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Living Two Lives - Book 7



Chapter 1

They woke up the next morning, stuck to the sheets and to each other. Andrew kissed Suzanne and they managed to separate without losing too much hair. They were gentle in the shower cleaning each other, there was absolutely no chance of any more action, they were both too sore and tender. Andrew dried her in his arms smiling down on the gloriously curvy creature that was Suzanne Jenner.

“Stop smiling at me like that, I ache everywhere you beast.”

They went back into the room and the smell of sex hit them.

“Wow, no hiding what went on in here then.”

The sheets were revolting, all sticky and stained. Heaven help the poor maid that had to clean the room. Once they were dressed, Andrew gave Suzanne the car key and told her he would be right there. One of them at the counter checking out would be suspicious enough but the two of them would raise questions best left unasked. He settled up and escaped without a fuss and caught up with Suzanne at the car. There was a nice little café at Haymarket where he was able to park the car and they sat and had breakfast and finally talked about the previous night.

“Thank you for everything last week. You have relieved a burden that was eating away at me. I missed being honest with you and Leslie most of all. As Leslie said, in many ways you know me better now.”

“I am glad that you feel back to your usual self. You had a lot of pent up energy that you needed to release last night.”

She smiled and blushed prettily.

“You did some things to me that we need to investigate further, as well.”

Andrew blushed as well and raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that, it was your finger and you knew where you were sticking it.”

His blush deepened and she laughed.

“Exactly. Bad Andrew. Talking of being bad, you were so you last night. Medium smacks, a nice sting but let’s stop at two because we haven’t talked about it. You would not have done any more if I hadn’t suggested the other 10. I am not sure how I feel about all that but it is something that we will need to investigate further.”

There was no blush this time just a look of determination.

“But I am talking around the main point. When I asked you to unleash on me, to let your passion wild, what did you do? Made love to way in such a blatant and erotic fashion it makes me tingle all over just to think about it. You could not have said thank you any better or any louder. When you asked me if I was on the pill, I was thrown. You always wear condoms and for me, for us, to fuck skin to skin for the first time was totally magical. So many different things that you did to completely shower me with passion. The look in your eyes that first time, it is making me wet just thinking about it.”

“You deserved it, everything that I did, I did deliberately. Including taking you one last time when you were semi-comatose. I am sorry about that.”

“Stop it, when I saw the look in your eyes and I could feel the lust radiating from your body I wanted you one more time. I knew right then that we were going for the big finale.”

Breakfast arrived and they ate ravenously having failed to have any dinner the previous evening. On the drive back to her house Suzanne asked an unsettling question.

“Are you going to go and see Ara?”

“Em, I don’t think so. There has been no contact for two months and I think it is best to accept that I let her down and move on. I don’t know whether she is in town and I don’t want the door slammed in my face if she is. In three months she will be heading south and then we will pass on the motorway at the end of the summer going in opposite directions. I wish that I had done things differently with her but our whole relationship has been nothing but misunderstandings from the start.”

“I see all that I suppose. Okay then.”

Suzanne let it drop almost too quickly. Since she was supposed to be at Leslie’s Andrew dropped her off at the end of the street. He got out of the car and gave her a hug and murmured a final word of thanks in her ear. Andrew watched Suzanne sashay down the street and when she turned to check he was still looking, like there would be any doubt, she smiled and waved.

He only had time to get his bass before he had to head straight back into town for his rearranged Food Bank session. His parents, thinking he had crashed at Julian’s, did not question what he had been up to. As usual. By the time he got to the Campbells after the last rehearsal he was dragging. Mary and Brian were pleased to see him, after four years of coming for Sunday dinner they were a second set of parents to him, and Brian especially was a business mentor to all three of them. It was nice to catch up with them after two months of absence. The polite fiction of being busy on his studies was both accepted as well as understood to be a lie. Leslie had been antsy all dinner and after they had helped clean up dragged him through to her room.

“What did you do to that poor woman?”

“You know me Leslie. I tried to tell her how much she meant to me and went over the top as usual.”

“I cried when she told me what you did, you really are a big old romantic. Mixed in with a complete beast obviously.”

“You should have seen and smelled the room this morning, that poor maid.”

It was a short, light conversation but the weeks of absence vanished and all was well with the world. He and Suzanne met to swim as usual, although at 8.00 rather than 7.15, they were on break after all. Warm up for them both took a while but Andrew swam for an hour, Suzanne for 45 minutes and they were in the lobby at 9.10.

“I needed that, although everything ached for most of it.”

She was not wrong.

“I know. I felt worse this morning than I did yesterday. I was an arthritic old man on my run.”

Over breakfast they chatted normally and then Andrew ran her home. The first couple of days of the break followed the same pattern, a long swim followed by full days of studying. On the Wednesday evening of that first week of the break, Gail Robertson called to take him up on his offer from the first term.

“Do you have any plans for Saturday night Andrew?”

“None at all Gail. Would you like to go out, see a movie, dinner? What?”

“Could we have dinner and chat please Andrew?”


As she lived on the route into the city from his parents’ house Andrew agreed to pick her up at 7.00 on Saturday night. He had no idea what Gail wanted for the next three months and revelled in the fact he didn’t really care. You can be a horny teenager as much as you want but opportunities are limited. He studied at the Central Library on the Thursday and had his final bass lesson before the concert three days away. Andrew was a competent double bass player, but had not played in an orchestra for many years. Continuing his bass playing after the end of April was one of the things he would have to decide about. He couldn’t see him taking his double bass all the way to Cambridge for instance.

Friday was the Good Friday holiday and so all the pools were closed. Andrew ran longer in the morning and then settled down to study as usual. All five of his exams were scheduled during the weeks of May 16th and 23rd, that meant he had six weeks of studying left. The last week of the Easter break, three weeks at school and then two weeks of study leave. This was the last day he was looking at any Open University material until June. His manic February and March meant he had submitted all of the modules for the penultimate course and was only waiting for the grades on the final two. His project was on track but he would still need a productive June to get it completed and ready to present to the Computer Science faculty.

Friday nights were still full of memories of Ara, and although things were getting back to a more balanced existence, Suzanne’s words of the previous Sunday kept coming back to him. As Andrew sat at his desk, backing up all his project material, he contemplated doing as Suzanne suggested and going over to Ara’s flat and trying to talk to her. By thinking about it, he knew he was weakening and that sometime in the next week he would be standing at her door, his heart in his throat, waiting to see if she was even there, and if she would talk to him. He didn’t know whether the prospect scared him or not. Then the phone rang.

For one serendipitous moment he was sure that it was Ara for him and when his dad shouted that it was for him Andrew all but ran down the hall. Never had he been more disappointed to hear Julian’s voice than he was at that moment. Once the vision of Ara in a swimsuit and braids faded from his brain Andrew focused on what Julian was saying. It wasn’t much actually, other than he asked if Andrew could come over to his parent’s place in the morning. When he got there Andrew saw Leslie’s car in the street as well so it was going to be business. Julian senior opened the door and led him through to the study. Julian and Leslie were sitting there already.

“Thanks for coming, I know that that you all are busy with classes and studying so I will get to the point. Several members of the club, myself included, have decided to invest in a distillery.”

He meant members of the Murrayfield Golf Club, one of the exclusive private clubs in Edinburgh.

“Julian was telling me about your decision to invest together, to do something for the local economy. He asked me if I was aware of any ideas, any businesses looking for investment, so here we are. I will tell you what we plan to do and then leave you to decide if you want to look at it further.

“First of all, and you need to be fully aware of this, it will be a risky venture. There have been six distilleries close already this year and there is a lot of talk of more closing, a lot more. That is where we are getting a lot of our equipment, from distilleries that are closing down.”

Andrew sat there unsure about this. Distilleries were closing and Mr. Strong wanted to build one. Hmmm.

“It will cost at least £1.5m and no one will see any money for at least 10 years. Half the money will be needed up front for construction of the buildings and the installation of all the equipment. The rest, and this is the part that may increase, is for the annual operating costs until we have whisky available for sale. That is the 10 years part.”

They all sat there absorbing these sobering facts.

“We decided to budget for £2m to make sure that we the operating budget to see this through. 20 shares of £100,000 with half needed immediately. I have 15 people signed up already, including me.”

He paused here and looked expectantly at the three of them. Leslie obliged.


“Cutting to the chase as usual. Three reasons. We disagree with the decision to close the distilleries, both from a heritage point of view and a business point of view. Some of the closures do not seem to make sense except to a large corporation based who knows where. Sadly the largest of these companies is based just down the street, The Distillers Company. We think there is a market for malt whisky and we are modelling the business after Wm. Grant. Finally, we should acknowledge that there is a large amount of vanity and ego attached to this as well. It appeals to us to know that we own a distillery.”

Leslie grilled Julian senior for more than an hour mainly about why they thought there was a market when so many others in the industry disagreed and were closing facilities. Julian and Andrew were happy to sit quietly and let Rottweiler Campbell to do the interrogating and when his dad left the room Julian laughed.

