Living Two Lives - Book 11

Chapter 1

One thing that Suzanne and Andrew had forgotten that special Sunday morning was that now he had a flatmate! They had both wandered to the bathroom without a stitch on, but had managed to escape embarrassment then. However, when they walked through to the dining room and kitchen and saw Pete there, the looks were akin to deer in the headlights. Pete was trying not to laugh but suddenly they all cracked up. Nothing was said yet the silence was loud and expressive. They were about to head out for lunch when Suzanne suddenly doubled over and gasped. Neither Pete nor Andrew were sure what was wrong but Andrew saw a darkening at the crutch of Suzanne’s jeans. She had mentioned that it was due any day but it looked like it had arrived, and in force! Suzanne was horrified and rushed off to the bathroom and was there for a while. Pete had been planning to head to his parents to get some odds and ends he had forgotten so he discretely headed off. Eventually Suzanne called for Andrew to pass her robe to her and only opened the door a crack to snatch it from his grasp. It was a further 15 minutes before she finally made an appearance, looking very wan and still embarrassed.

“Do you think you can run me over to my folks please. I need to do some laundry and rest there. I think I am going to stay there tonight. The flow is much heavier than normal for some reason and well.”

Suzanne’s explanation petered out. Andrew had been around enough women on their periods to know that it was a personal thing and Suzanne had just bled out in front of him and Pete. So he grabbed the car keys and took her over to her parents. He pulled into the drive and gave Suzanne a hug.

“I’ll give you a call tomorrow and let you know how I feel, okay?”

“Sure. Let’s go for dinner even if you want to stay here. It will be our last night this break.”

With a gentle kiss Suzanne trudged into the house, she really was suffering. Andrew grabbed some fast food on the way down to the Food Bank warehouse. He hadn’t planned on working there but would put in a couple of hours. Dave just nodded and once Andrew had scoffed down his lunch he hauled boxes of food as normal. But just after 3.00 he was parking the car and walking over to the studio. The three of them sat and chatted while Andrew developed all the negatives. Tony was going to get kicked out when Andrew started printing the photos.

“So how did it go?”

Andrew explained the three phases of the shoot and how Stacey had been unexpected obsessed about her tummy.

“What was interesting was that she was more relaxed with being naked than she was in clothes. But the way I had her posed allowed her to emphasis the parts of her body that she was proud of, or comfortable with. If you are going to photograph women who would not normally be models then you need to be ready for that. For instance I think Stacey would have been fine in a corset for example. Everything that she worried about carefully concealed. Also having a friend there also helped. Now it might not work for everybody but it definitely helped with Stacey. They had known each other for 25 years so there was a banter between them that wasn’t forced. Plus I think it is good advertising, letting someone else see what the shoot is like. At first a lot of the customers will be word of mouth. The other thing I noticed is that it forced me not to rush to the good bits. When you know the model isn’t going to get naked then it meant I posed her more in the dress, around the set, in her underwear. It is a very different way to pose someone than with a standard model.”

They both had been nodding as Andrew explained the shoot.

“It is all about relaxing the model and being ready to deal with her having a sudden concern about her body.”

“Women are all like that. I know that I pose as a nude model but it doesn’t mean that I am not happier with some parts of my body than others. Before Andrew became obsessed with photographing my arse I always worried it was too big. Three years of you standing behind me with a camera have changed my mind but I understand what you are saying.”

They all laughed but Maggie was also telling the truth. She had great tits, nice and big and still firm but Andrew was an arse man as Suzanne had reminded him that very morning. They left the negatives to dry and went upstairs for tea.

“Do you think Stacey’s friend will book a shoot?”

“I think so. She seemed to enjoy herself and was in some of the photos. She has a very beautiful face. But she is also a big woman, not a shape that is normally found on a model. I think she is intrigued by the idea but lots of women are intrigued by the idea but aren’t ready to be photographed in their underwear, or less. We will see. What is the plan for tomorrow?”

“We have directions to the starting point of the hike, there is a small car park. I checked the forecast this morning and it is supposed to be dry tonight and 3 or 4 degrees, so comfortably above freezing. It is also supposed to be dry all day tomorrow. When do you want to start?”

“Early, first thing in the morning. Two reasons, one I think it will be quieter then, but I have 10 rolls of film to print today, review carefully, select the best ones for the album, maybe enlarge one or two and prepare everything for Stacey. I only have today or tomorrow when we get back. How long does the guidebook say it will take to climb the mountain and return to your car?”

“Four to six hours.”

“Plus 90 minutes each way so between seven and nine hours. If we left at 6.30 we could start the climb at 8.00 and hopefully be back at the car before 2.00. Grab a bite to eat and still be back here just after 4.00.”

Andrew knew that the following day he would be struggling for energy after a long day in the mountains so drank up his tea and headed back down to the darkroom. While he got everything ready Maggie selected a photo album from the stock in the shop and then they got started. The chat quickly returned to the nascent business again.

“You seemed very positive earlier. You really think it has a chance?”

“I am mostly basing that positive assumption on what you are saying about women generally. If, as you say, there are a lot of women that have these fantasies or dreams of being a model, even if it is just for one day, then I think there is a very solid sustainable business there. It may take time to grow but there is an unmet demand. It is also a business that lends itself to the two of you working together. A lot of the sessions will be evenings and weekends. The prospective models will have to schedule the session round real life. And as I have mentioned before, having you be the face of it will be a huge help, probably the key difference maker.”

Maggie didn’t immediately agree with Andrew but she didn’t demur either. What he was saying was true.

“I have been meaning to ask you, were the two of them okay with you as the photographer. I don’t think Stacey’s oldest is a teenager yet but I know that Elspeth’s oldest is 16. I wondered if having someone your age photographing the shoot was awkward.”

“It might have been but I was definitely the lesser of two evils for Stacey. And you know how I can get, I go all serious and focused on the shoot. I stepped out the studio a couple of times and turned my back another couple so I kept it really professional. It is a question that is better asked to Stacey.”

“What about you? What was the shoot like for you? Different than with me?”

“Oh completely. You and I joke and banter when we are shooting, not all the time, but there is an undercurrent of friendship. With you I have started to be a little more explicit, teasing you about what Tony is seeing, things like that. With Stacey it was all endless positive reinforcement. It is the same with any photographer, there is endless amounts of feedback to the model. I was even more over the top with her. But as long as her bare tummy was not in the frame she was fine. You will see the shots in a few minutes.”

“It will be nice to work together with Tony. This is the perfect spare time hobby for us both. I will get some decent make up products and a curling iron or something like that and offer to help the model with her hair and make-up. That way I can chat to her before the shoot, get some ideas of things to focus on, areas to stay away from, little things to make the shoot go well.”

The chat and the endless conveyor belt of prints meant that neither of them were really looking at Stacey’s pictures individually. It was completing the print and setting it aside to dry before turning to the next print. Thank goodness Tony had lots of drying racks.

“You are going to take your camera tomorrow, yes?”

“Don’t worry I will be ready should the opportunity present itself. I want to capture the naked Munro-bagger in all her glory.”

Maggie giggled.

“Can you imagine the Scottish Mountaineering Club if we submitted a picture like that from the top of Schiehallion?”

“They would be worried if they printed it in their magazine that Schiehallion would become the most popular mountain in Scotland. People would keep climbing it trying to catch a glimpse of the naked mountaineer.”

Maggie was laughing but she didn’t know that Andrew had made some purchases and had a plan. They worked away and finally had all the photographs printed out. They carried the first four rolls worth through to the large table in the studio. Andrew was pleasantly pleased how well the photographs had turned out. Stacey was relaxed and there were several shots that really stood out. From the 96 prints they were easily able to select 10 for inclusion in the album. The two rolls where Stacey was out of her dress were also easy, but in a different way. The entire first roll was poor compared to the previous ones. The second roll, mainly with her arse pointing towards the mirror were better but it was only the last couple of shots that were sufficiently natural and relaxed to be included in the album. The final four rolls were just about dry but they had the exact opposite problem, finding any to cull. The two rolls of film with Stacey naked under the blanket, were just chock full of lovely photographs. They were able to select the best 12 but they could have added another 12 as well. So they had the main album of 24 shots. Andrew decided to put the more comic shots with Elspeth and the towels in a separate album. They created a sequence that flowed nicely from Stacey in her robe to Stacey with a face cloth over her arse crack. Elspeth was in six or eight of the shots. The cover photograph for that album was also easy. The shot of Stacey with her back and legs covered but her arse on display was the obvious cover shot. They chose the one from her feet with Stacey looking back over her shoulder. It was a cheeky smile. In two places. The cover photo for the main album was a close up of Stacey’s face and bare shoulders. There was something about her expression that spoke to both Maggie and Andrew and so it was an easy choice. The final photograph was Stacey’s moment as a glamour model. Andrew enlarged the shot where she was topless on the bed. He had to crop it slightly so that there were no visual distractions but it came out very nicely. He framed it in a simple but elegant frame, the sort of frame that people have on their mantelpieces. Andrew was pretty sure this photo wasn’t going to be in the living room but that was the final piece. It was late but Stacey had 10 packets of prints, less those in the albums, with the negatives, two albums, one classic and one more light-hearted, and a single portrait of her as the Friday night glamour model. Andrew was starving but pleased to have everything completed. He would be able to enjoy climbing the mountain the next day without worrying about rushing back to the studio to complete the printing.

