Living Two Lives - Book 6

Chapter 1

Nikki and Fran were waiting at the station when Andrew and June disembarked from the train. The two of them lugged his tripod and big camera bag along the platform and Andrew did the introductions. June gave them both a big hug and Andrew could tell from their demeanour that the constant underlying tension of judgement left them. Andrew guessed they didn’t even realise they had been tense but regardless June was discreet until they were all in Fran’s car. Andrew sat smiling as June unleashed a thousand questions on them. She was not judgemental so much as fascinated and just chatted away, asking the about living two lives, about same sex attraction, about everything. Once June’s initial barrage of questions was answered Andrew took the opportunity to talk through the ceremony in two weeks.

“How extensive do you want the photographs to be? Am I to treat this as a wedding? I have seen a couple of the wedding albums of my cousins and they show some behind the scenes shots before the actual ceremony. Some shots while everyone gets their hair and makeup done, the walk to the car before the drive to the church, that sort of thing. Do you want me to do that for you or is it a different feel to your weekend?”

They looked at each other, unsure how to respond.

“You probably want to discuss this between yourselves so you don’t have to decide right now. It is more a logistical issue, if you want the whole day documented then we will come through on the Friday night. If it is a more traditional event then we can meet you at the venue.”

The morning was spent going through all the issues. June and Andrew walked down to the corner shop to get out the flat and let Nikki and Fran have some time to make their decision in private. They decided on the simple version, documenting the occasion but not all the preparations as well. Then June helped them work on their posing, jumping in and out of the shot, showing them ways to stand, hold their heads, focusing on the main things so as not to swamp them with details. She worked them hard for an hour but Andrew could tell that the pictures flattered them at the end, without making either of them look fake or unnatural.

After lunch they drove over to the venue. It was a small country inn, near a tiny village called Balmaha on the eastern shore of Loch Lomond. The couple that owned it were both kind and very savvy. They had zero personal problems with gay or lesbian couples. Much like Andrew, they just didn’t care. What they realised was that there was money to be made. Their reputation as a gay-friendly location made them one of the obvious places in the west of Scotland for commitment ceremonies. When they arrived there was a ceremony happening out in the garden between two gay men. There were at least 70 guests, and Andrew found out that the inn was booked solid for two nights and the catering and booze bills were enormous for the two days. He had to laugh, that in these tough economic times, not being prejudiced was a way to make a good living. There was a moral in there.

Once the ceremony was over and the ‘wedding’ party was in the marquee enjoying drinks, the four of them walked through the ceremony. It was short, and although it was sweet and full of love there was a poignant air to it. At the end of the day, Nikki and Fran deserved more. June helped the two of them again with some posing but only here and there. They both had listened that morning and their poses were natural and relaxed. She did change a couple of shots which did make them better but only a few. With a view out over the fields running down to the Loch half a mile away, it was tough to go wrong. If the weather cooperated then Andrew was sure he would get some spectacular shots of Nikki and Fran’s big day. They drove back down into Glasgow, and after parking the car, walked into the city centre for dinner before June and Andrew got an evening train.

“How many shots did you take today Andrew?”

Fran had been, surprisingly, the more nervous, the more tentative all day.

“Only around 65 or so, I think there are six or seven shots left on the roll. I will finish it tomorrow morning and then get the rolls developed on Monday. I should get the three rolls developed without a problem.”

“You learned to develop film in the darkroom just for us?” Nikki asked.

“No, I have been developing my own rolls of film for four, no nearly five years. I worked in a camera shop and did a lot of developing before my cancer. I still develop the odd roll of film. Tony, the guy who owns the camera shop, he lets me use his darkroom whenever I need it.”

“So the film won’t be developed by someone else. It will be just you?”

“Just me, no one else will see the pictures.”

Again Andrew didn’t think either of them knew how relieved they were appearing. June had smiled enigmatically as he talked about the darkroom. After dinner Andrew hugged both his friends and quietly told them to behave on their hen parties. The squeals and whacks were worth it and as he and June walked over to the station to catch the train home Andrew was happy for his two friends. On the train, the conversation took an interesting turn as Andrew came to understand June’s expression when they were talking about the darkroom.

“I had a fun day Andrew, and your friends are a really nice couple.”

“I am glad you had fun, I think you helped them a lot and the pictures will be better because of the pointers you gave them. You kept it simple and didn’t bombard them with too many details.”

“Can we talk about my own modelling Andrew? I want to keep modelling for you, and as frequently as we can manage. I don’t understand why I need to model but I do. I know you don’t think I listen to you but I really do. I know how grateful you are for my help and you talk about my artistic ability and intellect all the time. But it does not touch me the same way being told I am pretty or sexy does. So I want to keep modelling and trying different things. I have been making some new clothes and want you to shoot me in them as well as in a couple of other outfits. What I need is for you to be my photographer though. I have gone to some auditions and, ugh, most photographers are horrible, ugly perverts. All they want to do is get you topless or naked.”

“Are they all like that?”

“All? No probably not, but it feels like it. Partly it has been the age thing, they are Dad’s age or older. If it was some cute university student then it might be a different but so far it is the old perv brigade. The truth is though, I am thinking about that type of modelling and ending up topless or even naked at the end of a shoot. The rush that I feel when I am the centre of attention and getting all the compliments is like nothing else. That is why I was so pleased to find out that you can develop your own pictures. It allows me the freedom to push the envelope if I want.”

Andrew sat there as the train rumbled across southern Scotland looking and feeling a bit stunned. Yet how was it any different than Maggie? Andrew had met Monica the model first and only then got to know the real person afterwards. Would it be any different knowing June first and the seeing Jackie the model, or whatever name she came up with?

“I also know that I can trust you and am more likely to have to talk you into taking the shots than the other way round. I wanted to talk to you in advance so that you did not freak out when it finally happens.”

June snuggled up next to him and sat quietly. Andrew pondered what she had said. Part of him was all for it. it was legal and June knew herself well enough to understand that she was going to do this at some point. But did he want to photograph her topless or even naked? She said she trusted him and he suppressed a shudder as he thought about the way she described some of the photographers she had met on auditions. Andrew had no qualms about taking the shots, what he did feel uncomfortable about was why she wanted to take the pictures in the first place. But he could not understand or control everybody. Andrew thought about his immediate response, to talk her out of it, to make June feel valued for something other than her looks. But she had told him he had done all that. The train slowed as they came into Haymarket and he knew that if this is what she wanted to do then he would help and support her. As they got off the train Andrew finally responded as they walked towards the exit.

“You know that I will let you set the pace. Thanks for giving the heads up and the time to think it through in my head. I will take whatever pictures you want.”

She gave him a big hug and a quick kiss. It was going to be an interesting year.

The following morning he and Suzanne arrived within minutes of each other and were soon swimming in adjacent lanes. She stopped after 45 minutes saying that she was pooped and that she would see him in the lobby. Andrew knew he could swim for an additional 15 minutes and still beat her to the lobby. They walked over to Clerk Street and found a café for some breakfast.

“How are you this morning?”

The started chatting once the waitress had taken their order.

“Good Andrew, you?”

They made nothing more than idle chit chat until the food arrived and it was not until the table was clear that he turned their conversation to a more serious topic.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

She smiled at him.

“Sure. Given how we spent last Thursday I doubt that there is much that could surprise or embarrass me.”

“What turns you on?”

“Wow that is an interesting question. What turns me on?”

She mulled it over for a quite a while and then started to blush.

“The way certain guys look, I like guys that are rugged, rather than pretty boys. Those are the kind I am attracted to. That is the initial attraction and then it is how they treat me. I hate grabby guys, always trying to feel up the girls.”

She looked down to indicate what she meant.