“I think Dad is off to start sampling the inventory. Good work making him explain this to us. So, what do you think?”

Andrew thought about it.

“Seems like a lot of money, a lot of risk and not much employment, but it does provide some employment in a rural area. What is the outcome though? It gets funded and produces a nice whisky people want to buy, so we make some money. Don’t we want to do more?”

The conversation went on along those lines for more than an hour. They had not yet done any investments with CMS and the issue was not the money but more the overall concept. Still, at the end of the day it provided new employment in northern Scotland so they agreed to fund one share. As it turned out they were the 16th and last investor. Mhairi looked over the deal but there were seven lawyers among the investors so it was clear and straightforward. They also did not invest until the Monday after Andrew’s 18th birthday to avoid any issues with him not being an adult, but the decision was made that day. It made him think back to the house and the Ferrari, other assets he owned but that he had not seen very much of. This figured to be the same thing. They made the decision and then it quickly faded from their minds as they got caught up in their studies. As with a lot of things in his life though, when Leslie finally graduated changes started to happen. But there was a year of calm first.

Andrew had not been out with someone new in a long time, more than a year in fact. He had no idea about Gail’s expectations of their nights out. This was going to be a short term thing given that he was less than six months from heading off to Cambridge. Andrew drove down to her house and mentally gathered himself on the doorstep to meet her parents. He was asked in, not unexpectedly, and he stood and spoke to both her parents for 10 minutes before their dinner reservation let them escape. Andrew recognised them from hockey games but had not spoken to them as he tried not to speak to many parents, he left that to Mrs. Martin. Gail’s father did acknowledge that Andrew had done the right thing by waiting until hockey was over before going out with Gail. Now that Andrew had the car he was much more open to trying new restaurants and that night they were eating at a Moroccan restaurant, unsurprisingly the only one in town, which was popular with students from the University. Given they were away, Andrew had been able to get a reservation without any problem.

“Thank you for agreeing to go out.”

Gail seemed very young and eager, even although she was already 17 and for the next couple of months they were the same age. This was the very first time Andrew had gone out with someone from a lower year than him. Ever since Kenzie it had always been women in his year or above.

“You don’t have to thank me Gail. You have seen me at hockey, you know what I am like.”

She was tense and eager to please and Andrew could see most of the meal was going to be about relaxing her. He remembered her comment about exam stress.

“When we spoke back in the autumn you mentioned that you suffered from nerves around exams. Are you concerned about your Highers?”

“I always get nervous before exams, even although I seem to do okay. I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to exams.”


“I worry about failing. No rational reason for it, I just think about the worst outcome and then worry about it. Kate Maxwell mentioned that you had been very helpful for her last year, helping keep her calm. I was wondering if you could try the same thing with me.”

This was tutoring rather than dating, listening to Gail for 20 minutes a night for the next couple of months would not be too onerous.

“Sure, I will be happy to help. What I found was that Kate just needed someone to listen to her, to let the stress release. We talked most nights during May last year and I will be happy to help you in whatever way that works. Remember that I have five exams I need to study for as well but I will have time to talk to you even during the exam weeks.”

Gail’s smile threatened to split her face.

“I knew that you would help me, thank you.”

It was as if the business part of the night had been dealt with, because flirty, touchy, giggly Gail burst out and the rest of the night was fun, full of innuendo and frank, dirty talk. Andrew had no idea what her sexual experience level was, but she sure was talking a good game. But as with all these evenings, the opportunity to take things any farther did not exist. Other than holding hands on the walk to the car and some serious snogging outside her house nothing happened. Some things never changed.

The next night, Easter Sunday 1983, Andrew was standing at the back of the Green Room under the stage of the Usher Hall. He had played there as a member of the school orchestra at the Christmas concert all the way back in 1st year. His memories of that night were vague, too long ago and he was too overawed by the occasion. Since then he had barely played as part of any group of musicians, regardless of size. He was not even sure that Ford’s replacement as music teacher knew he played double bass, and if he did there had been no contact from him. So Andrew was nervous, which only got worse as he heard the choir start to assemble in the wings and then fill in the choral gallery above his head. Then it was their turn and the orchestra seated themselves and tuned up. Fiona had found one additional player so there were four of them and Andrew was happy to be fourth, seated in the back corner. When you are over 6’ tall you get used to being at the back, and as he had shot past that he instinctively moved to the back in all group settings.

Once the concert started Andrew’s nerves fell away as he concentrated on what was, he thought, the most beautiful piece of classical music ever written. The first three movements flowed and then it was time for the most sublime movement in orchestral music, the 4th movement of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, when the choir and solo singers join the orchestra. Andrew had no recollection of that 25 minutes period, it seemed to be over in a flash and he was standing with the rest of the orchestra as the audience applauded. He could recall so much of his life so it was odd that the most intense moments were the ones he often struggled to remember, such as the moments of that night. As he went back on stage after the end of the concert to put the cover on his bass Andrew reflected that four years of double bass lessons for little reason had been worth it for that one night.

He floated along rather than swam the next morning. Suzanne laughed and called him a romantic and a big old softie which he happily agreed was true. Of course Andrew gave her a big hug and reminded her that not all of him was such a softie, leaving her flustered and blushing. He was horny just holding her in his arms.

“Vanessa going to be away any days this week?”

“Why, would you like to come over and study?”

The epitome of studiousness and innocence.

“No, you saucy wench. I want to come over and unleash a passionate ravishing leaving you sweaty and cum filled.”

Her hand flew to her mouth.


He smirked and kissed her.

“Don’t ‘Andrew’ me. You are as bad as I am.”

He stroked her thigh the whole way home and sent her on her way all hot and bothered.

No sooner had they decided to invest in the distillery project with Julian’s dad than Doug Somers asked to meet them to talk through another investment proposal. Doug wanted them to buy and convert a building near the University, an old garage. It was half way between the two campuses of Edinburgh University. His plan was to create a small office building where companies and individuals that they invested in could get a start, particularly spin offs from the University. He had laid it out as a series of two-person offices and four-person offices with a conference room and a staffed reception. That was to be the ground floor, while on the first floor, with a completely separate entrance, would be the offices of the Trust, the venture company and their personal businesses. Leslie spent time with him going through the financial aspects of it, then told Andrew and Julian that it was it made sense so they went ahead. Leslie and Creighton were more and more taking over the business and financial aspects of their companies and he and Julian trusted them. For instance Andrew had no clue which company or companies owned this building it was just their office building.

But such mundane business decisions vanished from his mind at the end of the week. Andrew plucked up the courage and decided to try and see Ara on the Friday evening. The symmetry appealed to him, so he went swimming at the end of the day as they used to. He swam slowly that night, he had already been at Warrender that morning. There was no sign of Ara there but then again, he didn’t really expect to see her. Andrew drove to her flat and despite trying to remain calm, could feel his heart beating faster. There was no buzzer system so he stood in front of her door, paused for a second but then knocked. The moment of truth. When the door opened it was not Ara, it was Gwen her flatmate.

“Hi, is Ara home?”

Andrew saw Gwen scrutinise him before answering.

“No, she is out with her boyfriend.”

Gwen failed to hide her smirk of satisfaction at getting to drop that news on him.

“Okay, thanks anyway.”

The horse was dead, stop flogging it.

“Wait, don’t you want to leave her a message?”

“You already passed on her message. There is no reply.”

Andrew turned and left, ignoring Gwen’s entreaties to wait, and sat in his car for a few moments composing himself. Oh well.


Chapter 2

Knowing that Ara had moved on buried the final vestige of Andrew’s winter freak out. He knew it was his own fault and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That within six months they were going to be hundreds of miles apart also meant he had no plans for trying to alter the current situation. It was a different set of circumstances but the outcome was the same as Allison; Andrew had let her down. But he had done all his self-recrimination over the last two months so he accepted she was done with him and moved on.

During the winter Maggie was one of the people Andrew had not seen. They had spoken on the phone a couple of times but between his manic studying and the first flush of new love with her and Tony, they had not chatted in person yet that year. Right at the start of his final term they met for their usual late afternoon cup of coffee.

“It has been more than three months, everything okay?”

“I got behind with school work and the whole term just went by in a blur of studying. I am fine, how are you doing?”

Andrew could see her smile widen.

“Oh I couldn’t be better. More than a bit head over heels to be honest.”

“Not with Tony Brown surely?”

He dodged back to avoid her whack. She was laughing with him.

“Yes, you cheeky bastard. And don’t call me Shirley.”

In the mythological rankings of the perfect girlfriend a nymphomaniac whose father owns a brewery was only just ahead of a nude model that could quote Airplane.

“And to think I had missed you.”

They settle back down and Maggie brought the conversation round to her modelling.

“I was hoping that you would still photograph me. Will you?”

“Saying something like ‘are you sure?’ sounds patronising. But I can’t think of anything else so tell me why you want me to photograph you?”