“I think she will be blown away Andrew. It is a shame that you are not going to be here when she receives them.”

“That can’t be helped. I may give you a call during term to find out her reaction.”

Pete had only got back shortly before Andrew and they sat and chatted over a beer while Andrew ate a late fish supper.

“I was totally bummed out that I had to go back down to the house the day after moving in here but it turned out alright. Bruce has been an annoying little shit for what feels like years and so I got payback for all his crap. And once I started Fiona stuck the boot in as well. We made the little git cry. At one point Fiona asked him why he had four showers yesterday and two more this morning.”

Fiona was Pete’s little sister, and Bruce’s twin.

“Dad started laughing along with the two of us and even Mum couldn’t keep a straight face. I think he has been annoying Fi even more than me. I told him he could only spend 30 seconds in the bathroom, any more and we would get suspicious. Quick as a flash Fi says he would still have time for two wanks since he was Quick Draw McGraw, or at least so the girls at school told her. My little sister. At the dinner table. Complete chaos. Of course Fiona got a lecture about being a good girl and talk like that is unbecoming a lady and blah, blah, blah. Totally worth it. I think Bruce is worried about the tales Fi is going to tell at school when the break is over. I hope Suzanne is feeling better tomorrow and I get the chance to thank her.”

The following morning Andrew was up in plenty of time and prepared his big rucksack. When he had bought it the previous week he had picked up various recommended safety items, including a lightweight torch, a small first aid kit and a tiny kit to start a fire. There weren’t any hills in Cambridgeshire or Norfolk but preparation for exercises was not that different to a day in the mountains. Andrew put a waterproof jacket and hat in the bottom of the backpack, packed some snacks and water and then got the additional items for the shoot. He really hoped that they would get a few minutes alone on the summit as it would be a real ball ache to haul it to the top of the mountain to find a family of six sitting there having a picnic. But he was all set. He had worn his hiking boots on and off for a week and they were already softer and more comfortable having been broken in.

Andrew’s pack went into the boot of the car together with his camera bag, Tony’s backpack and a basket of food and thermoses for their return from climbing. Maggie drove Tony’s car and Tony showed Andrew the route from the carpark to the summit. Tony had a good map and compass, and Maggie had copied out the route from a book at the library. 80 minutes after setting off they were parking at the little carpark to the north and east of the mountain. There was only one other car there, with a local dealer sticker on it. Andrew put his hand on the bonnet and there was no residual heat. If they were locals they had been off for quite a while. Andrew slung his pack on his back and deflected the questions Tony and Maggie had about all the items strapped to the pack. Tony took food and water in his pack and Maggie just had Andrew’s camera in hers. Andrew had weighed himself down but wasn’t bothered.

It was an overcast morning when they set off but the wind was in their faces and the sky was clearer ahead. It was turning into a beautiful Spring day. The first hour was straightforward, the path clear and obvious and there was no sign of another soul. The three of them walked line astern enjoying the quiet that comes from being away from civilisation. Andrew checked over his shoulder back down to the car park every 15 minutes or so but as they reached the end of the easy part of the climb there were still only two lonely cars in the car park. The climb up Schiehallion had two parts. The easy first part of the climb actually covered most of the height. But the second leg, although shorter and not as steep was much more difficult. Tiresome is probably a better word. It was an hour plus long traverse through a boulder field to reach the summit. They sat on some convenient rocks at that point and drank water. There was not an obvious path but as long as they continued to climb up they were going in the right direction. 20 minutes into the boulder field they met the occupants of the other car. A father and son who were dentists of all things and who had been set off more than an hour earlier than Andrew, Maggie and Tony. They chatted for a minute and were told to shade slightly further north as it was marginally easier through the boulders. Within two minutes they were out of sight heading back to the car park. And 45 gruelling minutes later the three of them were standing at the small cairn on the top of Schiehallion. Maggie and Tony had just climbed their first Munro. For Andrew it was his second as his parents had made him climb Ben Lawers as a 10 year old.

Andrew hadn’t realised that Tony had carefully packed a thermos and so the three of them sat in the shelter of some rocks and had some tea. Andrew didn’t even have to suggest anything, Maggie pulled his camera case from her backpack and handed it over. It wasn’t cold but it was gusty but she wasn’t going to be deterred.

“I saw you checking when we were climbing at first. There is no one behind us?”

Andrew shook his head.

“There were still only two cars when we reached the boulder field. That is an hour walk. And we passed the only other people on the mountain. It is too cold to dilly dally but we don’t have to worry about some family arriving unexpectedly.”

Andrew later found out that Maggie had practiced stripping out of her climbing clothes in the flat. He was amazed at her efficiency. She stripped her top half completely, carefully stuffing everything into her pack in the right order. Then she pulled a towel out of a side pocket and used that to protect the soles of her feet when she took her boots off. The bottom half of her clothes went into the pack with the same care before she re-laced her boots. Maggie Fife was standing at the top of Schiehallion wearing socks, hiking boots and a smile. Andrew couldn’t help smiling himself. A full roll of film was shot of the views in the different directions. Then Andrew sprang his surprise. He unstrapped the two canvas sacks from his pack and produced two lightweight canvas stools, a simple unfolding x-frame with a canvas seat. Then from within his pack he produced a small easel, paints and a smock for Tony. The looks of incredulity turned to manic laughter as they saw Andrew setting up a small painting tableau on the top of a mountain!

“I had no idea what was in your pack and these sacks, but you mean to tell me you planned all this and carried all this crap up to the top of Schiehallion.”

Andrew nodded. Tony was still laughing as he took off his jacket and donned the smock. He set up the easel, which had a piece of paper already securely clamped down, and then the paints. As a final flourish Andrew produced a natty beret for Tony and Maggie’s floppy sun hat, looking rather the worse for wear after the journey in his backpack. As soon as Maggie saw the hat she looked at Andrew wide-eyed.

“Bloody hell you really are going to try and get the photo published.”

Andrew nodded. The second roll of film had the two of them playing artist and model. Again Andrew moved around the summit taking shots from every angle. The third and final roll of film was much more carefully posed. The second roll had been fully nude, Maggie making no effort to maintain her previous limits, if anything every time they went out on a shoot she got more and more explicit. But the third roll Andrew went for the tease. He stood behind Tony getting him in the foreground with Maggie facing away three quarter side on. It was all her arse cheek and glorious side boob. But he also got her to shift slightly to her left, reducing the amount of cheek on display and just subtly turn her torso, again minimising the amount of naked breast that was captured. He had her use her left hand as a hand bra for her right breast, this allowed a more side on shot. All in all it was probably 30 minutes at the top of the hill with Maggie wearing just her boots. But the wind was picking up and they didn’t want to push their luck any more than they had already. So while Tony helped Andrew collapse the stools and easel and get everything repacked in his backpack, Maggie reversed her initial undressing and with care redressed so that she was once again warm and cozy. They sat for another small cuppa to warm her up before starting to retrace their route down. The boulder field was a chore, there was no way round it, and if there was an easier way it was not obvious to the three of them. But eventually they were through it and the walk back to the car was straightforward. The climbing had been about four and a half hours and together with the photo session meant they were back at the car just after 1.00. All three of them were glad to remove their packs and sit on a grassy bank and catch their breath. They had encountered two groups just as they were leaving the boulder field and the path had been comparatively busy all the way back down. They had lucked out with the perfect window between the keen locals there at the crack of dawn and regular climbers. They all changed out of their boots and then drove the 10 miles back to Aberfeldy. They pulled over in a small car park and Maggie cracked open the sandwiches and fresh thermos of tea.

“I can’t believe you dragged all that stuff up to the top of a mountain. Was it not heavy? Are you not tired?”

“It was more bulky and awkward shapes rather than heavy. And no I am not tired. I have been away on five weekend exercises with the OTC while at Cambridge and I exercise every day.”

“What made you pick that?”

“It was after we shot Maggie at Curriehill. Standing on the platform is too close. So I was thinking about different ideas for a shoot and for some reason an artist and his model in a field beside the train track came to mind, I don’t know why. And from there I thought it would be a great shot if we got reasonable weather and no people around. Frankly the people were more of a concern than the weather. And so I risked it. And we lucked out. But the view down to Loch Rannoch is pretty well known and so people will know that it really was shot at the top of Schiehallion. That is why I spent time making sure that Maggie’s face was obscured by the hat and that I had a variety of degrees of nudity as well. I don’t know who will publish the photo and how much they will show but I do know that it is publishable. It is not faked and the idea of a model posing naked at the top of a Munro is so ridiculous that it will get out.”