“Other than that I am not sure I know myself. The way you treat me in bed turns me on but I am not sure what bits. I like that you can throw me around, that turns me on. Having been weight conscious for years, for that to be utterly irrelevant is a huge turn on. Now that I talk about it, a strong man turns me on. Someone who can lessen my own insecurities. But that is a very fresh feeling.”

She looked at him.

“What made you ask?”

“I have been thinking a lot about what turns me on. Other than knowing that the other person is really enjoying themselves I am not sure what else turns me on? Intelligence, curiosity, openness. They all seem very generic. I look at the people that I have gone out with and there is no pattern. Smartest person in the school, drop out at 16; pasty white, Indian parents; just friends, just someone to fuck; tiny women, bigger women; redheads, blondes, brunettes, jet black hair; A-cup to D-cup. I like women, they turn me on. I don’t care about a lot of characteristics.”

He laughed at himself.

“I am such a slut.”

Suzanne laughed with him but thought about what he had said.

“You do seem to be all over the place. You are very approachable and, if you think about it, you probably know the most women in the school. You coached 30 4^th to 6^th years for two terms. You are a prefect who is known to most of the girls in the senior school. Hannah, Allie, Katie and Tanvi all say nice things about you even although they all dumped you. Then there is us. Your best friend in school is a girl. Mine is a guy. Some of the girls call us the odd couple like the movie. Nobody really understands us but for a lot of people it makes you very safe. We might be odd but you are this nice guy, a safe date.”

She paused while he thought through everything she said then carried on.

“Part of your trouble is that nobody turns you down.”

Andrew looked startled at this but it was true, had anyone laughed at him and said no?

“Exactly, you have had too much choice. Now, close your eyes and describe your dream woman.”

There was only one person that sprang to mind. And Andrew couldn’t even explain to himself why. The one person he was never able to get over. Ara. He looked at Suzanne seeing her intelligence and seeing in her eyes that she knew he had an answer, even although he had said nothing.

“Do you want to talk about her?”

Andrew shook his head.

“Too many complications. But you will meet her this autumn. I have to sort out my own feelings first.”

He drew breath and carried on.

“That was what I needed to think through and discuss. The answer just shocked me that’s all.”

They headed out and Andrew gave her a hug before they separated and he headed down to the Food Bank warehouse. That evening Andrew was having dinner with the Campbells as usual when Brian started talking about investments. Andrew’s memories of these discussions, this specific one as well as generally, was always patchy. They would talk about a lot of things and often the talks were general education about investments and there was rarely anything to look at, review or even a chance to take notes. And complicating a lot of the discussions were issues about money received versus money left to invest because so much money had to be put aside for taxes. Leslie was now reviewing the company accounts with Creighton and between the two of them, as well as Mhairi and Brian, there was no need for Andrew to go through it in detail on top of that. Starting the previous Easter though Leslie made him much more involved in the investment decisions with his money. Andrew had been too passive and trusting with Creighton, not that he had abused that trust, but she wanted Andrew to know how much money he had and what he was doing with it.

At that point he had the car and house fully paid for. The house was generating rent from the company that was renting it for their executive, which was income to him personally. Andrew had to pay tax on that. The rest of his investments were in the company. The farmland that Hugh rented, investments in the stock market and cash. The stocks were all big name British companies, and as well as individual shares Andrew owned shares in funds that invested in the stock market. The cash kept growing as they continued to receive payments from ComputerCom for the last of the petrol station contract. The money was slowing down and everyone knew that by the end of the summer, early autumn at the latest, the contract would be fulfilled and the cheques would cease. The thought that had consumed Andrew for more than a year was what to do with the money? Making a difference while making money was a whole lot more difficult than just investing to let the money grow. He had that part covered but wanted to do something more with the £75,000 of cash he had at the bank. Thus the investment conversation with Brian.

“I have been talking to a few people about your ideas and thoughts about investing small scale and locally, to try and find replacement employment opportunities for displaced workers. Doing something practical rather than leaving it for the government. Are you still interested in those kind of plans?”

“Definitely, I look at how lucky I have been and I want to try to do something with the money I have to make a difference. I have some cash but what I don’t have is the knowledge to evaluate proposals, I don’t even know how we would advertise to get proposals. I want it to be small scale. Look at Julian and me. We were able to make money because we lived at home and were at school. I would invest in someone who wanted to start their own computer company. How much do they need to live a year? Do they have a family? How do I make money from it? Say I gave someone £200 a month for 4 years. Quick and dirty that is ten grand. What do I get at the end of the day for my money? Those are the kind of things I want to explore. Not putting up huge sums but make a deal to support five people for the next four years while they establish a business. If they are successful then they should grow, employ more people and we can cut the deal early and move on and try with someone else. Leslie has talked a lot with me about spreading out risk. Some are bound to fail. I understand that. But I want to try something like this rather than give £50,000 to Creighton and tell him to buy more Tesco or Distillers. That will be safer in the long run but I feel that I should be doing something more.”

“I can see that you are passionate about it. I will arrange dinner one night in the next couple of weeks. I have three friends who I have talked about with this and I think they would listen to what you have to say. I think I am going to take some of my investment funds and join you in this. We may get similar commitments from them. If we are spreading the risk between five of us it spreads any losses and allows us to help more people. You don’t care about control and being the one making the decisions?”

“Nah, you know me when it comes to stuff like that. If we had £250,000 then we could do a lot of good, or at least try to. Let me know when the meeting is and maybe I can come over earlier and we can talk about structure of deals, what we get as our return, stuff like that.”

Later that night as Andrew lay in bed he felt the same way he did when he committed to visiting his grandmother. For someone utterly irreligious Andrew sure felt the karmic balance in his life. Doing something to help others who had not been as lucky as him, not had the same opportunities as him; it felt like a weight had been lifted off him. His spirit, his soul, felt that something had slotted into place. Andrew had no idea what the outcome of this investment was going to be but this was something he felt the need to do. Between the conversation with Brian and Leslie and before she drove him home, Andrew sat and talked with Leslie at length about Thursday with Suzanne, his conversation with June on the train on Saturday and then the conversation with Suzanne again that morning.

“That is a lot to pack into three or four days Andrew. Your conversation this morning highlighted a couple of things though. You asked Suzanne what turned her on but when you answered the same question you ended up realising that Ara is your dream woman. But what did you talk about as your turn-ons Andrew?”

“I think I said intelligence, curiosity and openness. I then went on to talk about all the women I have been out with and how I don’t appear to have a type. Hardly two of them are the same. That is when she asked me to describe my dream woman and I immediately visualised Ara. I never actually talked to Suzanne about Ara.”

“So intelligence turns you on. You are a smart guy so that is no surprise. You don’t seem threatened by intelligence. You openly praise other people, including Allison, and tell everyone that they are smarter than you. Other than Allison I am not sure that is true but you are not threatened by someone’s intelligence. You also don’t know any stupid people, or at least very few. When you say curiosity and openness, what do you mean? The most obvious thing is sexually. Are there others?”

Andrew sat silently thinking about what he had meant.

“If I talk some more then maybe other examples will come to mind but at the moment all I can think about is sex. As I think about all this there are two more turn-ons that I can list. Protectiveness and trust. It turns me on when I am told I am trusted. I would like to think that everyone who I have ever gone out with trusts me. I know that Kate, Katie, Tanvi, June and Suzanne have all mentioned it. June said it yesterday and Suzanne said it this morning. That a woman trusts me is a turn on. When that trust leads to something physical then it is something that I think about at the oddest moments. I will be eating her, or getting a blowjob, and randomly I will think that this is only happening because she trusts me. It is mostly a fleeting thought but I do know I have thought about it. The other way is even more of turn on. Protecting a woman turns me on. Ara, June, Nikki, Tanvi, being recognised as a nice guy, a ‘white knight’ is a turn on.”

“When did you protect Nikki?”

“Ara is the only one I have rescued. The others are more protective feelings.”

“June because of the sleazy photographers, and Tanvi because of her background I get, but I don’t get the Nikki one. Sorry.”