“Tony and I have done lots of shoots together, both in the studio and outside. I nearly froze my arse off over the winter. And they were great. But the naughtiness of it only went so far. It comes back to why I model. It excites me to pose naked for men. I like to show off, I like to be naughty, and I like to have this secret life. Posing for Tony is private. I need a more, posing for someone else. I want the naughtiness but I also want to be happy and comfortable with the photographer. He understands this and is fully supportive. Just as I get a kick out of posing, he gets a kick out of seeing me pose.”

Andrew didn’t have to think, even for a second.

“Okay. I am flattered that you picked me. Do you want to shoot at the studio or outdoors?”

“Outdoors please. Tony will help carry all your stuff and keep a general lookout for trouble. Assuming that I don’t suddenly get all coy and can’t do it, then I am going to start to model again in the studio. Probably smaller groups, guys who aren’t going to give us both crap.”

So the following Saturday Andrew was traipsing along a path in the hills to the south of Edinburgh. They needed torches for the first 20 minutes and it was a hard uphill slog. But it was worth it. They ended up at the top of Torphin Quarry, safely back from the edge. Andrew could see the disused quarry from his parent’s garden, although it was several miles off in the distance. It was a weathered scoop dug out of the side of the hill, a remnant from a bygone age. Access was possible to the top because a golf course ran along the ridge at the top of the quarry. They had climbed the fence and descended 10 feet and so as they started shooting they heard the first golfers of the day tee off being them on the 5th hole.

And Monica loved it. It was the right level of having the thrill of exposure without anyone actually observing the shoot. The golfer’s voices carried clearly in the still early morning chill and every time a group went past Monica visibly. Andrew struggled to define her attitude. She didn’t preen and she didn’t stand up straighter or anything like that. Maybe it was as simple as looking more excited. Overlooked in all this was the fact that the views in the early Spring sunlight were spectacular. Edinburgh was spread out before them although at a much greater distance than from Arthur’s Seat. Andrew’s photograph had won 3rd prize in the competition he had entered in the photography magazine and so Tony worked with him to get a similar erotic but anonymous shot for another competition.

The shot that he ended up submitting was Monica standing three quarters away from him, looking north west. With the rising sun over her right shoulder her face was in shadow but the light highlighted, and at the same time hid, details of her body. The one new feature that was different about this shoot was that Tony had brought along a collapsible reflector that caught the sunlight and lit Monica’s back, bum and legs. Monica was in great shape and so Andrew had her tense different muscles, flexing her butt cheeks, tightening her shoulders, just a whole lot of variations on the theme.

As he was shooting Andrew realised that he was shooting for Monica, and maybe Tony, but he was not shooting for himself. Yes it was nice to get out and practice some creativity but he was providing the first audience for Monica now that she was Tony’s girlfriend. There had been no hesitation about stripping down and it had been three friends working on a project; one of them just happened to be naked. When Andrew had finished three rolls of film Monica came over and hugged and kissed him. He was slightly startled as she was still naked and Tony was right there, but it was the hug and kiss of a friend. As opposed to the hot and heavy make out session she conducted with Tony.

The first shoot had gone well, it was clear that Maggie was not yet done with her Monica the model persona, and Tony had been a willing and involved helper. He was not sullenly sitting off to the side. He had helped pose Monica and held the reflector for Andrew for nearly a whole roll of film. It was an odd circumstance to be in but Andrew just mentally shrugged and didn’t overthink it. A first for him.

Their return from the edge of the quarry was hilarious as they snuck between groups of golfers, spaced out fortunately, but did endure several stares as they went past. Maggie was struggling to stifle her giggles as she was appraised by several groups of middle-aged golfers. Andrew got another hug and a kiss before they left in separate cars with a request to do another shoot as soon as his exams were finished. As a way to clear his head before a period of intense study and exams, it was perfect.

April of 1983 was the start of the end of school for Andrew. He had reviewed and studied all his history notes during the school break and was done with it. He was sitting the exam and would accept the results, it no longer had a place in his academic future. April was all maths; algebra, calculus and mechanics. They reviewed past exams in class and Andrew wrote the last seven years’ worth in the evenings during those three weeks. Even his maths teacher, old Mr. Durrand, told him to relax and Andrew had to laugh, physician heal thyself.

At the end of April classes were over, the future was in his own hands. When Andrew returned it would be to swan around and be a prefect. As he walked out of school he felt someone come up beside him. It was Mary Jones, the Head Girl of the school. He and Mary were in Maths and Physics together and had been in the same classes for all four years. Mary was very smart and she and Andrew got along well especially after breaking up the fight the previous year in the playground. Her only sin, borderline unforgivable in Andrew’s eyes, was that she had applied to Oxford rather than Cambridge.

“Hey Andrew, feels weird to think we aren’t going to get taught here ever again, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, when we come back the Head will have us running around as prefects and I’ll have some final CCF stuff but I don’t know that there will be any need to be here all day, or even come in some days, it is distinctly odd. But given that come October our brains will be mush we should take advantage of the time off.”

“What are your study plans for the next two weeks? You can’t have any Maths left to do surely?”

“Nah, just Physics. One week on the material for the exam and one week on my project ready for the review. How about you?”

“Actually I am the same. I copied your study habits in Maths this month and managed to get through all the exams. Now all I have left is Physics. Do you want to come over and study at mine? I always do better when there is someone to push me. I will play the reviewer and quiz you on your project if you will do the same for me?”

“That’s a good idea. Will your parents be okay with this?”

“They will be at work all day.”

An interesting non-answer.


So the following week Andrew turned up at Mary’s house after swimming. They spread their study material out in the dining room and worked with barely an interruption until well after lunchtime. They sat in the kitchen and ate a sandwich and chatted for the first time all day. Mary looked nervous as they sat and chatted.

“Andrew, can I ask you something?”

“Sure Mary, what?”

“Why did you never ask me out?”

He gawked at her in surprise.

“Eh, I don’t know how to answer that Mary. I have not really asked out many people, and it is only in the last year that I have got better at reading signals. I was clueless for most of 3rd, 4th and 5th year. I used to say that women needed to have a stick to hit me with so that I would know. One woman even did that, grabbed a stick from the ground and tapped me on the head.”

Memories of Ara, sprang unbidden into his head.

“Did you want me to ask you out? Did I miss the signals?”

He was confused.

“I am sorry Andrew. I should not have brought this up.”

“It is not a big deal Mary. You didn’t answer the question.”

“I always wondered when you went out with everyone else in the year why you didn’t go out with me.”

Her frustration was evident. Laughing out loud was a typically insensitive male thing to do.

“Relax, I am not laughing at you, I am laughing at the idea of going out with everyone in the year. I didn’t, not even close to it. Did you think I was deliberately excluding you?”

She nodded.

“Mary, you and I have been classmates for four years. We may not be close friends but we have developed a friendship over that time, particularly since becoming prefects. When did you ever see me deliberately exclude anybody?”

“Oh I don’t know Andrew, I am just a mess with this stuff. Everything I heard about you, the way the girls talked, and the way you never talked, made you into this fantasy figure. I have managed to let my stupid crush ruin everything.”

She started to cry. Fucking hell, he just wanted to study physics.

“Mary, stop it please.”

As with all males of the species Andrew had no idea what to do with a crying female.

“When is your last exam?”

“Same as yours, Mechanics on the 27th, the Friday.”

“Then let’s go out that night. We can go for dinner and watch a movie if you want, or we can find somewhere to walk and chat.”

“I don’t want a pity date Andrew!”

Now she sounded mad.

“It isn’t a pity date, for goodness sake, I don’t even really date. I go out with friends most weekends. Other than Hannah for two months at the start of 5th year I have not dated or had a girlfriend. Just a lot of friends.”

Andrew could see Mary looking at him, evaluating the offer.

“Would you be doing this if I hadn’t brought it up?”

“No, but what does that matter?”

Mary was starting to piss him off.

“Look Mary, I think I am going to go. I need to get some studying done not deal with this.”

He was not feigning anger, all he wanted to do was make sure he knew the Physics material not deal with Mary’s neuroses.

“Andrew, don’t go. Let’s just drop it and focus on physics.”

Inertia won and he decided to stay. As with the morning, having someone else there did seem to make him concentrate harder and the afternoon went by quickly. At 4.45 though Andrew was ushered out, somewhat unceremoniously, and he smiled as he realised that Mary’s parents had no idea of his studying there during the day. At least the rest of the afternoon had also been mercifully drama free. He talked to Gail that evening who acted like Kate’s twin, but 25 minutes later he managed to get her off the phone, a little calmer than when they started.

Tuesday was a dull, boring day with barely a break and nearly eight hours of uninterrupted revision, Andrew’s perfect kind of day. The evening call with Gail was another 20 minutes allowing her to demonstrate ever more ridiculous ways to get worried about nothing. Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday, Andrew had powered through the material and felt confident. He was already ahead of his study plan for the two weeks and so made a snap decision. At 4.15 he looked over at Mary.

“Your revision going well?”

He knew that it was.

“Yes, really well.”

“Good. Go and get changed, we are going out. Write a note to your parents saying you are at the Central Library studying. Go on, don’t look at me like that, go and get changed.”