The two of them considered this as Andrew demolished another sandwich. Tony deferred to Maggie.

“It is moments like this, days like today, that just make me shake my head in wonder. I was sitting there on that stool and I could hardly focus. I couldn’t help laughing. Only you could do something so utterly ridiculous, and yet so utterly unique. And I loved how you understand me. At some point in the next year a picture of me naked is going to get published sitting on the top of mountain, stark naked. And yet there will be no way to know that it is me. I have been in three photo magazine competitions already and now this. It is such a rush. Andrew we all know you are this clever clog engineer but you have some serious creative instincts as well. You see the picture in your mind and you try to recreate it. I think it is interesting that you don’t flash your cash on big fancy purchases but you do use the freedom that having some money gives you to go ahead and buy all these props. It wasn’t even the money, it is thinking about what you need, buying it, remembering to get my hat. Clever, organised, rich and creative. Not the typical description of an engineer, is it?”

Maggie didn’t press the issue and Andrew tried to demur but she wasn’t wrong. They finished the sandwiches and their tea and headed back to Edinburgh. Andrew didn’t stay and left the three rolls of film with Tony to develop. It would be June before he would see the pictures. Andrew promised to write during the term and he left the two of them with hugs and handshakes as usual. He had nipped in and phoned Suzanne, who was feeling much better, so he drove over to her house and collected her. Back at the flat the incident of the previous day was carefully ignored and the two of them lounged in the living room watching television and chatting away.

“Do you have any idea what you are doing for the summer yet?”

Andrew shook his head.

“I have no clue. I will need to get something sorted out and quickly. What about you?”

“I have applied to the Forestry Commission, which is 10 minutes from home. They take in a lot of summer students and with my degree I am hoping to get the job. Do you have any idea what you want to do?”

“No. I don’t want to be holding a theodolite beside some new motorway all summer but I will talk to people on the course and in the department, see what there is to do. I will write to you and let you know. Will you do the same?”

“Of course.”

Pete came back and the three of them made dinner and relaxed together, enjoying doing nothing. Although Suzanne had to wear ugly granny pants to bed it didn’t stop Andrew from spooning in tight behind her. It felt so right to have her cuddled into his arms. Hmmm.

 

Chapter 2

On Tuesday morning Suzanne drove Andrew down to the train station. He told her to use the car until she went back to Glasgow, it would allow her some freedom. The car ended up parked at the side of her parent’s drive until the end of term. As for his parents, Andrew had no contact. He left a Hermès scarf in his room for his mother and packed the rest with him. He sat on the train heading south contemplating the next few days with Jim and Freya; he did not know what to expect. Putting it out of his mind he retreated into his textbooks and the journey passed in the blink of an eye. The next two weeks were important to Andrew allowing him to review everything from the course so far and feel that he was ready for the start of the final term. There were only four weeks of classes so the amount of new material was less than the first two terms, but he still wanted to ensure that he gave himself the best chance to get a good grade in the final exams. And yes, deep down he knew he was fine, but studying was his yoga, it calmed him and turned all his focus inward.

The late morning train from Edinburgh got Andrew to King’s Cross right in the middle of the rush hour so he fought the Tube chaos over to the Baker Street station. Escaping above ground again he found the agreed pub, called the Deerstalker strangely, on the corner of Marylebone Road and Baker Street. Once inside and he saw all the paraphernalia, it hit him that he was in Sherlock Holmes territory, thus the name of the pub. Andrew nursed a pint and got engrossed back into his textbook, thermodynamics at that moment. Suddenly he heard a laugh and looked up to see Lord Barnes and Mrs. Moray standing next to him, both with smiles on their faces. He jumped up to greet them.

“Hello Andrew.”

Freya pulled him in for a hug followed by a handshake from Lord Barnes, who went off to get drinks for them. Freya sat down next to Andrew.

“It is good to see you Andrew, have you been waiting long?”

“Er, I don’t think so but I was engrossed in my book so I didn’t notice the time passing.”

“That is what was making us chuckle, you were so focused on your book you didn’t even notice us when we came in, even when we were beside you.”

He flushed, but she had a point. He was notorious for tuning the world out when he was studying. Lord Barnes came back with the drinks and joined them.

“Let’s get one thing dealt with at the beginning please Andrew. When it is just the three of us please call us Jim and Freya and let’s not waste any time on dancing around the subject, okay? I understand that you will revert to titles when there are others present but when it is just us please skip the formality.”

What he said made sense and as Andrew was staying with them he did not fight it. It still felt odd to call him Jim to his face but he had used it as a shorthand mentally when thinking about the trip. They had their drinks and the chat was all superficial, how had Edinburgh been, all that sort of thing. Once they were done it was but a five minute walk to their flat, in the appropriately named Montagu Mansions; no really that was the name of the street. They had a lovely three bedroom flat, much larger than Andrew’s own place, and they showed him their guest room which thankfully for everyone’s modesty had an ensuite. They were going to eat out but for a few minutes they talked more freely about their jobs, something they had not done in the pub. For the next hour they kept him entertained with superficial stories of the law and government, areas where his knowledge was thin. But it was also clear that the discussions were superficial, details were conspicuous by their absence.

Freya Moray had been the number two civil servant at the Scottish Office, with the title of Deputy Secretary. With Jim Barnes becoming a law lord and moving to London she had requested and been granted a transfer to a Department based in the city. She was now Deputy Secretary at the Ministry of Defence, based in Whitehall across from Downing Street and less than two blocks from the Houses of Parliament where Jim was based. The Scottish Office had one Deputy Secretary whereas the MoD had three and she was now one of them. That was all she told Andrew about the details of her job. Over the coming years he figured out what her job was but at the time all he knew she was a very senior civil servant and that was about it.

Lord Barnes had been ennobled as Baron Barnes of Cramond in the City of Edinburgh and now was one of the 11 Law Lords. He worked in the Houses of Parliament which Andrew thought was incredibly cool. The House of Commons is at the north end of the building, closer to Big Ben and Westminster Bridge, whereas the House of Lords is down at the south end of the building. Jim explained that the Law Lords used to sit and listen to cases in the actual chamber but now there was a suite of committee rooms set aside for them in which to hear cases. But again there was nothing more substantive discussed. There had been a car bomb that killed an MP right there in 1979, the IRA were active, four months earlier there had been a bomb at Harrods which had killed six people, so the threat of an attack on the Houses of Parliament was real. And Andrew had no expectations at all of any discussions of the legal issues before him.

So the discussions were both interesting and at the same time tantalising, they both knew what they could discuss but equally what they could not. The tone of the conversation changed once they had finished talking business. They had decided to marry and were now engaged. It was at this point that the ring on Freya’s finger became obvious. Andrew congratulated them both and tried, without seeming to pry, to discern what Moira’s reaction was. Like he could pull that off with this pair.

“In answer to your delicately phrased non-questions, Moira is delighted for us. She has her own life, which may or may not involve moving to Reykjavík, and although we speak every week she is not around much anymore. I have kept the Edinburgh house and she can always stay there whenever she wants. Freya decided to sell her place, it made no sense to keep three places, two seems an extravagance frankly. We do have some things we want to ask you but we should head for dinner as you must be starving.”

The first part of the evening revealed nothing of what else they wanted to ask him. Dinner was in an Italian place close to their flat where they were already known. The conversation was mostly about Andrew and especially the investment business. Most of the conversation over dinner revolved around the difficulty of finding new businesses, but also the definition of a new business and also the issue of just displacing an existing business. They listened as Andrew explained Leslie’s passion for fundamental investment, both at the school level as well as specific university research projects.

“You are trying to thread a very complicated needle with all these constraints Andrew.”

That was Jim’s observation.

“I suppose we are. But I have thought about it a lot over the last six months, and especially in the last couple of weeks. Doug Somers has drilled into us the need to make money so that we don’t fritter this opportunity away, so first of all there has to be a realistic business plan. At the same time, we look at what the business is. One of the first investment proposals was for car components, well laid out, there seemed to be substance behind it, all that sort of thing, but what was missing was a good understanding of the market. Doug convinced us that a small car component company in Scotland was not a good investment. As with all these things he never says that they cannot work, he just does not think it has much of a chance. So we try to focus on new technology rather than businesses that are haemorrhaging people at the moment. Then the final thing we consider is whether we are just moving employment from one business to another. Doug and Brian Campbell have both cautioned us about this one as it can lead you into trying to pick winners and losers and they are both adamant that we will fail if we do that. It has been a harder education for me than my university studies, which is good. At the end of the day I am trying to help businesses get established, grow and succeed. If I remember that then everything else will work out. All three of us are benefiting from the time and help of Doug Somers. He runs his own firm but without him we would still be struggling to get this all set up, and I doubt we would have raised the additional money. I think he enjoys the challenge of beating investment sense into Julian and me.”