“Nikki is a lesbian Leslie, remember she told you years ago. I am going to Glasgow to take the photographs of her commitment ceremony with her partner Francesca.”

Leslie mouthed formed a perfect ‘O’.

“Shit, I had forgotten, sorry. So you get off on protecting people from the world. So is that part of the attraction to Ara, that she is part Indian?”

It was Andrew’s turn to look shocked. Was it?

“Bloody hell. Maybe, I don’t know.”

“Is there a difference between turn-ons and attraction? I think that is more attraction. What turns you on? The reason I am asking is because of the way you described that last night with Allison. You turned her on Andrew, you did, your words. Did she turn you on? Or did turning her on turn you on?”

Fucking hell. He didn’t even know where to start with that.

“What I have observed as your biggest turn on is making women feel good about themselves. And even more than that, it is making them realise that they don’t need to change. After Moira spent time with you she ended up wearing skin tight jeans. I took Allison and got her the most arrestingly sexy dress I have ever seen. The two of you ended up sitting having dinner with a senior judge while she is sitting there looking this film star sex goddess. More than anything else this is what gets you going.”

Andrew thought about what she was saying.

“You give Andrew. Moira always hated her arse, Allison never thought she could be so sexy. Moira knew what she was doing keeping you at arm’s length. Allison and you flew too close to the sun and down you came. Your best sex has been with the three women you have unleashed the most, Moira, Allison and Suzanne. All physically flawed in the Cosmo ideal body view of the world.”

His head was spinning. The sex with June, and Kenzie, and Mareikura had been great but Leslie was right the sex with the other three was out of this world. It was also no more than once a month. Time for the tension to build, the verbal foreplay to work and for the recovery from the action. Could the sex be that explosive with a regular, daily partner?

“You have told me that Ara is your dream woman, tall, shapely legs, hour glass figure, pretty face, partial ethnic background to protect. But what turns you on Andrew?”

Andrew’s mind was flitting about, no sense of calm to it. He would do anything for his partner without question, kiss her after a blowjob, lick and tongue her arsehole, let her tie him up and control him. He had done all that, the latter two had completely turned on Moira and Allison. And he got off on turning them on. Was that his turn on? To have a partner who would do anything for him without question, who he knew got turned on by them doing anything for him.

Shit, he needed to think through this slowly. If he got turned on by her getting turned on, and she got turned on doing anything for him where did he fit into this matrix if he got turned on doing anything for her knowing that she got turned by that. Hell, Escher was managing this endless loop for him.

“I need to think about this some more Leslie. My head is spinning and I need to get out of an endless Escher loop.”

Leslie gave Andrew a hug.

“I know, that is why I didn’t tell you this when Allison and you broke up. You are a lot of women’s ideal guy, idealised guy, the unicorn that isn’t supposed to exist. We will talk about this some more but it is time you started to realise this and deal with it.”

 

Chapter 2

The potential solution to Andrew’s investment ideas had soothed his karmic balance but the revelations as a result of the conversation with Leslie impacted his emotional balance even more. He thought about what she said on and off over the next couple of weeks. But he was also a teenage boy, with too much time, way too much money and knew a typist who liked to pose for naked pictures.

“Yes?”

Andrew knew Maggie’s parents weren’t the chattiest of souls.

“Can I speak to Maggie, it’s Andy.”

Andrew had coarsened his voice and heard the phone being put down and a shout from her father.

“Hello?”

“Hi, don’t say anything at your end, just yes or no. Are you busy after work tomorrow?”

Andrew could hear the hesitation give way to barely hidden mirth.

“No.”

“Could I prevail upon you to show me your beautiful body and let me photograph it?”

She was full on stifling laughter now.

“Yes.”

“Tony’s at 6.00?”

“Yes.”

“Fantastic. See you tomorrow.”

Andrew had checked with Tony and the studio was not being used. When Maggie turned up she just stood laughing at him.

“You just phone on a random Monday night to see if I will come in here the next day. You sure know how to woo a lady. I thought we were doing an outdoor shoot?”

“First of all thank you for agreeing to this. I would have talked it through with you and asked slightly nicer, or more pleadingly, but you always tell me that you can’t talk at home. And yes the plan is still for an outdoor shoot. I am sitting my driving test in 10 days and if I pass then we can start to really plan that.”

“It is perfect timing. It was my week out of commission last week so this is ideal. Why did you suddenly decide to do another shoot?”

“I need some of your common sense. I am not having trouble with women but I am thinking about them and trying to understand what I feel, how I feel, what I want from a woman. What I find is that you have a perspective that I don’t hear from anyone else. You have talked about the mistakes you made, how you wished you could have done things differently. And you are blunt. I love your attitude of ‘what’s the big deal?’.”

The line between Monica and Maggie was getting ever more blurred. It was Maggie speaking to Andrew while Monica took her clothes off. Maggie called Andrew on it as they started and her skirt fell to the floor.

“Why are we here Andrew and not at the café?”

Andrew flushed but took the camera from his eye to look at her.

“I am 17, perpetually horny and I wanted to see you naked. I could dress it up any way you want but it is the truth.”

Rather than be offended Monica laughed.

“An honest answer. We are very alike. You know I like posing as a model and to know that you are enjoying this, that you have made the conscious choice to chat here rather than at the café excites me. I have been thinking about this a lot and want to talk to you about it later but let’s deal with you first. Why do you think you I will be able to give you an answer?”

In response Andrew explained about Ara, Suzanne and June, he didn’t give any names and omitted some of the details but he talked to Maggie about each of them. Understandably she worked backwards, focusing on June first.

“So you think this third woman is just like me?”

That was how Andrew had described her.

“I do. She has talked openly to me about loving the spotlight, being the centre of attention. And she has been equally candid about considering doing topless and maybe even fully nude shoots soon. And she wants me to be the photographer.”

“Interesting. She is in your year?”

“Yes, she will be 18 in January.”

Maggie was silent for a moment, both of them going through the poses almost like dance moves, intuitively knowing how to pose and when to take the shot.

“I am guessing she is bright, that she could go to university?”

It was an interesting angle that Maggie approached this from.

“Yes. She was in most of my classes.”

“So she has more choices, and potentially more to lose, than I did for example.”

Oh. Andrew caught up to where Maggie was going.

“That is the thing from talking to you. I am of the opinion that it is no big deal, and she is determined. But we both know that there is this obsessive prudish streak in Britain.”

Maggie nodded.

“It goes back to what I want to chat to you about. Okay, so this young woman is excited about being a model and wants you to photograph her. I doubt there is a more qualified guy your age in the city. You will take good photos, you know how to pose the model and you can see how far she wants to go.”

Maggie shrugged, an action that Andrew used all the time.

“The other two are just teenage hormones. Most people’s first attraction is physical, you see someone that you think is attractive or handsome, you like their face or body. Not always but a lot of the time. It is the whole basis of the Friday and Saturday night out ritual. The main part of my answer is don’t overthink what it means. You are just 17, you are going to university in a year and things in your life are going to change. I remember one of my first steady boyfriends, I was 16 and he was 18, and I was in love. Ready to marry the little shit and start spitting out babies. He joins up, full of promises to stay true, we were still a couple, all that crap, in fact at the start he was pushing for me to follow him. Yet I was dumped within weeks. That was the start of the year where I finally learned about men. Fell head over heels, three times, no four times, in a year maybe a year and a half. Dumped by all of them. Once they had fucked me, seen me naked then it was see yah later. It wised me up to what they were after. So I spent the next year being a right bitch and doing the same to a bunch of guys, fucked them and dumped them. Dumped a guy for his brother, and it wasn’t like his brother had to think about it. He was all over me like wallpaper. Dumped another guy for his best mate. Same thing, most men think with their dicks. They had the chance to see the girls and it was ‘which brother, I don’t have a brother’. Now you are not like that and I don’t expect you to treat either of these two the same way. But teenagers are idiots, I was, you are, these two women are. I look back on how I acted and I cringe. So maintain a friendship with both of them, don’t lie but do like you did today. Be honest with them. You wanted to chat to me but also wanted to see me naked. You want to be friends with them but you also want to fuck them. Maybe it is true love, more likely both of you will move on.”