Mary’s face was a picture, shock and surprise mixed with pleasure. But rather than resist she smiled and rushed off to change. When she came back she was dressed nicely but not too fancy, given that Andrew was in jeans and a tee shirt. They headed out after she wrote the short note and were in the car heading to the south side of town.

“Thanks for not giving me time to think about this.”

“Yeah, when I saw how well we were doing with the studying, I figured we could spare a couple of hours tonight and you seemed to have built this up as a big deal in your mind.”

Mary seemed overly pleased and babbled away on the drive over to the restaurant. Early on a mid-week night meant they had no trouble getting in to Andrew’s favourite Chinese restaurant and after ordering they chatted away. He listened to Mary chatter away, watching her almost preen with pleasure.

“Why is this so important to you Mary?”

“I don’t know, I have built it up in my mind to be a big deal. I can’t explain it.”

Dinner was nice and he and Mary had a fun time but there was something odd about the whole evening. Andrew could not put his finger on it, but it was there. As they walked back to the car Mary seemed happy but distracted. At the car, before she climbed in she pulled him down and kissed him.

“Thank you Andrew.”

When they got to her place, she was off with a cheery ‘see you tomorrow’. Things were clearer the next day but only after Suzanne beat him over the head after swimming!

“Be careful not to lead Mary on Andrew.”

Her opening gambit threw him.

“What? How do you mean?”

“For the smartest man I know, you sure can be dense sometimes.”

The exasperation evident in her voice she carried on.

“Mary called me last night, over the moon that you had taken her out, she was so pleased.”


“Andrew! Bloody hell. The woman has this almighty crush on you and has had it for at least three years. You never noticed?”

“Eh, no.”

Andrew really didn’t think he deserved to be hit but that wasn’t stopping Suzanne.

“You walk around with your head in the clouds, I swear. Try to follow along okay?”

Now she was just being mean.

“Mary had built this up to be a big deal and you fulfilled her dreams for her last night. I know it was just dinner but she was delighted. She said all the right things when I talked to her, knowing that it wasn’t a relationship and that you were leaving in four months, but you should be careful. That’s all.”

“I feel like a prize at the fair.”

“Get over yourself. She is not that different than I was, with self-esteem issues, and she does not have someone like you to help her. Just be nice to her today but don’t let her get too happily ever after about last night.”

When Andrew arrived at her house she was smiling but other than that was not any different. By lunchtime he had completed his first run through the coursework, he could start on the previous exam papers starting that night. Over lunch Mary thanked him again for the night out.

“Stop thanking me. It was a night out between two friends.”

“I know Andrew, Suzanne kept my feet on the ground when I called her last night when I got home.”

There was nothing to add to that so he kept quiet. Andrew left Mary to finish her review of the material and told her he would be back the following Tuesday for the project review. He was going to work on previous exam past papers for the next few days. That was the plan at least. Gail did not seem to be getting any calmer on his nightly calls and asked him to meet her to talk through stuff. The following morning on the way home from Warrender Andrew stopped at her house. As soon as she saw him the tears flowed. He held Gail in his arms on the couch for a few minutes as she let it all pour out. Andrew could feel her physiology change as she talked, her posture, the slope of her shoulders, the tension in her whole body, it all relaxed as she talked through her issues. Once she was talked out she kissed him.

“Thank you, Andrew, you are a calming presence, different even than on the phone.” She giggled. “I am not sure what the school are going to think if we do this every morning before going in to the exam hall.”

He laughed with her.

“I will come over a couple of mornings next week, Tuesday and Thursday? Don’t let it get to you, the information and the answers are all in there, you just have to stay calm and show the examiners.”

Gail ground on him after that comment and the kisses that followed were much more serious. His dick made itself felt as she ground on him and Gail looked up and the smile on her face had Andrew worried. She was hungry and he was lunch. She dragged him to her bedroom. Gail made him stand up before she knelt in front of him undoing his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. Grasping jeans and boxers everything was pooled at his ankles seconds later. With a deep breath she swallowed the head of his dick in her mouth. Her technique was rudimentary but as always with him it did not have to be sophisticated, especially the first time. Her left hand came up and scratched his scrotum and Andrew popped. It had been a while since he had spent time with anyone other than himself and the volume and velocity caught her by surprise. Gail choked, then she spluttered, Andrew’s dick came out of her mouth and the rest of the shots caught her nose, lips and chin. She was coughing and covered in cum, while Andrew was trying not to topple over as his legs were trapped by his jeans around his ankles. It was not so much erotic as comic. He toppled back onto the bed and Gail looked at him with a mock scowl on her face.

“You might have let me know that your firehose was about to go off.”

She carefully stood up and grabbed a towel from the bathroom to clean her face. By the time she had returned Andrew had untangled his feet and picking Gail up he pivoted and placed her on the bed. Grabbing a condom from his wallet he handed it to her.

“Hold this for me.”

Gail was as ready to pop as Andrew had been and so clit and g-spot stimulation were the order of the day. He licked up her flavourless pussy juice, it was copious but without an obvious scent, from taint to clit. Gail ground her hips against him, and slipping his tensed tongue between her lips Andrew fucked her with his tongue as she writhed against him. Gail’s responses were passionate but consisted of squeaks more than words. As Andrew tongue-fucked her pussy, he tapped her clit and the twitches he created drove her further onto his tongue. Gail’s back started to arch and Andrew increased the strength of his taps, driving her to her first orgasm. Fluid dripped off his chin as Gail leaked ever increasing amounts of pussy juice and his two fingers slid in with utter ease. Andrew was pulling her pussy up and to him with the motion of his hand while at the same time pressing down on her clit with the flat of his tongue. Gail’s feet were firmly planted as a massive orgasm burst over her. She came so much he was covered in juice but maintained the opposing pressures on her until she collapsed back on the bed, a twitching mess of orgasming teenager. Easing the pressure on her Andrew watched as Gail’s breathing started to slow. He plucked the condom from her hand and safely wrapped his aching dick. Gail looked up him from the bed and spread her legs wide, steadying him as he knee-walked between her thighs. She was tight and Andrew took a second to initially penetrate her, but once he was in her moist pussy parted smoothly and their bodies bumped together. Gail locked her ankles behind his back and looked up at him.

“Let’s see if I can release that last bit of tension for you.”

Andrew’s comment made her smile.

“If my next orgasm is like my last one then I may have to nap I will be so relaxed.”

Nothing like a challenge. Andrew pulled back against her legs which reluctantly yielded before slamming him back into her, as if she was helping him fuck her. Gail had strong muscular legs from hockey and their fucking reflected it. She had him locked in place and Andrew had to fight for every movement. The standard missionary position allowed her to set the pace so he switched it up and leant back onto his knees, supporting her with a firm grip on her arse. Andrew moved much less in this position and pulled and pushed Gail on and off his dick more than fucking her. He also knew this position pushed his dick against the roof of her pussy and depending on the woman, produced constant pressure on her g-spot. The move worked perfectly on Gail who after but a few strokes, came hard with cries of ‘right there’. Her orgasm broke the hold her legs had on him and Andrew took immediate advantage. Pushing her back up the bed he slipped his arms inside her legs and started fucking her hard. Although not bent all the way over Gail could get no purchase other than with her hands. She grabbed his arms and her nostrils flared with excitement. Leaning down Andrew kissed her and she bit his lip with ferocity as she started to come again. Her pussy spasmed and it was too much for him, he came suddenly thrusting into her and grinding against her as pulse after pulse filled the condom. He slid out of her and walked through to the toilet to deal with the condom and give himself a quick wash. When he came back Gail was pulling her knickers back up; she came over and wrapped him in a big hug.

“The best stress cure ever Andrew.”

Andrew smiled and thought back to Moira. They may have been the exact same words. He returned the hug before redressing myself. Within five minutes everything had been tidied and he stood at the door.

“I am sure I will be tense on Tuesday, so don’t be late.”

He laughed and headed to the car. Fun meaningless sex, what a great way to start the weekend.


Chapter 3

All of Friday Andrew worked on Physics past papers and managed to complete the first two of the seven years. After his run on Saturday morning he sat and did two more years. Sunday morning his plan was to complete one more before finishing the last two of the seven on the Monday. The rest of the week was going to be project review with Mary. Andrew just wanted the exams to start, he was ready and quietly confident of getting ‘A’s in his four key exams. He needed something to keep him occupied and at 4.30 on Saturday evening there was the perfect distraction; Suzanne called with wonderful news. The Jenners were going out for the evening, Vanessa was staying at a friend’s house and she was lonely and needed a study buddy.