They walked back to the flat after dinner and Andrew had the opportunity to give Freya her scarf. She was embarrassingly happy and blinked back tears before pulling him into another full body hug. For a reserved Scottish matron she sure was tactile. Hmmm. Jim gave Andrew a hard time for making his life more difficult, now Freya would expect such fancy presents from him too. Andrew really didn’t see the caché of these damn scarves but everyone loved them. Manon was going to end up with a hell of a Christmas present at this rate. He had taken the time to call both Navya and Helena before they left for dinner and was meeting Navya the following morning while Helena was going to come up to the city the day after. Andrew and Navya were going to have dinner so that he didn’t impose too much on Freya and Jim.

He was up before his hosts and after exercising set off to see if he could run round Regent’s Park. He found something called the Outer Circle, and followed it round the whole Park, twice. Walking the five blocks back to the flat allowed him to cool off and he entered the flat to discover domestic bliss going on in the kitchen. Andrew showered and just caught them both as they left for the day. While it had been nice to sit and chat with them, he was always reminded of who they were, what their jobs were, and as a result felt like he was ‘on’ the whole time. As the door closed behind them the tension left him and he could finally relax. He read over breakfast and afterwards before cleaning up and heading to Baker Street Tube station for 10.00. Navya saw Andrew before he saw her and ambushed him as he stood looking around aimlessly in the concourse of the station. He picked her up and spun her round, causing faux outrage as she smacked him on the shoulders.

“Put me down you big Scottish git, jeez.”

“I missed you too, sarcastic Indian midget.”

Her smile was wide and genuine.

“I am glad you were able to spend some time in London; the family are driving me mad. What have you been up to on your break, other than studying of course.”

Andrew’s problem was modelling in Paris was a story he was going to tell the next day when Helena was there as well. Edinburgh consisted of business, which he was not going to mention; a lot of time with Suzanne, which he was not going to mention; a lot of time with Tony and Maggie, which he was not going to mention; and studying.

“I will tell you all about Paris tomorrow when Helena gets here, I only want to go through it all once, and it is a very good story. Scotland involved catching up with friends and studying and here I am. Oh, there is one thing we need to talk about, I got a flatmate while I was home. One of my friends from school wanted to escape the family clutches and so he is my new flatmate. You are still welcome to come and stay during the summer but the logistics now get more complicated.”

“Well I doubt that I would get the parental okay to stay at a man’s flat on my own, even if there was a separate bedroom. I will see if I can come up at stay if I am in a hotel, to be honest I have held off saying anything to them. Mum in particular seems more conservative and traditional now that I have been away for a couple of terms. The attitude is ‘what have you done for me lately’; it is all well and good that both of us made it to Cambridge and Ru is only a term away from graduating but now all she thinks about is marrying us off. Make Mrs. Bennet brown and you have my mother.”

“That is tough for both of you. Do they expect Rupashi to move back home when she finishes or can she live on her own or with flatmates?”

“I have not heard it discussed but I would assume they expect her to move home. She has a job lined up with a city law firm and so I expect she will have to deal with Mum and all her scheming. Although the way Ru talks the hours are insane on a training contract and she will never be home but who knows. I can keep the wolf from the door for three more years anyway.”

They ended up spending the day at London Zoo, not Andrew’s first choice but it was not too busy and it let the two of them chat away. Andrew still thought back to his trip to Edinburgh Zoo roughly four years earlier and even although he was with Mar and they fucked afterwards, his overriding memory was of those poor zebras huddled together on the top of Corstorphine Hill, rain blowing sideways and the temperature in the low single digits. There was no specific animal that caught his eye like that, it was more the lack of space. Every single exhibit felt like it should be twice as big, if not more. But this was time with Navya and they chatted away, talking about everything and nothing just relaxing and enjoying time together. Appropriately enough considering they were at the zoo, she finally brought up the elephant in the room.

“So, are you going to call Ru while you are in town?”

“I think that will be her decision to make. It is not a secret that I am here but I don’t want to distract her on this last break before her final exams. If she wants to spend some time with me, great, but I am not going to make her life either miserable or confused, never mind the whole cultural thing with your parents. You know full well that I am really attracted to her but she deserves something better than a dalliance with me.”

“You can be sickeningly noble sometimes Andrew, do you know that? Helena comes up tomorrow and we will spend the day with her, but if I can get her to agree why don’t you spend some time with Ru on Friday. I think she could do with the break from her studying.”

Andrew shrugged which was as close to enthusiastic agreement as he was capable of. To complete their tourist adventures he ponied up and they went round Madame Toussad’s which is at the south end of Regent’s Park.

“I have lived a few stops up on the Tube from this my whole life and I have never been here.” Navya confessed.

Given it took a New Zealander to get Andrew up the Scott Monument he understood how you forget to play tourist in your own town. Dinner afterwards was in the same pub that he met Jim and Freya the previous day.

“What are you doing tonight? Any plans?”

“I don’t know for sure. Spend the night chatting to my friends I would guess. I don’t want to ignore them both tonight and tomorrow. The three of us can go wherever you want tomorrow and we should plan to have dinner out. Is Helena staying with you?”

Helena was indeed staying with Navya, through until Sunday. They arranged to meet at the same spot and then get the Tube into town and meet Helena at Waterloo. Andrew walked with Navya back to Baker Street station and saw her on her way before heading back to Jim and Freya’s. They were cleaning up after dinner and they all sat in their drawing room to chat. They both seemed slightly ill at ease and Andrew wondered if he had done something wrong. Freya started the conversation.

“There are two things I would like to discuss with you Andrew, one professional and one very personal.”

She paused and sighed before looking up at him and carrying on.

“There is a program for a number of summer students at the Ministry and I wondered whether you would be interested in applying. There are all sorts of positions for the 10-week long program. Given your academic record and involvement in the CCF and now the OTC, I think you would have a very good chance of being interviewed and selected. I brought home a form in case you did want to apply and I could drop it off in the morning.”

She looked at him expectantly and Andrew realised that it was time he understood what was going on here.

“Freya that sounds like an interesting summer job and I will complete the form after we finish up this chat but first there is something I need to ask the two of you. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I am sitting here in your home after all, but I don’t think I can push down these questions any more.

“Why are you doing all this for me? For the last year you have been like some favourite aunt and uncle to me. Just your friendship alone is amazing but then the speech at my party and that insane evening at your Hogmanay party. I am an 18-year-old young man, unrelated to either of you, who you only met because the girl I was studying with pushed me into going and talking to, and then helping, Moira. What you have done for me, what you are still doing for me, it doesn’t add up.”

Andrew stopped and looked at them with raised eyebrows.

“I heard the phrase ‘that big old brain’ at that party of yours and now I can see that you use it, not that I doubted it mind.”

Jim was not angry, in fact he had an oddly relieved look on his face. He said nothing else but looked at Freya.

“It is tied through to the personal request that I have to make of you. Andrew, I am 54 this year and I have a difficult past. My father was a Scottish fisherman that met a Norwegian woman when forced into Bergen harbour by damage to his boat. He ended up moving to Norway, marrying my mother and they produced me. I had 10 wonderful and peaceful years in Norway until 1940. Then within the space of three weeks both my parents were killed by the invading Germans. I had no immediate family in Norway and so I was evacuated to Scotland to stay with my father’s older spinster sister. I was there for the remaining five years of the war and ended up being adopted by her. As I said I had no family in Norway willing to adopt me, a 15-year-old girl who had spent five years in Scotland. So I stayed. I came to love Scotland, I was a British citizen through my father so it was not as if I was an foreigner in a strange land. By the end of the war I sounded just like all the other children in Dingwall. I went off to university where I met my first husband, Robert Moray. This was in the mid 1950’s and we were a happy couple for nearly ten years. We were never able to have children until finally, miraculously, I became pregnant in the autumn of 1964.”

Freya paused and her voice turned bleak.

“But there was a car crash in the winter, Robert died and I lost my unborn son.”

Jim was holding her hand but saying nothing. Freya looked up and smiled sadly at Andrew.

“For too many years after that all I did was work. I was successful at my job and was repeatedly promoted but it was not until I met Jim four years ago that I started to really live again. And then on that famous night two years ago I met you. The charming young man doing something nice for a friend.”

She stopped and looked Andrew square in the eye.

“You are the same age as my son would have been, and I know I am not your family or anything crazy like that, but I wish my son would have turned out as well as you have. I would like for you to think of me, of us, as like an aunt and uncle. I have no family, and until I met Jim I was all alone here. What I would like is for you to walk me down the aisle at the wedding ceremony. Would you do that for me please Andrew?”

So how do you respond to something like that? Andrew said yes and was hugged a lot, but there was a lot more to it than that. He was taken aback and uneasy about the whole thing. He was sad that Freya had gone through so much, including losing both her parents in the war and then her husband and unborn child in a car crash. But selfishly what Andrew was thinking about most of all was his own parents, their treatment of him, compared to the treatment from Jim and Freya. And it had nothing to do with the fancy flat in London and their powerful jobs. A woman who lost her son 19 years earlier hoped that he would have grown up to be like Andrew, yet his own father actively disliked him and his mother was his silent and passive accomplice. Freya went to bed early that night and while she was settling and Jim stayed through with her for a while talking to her, Andrew sat and robotically completed the MoD form for Freya to deal with in the morning. Jim came back as Andrew was debating going to bed. What he felt he needed more than anything else was a pool where he could lose himself for an hour as he swam and thought. Jim interrupted these musings by passing Andrew a glass with a healthy slug of whisky.