Andrew considered everything Maggie had said. She was sufficiently removed and had just the right amount of cynicism and common sense for what she said to make sense.

“Does it not focus on just the physical?”

“Sure, that is what we have talked about. But there has to be more. I think that is your big issue with the English woman, you haven’t had a chance to get to know her better. You said you first saw her at the Commie, so you’ve seen her in a swimsuit. It is no different for me at a club or disco on a Saturday night. A decent looking bloke in a nice shirt comes over and asks for a dance. Everything after that is how the two of you get on.”

Andrew thought about the absurdity of getting advice about being a teenage boy from a model standing naked in front of him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I feel like a bit of a pig. As you said we could have done this at the café.”

Monica stopped posing and came over to me.

“Stop worrying about that. Come with me a second.”

Andrew followed her to stand in front of a tall mirror. It was one of the props that was used frequently in the studio. Monica pulled Andrew beside her, completely naked.

“Just because you are confused about some of the women in your life doesn’t mean that you don’t understand others. You understand me for instance. I love modelling, it gives me a kick, to do it. So yes we could have chatted in the café over a coffee but honestly I prefer this. I have grown to love my body. All through school I alternated between hating it and loving it. It got me a lot of attention, most of which I didn’t want or like, then I did like it, then I didn’t like it. I was all over the place. Now I love it, I love the effect it has on men. You didn’t ask one of your other friends to come here, you asked me. Because you know that I love coming here. But look at it from my point of view. The door to the café is always opening and closing, it is drafty and we are bundled up, 10 months of the year at least. But here with the lights on, the studio gets hot and you take the layers off, your sweatshirt off. Look at yourself.”

Andrew barely ever stood in front of a mirror, he never worried about his hair so he wasn’t Narcissus.

“When I first met you, even before your cancer scare, you were this tiny kid. But now look at you. You are this enormous, toned monster of a man. And I love how your tee-shirts are always tight on you. You are busy taking photos of me with no clothes on but I am staring right back at you, watching that body ripple inside your tee-shirt. I’ll show you my arse every day of the week and twice on Sundays for that.”

Andrew had to laugh at her words but the sentiment was unarguable. Andrew would never even consider asking Leslie or Suzanne to come to the studio and strip while he chatted to them. But he was okay asking Maggie because she enjoyed it. And he had been told enough times about how women viewed his body. This was just one more instance.

“You see my point?”

Andrew nodded. They returned to the set but Andrew only had three more shots on the roll and they were soon done. Monica grabbed a robe and came and sat beside him.

“It is a good time to chat about what I was thinking about. You asked about the outdoor shoot and I was initially skeptical. Worried about being seen. But then I was thinking about it. It plays into what we just talked about. You asked me here today because you knew I was happy to pose for you. But you have also never pushed my limits, you have accepted them. So sure you can ask me to pose for you and I will happily do it. But you don’t ask me to do more. You don’t try and persuade me to pose with my legs apart, you don’t ‘accidently’ touch me or move me when I am posing. You accept that this is who I am, this is as far as I want to take my modelling. But I have chatted to, or heard about, a lot of models who have different limits. Everybody does.”

“Do you not want to pose outdoors? Are you worried about being seen?”

“No it is the exact opposite Andrew. If we were shooting somewhere remote and a man walking his dog saw me then why should I be bothered. If he was a friend of Malc or Angus or Tony and came along to the studio one Friday then I wouldn’t even be bothered, one more camera to photograph me. It comes back to knowing a person, and in my case knowing myself. This is my secret life, this is the part that no one else knows about. Now I have been photographed by most of the serious amateur photographers in Edinburgh so something like 100 men have seen me naked but I can go to work, go out with my friends and nothing is known about it. That is what I mean with everyone being different. Most of the models want to be recognised, want to be known, they would love nothing better than seeing themselves on Page 3. But I don’t want that. Well deep down I think I do but I don’t want to be just Monica. I like being Maggie too much and my life would change. It took me a long time to make the distinction between the two of them and I realise that I like my life the way it is. Sure I could make more money modelling if I did things differently, posed differently, but I am okay with what I am earning and what I am doing. So when you asked about posing outdoors it was as much the fact it was different that gave me pause. But now I am really excited about it. I don’t want an audience but I realised that if someone saw my arse or saw me in the distance it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Frankly I kind of hope it happens.”

Maggie went to get dressed as Andrew packed up his gear and tidied the studio. As usual they walked to the bus stop.

“Thank you for calling. Like I said I enjoy posing for you more than practically anyone else. I hope you get confused and horny next week!”

Maggie’s kiss did nothing to settle Andrew’s equilibrium. Anything but. And yet Andrew also knew that having someone like Maggie in his life gave him a very different perspective. But he needed a long cold shower when he got home. Hmmm.

After his evening with Maggie Andrew finally put in a full week’s work on the program. They bought the first of the UK rated IBM PCs that week and once they had it set up worked hard on converting the program. The conversion was more time consuming rather than difficult. He and Julian chatted for chunks of each day catching up on the news and really just reconnecting. Andrew had been busy in June and most of July and Julian had been tied up through all of May and the start of June with his 1^st year university exams. Unlike Andrew, he had also gone on a two week sun and sex holiday to Majorca. It was marketed slightly differently but that was a more honest description of the 14 days. Up late, horsing around in the pool and at the beach. Nap, then out at 10.00 to drink and chat up women. Julian was never going to be a ‘player’ but he had done okay. His only comment.

“I made some new friends.”

Andrew had never been that person but he imagined making plans for a couple of weeks off the following summer. At the end of the week Leslie came over and the three of them sat and discussed the business. There had been two random spasms of activity in the autumn of the previous year and late winter of that year but other than that they had heard nothing from either of the buyers or any of the computer resellers.

“What do we do next?”

Andrew opened the discussion.

“We are guessing at features now and we need customer feedback to make meaningful improvements. Neither the British nor North Rhine-Westphalia governments have ever responded to any letters. We know that we sold the software to the Treasury departments in both cases but neither are the main users of the software. The Ministry of Defence had some of them because that is how the Germans must have found out about it. We have no idea which departments the Germans use it in. Still nothing from CSG or any of the other computer sales companies?”

Leslie shook her head.

“Nothing at all.”

Andrew turned to Julian

“What do you think we should do?”

“Finish the conversion so that it works fully on the IBM PC and then see where we are. Have another session like we did when we originally decided to make AIMS. Let’s look and see if there is anything else that we can create. I think we also should think about the selling part first and then work back. We have this great program but other than a couple of sales nobody knows about it.”

This was the key point of the whole session. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound? AIMS was the tree but without sales did anyone care?

“Do you think you could call Steve Glamp and ask him if he has heard anything? You did get him a promotion and he should at least return your call.”

Leslie made a good point. Andrew had not contacted since he had heard from him the previous autumn. That was all they could do. Andrew would call Steven on the Monday morning and see if he would talk to him but other than that Julian was right. Finish the current conversion and then think about the future. That night Andrew called Suzanne.

“Hey, do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

Andrew figured a morning or afternoon of hockey practice would be a good change for them. They would head down from Warrender to Goldenacre and practice for a couple of hours. It was the summer and Andrew wanted to get out and enjoy the weather. He would be covered to protect himself from the sun but he wanted to enjoy the short Scottish summer. What Andrew didn’t realise was that Suzanne would in turn tell a bunch of her friends who were as equally bored as they were. When he and Suzanne reached Goldenacre there were five other players from the two teams. Andrew shook his head, all of a sudden this had become a training session. The first hour they were all rusty but once everyone had their share of embarrassing moments things started to settle down. He worked on breakout plays with even the regular forwards taking turns. One of the grounds staff had come over but when they identified themselves as pupils he wandered off again. After a couple of hours they called a halt.