It was a fun night with a friend, they even talked about studying and just wanting the exams to start. But really both of them were 17 and horny. They fucked three times after their usual oral appetisers. The first time they sat on the ottoman in the sitting room Suzanne totally impaled upon Andrew with her legs draped loosely behind him. He had arranged it this way so that she could get no purchase, the fucking was all going to come from him. He lifted her slightly and flexed his dick as she slid back down. The movements were barely two or three inches and were slow and measured; if such a thing existed it was a work out fuck, lift and flex, lift and flex. It was the fuck of close comfortable friends, with lots of hugging and kissing, they were making love. Andrew knew that she loved being held that way and would love the feeling of being lifted effortlessly. Their orgasms were drawn out whimpering affairs that started gradually, almost catching them by surprise. Andrew held Suzanne in his arms as they leaked all over the towel they had placed beneath them. After clean-up he stood behind her in the kitchen his hands running all over her body. Suzanne’s body was gloriously curvy, all tits and arse but with her daily swimming there was a toned, fit feel to it. She was trying to make them a snack but Andrew had other things on his mind. He slipped her robe off and folded it over on the kitchen floor. Kneeling behind her he reached up and run his fingers down her back from the shoulders to her firm fleshy cheeks. Andrew started kissing first one and then the other, running his hands over her hips or down her thighs. Andrew worshiped Suzanne’s back from the waist down. It was not a night for arsehole play and he limited his actions to kisses at the top of her crack, leaving further exploration there for another time. His actions were having an impact on Suzanne, twice she tried to spin round but Andrew held her hips in place and continued to caress and kiss her marvelous bottom. Suzanne bent forward spreading her legs, presenting her arse and pussy as her legs widened. Andrew leaned in and breathed deeply, her musk captivating him. He pushed his tongue forward from arse to clit in a long slow tortuous movement, her groans music to his ears. Suzanne bent further pushing her dripping pussy hard against his face. For many minutes they were locked in this position, back arched, bum out grinding against Andrew’s teasing tongue. Finally he could stand it no longer and spun her round, bent her over his shoulder and stood, her bum and legs leading the way. With long strides Andrew was out the kitchen and up the stairs, Suzanne shrieking at his arse the whole time. He barged into her bedroom and threw her onto the bed from several feet away. Suzanne was so ready to be fucked, Andrew dropped his shorts and pulled her effortlessly down the bed bending her into an ‘el’ shape with her pretty little ankles against his shoulders. Suzanne was about to be the first test subject in his new experiment.

Andrew had found a human anatomy and sexuality book at the library, and more importantly had found it during a quiet time when he did not have to be subjected to scrutiny from other people there. He wanted to make sure he was maximising the pleasure for his partners. He also wanted some tips about anal sex but they were for another day. What he did read was that nearly all the nerve endings in a woman’s vagina are at the front. For most women there are few nerve endings further back in the channel. It was not trying to plumb her depths that caused the most stimulation it was the movement and feelings around the entrance. So rather than push all the way into Suzanne Andrew started to pop in and then back out. Between doing that and tapping her clit with his right hand the sensations were new and strange.

“Andrew, what are you doing to me? That feels so strange and yet it is, oh god, keep doing that, faster, right there,”

He watched the flush flow down her body, from face to her neck and then over her tits and knew that she was about to come and hard. Rather than continue to tap her little button Andrew grasped it between his finger and thumb and squeezed gently while pushing all the way into her pussy. The lights in the room dimmed as supernova Suzanne exploded in his arms. He needed both arms to hold onto her legs as she thrashed and spasmed before him. The moments when Suzanne was lost to the world filled him with so much joy, to see her thinking of nothing but the absolute and utter pleasure of the moment, it was magical. Andrew pushed her up the bed and knee walked between her thighs easily slipping his dick back into her tight and twitching pussy. Suzanne pulled him to her face, eyes shining and a vein throbbing on her temple.

“No mercy Andrew. Fuck me, I need you to take me”

She grabbed his ears and pulled him closer.

“Show me the beast unleashed Andrew. Fuck me through this mattress and make me scream. Think only of yourself.”

Every word was causing Andrew’s dick to flex unbidden in her pussy, she knew it and could feel it. He had her bent in half and was already pounding away. Suzanne’s grip on his ears never slackened and she wordlessly urged him on, dragging him to a frantic climax mere minutes later. HIs dick was raw and his balls ached when he pulled out and slumped down on the bed beside her. Suzanne rolled against him and his arm went round her as she lay there her head on his heaving chest. They didn’t nap but rather Andrew pulled Suzanne up onto him, lying along him in the thinking and talking position, her arms crossed and her chin on them looking at him.

“Will you ever really let go? Just think only of yourself?”

Andrew pursed his lips and smiled ruefully.

“So that wasn’t good enough?”

“Stop it, you know what I mean.”

“Think only of myself? I would hope never.”

Andrew stopped and gathered his thoughts.

“What more can I do? Be stronger, have a bigger dick, drain even more from my balls? Suzanne, I had you bent in half like you were made of rubber, pinned to the bed beneath me and I am trying to fuck you through the mattress. I don’t know that there is any more beast and I don’t know that I am interested in finding out. Sex is for two people, is consensual, and has to be enjoyable for both. We just did that in two opposite yet equally fantastic ways.”

Suzanne lay on him thinking about this for a while.

“I always feel there is more, I don’t know why.”

“What? I have fucked you as hard as I know how. Did it look like I was holding anything back? I have eaten you until you beg for mercy, I have stuck my finger in your arse, which we are going to play some more with, I have spanked you, which I are unsure about, what else is there?”

Suddenly he realised that it was not about him at all.

“Oh I see, is this me being dense again? What is it that I am missing?”

Andrew looked at Suzanne expectantly and started massaging her bum.

“Yes, it is playing around, acting a role or something. You joke about dressing me up as a tavern wench and chasing me around and then taking me. That scenario stuck in my head, it turns me on to play a character like that. It is just a prostitute from the Middle-Ages. That kind of sexuality fascinates me, you walk in, throw £30 on the table and do anything you want to me.”

In 1983 there was no internet, no way to look anything like this up. You discovered different things about sexuality in general, and your own quirks specifically, just like this. Talking about it with a partner, maybe someone older who has in their own time made a voyage of discovery about this. Or like he and Suzanne, a couple of horny teenagers who watched a swashbuckling epic on TV and added their own spin. Role playing and fantasies? Andrew had mentioned it first, almost unwittingly and it triggered something in Suzanne. Looking back, it all seemed so hopelessly hit and miss.

“Oh I get it. But think about it. We dress up, I’ll borrow or rent a Pirates of Penzance costume or something similar and you can have the off the shoulder blouse and wide peasant skirt, no underwear. Even while playing the characters you are going to be dripping wet thinking about what I am going to do to you. In your head you will play out the scenario where I do something like what I did today, come up behind you, spend ages just caressing your arse, fling you over my shoulder and take you somewhere to fuck you. We just did that, admittedly without the costume, but we can add that.”

He got on a roll, his mind fizzing with possibilities.

“Oh Suzanne, the fun we can have. I will pick out a costume for you and pack it in a locked bag. Every day you see the bag and think about what I have put in there. Finally a day like today arrives, we are free to have some fun. Leslie comes over about 4.30 and drops off the key to the bag. Your parents and your sister take forever to leave, god will they just hurry up and get out, finally you can open that bag, what did I get you? The anticipation will have you so wet and horny.”

Suzanne was looking at him wide eyed.

“Who knows how to turn you on better than me? What would you want to find? What would you dread to find? What would you love to wear while dreading it at the same time? The bag of no limits, you could take it with you to university. One day the key arrives, only two hours until the games begin. Think about all that delicious anticipation.”

“For someone who never really liked English you sure have a way with words. You fire up that big old brain of yours and look what happens, me lying panting on you turned on like you would not believe.”

Suzanne reached under her and a moment later the head of his cock popped into her, their groans indicative of how turned on they both were. She fucked him this third and final time, energetically humping away on his lap. Suzanne pulled Andrew’s hands to her tits and kept imploring him to squeeze her nipples harder, well beyond anything he was comfortable doing without her specific encouragement. They lay in each other’s arms afterwards, his spunk oozing out of her all over his balls. Since they had ditched condoms sex had become much messier, earthier almost, and as with the hotel room, her room reeked of sex. They showered together, a tight squeeze but that just made it even better. Andrew got out first and left Suzanne to wash her hair. By the time she came out of the bathroom, pink and fresh and sexy, her hair wrapped in a towel but wearing nothing else, he had tidied her room. The bedcover needed to go in the wash but everything else was fine, he had opened the window and the telltale smell of teenage sex had already started to clear.

“You need to get downstairs and get your robe on. It is not much defence I know but if you stand there looking like that you are going to need another shower.”

Suzanne bit her bottom lip and then ran squealing from the room as Andrew chased her down the stairs. He caught her in the kitchen and swept her into his arms before kissing her. She finally got her robe back on and went back to finishing the snack of an hour earlier while Andrew checked the sitting room and dropped the towel by the laundry. Once it and the bedcover were dealt with he sat with Suzanne and wolfed down two huge sandwiches, oddly he was hungry!