“Thank you for listening to that Andrew. You are smart enough to understand how profound the impact of that evening with Allison was. Freya is incredibly proud of what you have accomplished and she wants to help you as much as she can. She is a strong woman, she has had to be for so long but you have an importance to her that cannot be overstated. How are you doing?”

“There is a lot for me to take in and try and make sense of. I have done nothing to curry favour with Freya, my conscious is clear on that score, so she likes me as I am, not me playing a part. Please do not be offended but I think there are a lot of things that she should talk to someone about. I went to a psychologist who was a grief counsellor when Faith died and it helped me tremendously, especially with my anger issues. I had some issues with the parents of some of my friends.”

Jim laughed and it broke the tension.

“Freya needs some of the same help. But what the hell do I know, I am an 18-year-old engineering student with a big mouth.”

“No, you are more than that, but your comment makes sense. I will raise it with her but she is fiercely independent, she has made it almost to the top of a very male chauvinist organisation. She hates to display weakness, in case it is used as an excuse to pass her over for a job or position, so I make no promises.”

Andrew nodded, Freya was not someone who would be pushed into something unless she was convinced.

“Jim, I have been grateful for your support and friendship ever since Moira introduced us what, three and a half years ago?”

He stopped and considered whether to talk to Jim about his family.

“One of my personal problems with all this is it is very jarring for me compared to how my own parents are treating me at the moment. I am more relaxed with you and Freya than I am with my own parents and I am 10 times more relaxed with Brian and Mary Campbell. So dealing with that disappointment is hard enough but then to have the exact opposite dropped in my lap is unsettling. I know, or at least I hope, my parents love me and are proud of me but honestly that might be wishful thinking on my part. At present my father is profoundly unhappy with me, to the point of dislike.”

Andrew stopped and sighed before continuing on.

“I am proud and honoured that Freya asked me to walk her down the aisle and I will do that without reservation. Before the wedding I think I should spend some time and talk to her, no that is not right, I should listen to her and become more comfortable with our ongoing relationship.”

Jim pulled Andrew up and shook his hand.

“I knew that you would take this well, given that it is a lot to throw on someone with no notice. I will say nothing to Freya tonight but when you get back from your run in the morning perhaps you can repeat that last part to her. I know that it will put her mind at ease but also get her thinking about the future.”

Jim bid Andrew good night but he stood looking out on the quiet city street thinking about the evening. He could barely remember what had happened during the day, Freya’s talk had wiped everything from his mind. The civil service must have been a horror show in the 60’s and 70’s for her to have been so taken with his night out for Allison. As long as Freya did not get weird on him and start thinking Andrew was, or treating him as if he was, her son then it would be manageable. Spending a couple of days every break with her and Jim would not be a hardship as he could be in Cambridge in less than two hours from their flat. Andrew finally headed to bed less troubled than earlier in the evening, but aware that there were still lots of complications to deal with.

Despite being grungy and sweaty, Freya gave him a big hug when he saw her in the morning. Andrew had showered and changed before he told her he would be honoured to walk her down the aisle. He swore he heard a rib crack she hugged him so tight.

“You are a good man Andrew McLeod, a good man.”

After all that Andrew still had to get himself organised for meeting Navya at the Tube station. He carefully packed two more of the Hermès scarves at the top of his knapsack before heading out. He and Navya had arranged to meet on the platform, hopefully they would connect and immediately get back onto the train to continue the journey. That part of the plan worked flawlessly, the morning rush hour was over and Navya could spot him instantly. Andrew heard her before he saw her and they were on the train long before the doors closed.

“That was easy.”

She seemed pleased with herself.

“I am not difficult to spot in a crowd.”

“True, being part giraffe has its advantages. Moving on to more serious subjects, Ru would like to see you tomorrow, and without Helena or I around to make comments.”

Two people got up from their seats as the next station approached and she pulled him down beside her.

“I am going to need a chiropractor at the end of this visit. Anyway. Look Andrew, she is drawn to you and if she didn’t have 21 years of Indian mother programming to overcome the situation would be different. But she does and she is unhappy, at the whole world I think. You are a kind and gentle man, assuming no one brings up religion.” She smirked at him. “Listen to her and, oh I don’t know, book a hotel room and fuck her senseless all afternoon.”

Andrew snorted with laughter, but Navya carried on.

“Honestly, I don’t know whether that would be good or bad. Part of me thinks that is exactly what she needs but as I know you will be all noble as usual it is but a dream.”

“Let’s hope Helena doesn’t have the same plan or you are on your own today.”

He managed to keep a straight face for about a second and a half before guffawing out loud and dodging the inevitable whacks.

“Will you spend time with her tomorrow?”

“Are you sure that it is not going to make it worse? Maybe not seeing me is the best thing, rather than make her unhappy. There is not a happy ever after at the end of this Navya, other than a physical attraction we know little about the other person and we have spent what, fifteen hours together in six months.”

“I do know that she wants to see you, but you are right, I don’t know if it is a good idea.”

“Why don’t the three of us meet in the morning, same idea as today, I will get on the train that you and Helena are on and we head into town again. Then maybe after lunch you and Helena can hit the shops or something, and I will meet Rupashi and we can meet up all four of us for drinks and dinner.”

“Sure, I will tell her tonight. Where?”

“Charing Cross Tube station at 2.00. Easy for her on the Tube and central to meet you and Helena later.”

This conversation had taken them two stops and they were pulling into that very station on the way to Waterloo and Helena. The Jubilee Line terminated there in those days so they braved the rickety Hungerford Bridge walkways to get to Waterloo. Navya was yattering away but Andrew was thinking about the scarves, and more importantly the story he was going to tell the pair of them. He had thought he would tell them about Paris and his modelling but neither of them were very discreet and if he told the full story then it was going to get out back at Trinity. He internally sighed, it looked like he was going back to keeping secrets. They stood in the concourse for 10 minutes waiting for Helena’s train to arrive but shortly after it pulled in Andrew saw Helena waving up at him and she found them without issue.

“He is useful in a crowd.”

Helena hugged Andrew before doing the same to Navya.

“That is what I said half an hour ago at Baker Street station.”

The weather was not great that day so they found an overpriced café in the station selling revolting coffee; this was 1984, Starbucks was not on every corner.

“So how was Paris Andrew? What did you and Pedro get up to?”

Helena’s raised eyebrows and tone made him laugh reflexively.

“We had an interesting time, mainly because of my friend Manon. But before I get into all the stories of our trip I have something for you both.”

Even although he should have been ready for the reaction it still took him aback, especially in public. As Andrew handed the scarves to the two women their eyes widened in shock before almost grabbing the scarves out of his hand. Then both of them tried to outdo each other in smothering him in kisses. The look in Helena’s eye promised much more than kisses when they got back to Cambridge. Once they calmed down Andrew explained about the scarves, Paris and Manon.

“So Manon had graduated from one of those Grande Ecoles last summer when I met her and Yasmine in London and again in Edinburgh. When Pedro and I met her in Paris last month I discovered that she works for Hermès in their Head Office, doing some kind of design work. She said she couldn’t really talk about what she did as it was still confidential but what she did do was take us to a fashion show that night. Now Pedro and I looked like a couple of students and this place was packed with bejeweled and showy people. We were discreetly hidden off in a corner, not quite out of sight but close, and we got to watch a private fashion show. Afterwards we met a couple of the models for drinks. If Pedro is not in love then he is in serious lust, I didn’t see him again until he had to leave for the airport. On the final morning, Manon gave me one of these scarves as a gift and kindly explained to me how women love them. It was a very thoughtful gesture but I also realised that one scarf was going to give me nothing but grief so I rushed off with her back to the store before I had to head to the airport myself and bought several more.”

“You had no idea that she worked for Hermès?” This was Helena.

“I am not even sure that she had the job when I first met her here in London. Even if she did, it was never mentioned. I had no idea what her job was until we pitched up that first morning.”

Navya looked at him with an inquisitive gaze.

“You bought me a scarf so that I didn’t feel left out, and to ensure that Helena didn’t think she only got one for sleeping with you.”

It was a statement not a question.

“I bought sufficient scarves to give to all the women in my life that are important to me. The two of you are probably my closest friends at Cambridge and so you both got scarves. Any other motivations are just your fertile imagination. Now what do you want to do today?”

Navya stared at Andrew for a second but then shrugged and they moved on. Both of them asked him to put the scarves back into his pack so that they did not get messed up with the weather.

“I would like to be able to chat to the two of you.” Helena volunteered. “I don’t need to see or do anything I just want to chat.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Andrew and I spent more time chatting yesterday at the zoo than looking at the animals. But the weather is so crappy today that we need to find somewhere indoors.”