“That was a good laugh. We should see who else wants to come out. Can we do this again?”

Sarah one of upcoming year’s 5^th years was ready for more. Everyone looked at Andrew.

“You don’t need me to come down here and practice.”

“You seemed to have a plan Andrew. It is better when there is a focus as opposed to a bunch of us goofing off. Wednesday?”

“I have something I have committed to already for Wednesday, and I am out of town next Saturday. How about Thursday morning and Sunday morning? 10.00 until noon?”

It was agreed and everyone said they would phone around and see if they could round up a few more players. What had started as him and Suzanne spending some time in the fresh air, getting some exercise had ended up as an unofficial practice. Goldenacre is way down from the city centre, in an area of Edinburgh called Trinity, close to but not beside the sea. It was a good two hour walk from there back to Suzanne’s house.

“Why don’t we grab a bite to eat and then walk back to mine? It is a lovely day and we always chat when we are walking. You can stay for dinner if you want. Mum often asks if you are coming over. Dad is away golfing this weekend so how about it?”

“Sure, I mean what can your mother do? Ask me my intentions?”

Suzanne giggled.

“Ask me to explain why your bedroom reeked of sex 10 days ago?”

She laughed and whacked him.

“Ask me if it was my idea for you to be sitting at the dinner table without knickers on.”

Suzanne squealed.

“Andrew! I can’t believe you said that.”

He laughed.

“No what you can’t believe is that you are thinking of doing it”

Andrew was called many names and whacked many times, but at no point was it denied.

A snack lunch had them on their way. Suzanne asked what he was doing the following Saturday and Andrew explained it was a party for some friends, 100% true if not 100% complete. He did tell her that it was Nikki who she and Paula had met all those years ago.

“So are you going to talk to me about your dream woman?”

“The problem is that my dream woman is just that – a dream. I don’t know how much the dream is grounded in reality. Is there attraction between us? Sure but I don’t think it trumps everything else. She is a university student who has already completed two years of her degree. So our timing is way off. But the big thing is that her mother has plans for her, like old fashioned ‘daughter married off to the local noble’ type plans. She is completely ignoring what Ara wants. Sorry, her name is Arabella.”

“Another older woman, there seems to be a recurring pattern in there Andrew.”

Suzanne was teasing.

“Does she like you?”

He nodded in response.

“That’s a pretty tough situation to be in. Do you think you have a chance?”

Well there’s the £64,000 question.

“I don’t know. I called her last summer, just to keep in touch, say hi. I had met her at swimming and we eventually hit it off. I was only 15 when I met her and she was in first year at Edinburgh University. Not ideal. We finally talked some more and I promised to call her over the summer. Like I said I called three times. Her mother ran interference and answered the phone each time, and never passed the message on. When your mother is a complete snob what are the chances of anything happening with the Scottish guy whose grandfathers were a butler and a bus driver? Not what Mummy wants her darling little daughter marrying into.”

“Your grandpa was really a butler?”

Andrew nodded.

“Yes. My one living grandmother was one of the upstairs maids.”

Andrew raised his eyebrows and Suzanne gasped then giggled.

“Anyway, Ara and I are trying to work out how to be friends. We will get there. I am going to make an effort to introduce her to everybody this autumn. Leslie, Julian and you will all meet her. Probably best not together. The Andrew stories would be awful. Like when Nikki came for Christmas dinner and recounted how three weeks earlier I had brought you and Paula on a date to the Food Bank warehouse.”

Suzanne laughed at the memory.

“Lord, I had forgotten that. You still work there every week?”

“Coming on for three and a half years now. Missed maybe 10 weeks with camps and trips. That is why the practice will be over by noon on Sunday so that I can head over to Meadowbank afterwards.”

The stories and reminiscing kept them distracted but they were tired and sore from two hours of hockey followed by two plus hours of walking. Suzanne led Andrew into the house. Mrs. Jenner was sitting in the kitchen talking to another mother-aged lady.

“Hi Mum, Andrew is going to stay for dinner if that is okay?”

“Hello Andrew. How nice to see you again. It has been quite a while since you have been here.”

“Older but no wiser Mrs. Jenner. Nice to see you too.”

The other woman was looking at him with interest.

“Andrew? Are you Andrew McLeod?”

“Eh, yes ma’am.”

He had no bloody clue who this woman was.

“I am Veronica Martin’s mother. She was on the hockey team last year.”

“Oh right, it is difficult to picture people when we are not all bundled up against the weather. Yes I was the assistant coach for both elevens although mainly the first eleven in term two.”

“Yes that idiot father. It drove the team mad and it was tough on the daughter. Difficult to make friends when your father is acting the idiot.”

Mrs. Jenner had obviously not heard the story and Mrs. Martin did a quick recap.

“What was he worried about? Andrew is the nicest, safest guy at the school.”

High praise from Mrs. Jenner.

“Exactly, nobody could get an answer out of him that made any sense. It boiled down to that Andrew was a young man and the players were all young women. That appeared to be the clinching argument.”

Suzanne was trying to extract them from the conversation but the mothers were having none of it. Then Vanessa and another girl arrived, who it turned out was the little sister of Veronica, Theresa. The giggle quotient went through the roof and that finally allowed them to extricate themselves from the kitchen.

Andrew was in a stupid mood and was teasing Suzanne.

“When you are going upstairs to take off your knickers? All dinner all you are going to be able to think about is your bare pussy. Then you’ll remember what I like to do to that bare pussy.”

He had to dive off the sofa to avoid the whacks that were raining down on him thick and fast.

“You git, you complete git. Now all I can think about is that.”

They both laughed and turned on the TV. Vanessa and Theresa came through because there was nowhere else in the whole house they would rather be. Theresa was staying over and had just been dropped off when Andrew and Suzanne got there. Andrew was a past master at ignoring little sisters and totally tuned her out. Suzanne was still prone to outbursts but when he pointedly talked to Suzanne and ignored the twin brats they left, bottom lips leading the way their pouts were so severe.

Dinner was harmless. Mrs. Jenner asked some leading questions but the presence of the younger pair got in the way of a full-fledged interrogation. Andrew escaped straight after dinner. Suzanne stood on the porch and gave him a full body hug and kiss. She pulled his hands down onto her arse and Andrew felt no underwear. She looked at him, lowered her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

“Guess what you’ll be thinking about tonight Andrew.”

With a wink and a smile the door was closed in his face.

Play with matches, get burnt. Ouch.

 

Chapter 3

Andrew called Suzanne the following day and she spent the whole time giggling. He loved that she had got her own back on him. But her teasing made him realise that he needed to get re-acquainted with that wonderful firm arse.

Brian had set up the investment meeting for the next Tuesday evening so Andrew decided to skip dinner with the Campbells on the Sunday night. Leslie had mentioned that she might be out that night anyway. He needed to sit down and talk to his friend, find out some of the details of her life that she had hidden away. All three of them were too good at being discreet, although he still filled her in on all his adventures. Ara called on Sunday night and seemed even lower than when he had spoken to her earlier in the summer. It had been a tough three weeks. She could not wait to escape to her grandfather’s place in York. Several times she had gone to her father’s office and found an empty seat where someone was on holiday and just sat and studied. Between her mother and her brother she was being driven bonkers at home. It was good to hear her voice but as she talked away, Leslie’s words echoed in his mind. ‘What turns you on?’ Did Ara turn him on? Andrew had nowhere near enough information but the attraction was there, that was for sure. He started thinking about trying to see Ara while she was in Yorkshire. If he passed his test, he could drive down and she could drive up, meet in the middle. Newcastle? Andrew didn’t mention anything to her, he still had the test to pass.