Sleep that night came easily and Andrew was up early and worked on another Physics paper that Sunday morning. Leslie was out that night so he was not going to the Campbells for dinner after the Food Bank. He packed his bag for swimming and headed out. The sorting every Sunday at the Food Bank warehouse was as familiar to him as going to the Central Library. It had been a constant in his life for more than four years by then. Other than meeting Nikki that first year there it was not a place that he had friends. Dave Millar was still the weekend team lead there every Sunday but other than him Andrew and Gord were the only constants in the place, the rest of the volunteers came and went. It was hard, grubby work without the emotional satisfaction of seeing the people the food was helping. A lot of the volunteers did not give up, they just moved away from the warehouse. There were some younger people but Andrew had been the youngest person there his entire time, although at 6’5” and a few weeks shy of his 18th birthday he was a lot different than the 100lb skeleton that had first started. He was in a reflective mood that afternoon as he started to work away on his own. Then he was paired with a new volunteer, a middle aged lady who although clueless as to what they had to do felt that as the adult she should be telling him what to do. Andrew still got annoyed by adults doing this, it had pretty much stopped as he grew taller and taller, and tended to be brusque when dealing with it.

“Enough. You have been here 20 minutes and you think you can tell me how to do this? I have been here four years and you are something like the 50th person I have worked with. Do what I tell you and be quiet or go and see Dave to get reassigned.”

The Diplomatic Corps had never returned his calls. Andrew rolled his eyes as she stormed off to Dave and kept working. Fifteen minutes later Dave sent over a second victim.

“Hello I am Nancy. Dave has sent me over to work with you. You are Andrew, right?”

Nancy was everything bossybitch was not. Quiet, funny and just trying to help others, not immediately trying to take charge.

“Dave tells me that you have been doing this for more than four years yet you look quite young still. From a distance you seem older but up close you have a baby face.”

Andrew snorted and Nancy looked alarmed.

“I didn’t mean that to sound the way it did.”

He waved away her stammered apology.

“Don’t stress about it. I am still only 17, although baby faced is not what teenage boys normally like to hear.”

He smiled to let her know he was fine.

“You started here when you were 13?”

Nancy sounded amazed. Andrew gave her the 10 minute version of his time there, skipping over the cancer at the beginning, instead focusing on the concept of helping others. She was interested in karma and how he talked about karmic balance.

“Do you think that works Andrew? Karma I mean.”

HIs enthusiasm startled her.

“Without question, I am 100% sure of it. Way too many great and positive things have happened to me, from helping others, doing the right thing. I have been so lucky and successful in other aspects of my life that I have no doubt about it. Sometimes the proximity between feeding my karmic balance and a great thing in my life is so close it feels scary.”

“Feeding your karmic balance, what a great way to think of it. Sadly, I think you are very much in the minority of people your age. I have two teenage children and I am sure that they would not come with me if I asked them.”

“You are probably right, I have been the youngest here for years. But it is what it is. Schemes like the Duke of Edinburgh Award require that candidates perform volunteer work and maybe that will encourage more young people.

The rest of the afternoon went by as they chatted while they worked. Nancy was easy to chat to, she had children not much younger than him and was used to teenage drama. Swimming that evening was at a medium pace, endless lengths as he thought about everything and nothing. Andrew was content and had no drama in his life at present. Three more weeks would see him through his school exams and six weeks or so after that and he would be graduated from the Open University with a BSc in Computer Science. Andrew felt a twinge in his arms and looked over at the clock, laughing in surprise. No wonder he was aching, he had been swimming for more than an hour and 20 minutes. He was meeting Suzanne at Warrender in less than 12 hours, it would be a very light session for him the following morning. He wearily hauled himself out of the pool and went to shower and change. He was physically tired but mentally and emotionally he was calm and relaxed. But when Andrew wandered into the foyer there was Ara, waiting to talk to him.

Andrew watched as the drama free part of his life disappeared over the horizon.

He managed not to close his eyes and sigh, but it was touch and go. Ara sat there looking expectantly at him, as if he was to rush up and greet her warmly. 15 weeks had gone past but she was as lovely as ever. Tall and full figured, just looking at her stirred his blood. Nothing like starting the conversation off with his dick sticking out!

“Hello Ara, how are you?”

Andrew wasn’t sure whether it was nice to see her or not.

“Hello Andrew, I am okay. I was in the pool swimming when you came in and have been sitting waiting for you for a while. How are you?”

“Fine thank you.”

There was no point in elaborating anything. He might never see her again after this evening.

“Do you think that we can go somewhere and talk? I know that you came by the flat a few weeks ago and I would like to talk to you too.”

Andrew drove them over to the usual café in silence and after they placed their orders they sat and looked at each other. It was never this hard normally. Ara finally started.

“I wanted to see how you were and talk to you about what happened in January.”

“We should talk about that, I agree. Would you mind if I started as it was my behaviour that caused it?”

Ara nodded and so Andrew recapped his life starting with Allison more than a year earlier, how he was too intense and it had caused terminal problems with Allison and serious issues with Suzanne, although he did not name either. Andrew talked about how it had freaked him out, especially after the intensity of their session back in December. That was what was making him weird in January. But then to compound his idiocy he had acted like he was in charge with her, without explaining anything or listening to her perspective leading to her walking away. He summarised the fight with Leslie and the next eight weeks and explained that he was lost, with no one to talk to and very worried about the way he acted whenever he had sex. Finally Andrew talked about Suzanne forcing him and Leslie to sit down with her and talk it through and how through their insights he had gained an understanding of his passionate nature.

“I was afraid of it, hurting other people and not sure what to do. I should have talked to you rather than treating you in the patronising manner that I did. I am sorry and offer no excuse other than I am young and was clueless how to deal with it.”

He could see he had drawn a lot of sting from Ara by her reaction.

“You are a confounding man Andrew, a confounding man. We have managed to waste so much of our limited time. It is already May and I am mad at you, and myself, for letting things get so out of control.”

She stopped and looked at him as if mentally addressing something.

“What do you think of us Andrew?”

A simple question with a complicated answer.

“We make no sense together Ara. Our backgrounds, the stages of our education, our ability to misunderstand the other, everything says that we should accept that this is not to be and move on, stop tormenting ourselves. And yet.”

Andrew stopped and looked at her. He breathed deeply a couple of times as he thought about her impact on him.

“I find myself drawn to you like no other woman I have ever met.”

Andrew lowered his head and his voice was barely audible.

“I wish that circumstances were more aligned to give us a chance.”

He didn’t mention her mother, but she sat like a vulture watching over the scene. Ara touched his hand and Andrew looked up in surprise and saw the same wistful look in her eyes,

“You know from Gwen that I have tried dating other people. It has been a complete disaster, all thinking of nothing but who Dad is, or going on about mutual acquaintances that I can’t stand. Part of the problem was that my heart wasn’t in it.”

She looked at him.

“What are we going to do Andrew? I am tied up with exams this month, which is why I am here tonight, I needed to swim just to relax. I am guessing you are the same?”

He nodded and she continued.

“I am finished by the middle of June, how about you?”

“My school exams are over by the end of May, I have to finish the 12th course, my project, to complete my degree requirements and am trying to do that by the middle of July, plus there is a week in the south of England at the Royal Engineers Cadet Camp. I should be free in August and September and have no plans at present.”

“So as usual we are going to see each other infrequently, if at all.”

“It does rather look that way. When do you have to head south?”

“I will stay here until the end of June I think. Three extra weeks with my mother is not going to happen.”

Ara squared her shoulders and looked at him as a wide and beautiful smile blossomed on her face.

“Do you know what would reduce my stress the most Andrew?”

Ara’s eyes sparkled. Oh my, she was in a hurry. As the biggest slut at George Heriot’s Andrew felt honour bound to defend the school. Yeah right. Ara held his hand as they drove over to Marchmont. After 10 frustrating minutes looking for parking they all but ran up the street to her flat.

“Did you ever get another flatmate or is it just Gwen?”

“Just Gwen but don’t worry about her. You have months of catching up to do with me.”

Andrew was being swept along, entirely willingly, and as they went into the flat he thought back to that memorable night more than four months before. This night he was going to keep the talk to a minimum and concentrate on the physical instead, he remembered that Ara had supersensitive nipples but a half hidden clit. Grabbing a towel from the bathroom, she remembered the fountain obviously, she pulled him into her room and closed the door behind them.

Andrew smiled at her and moved to the centre of the room, pulling the condoms from his wallet and putting them onto the bedside table. That done he started stripping, all the time watched by Ara at the door. He raised an eyebrow but she just smirked and motioned for him to continue. When he pushed his boxers down and stepped out of them she pounced, pushing him back on the bed. Still fully dressed, Ara straddled his shins and threw the towel casually across Andrew’s stomach. His dick, hard and throbbing stood away from his stomach but pointing dangerously towards Andrew’s head rather than straight up. Ara’s hand snaked out and clasped it and he hissed, concentrating on not popping instantly. She could tell it was not going to be long and firmly starting wanking him pointing his dick up at the ceiling. When her left hand caressed his balls, all was lost and Andrew once again treated her to an arcing explosion of spunk. Her face was still a picture as she watched in fascination at his outpouring. She wiped her hand as well as his dick and threw the towel on the floor. The undressing that followed was suddenly uncertain and her lack of experience shown through. She stalled at her underwear and Andrew stood up from the bed and took her hands.