“Well London is not short of museums or galleries so let’s pick one and just wander the exhibits chatting.”

Andrew’s contribution to the discussion.

“Sure, why not. The National Gallery is pretty close so let’s head there. There is a decent café there so we can have lunch as well.”

Navya and Andrew realised that if they had changed lines they could have taken the Tube there rather than walk in the rain so they jumped back on a different Tube for the two stops up to Charing Cross, then across Trafalgar Square and into the National Gallery. It was early in the day, out of the main tourist season so the place was almost deserted. The conversation had been a rehash of the day before but with Helena now adding her outlook as well.

“Can I ask you both a question?”

Helena had stopped in an empty room in the gallery and was looking at them expectantly. Navya busted her instantly.

“You just did.”

“Shut up, I want to ask you something that has been on my mind for a while but even more recently.”

Navya and Andrew looked at her with an expression of ‘alright get on with it’.

“Has Cambridge changed you?”

That was not really what he was expecting and since Navya looked equally confused it didn’t seem like it made sense to her either.

“Sorry I am not being clear. What I am finding is that I am moving on from my life at home, both with my family and my friends.”

As Andrew listened to Helena talk a lot of what she was saying struck a chord with him, although interestingly it was not a recent thing, for him the separation had been more gradual over the last five years. What he had felt over the summer was the culmination of years of being his own person. For Helena this feeling was both more intense and more recent.

When Andrew had visited during the Christmas break and her father had been so rude, it had forced Helena to start to view him individually, and her parents together, in a different light. And as it turned out a more critical light. This was not helped by Andrew showing her the picture of him with the Duke and Duchess at the start of the previous term. When she had returned to her home in March it felt confining and constraining. Of course, what the three of them were experiencing was almost universal amongst university students, especially those living away from home for the first time. It is part of growing up, fleeing the nest, starting to be your own person rather than the role you had played for the first 18 years of your life.

Andrew found himself wondering whether it was appropriate for him to be glad that he had cancer. Over the last five years he had redefined himself at school and with his family and had an ever evolving set of goals for his life. So he understood what she was saying although his current experiences of it were different than her own. It was interesting to get the perspective of a posh, upper middle class, home counties young woman who had lived a life of comfort but was still trying to find her own place in the world. Navya was the daughter of immigrants, a family who had worked hard for everything and now she and her sister were at Cambridge, fulfilling the dreams of her parents. But she too was dealing with changes in her life and her outlook, compounding by traditions and stereotypes of gender, race and culture. Those are her words not his because Navya eagerly took up Helena’s question.

“I know what you mean. I have talked to Andrew about this, and you and I have had innumerable conversations about it. It has got worse this break, because Rupashi and Mum have been fighting a lot about her life going forward after Cambridge and I am getting some of the backlash. It is as if she has all the dots on the picture but can’t join them up. We both studied hard both because it was our natures but also because of heavy parental pressure. We both got accepted to Cambridge and Mum and Dad could not have been happier. But suddenly, as Ru is getting close to graduation, Mum has gone totally crazy Indian mother worried only about Ru getting married.”

Navya exhaled a deep breath and blew out her cheeks in frustration.

“The main problem is that the Indian mother syndrome works on both sides. The mothers of the guys are just as bad as the mothers of the women. The reputation of Indian mothers-in-law is well deserved. Not all, but most of the men are not interested in their wife having a career, would expect the woman to stay home, look after the house, raise the children. And it is commonplace for the wife to move into her husband’s family home which means that she has to defer to his mother, the dreaded mother-in-law. Sure it is changing but not fast enough for Ru or I, and for a lot of our friends. There is a reason that I don’t hang out with any of the Indian guys at either College or in the Department.”

The two of them looked at Andrew expecting him to add his tale of woe.

“I agree that Cambridge is changing us, I don’t think that is specific to Cambridge I think what we are talking about is what a lot of university students go through when they are away from home for the first time. Going back at break is a step back into the past as opposed to the future. But I don’t have the specific woes that the two of you have. I couldn’t tell you when I knew that I would not be returning to Edinburgh to live after I graduate but when I applied to only English universities 18 months ago it was clear in my mind that my future was not Scotland, at least that was my presumption. As for all the family drama, you know I had a tough time at Christmas but I was also able to extract myself from it. I don’t really understand my own parents but I have several sets of older adults that I can use as sounding boards, pseudo parents almost. I faced it head on and dealt with the problem in a way that is not open to you. Your love overrides the frustration of your parents, and mother in particular, whereas my frustration overrode my love. I still love my parents but I don’t really like them, at least at present.”

Helena softly reached out and took his hand.

“That is very sad when you say it like that Andrew.”

He shrugged, what else could he do.

“True but it is the reality that I have to live so I deal with it. I am very fortunate that I have sufficient money to be able to have my own place and be able to live my life the way I want. We have five weeks of break but I only spent two weeks in Edinburgh. But getting this conversation back on track, of course we are changing, that is the whole point of university, alright maybe not the whole point but a sizeable part of it. You see it all around us both at Trinity and across the University as a whole. People are getting to live their lives how they want to, indulge their passions, sport, politics, arts, music, plus their course. Are they going to stay on and get into research, become an academic? What job are they going to do when the graduate? I remember you, Helena, telling us you had no idea what you were going to do with your English degree. University is about finding out about yourself, the world, and where you think you are going to fit into it.”

Navya smiled.

“I forget that you have thought about this for so long. You are the most organised and calm guy I know.”

 

Chapter 3

“Stop exaggerating. I am not as bad as all that Navya.”

“You really are the worst person in the world to give a compliment to Andrew, do you know that?”

She may have had a point.

“All I was meaning was that you have been very goal orientated for what, the last five years? Goals are by definition about the future and so your perspective has been dragged forward. For a lot of people at uni it is only now that they are starting to think about these things.”

Andrew shrugged, all right she did have a point. He mostly listened for the next couple of hours as first Helena and then Navya talked about specifics of life back at their home and back with friends from before university. Most of the tropes or stereotypes about teenage girls were covered over these two hours, Andrew supposed there is a reason that they exist in the first place. It was sad to hear both Helena and Navya recount the unpleasantness of their so-called friends. It was a manifestation of the very British phenomenon of cutting someone down as soon as they make something of themselves. It got much more noticeable in the decades that followed but it was always there. The energy expended trying to diminish someone or their achievements was impressive, sad but impressive. As he listened what was clear was that Helena and Navya had a lot of friends while at school. Not everyone went to university and so there were lots of their friends who were at a different place in their life compared to the pair of them. It struck Andrew that they were both popular women while at school and had a large group of friends or close acquaintances. When he had returned from his cancer treatment he was pretty friendless and so never developed a wide group of friends. It seemed like both Helena and Navya were at the winnowing stage with a lot of their friends; it was time to let go of the casual acquaintances and focus on fewer real friends. All this was a monologue in his head as he sat and listened to them.

“What do you think?”

Navya caught him daydreaming.

“About what?”

“Come on Andrew, what we have been talking about.”

He quickly explained the difference between his school life, post cancer, and what they seemed to have experienced.

“I consciously decided that I was going to be my own person and stop worrying about what other people thought of me. I did that when I was still 13 and because of that I had a limited number of friends in school. I was friendly but was not necessarily a friend. Plus I studied all the time and so I never tried to fit in. I have half a dozen really close friends from my time at school but only three of them were at my school. So when I go home I don’t have to worry about running into this whole gaggle of former classmates. I didn’t drink, at least with them, and I wasn’t a team jock, I was the quintessential nerd, studied all the time but lucky to have a couple of great friends that were girls. I suppose I am not very trusting and in a lot of ways difficult to get to know. My closest friends don’t know everything about me. I have been accused of being secretive and it is probably true.”

Helena managed to get in first.

“Why Andrew? You seem to be a perfectly normal guy.”

He wasn’t sure that was a statement or a question so as usual just shrugged. Navya’s stomach rumbled really loudly which distracted them and they went in search of the café but the questioning resumed once they were sitting eating.

“There are no exact parallels between us but the biggest difference, at least as it seems to me, is that I was not popular before I was sick and I went out of my way to keep most people at arm’s length when I returned. So the thinning of people who are not really friends but who you were friendly with, it doesn’t really apply to me. I do mostly think about the present and the future rather than returning to things from my past. But that is driven by a lot of things, my nature and temperament, my inherent shyness as well as my experiences from school. The way you have described it, you were both more popular at school than I was, or maybe a better way to express that is that you both tried harder than I did at school meaning that you have more of a transition to deal with now. The other thing is that you both played a role when you were at school and you are also dealing with that transition on top of everything else.”

“Played a role? How do you mean?”

They both spoke over each other with the same question.

“You have talked about it Navya, playing the dutiful Indian daughter, trying to make the family proud by making something of your life while also not changing too much and being a typical Indian young woman.”

Helena just raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

“Helena, think back to when you arrived at College six months ago. Did you honestly think that the two people you would hang out the most with were Navya and me? You relaxed and were yourself as soon as your family left. And now you are changing. In a lot of ways it is not a big deal, it would be more concerning if we didn’t change.”