The meeting with Brian and his friends was interesting, although a little nerve-wracking. Brian got Andrew to explain his idea again to the group. But this was a chance for the group to meet him rather than a sales job. At one time or another most of them had talked about doing something similar. Increasing the pool of money and spreading the risk was something they were all okay with. Andrew spent more time talking about the company and its success in the market than trying to convince them that this was a good idea. As usual the idea in principle was easy, the execution of the idea and setting the structure up was more difficult. There were many letters, phone calls and a couple of meetings that summer before everything was all lined up, and more importantly papered appropriately. The short version was they set up a fund and everyone got 20%, one of the guys was a lawyer so he did the paperwork and they used his office as an address. Another of them was in the investment industry and he was going to be the conduit for any initial investment proposals. Advertising was going to be all word of mouth; these guys were all well connected and wanted to see what happened, whether this was an idea with some legs. Everyone knew that it would take years to allocate all the initial money and had gone in with their eyes open.

And although it took a while there was a sense of achievement when it was up and running. Andrew knew that he, Leslie and Julian had worked hard on their software. But compared to the amount of money that the software had made for the three of them it still seemed too easy somehow. Even before the meeting both Leslie and Creighton had warned Andrew that he was likely to lose some, if not all, of his money. This was about as risky a use for his money that he could have dreamed up. And Brian and Doug, the guy in the investment industry, had been equally blunt with him. None of them were doing this to just throw the money away but there were going to be some losses and everybody made sure that Andrew was going into this with his eyes open.

The final thing that this new investment fund highlighted to Andrew was how superficial his relationship with his parents was. Life was perfectly pleasant in the house, there was less tension between himself and his parents, and between his parents. But Andrew realised that his lies of omission with his parents were gradually turning into lies of commission. He constantly underplayed what he was up to, how much money he was making and this was just the latest example. He brought the paperwork home for his father to sign and blithely lied to him, calling it ‘just moving a little money around into a new fund’. Andrew made it sound routine and prosaic and his dad signed in the indicated places. These moments were always nerve-wracking if only because it was a chance for either of his parents to ask about his money. This time his dad signed without any follow-up questions. It was as if Andrew paid £100 a month to be left alone and to be asked none of these questions. He did talk about his life over the dinner table but often this set Rowan off and the questions were short-circuited. The last five years had hardened Rowan’s attitude and she knew that if she started to make a fuss Andrew would wander off. His parents were never going to win parents of the year but then again he wasn’t in the running for son of the year either. But a comfortable equilibrium existed, with minimal parenting and little outward displays of love and affection.

But such thoughts were far from Andrew’s mind the next day. He sat on his front step the following morning thinking about the previous evening and about the utter mismatch of events that was his life. From serious business discussions with grown-ups and investment decisions costing tens of thousands of pounds to waiting to be picked up by his friend who wanted to be a model and may take her clothes off for the camera today. June looked nervous when she collected him and explained they were going to start at her house. Andrew had guessed they would be there at some point although starting there was interesting. Andrew’s approach to the day was to use his experience learned with Monica and create a shoot for June. They had talked about this, probably endlessly from her point of view, she wanted to be photographed and Andrew was going to help her. No ‘are you sure?’ just quality photographs. At least that was the plan.

June’s back garden was not overlooked and they took most of the shots there. It backed onto a golf course so there were no houses in the background to the shots. June’s hobby was sewing and fashion, and she had talent. Generally she was creative and artistic, so fashion and clothes designing were her medium of displaying that creativity. Andrew was amazed at the range of clothes that she had made. Some were simple, a straight skirt, a scarf, whilst others were complicated looking creations. She never said anything at the start but he quickly picked up that this was a portfolio shoot of all her clothes, the basis for an application to fashion program or something like it. June herself remained a very neutral presence in the photos, trying to replicate the position and pose each time. There was a stillness to her, trying to act like a mannequin. It was hot work in the summer sun but they worked their way through the large number of outfits. By lunchtime they had finished that part of the shoot.

“Thank you for that Andrew. I was going to shoot in a few favourites but when I was laying them out last night to select which ones I realised that I don’t have a record of all the pieces. After lunch can you reposition the camera and explain to me the focusing basics please. I have made three outfits for you and I want to see if they fit and how they look. Would you mind modelling for me?”

Andrew had never considered it but he thought why not?

“Sure. It is straight forward and you have a good eye. You can take a number of shots and I am sure they will be crisp and in focus.”

The clothes June had made for him were her first attempts at male clothing. She had a pair of shorts that fitted nicely at the front, they looked great, although they were loose in the seat. She took some notes but still took the shot front on. The shirts were a mixed bag. Because June had never asked to measure him, she didn’t want anyone to know that she was trying to design something for someone other than herself, the fit was off. Most of them were too tight across Andrew’s chest. By the time she had finished shooting him he wondered if it was deliberate. Lots of shots of him with the shirts open, all he needed was a bleeding medallion. Still it was fun, they would see how the shots looked when he finished developing the rolls. As Andrew thought about it, nothing they had done so far needed to be developed in private and he was still being careful and trying to limit his time with the chemicals in the darkroom. All of the shots from the morning could go to a commercial developer. The afternoon on the other hand….

“Can we change the focus from the clothes to me now Andrew? I need your feedback as you take the photos. Tell me how you want me to pose, the photographer needs to be in charge. Okay?”

The next hour went by in a flurry of sexy poses, tight tops, loose tops and a surprisingly relaxed attitude. Most of the pictures could be developed commercially but Andrew agreed with June that they would develop these ones privately. But June wanted to be pushed so Andrew started to give her a gentle nudge.

“I liked that little sundress you made. Why don’t you go and change? It is the perfect dress for some flirty summer shots.”

If there was one thing June knew how to do it was flirt. But Andrew only took three or four shots before he changed the dynamic.

“Are you ready to be pushed a little?”

June’s eyes were as eager as her expression.

“Take off your bra and then put the dress back on.”

June hadn’t been expecting that and gawped for just a second. But then she nearly ripped the dress in her rush to get her bra off. Once they restarted shooting the dynamic had changed. Andrew moved June around in her back garden. Any of the positions were fine but he wanted her to be conscious of her body, of her breasts moving freely under her dress. Also, although the sundress was nice June still needed to tailor it and it was loose and billowy across her bust. June had to be careful not to pop out of the arm holes as they were cut slightly too low.

“Take your knickers off.”

Again there was a moment of surprise before June pulled her little knickers off. The first poses were stilted and unnatural.

“What is the matter? You look like you are dressed exactly the same as you were this morning. The only people who know differently are you and me. Should we stop and go down to the corner shop to get a Coke? You talk about how you like people looking at you. Do you think everyone will be looking at you? Everyone will know that you are naked under your dress? Or is it all in your mind?”

Andrew let June marinate on these thoughts.

“I don’t think I understand why it seems so different. This was sneakily brilliant of you.”

Andrew finished the roll of film and loaded his final one into the camera. But the last roll of shots of June were different to the previous one. You could see her relax and for the last 10 or 12 shots she was lying in the grass on her stomach, her heels kicked up and the dress inches below her arse cheeks. 24 shots and she was a different woman. When the final shot was taken June pulled the camera from Andrew’s hands and dragged him to her bedroom.

If Andrew had any doubts about whether this turned June on or not, when he went down on her and nearly drowned, these doubts were laid to rest. June Wyatt was a seriously turned on young lady. After the initial blow job to clear his pipes June kept sucking until he was hard again, pushed him back onto the bed and just went crazy. The condom was barely on before she dropped straight down onto him and her hidden Brazilian heritage came out. There was some serious sambaing going on with her hips. Andrew knew this was not about him and let her ride through the first two orgasms. Once her immediate itch was scratched Andrew flipped June onto her back and drove them home for the big finish. Barely 15 minutes after leaving the garden they were lying on their backs sweating in the afternoon summer heat.