“Let me.”

He pulled her knickers down first and kissed her mons as he knelt before her. Ara trembled in his arms as Andrew stood back up and guided her onto the bed. He sat with his back against the headboard and carefully wrapped himself up, then Ara shuffled into position and sank onto him with an audible sigh. Only then did Andrew reach round and unhook her bra, letting it fall to the floor as her puffy areolae and stiff nipples came into view. Leaning forward he tickled the end of her right nipple with the tip of his tongue and her pussy flexed around his cock. A little flick on the left nipple resulted in the same reaction. Ara had two nipples as sensitive as a clit sitting high and proud on her chest taunting him to drive her to utter sexual insanity. At first Andrew gently fucked her, slowly and passionately holding her in his arms staring at her and working on forging a connection. But that calm was shattered and all for naught because the very next moment he was caressing her tits and nipples with relentless fervour. Ara came three times in rapid succession and after the third time she was a sobbing quivering mess in his arms begging him to stop and just to hold her. Andrew had not yet come so Ara was still impaled on his erect dick, despite no movement, it was an intimate moment. Slowly her gasps calmed and she looked at him, her palms flat against his chest holding her body off his, everything still too sensitive for contact.

“I am never going to survive, my whole body tingles, how do you do that to me?”

“Ara, you have an underdeveloped little clit, which is tough to coax out of hiding and seems to be not very sensitive. Your nipples on the other hand are like two clits on your chest. Add to that your general sexual excitement and your wonderful body is ripe for ravishing at a moment’s notice. You do wonders for my ego, knowing that I can make you come.”

“Try not to sound too pleased with yourself.”

Andrew smiled and kissed her driving the temperature back up between them. Holding Ara carefully he swung his feet onto the ground, stood up and then laid her down, on her back, on the bed all the while firmly embedded within her. Ara hooked her ankles behind his back and their pace picked up again. He was fucking a beautiful woman but Andrew had gone all scientist, focused on her responses, trying to figure out what worked for her, what built her pleasure. He knew from their one other time together that Ara had a sensitive g-spot but that plain old missionary did nothing to get her off. He smiled a goofy smile at his idiotic focus and got his head, and body, back into the game. Fingers intertwined, arms stretched above her head, Andrew kissed Ara first on the mouth, before going all Christopher Lee on her throat for several minutes. Her left collarbone was more sensitive than the right, who knew, and his tongue gliding along her skin, tracing the outline of the bone, had her panting in seconds. Arching her back Ara dragged her nipples across Andrew’s chest and screaming his name she orgasmed, the muscles in her thighs squeezing him tight. He didn’t know which of the many triggers set him off but with a roar Andrew pulsed in her again and again. When he opened his eyes her smile made his heart skip a beat. They untangled and after dealing with the condom they lay on her bed, squeezed in side by side. Ara started giggling.

“I better go and let Gwen know I am still alive.”

Grabbing a robe she left the room and padded off down the hall. While she was off confessing all to her flatmate, more confirming than confessing based on the noise, Andrew got dressed. He did not stink of sex too much but another shower awaited when he got home. He found some tissues and properly wrapped the condom before throwing it in the trash. The towel, all spunk stained, he left where it was. There was no obvious laundry bag or hamper so she was on her own. Ara burst back into the room but her face fell.

“You’re dressed, phooey.”

Phooey? Andrew smiled at her vocabulary.

“We both still have exams to prepare for, so I am going to head home. Will I see you at swimming on Friday? Usual time?”

Andrew was holding Ara in his arms as they talked swaying slightly.

“Not until Friday, eh?”

“It is the last week of exam prep and then preparing for the review of my physics project. The one thing no one has any experience of.”

She looked at him and seemed to make up her mind about something.

“Okay, Friday at 5.30 as usual. But you stay here that night. Can you get someone to cover for you?”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

Even Andrew couldn’t keep his faux outrage going until the end of the sentence.

“Sure. I will tell them I am crashing at Julian’s flat. It is two streets over, not that my parents will care. Staying over will not be a problem.”

Ara giggled again but laid her head against his chest. Holding Ara in his arms, with the echoes of her giggle in the air, all seemed right with the world.

“Do you have exams this week or is it still prep like me?”

“Still prep, all mine are in June, finishing on the 10th.”

Andrew was going to have an interesting birthday celebration that year! With some final kisses he left, floating down the stairs to the car. Standing in the shower later, washing himself clean after re-grouting the tiles once again with memories of Ara, Andrew thought about the weekend. Gail on Friday morning, Suzanne on Saturday night and Ara on Sunday night. He really was turning into a slut. Being a near 18 year old male he was more proud than ashamed, especially as he was going to fuck Gail twice in the coming week, purely in the interests of stress relief you understand, before spending the night with Ara on Friday.

What Andrew was most pleased about was his lack of angst. What did it mean? Who knew? What did the future hold? Who knew? He was enjoying the moment. Deep down he knew he was deluding himself but he was trying to not overthink it all.

Leslie did call him a slut the next day. He had phoned her at lunchtime and she came over for a late lunch, as a break from the exam prep. Andrew had written his last two Physics past papers that morning having skipped swimming. As they sat and had soup and a sandwich he explained his three ladies in three days weekend. Leslie just laughed out loud.

“You shameless man, you really are a complete slut.”

Apparently, it was now official.

“Still drawn back to Ara?”

Her cheery tone had been replaced by a more pensive one.

“Yes, that is exactly the phrase, drawn back to her. And it is mutual as well, the attraction always seems to trump common sense for both of us.”

Andrew had thought about it during his run that morning.

“I know Gail is nothing more than a shiny new toy and I think that you and Suzanne are at a place where you can survive come September but what about Ara?”

“Oh, I know. I finish my exams right before she starts hers. She is finished her exams more than a month before I can finish the computer course project and by then it is late July. We have work to do with the Research Trust, as well as the Venture Trust, over the summer. I also need to plan out my life at Cambridge, the courses are going to be much harder but I need to think about my routine as well. I need routine in my life, it keeps me sane, well relatively.”

They both smiled at that last one.

“At the moment it is once a week again, Friday night. It will be that way for a month, then we will see. There is a connection between us but the obstacles still seem insurmountable. I am not overthinking it, I am just enjoying my time with her.”

Leslie gave him a hug.

“I am glad you are being so calm. It is a big three months for you and I want to make sure you don’t go off the rails again.”

She looked at him before she continued.

“You, we, have achieved so much already, I cannot wait for next summer. Get my degree finished and start to really make a difference. The three of us need to go away this summer for a weekend and have a bit of a celebration, stop and think about what we have managed to accomplish. Julian is the most remarkable one, he has voluntarily given up millions of pounds to do some good, without the emotional connection that you and I have to Faith. He is a good person and a good friend.”

“You are right, it is amazing what the three of us accomplished. We are only 18, 20 and 22 as well. I have the feeling that I am deserting the two of you, going south to university rather than staying here in Edinburgh. It will be a different life for us all. I have hung out with Julian most Saturdays and you most Sundays for the last four years. We will talk on the phone but it will change everything. Are you and Julian going to see each other while I am away?”

Leslie laughed.

“Of course we are doofus. I see Julian all the time at university, he is my Suzanne. We often are at the Union on Friday nights. I now know lots of engineers and he knows lots of accountants and business types.”

“I never realised, god I can be a self-absorbed git sometimes.”

“Yes you can but so are most teenagers, don’t worry about it.”

She kissed him on the cheek.

“Have fun, but take care Andrew.”

He stood at the door, watching her leave, thinking about her words.


Chapter 4

After Leslie left on the Monday afternoon Andrew went through to study some more. But other than his project he was just going over topics he had already revised. He was ready to sit the exam now. The rolls of film from the shoot at the quarry were still in his bag waiting to be developed so on a whim Andrew drove into town to use Tony’s darkroom. His part time assistant Stacey was there and so Tony was able to sit and chat to Andrew while he developed the three rolls of film. With two of them working the trays for the printing process the whole exercise took much less time than normal. Once Stacey had left and Tony had closed the shop and locked up they spread all the prints out and went through them.

The first pass was technical; focusing, was all of Monica in focus; composition of the shot, the position of Monica compared to the Castle or Arthur’s Seat in the far distance. While this would seem odd when confronted with 84 prints of Monica parading naked atop a Scottish quarry, it was how Andrew got better. There were three shots where if he had repositioned Monica, or moved himself, then the shot would have been fantastic. They were good but just not quite composed or positioned right. There were several others that were really good but there was always something missing.

“I would like to go back to that spot. I think I can get better shots the next time.”

“I agree. What you did this time was focus on Monica, you need to take your time and compose the shot. Take the shots at the start, before she strips.”