“Why are you so level headed and matter of fact about it? Doesn’t it scare you, bother you a bit?”

Andrew shook his head and paused to find the right words. In the end he was blunt.

“Not at all. I survived cancer and am alive while my friend Faith has been dead for more than five years. Why would I be scared?”

As he knew it would, that bucket of cold water stopped them in their tracks.

“I know that was too blunt but it defines a lot of who I am. I have no idea what I am going to do when I graduate, other than I am thinking about trying for a commission in the Territorial Army. I am going to be an engineer but doing what, in what field and where are all a mystery to me. But in the meantime, I am going to enjoy life, try and be a good friend and have fun.”

Looking back on this it was typical teenage angst, none of them were yet 19, and they were starting to become their own people, rather than their parent’s children. At the time Andrew was probably the furthest along that path but as he had just stated it was not as if he had a clue where he was going. Helena was a blank slate, less parental pressure and she, like him, had no idea what she was going to do upon graduation. And Navya had all of the same issues as Helena and Andrew but layered on top of that was parental and community expectations.

The rest of the afternoon passed but their conversations took a more light-hearted turn, just three students wiling away a rainy afternoon. Andrew arranged to meet them at the same time the next day, the same routine at Baker Street and they would head back into town. He had wondered whether they would stay out for drinks and dinner that evening but Navya would not let him buy her dinner again and he knew she was careful with her money so did not push it. In a way it worked out well for him as it allowed him to spend a bit of time with Freya and Jim.

Over dinner, a simple chicken salad, Freya told Andrew that she had dropped off his application. He should hear within two weeks if he was selected for an interview which would be there in London, pretty straightforward for him to attend without too much disruption to his classes or studying.

“Andrew, do you know when your exams are scheduled?”

“It has not been posted yet but for the last five years it has always been between the 5^th and 14^th of June, Thursday, Friday and then Monday, Tuesday. I doubt it will change. Can I ask why?”

“I am trying to plan the wedding and we wanted your dates and availability. Together with those of Moira and Lars they will be key to arranging the ceremony.”

“I had assumed it would be over the summer, I didn’t realise that you were thinking about having it so soon.”

“We have both been married before and so do not need a large formal occasion. We are hoping for the middle of May.”

“Well my last day of classes is the 23^rd so the weekend after would be perfect but I can do any weekend before that. After that I need to study and so it would be a month later before I could come back down. Is that too restrictive?”

“No, it is the same as Moira and Lars, they too would prefer earlier to later. I will talk to the Minister on Sunday after the service.”

It is moments like then that caught Andrew unawares sometimes, even although he had all the information. You don’t give a bride away at a registry office wedding and so when he had agreed to give Freya away at her wedding it never occurred to him that it would involve walking down the aisle in a church. Andrew had all the facts he just didn’t complete the picture. He tried to hide his surprise. The conversation moved on and Andrew rather forgot about the wedding. Ultimately the wedding did not happen that spring as they hoped but at the end of the summer. Jim and Freya were happy to see him home but surprised that he had not stayed out with his friends.

“I did ask if they wanted to have dinner in the city before heading back but they decided to head home. I quietly offered to buy dinner but I didn’t force it. One thing I see at College is the different financial backgrounds of people, some obvious and some more subtle. I don’t throw my money around, in fact no one at university knows that I have any money, but I also don’t have to stop and think about whether I can afford to do something. I don’t mind getting a round in, even if not everyone returns it. I never ask my friends about their cash situation so on occasions like today I don’t force it.”

“I understand and you, as usual, seem to be sensible and considerate about it. Would your friends want to have dinner with Jim and me tomorrow evening?”

Freya did not seem pushy yet at the same time seemed keen on the idea.

“I don’t know to be honest. I am meeting Navya and Helena at 10.00 as usual and then am meeting Rupashi, Navya’s sister in the afternoon. Yet another lawyer that I know, although this one is just finishing at Jesus.”

Andrew smiled as Jim scoffed at him.

“Nothing wrong with knowing some lawyers Andrew. Just look at how Mhairi Connelly has helped you, and Julian and Leslie.”

“I know, I was kidding. Mhairi has been fantastic to us and for us. I remember her face the first time she met me, 14 years old and angry at the world. I’ll never forget her look when I got annoyed at Julian Strong’s firm and doubled the quote, I don’t think she envisioned still working with us four years later.”

Jim had heard the story and was laughing but Freya had not so Jim, a natural storyteller, recounted the tale in a highly exaggerated fashion.

“Julian’s father called you on Boxing Day?”

Andrew nodded.

“And you really made them pay twice what you originally quoted?”

“Yes. They were totally boxed in, remember this was more than four years ago. There just weren’t a lot of people doing what we offered and those that were around were very busy. That has been the whole secret to how our computer companies made money. Speed and timeliness. They had spent £40,000 or more on the hardware but the installation was shocking. We were able to unlock that value. It was the same with all the software we developed. Pretty good right now, and able to add value to your business, as opposed to perfect at some undefined time in the future. This was just the start. Although it took Julian’s dad a few days to be able to talk to me. He was steaming mad, both at himself but especially the arrogant clown they sent to negotiate, and when I called him on it he was pissed. That December was my first dealings with lawyers and I have spoken to one pretty much every month since.”

Andrew tried to sound sad at this. Jim just laughed.

“Mhairi was a newly qualified lawyer who had recently finished articling, I think that is what it is called.”

Jim nodded.

“So she got dumped with me the 14 year old with delusions of grandeur. Four years later she is friends with a Law Lord and other partners are angling to get in on our work.”

Jim was laughing again.

“I heard that you slapped Mungo down pretty hard on that. Mhairi has done well for you although she would be the first to tell you that she was in the right place at the right time.”

“Oh I know that. But there is an acceptance of who I am, who the three of us are, that comes across with her. I don’t think she has ever patronised me in all my dealings with her. How much of that is due to the incident we just told Freya about I don’t know but she has been supportive and helpful, made great suggestions and between her and Creighton sorted out the continually evolving mess that the computer business grew into. Did you know we had an Isle of Man company? It helped with tax on the sales to Germany apparently but what 17 year old has an Isle of Man company? I still don’t fully understand why we had one in the first place.”

Andrew shook his head in wonder.

“Did you not want a male lawyer at some point Andrew?”

Freya looked intrigued.

“Why?”

“A lot of men prefer dealing with men, they have an attitude that women are not as good as them.”

Andrew almost recoiled.

“Wow. Is that really what life has been like in the Civil Service?”

It was Freya’s turn to blush but she held his gaze.

“For many years it was, although it is gradually getting better.”

“The most influential person in my life has been Leslie. She guided me through my teenage high school years. So although I have seen and still do see the attitude that you talk about, I have never really thought that way.”

Andrew stopped and reflected.

“I think if I had that attitude Leslie would be disappointed, in fact I know that she would be upset, and I would never want to disappoint or upset her. It is also due to my parents I think. We have our issues obviously, but they have no prejudices, neither gender nor race. And Dad was remote to me for a long time and clearly prefers Rowan so I did not get a lot of father son time where he could impress his views upon me. So no, it never occurred to me to ask for a change. My lawyer is a woman and my accountant is a man, it is what it is. For me it is much more about liking and respecting the person and being able to work well together. Doug Somers is another one. He is a hard-edged cranky man but he and Leslie get on like she is his daughter. She does most of the day to day dealing with him and it works perfectly.

“Returning to the original starting point of this discussion, I am meeting Rupashi at the SE lion in Trafalgar Square at 2.00. She wants to talk and needs a break from studying. Helena and Navya are going shopping and we are meeting up at 4.30 at a pub at the top of Whitehall near the square, the Silver something.”

“The Silver Cross?”

“Probably, it is on the left as you look down Whitehall from the square.”

“That is the one. Perfect. I am a member of the Civil Service Club which is just around the corner from there. We could have dinner there, all six of us if you think your friends would be okay with that.”

Freya looked hopeful.

“I’m sorry, I did not bring any decent clothes with me, all my suits are at College.”

Freya pursed her lips.

“That will be an issue, it is shirt and tie for men and nothing that Jim has will fit you. Oh well, another time. We can still have dinner somewhere.”

Freya clearly wanted to meet his friends.

“We will wait for you in Silver Cross or would you like us to walk down to meet you in Parliament Square?”

Jim had a gleam in his eye which was starting to disconcert Andrew.

“No I think that we will meet you in the pub. Do you think that your friend, Rupashi am I saying that right?” Andrew nodded. “Would Rupashi want to meet me and talk about the law?”

His smile gave him away.

“You want me to ambush Rupashi by not telling her who you are until she meets you?”

“Ambush sounds so unkind Andrew. Unexpectedly introduce sounds so much more dignified.”

They both laughed at that one.

“I was going to introduce you when you arrived. You were not going to be Mr. and Mrs. X when you came in.”