“I think we can safely say that modelling turns you on.”

June nodded and rolled onto her side.

“I knew that I liked modelling. But it was more than that today. You spent the time and effort on all the shots this morning but then you used one of my own dresses as a prop for the afternoon. I had no idea what the afternoon was going to be like. I have sexy underwear, stockings and suspenders all in a drawer over there. But instead you used one of my own dresses. And then when you asked me to take my bra off, you then used the too big arm holes as a way to highlight my braless state. I have gone out without a bra a few times, but wearing a top where I didn’t have to concentrate in case I popped out. It was amazing the difference. And the same with the knickers. It took me a while to get my head back into the game, you saw that. What you did was so simple yet completely different to what I had pictured in my own head.”

June paused and channelled her inner Suzanne, biting her bottom lip.

“We will do more shoots, yes?”

“Yes, of course we will. I will drop off the clothes rolls from this morning and get them developed but will keep the afternoon shots and develop them next week with the ‘wedding’ pictures. Then we can look through them and see what worked, what didn’t and if either of us have ideas for the next time. Okay?”

June leaned over and kissed him.

“Perfect.”

They quickly showered and while June tidied her room and put her clothes away Andrew carefully repacked all his camera gear before getting a lift back home. He so needed to hurry up and pass his driving test.

The commitment ceremony of Nicolette Papadakos and Francesca Conte, Andrew’s friends Nikki and Fran, was a day full of love and emotion. He blocked out as much of that as he could at the time and concentrated on the pictures. He could and would think about the day later. He wanted to make sure that he took great photographs. The weather cooperated and the ceremony was outside with the views down the hill to the loch. Andrew captured the looks of love as they walked to centre stage through all their friends. Their vows were sweet and heart felt. He quietly scooted round the audience of friends and caught both their faces as they made their commitment. Then, as at a wedding, there was food, drink and dancing. Andrew didn’t go too overboard on the pictures as he was doing all the developing. He ended up with six rolls of film, about one hundred and fifty shots and was hopeful that most of them would turn out well. Still as he packed the camera up and safely stowed it in June’s car he was aware of the pressure to have captured all the key moments.

The guest list was just around 60 people, with roughly two thirds gay and lesbian friends and the remainder straight couples or people. The people watching was amazing, with some funny moments, some great awkward moments but everyone had a good time. It was not a sit down meal, it was lots of finger food so that people could move around and mingle. Sadly only one family member came to the ceremony, although Andrew was not sure many were invited, but Nikki’s niece, Diane, was there, the oldest of the next generation. He was pleased that Nikki had someone there but it was also stark that two women from large families had just one family member witness this most important of days.

Diane spent a lot of the time chatting to June during the reception while Andrew took the last of the pictures. Once he had finished the photography the three of them chatted away. They were the youngest people there by quite a margin, Andrew was 15 years younger than Nikki and 16 younger than Fran. They really were nearly old enough to be his mothers. When the speeches started there was no format or structure anyone who wanted to say something jumped in and it was wonderful to hear about the life they had constructed together in Glasgow. Then the happy couple said a few words, lots of thanks and lots of sharing memories. But guess who was not getting off scot free?

“Before we finish there is one person here who we want to thank especially. Our friend Andrew McLeod who took all the pictures today.”

There was a smattering of applause.

“But Andrew is more than just the photographer, more importantly he is one of our dearest friends. Probably our first friend as a couple. Four years ago I managed to out myself to Andrew. The very first straight person I ever came out to, was a 13 year old boy. Do you know what he said and did that day? Nothing, shrugged his shoulders and told me to be myself. I have never forgotten those simple words, be myself. Andrew turned 14 and for six months he was my confidante, every week as we worked at the Food Bank. Where a lot of people like nothing better than to label and judge, Andrew is not like that. Life would be better for us all, for everybody, if there were more people like him in it.”

They didn’t embarrass him too much and he came up and gave them both big hugs. A lot of the guests were staying at the inn and so the booze started to flow. Andrew and June took that as their cue to leave and were one of the first guests away.

“I am going to develop the pictures this week so I will have them ready for you when you get back.”

They were taking a 10 day holiday together in Europe as a sort of honeymoon.

“Enjoy yourself and we will arrange to get together to look through the photographs when you return.”

The final hugs and kisses were fierce and Andrew left his newly committed friends to a night of drunken fun. He and June were silent for a long time on the drive home.

“Nikki really came out to you when you were 13?”

“Yes she did. It was her own worries and reactions that did it. She thought I knew, or I realised or something like that. I saw her talking to a woman we had met at the Food Bank. It had never even crossed my mind. It was all in Nikki’s head. I was less than six months removed from beating cancer and although I was on the way to recovery I was still a scrawny runt of a kid. After surviving cancer it made most things seem much less important. That and the fact that I had not been prejudiced against gays or lesbians, it was something that I had never thought about. When she told me she liked other women I just shrugged, I didn’t know at the time how many people are adamantly against it. Not being religious helped, a lot of the prejudice comes from the various churches.

“Anyway, for me I try not to judge. That was one of the key things I took away from my time in hospital. Who are you living your life for? Live life for yourself, be yourself. I study all the time and don’t worry about what people think or say. Same with coaching the hockey team. I came to that conclusion with you as well. You are who you are, and how you want to express that is up to you.”

“It is a good attitude to have Andrew. I was so happy to help although most of my help was two weeks ago. I am like you, I don’t care what people say or do. It was interesting for me to actually see gay and lesbian people be comfortable enough that they could be themselves. For so many of them they must put on this daily mask. The images of guys kissing guys and women kissing other women hadn’t filtered all the way down into my mind. It was a new level of real when you saw it as opposed to it being a theory.”

“I know what you mean. Fran and Nikki had been loving around me before so I was not as surprised at that but the first time I saw a couple of guys kissing it took me aback. That is what it means in reality. As you said, a new level of real.”

As they got to the outskirts of Edinburgh Andrew knew he and June had learned something about themselves that day.

The following week Andrew introduced June to Tony and they chatted on and off as he developed the 10 rolls of film. Developing was much quicker than printing all the photographs and early in the afternoon June headed home. Sitting in the red light going through print after print when he had to be conscious of the time in the different trays soon got boring for her. But by the end of the second day he had all 250 prints finished.

“That was quite the collection of films you had to develop.”

It was a statement but Andrew understood there was a question behind it.

“It was. Some of them were from a party June and I were at, the rest were of June modelling clothes she had designed and made. I think she is putting a portfolio together to apply to some kind of fashion program.”

Andrew shrugged, his lie stumbling upon the truth inadvertently.

“How are things here?”

“Same as usual. Busier in the summer with the tourists, lots of people are over at the University with the Festival. We sell a ton of film, although not much else to the tourists. My regular business is pretty steady month to month. My core customers are the serious hobbyists, the guys doing their own printing, even if I develop the film for them. Film, developing, photo paper, all the chemical supplies, there is a nice steady business with all that. Occasional equipment purchases are nice but they are not something I depend on. What about you? Summer been relaxed?”

“It has been. You know I am into computers and so I have been playing around with some software, it fills in the days. And I am off on Sunday for two weeks to work at the farm again.”

“I never see you as the farmer type. What do you do?”

“A lot of paperwork if truth be told.”

Andrew smiled as Tony laughed.

“But I milk the cows morning and night, clean and sterilise the equipment and then just work through the list of chores. I have helped bring in the barley harvest. Helped the vet deal with the cattle. Whatever needs done.”

“You really milk the cows?”

“If the cows could attach the suction cups to their udders they would milk themselves. They are waiting at the gate, walk into the shed and most of them go to the same stall every time. There are a couple you need to hurry up but most of them are well trained. I spend more time cleaning the milking equipment than getting the cows organised.”