It was still slightly surreal talking about Tony’s girlfriend this way. The second run through the prints was the interplay of light upon Monica. They sat and compared the difference between a shot without the reflector compared to one with it. There were two great shots which really highlighted Monica’s body, yet her face was in shadow from the rising sun behind her. It was little things like how the crease at the bottom of her bum cheeks was a dark line beneath the two globes bathed in the morning light. Monica had a fabulous body but Andrew was always drawn to her arse and legs.

“I think when we go back I should bring some baby oil, make her skin glisten. The morning sunlight reflecting off glistening skin will add something to the shot.”

Again, this was a man talking to a 17 year old about his naked girlfriend. The final run through of the pictures was the overall aesthetic of them. How the whole shoot hung together. The only point in hiking atop a disused quarry before the sun had even risen was to use the view as part of the shot. Once the exams were over Andrew vowed to go back on his own and explore the whole ridge. There were not going to be any shots right at the lip of the quarry but none of the shots really captured the 200ft drop that they were standing close to.

“These are good Andrew. I think that there are two you can enter in the next competition. If you leave them with me then I will show them to Maggie and if she is okay then I will get her to release them. It is also interesting comparing how she is with you and I as compared to when it is just me. And then compare that again with when she models for a larger group. She posed for five guys and me on Friday night and it is only when I look at these shots that I see the difference in her. She has fun when it is the three of us, she is showing off somehow. So thank you for doing this for her, for us.”

Being thanked for this seemed strange to Andrew. He accepted the thanks and packed up to head back home for his dinner. But as he drove it reinforced the idea that he was mainly doing this for Maggie, and Tony as well to a lesser extent. Yet he and Tony had spent an hour going through the technical aspects of the shoot which was improving his skill and ability as a photographer. Whatever else it was, it was an effective way of forgetting about his Physics exam for an afternoon.

The rest of the week went exactly as he planned with one notable exception. On Tuesday after his swim Andrew stopped by Gail’s house on the way to Mary’s. Oddly enough she was not interested in verbal stress relief, more oral! It was a one night stand at 9.30 in the morning. Deliciously slutty, no pretence and no expectations. Gail was horny, Andrew was horny, no overthinking allowed.

He walked to the car at 10.20 with a spring in his step. Gail had kicked him out so that she could get back to studying. They would talk that night and again the next evening and Andrew would be right back there on Thursday morning with the same objective and outcome. He did go home to quickly shower and was at Mary’s by 11.00. She had prepared sandwiches already so it was going to be five and a half hours of solid exam prep eating as they studied.

“I want you to be as big an arse as possible Andrew, okay? Question everything, belittle everything, make me sweat all the details. I need this to be tougher than the actual review.”

Andrew agreed and asked her to do the same for him and then they got started. Her project was on radioactivity and the absorption properties of different materials against alpha, beta and gamma rays. She had also tested all of this in a vacuum to see if there any differences. Finally she had set up electrical plates in the vacuum tube to test if the rays were deflected. His questions started off easily as he worked out what the project was showing but over the course of the day Andrew thought up more and more questions for Mary. Several of them, near the end of the session, stumped her and rather than be upset she was delighted.

“Excellent, this is exactly what I wanted to get out of this. My answers are weak or non-existent on the impact of chemistry on these experiments, I need to think about the chemistry of the absorbent materials and explain that better.”

It was 4.20 and Andrew knew that he would be leaving in less than half an hour.

“Let’s stop there today if you don’t mind. I am going to write up my notes and think about answers to the questions that you raised there at the end. Then tomorrow we can review those answers and figure out any remaining questions. After lunch we can start on your project and finish on Thursday. Friday morning we will have a final review of both projects and then it is exam time.”

Andrew could see that Mary, like him and probably most of the class, was just wanting the waiting to be over and the damn exams to start.

“Seems like a plan. I will try and get here earlier tomorrow, around 10.00”

Wednesday went exactly as planned. By noon they were finished the review of her project and Mary felt confident in advance of the review session the next week. After lunch they started on Andrew’s project. The pattern was similar, a slow start as Mary got up to speed with the concepts and what Andrew was trying to show and then delving into the experimental evidence. Nothing completely stumped him but several times she went back over his answers because he was not being clear or it appeared that Andrew was contradicting himself. Mary’s plan was a great one, this prep session forced them to think through their answers and tighten up loose language or fuzzy thinking. Andrew knew he would have a couple of hours of thinking and writing that night to be able to answer Mary’s probing questions clearly. And so it turned out; by 2.00 on Thursday afternoon Mary announced that she was done, his answers were sound and she understood the theory and how his experiments proved parts and disproved others.

Andrew had arrived at her house, clean and showered after another quickie fuck with Gail. She had still called on both Tuesday and Wednesday evenings but her anxiety was lower than the week before. When he got to Gail’s she dragged him straight to her bedroom, she wanted the fuck over as quickly as possible so that she could get back to studying. An odd contradiction but if it worked for her then he was okay with it too. Gail’s powerful legs ensured that fucking her was a hard battle of equals. She knew what she wanted and Andrew was the means to that end. There was nothing romantic about the sex, it was a workout with a specific end goal. Looking back on it Andrew was nothing more than a human vibrator, but it was driven by her worries over the exams. After the exams, she was a changed woman, they went out a couple of times in June and she was relaxed and flirty. The desperate focus was gone and the real Gail shone through. At exam time every year Andrew often thought about who the lucky guy was that year that was keeping her sane. He fucked her three times, the last time being that morning, it really was all about lowering her exam stress. But this was all in the future and Andrew didn’t realise it at the time.

He and Mary were done with their studying and it was only 2.00 in the afternoon. Three more days and then the exams started. There was no need to rush off and they sat chatting about this and that, there was no structure to their conversation. It took a turn towards relationships.

“How are you so confident around women Andrew?”

It was the same question the guys had asked him at the Duke of Edinburgh Award camp.

“I am myself and don’t worry about what other people think. It goes back to my cancer in 2nd year. Before that I was so worried about fitting in, perceptions, being cool whatever that meant. I don’t really talk about it anymore, it is so long ago, but it was very serious at the time, if the chemo didn’t work I was almost certainly going to die. Once you face and survive that then everything else starts to seem a lot less important. I had two friends help me think through all that, seeing things from your perspective, meaning the girls that arrived in 3rd year. It just snowballed from there. Small things led to bigger things. I am probably better at talking to women than I am to men. Other than Pete I don’t have a lot of close male friends at school. I am also honest with people even if they don’t want to hear the answers. Remember the fuss with Kate way back in 3rd year. It took me a long time to separate going out with friends and doing more than kiss them, I got dumped a lot for that. Now it just is, which is a terrible answer but is the truth. I am myself and don’t worry about stuff that I cannot control.

“But I am also lucky, the people that I have asked out have not shot me down in flames. I had my confidence boosted by several people in 3rd year that allowed me to handle rejection better, I also have not asked out a lot of people, which is rare for the man in the relationship. All that helps. Confidence is one of the things that self-perpetuates I think, the more you are confident in the outcome the more likely that it will happen. I talk to some pupils in the evening just helping them with their confidence. You know what it is like to be bright, I don’t think I have failed an exam in my life, so I don’t stress about exams. I am confident to the point of cockiness, whereas for a lot of people it is the opposite, they might know the material but get paralysed with worry about the exam. I have helped a bunch of people cope with exam anxiety, build up their confidence.”

“Wow, not the short answer I expected. What about the other way round? How do you find women around men, and you in particular?”


Andrew thought for several seconds.

“Let’s see, from my experience it is related to puberty, sex or at least the possibility of it, and power dynamics. Girl’s reach puberty before boys and have to deal with the consequences earlier, hormones, physical changes, monthly routines and so are more mature earlier. Partially explains the standard relationship at school of a younger woman going out with a guy a year or two older than her. Puberty leads to sex and women have to deal with sex obsessed men. We both know that women get horny just like men but it seems to be a different kind of horny. In one very memorable afternoon lying in a cancer ward, my views on sex were set by an older woman. She was more than four years older than me. I lay there and listened as a teenage woman told me about life from puberty to that point, what women had to deal with and gave me a list of dos and don’ts to follow. It is one of the reasons that I got asked out by so many women. You know what the girls at school are like, compare and contrast. I never talked and never touched, I was ideal for young women trying to transition from girl to woman without being labelled a prude, a slut, easy, frigid or any one of the many charming ways that guys describe women. So that worked to my advantage. And although it took me a very long time to realise it, women like the way I look, I am tall, broad shouldered yet still lean. I got told this was the male equivalent of big tits. Once that penny dropped I stopped being so surprised that women wanted to run their hands all over my body. And finally sex plays into the power dynamic between the sexes, and between individuals. Holding out the possibility of sex, or going to the next stage of the sex journey gives women control, power. This is one of the things that I completely miss at school. Because I am always in the library and don’t hang out with a bunch of guys most of the time I don’t hear all the whining about how someone won’t let them past second base, or third base or whatever. There was a little bit at CCF but as I got older I tuned it out.


That was a preview of Living Two Lives - Book 7. To read the rest purchase the book.

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