“I know that Andrew, but I was meaning introduce me at my place of work.”

Andrew sat there and caught flies with an open mouth for several seconds, Jim and Freya smiling at him the whole time.

“You want me to come to Parliament?”

“It is where I work.”

“Let me get this right, you want me to bring my law student friend, less than four weeks away from writing her final exams at Cambridge, and introduce you to her at the Houses of Parliament?”

“What is the point of being a Law Lord if you cannot occasionally enjoy the privilege? I will show her the Chamber, it is always empty on a Friday, and introduce her to any of my colleagues that are there.”

Freya butted in here.

“In fact Andrew, if you dropped your friend off with Jim we could meet up while Jim shows her round Parliament and you and I could chat, just the two of us.”

Andrew was tempted to look up. There clearly was an anvil falling towards him from a great height.

“So I am going to abandon poor Rupashi with Jim for an hour while you and I ‘chat’.”

Andrew shook his head and laughed.

“Both she and I will need that drink by the end of the afternoon.”

It was all set, Andrew would meet Jim in the Central Lobby of the Houses of Parliament at 3.30 with Rupashi and then leave them and go back up Whitehall and meet Freya at 3.45 at the south end of the Ministry of Defence building. If it was dry then they would walk and talk, if raining then find a café and talk. Clearly the talking part was not optional.

“I know this all sounds fun and light hearted but is it fair to Rupashi? You are one of the most senior judges in the country and she is still a law student.”

Jim turned serious and looked at him keenly.

“It will be a good test for her Andrew. I am not going to ask her to give me the facts from famous cases or try and trip her up, rather she will get the chance to talk to me, see the highest court in the land, and possibly meet some other judges. She can be overawed and quiet and it will do her no harm but she also has the chance, just as Mhairi had, to make an impression. I met Mhairi the first time as a result of the introduction at your party but the three other times were because she has a fine mind and an interesting, younger perspective.”

Sometimes it was easy to forget this was a man who knew how to play the game. Andrew was sure his transparent face gave away all his thoughts as he took all this in.

“It is her moment Andrew, and there is nothing that you can do, say or prepare her for. I will see through all that. Let me do a nice thing for one of your friends and let her make the most of it, or not, as the case may be.”

Andrew lay in bed that night thinking about the following day. Rupashi was going to be so mad at him. The next morning he ran round Regent’s Park as normal thinking about the upcoming day. What surprised him was that he was now much less worried about the first half of the afternoon with Rupashi than he was about the second. Andrew must have looked a complete fool as he ran round the Outer Circle with a dopey grin on his face. The mood was contagious though as both Jim and Freya were in a playful mood when he returned to their flat. Jim would be in the Central Lobby at 3.30 to meet Rupashi and Freya would be waiting for Andrew 15 minutes later at the Ministry of Defence. With the plan in place they left together as usual heading off into the city.

Andrew had no recollection of what Helena, Navya and he talked about that morning, none at all. He thought at the time they assumed he was worried about the conversation with Rupashi and even Navya wasn’t too much of a shit to him. As they saw Rupashi come out of the Tube station the pair of them left with a final confirmation that they would meet in the Silver Cross, which Andrew could see from where he was standing, any time after 4.30. Rupashi looked tired, with an aura of sadness that made him question what was planned was fair to her. They hugged and Andrew could feel the tension radiating off her. It was cold and blustery, although not raining, and they starting walking side by side. At first, they walked in silence and were on the Mall before Rupashi starting talking.

“It shouldn’t feel this awkward, should it?”

“Too much of a build-up, too much egging on from a little sister.”

They both snorted at that.

“How are you? It is nearly over, are you feeling confident?”

The first 15 minutes were slow, but gradually they returned to the more comfortable rhythm of their previous conversations. The familiar of studying and the worry of exams was something that all students could relate to and it allowed them to get going before starting to talk about the more intractable stuff. But trust the lawyer to come at it from a different perspective.

“If we had decided to go out would you have given up other women for me Andrew?”

Well then, called on his sluttiness! Andrew paused rather than blurt out the first thing that came to mind.

“It would depend if we had agreed to be exclusive or not Rupashi.”

“Can you give up all your lady friends to focus on a girlfriend?”

Her face was neutral and he couldn’t read where on earth she was going with this. So he was honest.

“I think I will always have friends who are women, so anyone that I date will have to be secure enough to deal with that. But if you mean can I be faithful to one person, my immediate answer is to say of course. But I also know that other than a celibate two months when I was 16 I have never had an exclusive relationship. I would hate to be a cheater but I have no experience of an exclusive sexual relationship.”

They continued walking as she thought about this.

“I have always tried to be honest with all of the women I have gone out with, platonic or sexual. I would like to think I have never misled anyone.”

The sigh was long and deep.

“Oh I know Andrew, that is the problem. You have never promised one thing and done something else. You and I could have been like you and Helena this year if I had allowed myself. Friendly and supportive, someone to enjoy university life with, while at the same time allowing me, and I supposed us, to grow and explore who we are.”

Very discreetly worded.

“I know you never talk about any of this, even although you also know that Helena and Navya talk about it and Helena has gushed on about you to several other people, myself included.”

Andrew tried to keep a calm countenance but was sure he was failing.

“I know, you are not going to say a word, we all know that. That’s just it Andrew, you are so safe.”

She was on a roll now.

“I am so confused by everything. I want you so badly but I don’t know if I want you the person or if I want what you represent, this safe man to let me explore who I am.

“My mother has managed to condition me way more than she has managed with Navya, I am a 21 year old virgin, in serious lust with one of my little sister’s friends but I can’t bring myself to take that final step. How fucked up is that?”

When you lay it out like that there is not a lot you can say. Andrew squeezed her hand and led Rupashi over to a park bench. They had turned into St. James Park and on that raw Spring day it was deserted.

“There is nothing I can say that is going to change the person that you are. You are stuck, no longer completely Indian in your outlook on life but still anchored in that community. All I can say is that there are probably lots of guys in exactly the same place as you are. So embrace what your mother is trying to do but do it on your terms. London is way more diverse than Cambridge is, and light years ahead of Scotland. Be open to finding someone who appeals to you, is suitable to your mother and most importantly, is not a mamma’s boy.”

Ru snorted so loud she clapped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

“Exactly. Be who you are, find the right person for you from the community and remember this conversation when your daughter brings home my son.”

Rupashi cried for a long time but Andrew had no idea if it was sad, happy or sheer relief. Probably all three. She pulled him up and they started walking again and he waited for her to talk.

“Thank you Andrew. I promise to be a good mother-in-law to your son.”

They both laughed and she tucked her arm in his as they walked along, close and intimate but there was no tension between them.

“Now all I have to do is find this bloody unicorn.”

The next 20 minutes were all Rupashi talking about the different ways of dealing with this, not really asking his opinion but just having the chance to talk it through out loud, think about it but also hear it herself. A lot was strategies for dealing with her mother but they were her problems and Andrew had no way of knowing what would work or not so let her talk herself out. At 3.15 they were in Parliament Square and Rupashi finally got out of her head and looked around.

“Why are we here? Do you want to see the Abbey?”

“No, I want to go into Parliament.”

“Why?”

“If you can wait 10 minutes I will show you.”

Like that answer was going to satisfy a woman. Even the policeman checking bags laughed at him as they went through security but at 3.27 they walked through St. Stephen’s Hall and into the Central Lobby. Andrew spotted Jim talking to another older gentleman. He saw them and excused himself and came over.

“Andrew, punctual as ever.”

Rupashi was looking at Andrew like he had two heads. Time to spring the trap.

“Rupashi, this is Lord Barnes, one of the Law Lords and a friend and mentor. Lord Barnes, this is Rupashi Rai one of my good friends from Cambridge.”

Have you ever seen an Indian woman turn pale? Andrew thought she was going to faint. Jim was the perfect gentleman and Rupashi recovered quickly.

“Please excuse Andrew, and don’t think too badly of him for unexpectedly introducing us.”

Ambushing was so much more accurate.

“He mentioned that you were reading law at Jesus and so I asked him to bring you here. It is one of the nice perks of the job when you can perform a small kindness for a friend.”

The slightly archaic speech was perfect and Jim was the perfect gentleman.

“Come let me show you where we work. I think a couple of the others are still here. We will meet Andrew at the pub in an hour or so. You will want a drink by then I am sure.”

And with his arm on her elbow he gracefully led her away. Andrew stood there for a second watching Rupashi’s reaction. Just before they disappeared up the stairs she looked back over her shoulder at him. Her expression was still mainly one of shock although worryingly there was definitely an air of ‘we will talk about this later’ on her face as well. Ten minutes later Freya took his arm in exactly the same way as Rupashi had and led him through Horseguards back towards the Park.

“How did Rupashi cope?”

Her tone was light and playful.

“I think she was still in shock although there were definitely hints of ‘we’ll talk about this later’ on her face as well.”

That was a preview of Living Two Lives - Book 11. To read the rest purchase the book.

Add «Living Two Lives - Book 11» to Cart