“I suppose if they are being milked morning and night every day then they get used to it.”

Andrew nodded.

“How is everything else? You are not as round as much as you used to be.”

“There never seems to be enough time. I study all the time Tony, you know what I am like. I think back to the year before I had cancer and it seemed like I was here all the time. But then I lost the year and each year since I have had to study harder.”

“Have you thought about coming back to shoot with us on a Friday night?”

“I am in the fortunate position that I can afford to shoot Monica on my own, be able to pay you and pay her. I still remember Kenny and the other guy dicking me about the one time I came. Sure it would be nice to see some of the guys, say hi to Danny for instance, but the shoots with Monica on her own are more relaxed, we laugh more. To be honest I don’t miss it.”

“What about a different model? There are four or five that we use fairly regularly. Two of them are okay with open leg posing.”

Andrew didn’t know why he wasn’t more excited at the thought of photographing other models, and more explicitly. But he had shot Monica repeatedly and it excited him, in a variety of ways, some of which he didn’t really understand. He had just shot June the previous week in a sundress and nothing else. He had a feeling he would be shooting her at least topless within weeks. There was something about shooting tamer photos but with people he knew and liked that appealed to him more than some random woman lying back and spreading her legs. But he couldn’t figure out how to explain that to Tony.

“I will think about it. Let me get through the time at the farm and I will let you know, okay?”

The classic fobbing off. When he got home June came over to the house and he gave her the prints, the ones of her clothes he had collected from Boots as well as the ones he had done himself. He would talk to her after working at the farm and figure out what had worked, what looked good and when the next shoot was going to be. That there was going to be other shoots was not in doubt.

The days in the darkroom distracted Andrew from worrying about his driving test. It was scheduled for Thursday morning and for once he was not confident for a test. He had reason to be nervous as it was touch and go, including stalling in the middle of an intersection, but he scraped a pass and was a qualified driver. The very next day he received confirmation of passing all his Higher exams with ‘A’ grades which he was happy to have confirmed but had not been stressing about. So there Andrew was at the end of the first week of August with the summer break disappearing rapidly before him. Sunday night he was heading to the farm for two weeks and then there were only two days before school started.

That Saturday night he and Leslie went out for dinner and talked as usual as they ate, and afterwards when they went for a stroll. Andrew tried to focus on Leslie rather than himself but she was reluctant to share much. She was seeing someone and it was still too new and personal to go into any details. He understood but did wish that there was more of a balance in their discussions. It always felt to him that she listened to him way more than he listened to her. But it was her choice and he had to respect it. The lack of success with AIMS had impacted all three of them but Leslie was feeling it most acutely.

Andrew and Suzanne had not managed to recreate their epic day together and were both antsy the next day at the Pool. He was seriously considering getting Leslie to book a hotel room for him so they could have some alone time. That this seemed completely over the top was the only thing holding him back. Suzanne looked great and her arms and legs were significantly more toned than four months earlier. Andrew had cupped her arse briefly while they were in the water and unobserved. It was strong and firm while still being wide and soft. It was some kind of design miracle that her arse could be both firm and soft at the same time. He had visions back to the breakfast bar and was grateful to be waist deep in the water. Suzanne giggled at his reaction but also pushed back against his hands. They were the absolute epitome of horny teenagers. Gah.

Andrew’s first week at the farm followed a very familiar pattern. Looking after both types of cattle, in the morning and evening but otherwise he was in the farmhouse working through quite a backlog of paperwork. Every time he came out there were more forms to fill in, the EEC really did float on a sea of paper. He thought about asking Josephine if she stopped doing the paperwork in the run up to him coming out because she knew Andrew would help her catch up. It seemed too cheeky to ask but he had his suspicions. Mac was his usual quiet self and Kenzie never came up in conversation. Andrew had no way of knowing where she was or how she was and could think of no way to enquire without raising questions as to why.

On the middle Saturday first thing in the morning Andrew went with his mum and bought a car although it would be the following weekend before he would collect it. He would have preferred to go with Julian or Leslie but he needed his mum there to sign off on the purchase. The dealership wasn’t going to sell a car to a 17 year old. He bought a ‘hot hatchback’ as they were called at the time, a Golf GTi. When the guys at school found out they were pretty jealous as it was the car all teenage boys dreamed of having. Andrew always had to smile, for the last two and half years he had 170mph Ferrari supercar in a garage, if only they had known. The smile faded though as he also realised that he had never even seen it since it had been restored and had never driven it. It was even more chastening to realise that he didn’t actually know where it was storied. The house and the Ferrari could have been miniatures in a locked display case for all that he got to use them. When they got home Leslie and Julian were waiting in the drive.

“Where did you go so early? We wanted to surprise you with the news.”

“Mum and I went to buy my car. What news?”

“The North Rhine-Westphalia government want us to meet them and talk about another order. We don’t know how many but they want us to meet them in Dusseldorf. Who should go?”

Andrew sank down onto his bed as he absorbed the news.

“Mhairi, you and either Julian or his dad I think. Probably his dad, although I would want to make sure Mhairi is okay with it. Would you be okay Julian?”

“It would be nice to go but we will have a much better chance of closing the deal with Dad than with me.”

This had all come out of the blue after months of Leslie and Mhairi pestering them. Andrew didn’t know what to make of it. It sure took his mind of the fact he had just bought a two year old car. He was back at the farm early on Sunday not long after the Strachans had left. Harry had a list of things that he wanted Mac, Eddie and Andrew to get done with names tagged against each task. He had gone through Andrew’s tasks with him on the Friday afternoon. The days were long but Andrew didn’t mind, he enjoyed his time at the farm. Each afternoon he was in the farmhouse completing the paperwork. There was no sign of Kenzie and her father never mentioned her so Andrew was resigned to not seeing her during this visit, and if this was the last time he worked at the farm then he may not see her again.

But she did show up, tired, heavier, pushing a stroller. The vibrant, healthy, confident woman that he had first met had been replaced by a tired woman who did not look like she was taking care of herself. It was a shock, seeing how she had changed. Andrew didn’t know why she came over, they struggled to find anything to chat about, other than the baby. When she handed him Andrew was reminded of Scott, his little brother. Scott was almost three and on the go constantly while Kenzie’s kid was just at the stage of starting to pull himself up. He was at the big lump stage. Andrew wanted to ask how she was but was concerned that it would bring her present condition into stark relief. She also did not make any mention of a husband or boyfriend or any reference to the child’s father. Andrew kept waiting for her to say something but she gave him no openings, it was grim at times. Mercifully the visit was over after an hour and she retrieved Darren and took him off to find his grandfather. Andrew gave her a hug as she left. He didn’t know it at the time but it was the last time he ever saw her.

As a result Andrew had trouble sleeping that night and his final day at the farm passed in a tired fog. His father collected him, for the last time, around 8.00 that night and Andrew was looking forward to a quiet night and then collecting his car the next day. His goals for the weekend involved nothing more than trying to avoid getting a speeding ticket. The best laid plans etc.

 

Chapter 4

On the journey back into Edinburgh Andrew’s dad told him that Leslie, Julian and Mhairi had all called and that Andrew had to phone Leslie as soon as he was home. He said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was waiting for them at the house. Surprise, she went one better and her and Julian were at the house when he got home. He managed to say hi to his mum and was then dragged through to his room.

“We were in Germany yesterday and this morning. We just got back three hours ago. The government of North Rhine-Westphalia are considering making a huge purchase.”

Leslie looked like she was about to burst with excitement.

“Okay, how many?”

“They have committed to 100,000, potentially double that but there is a major problem.”

“£3.5m? Get out of here. Bloody hell. What is the problem?”

“They want to buy from a German company.”

Andrew seemed to be spending a lot of time sitting down and trying to process large financial problems.

“Okay, I suppose that makes sense. We set up the Isle of Man Company for stuff like this. Let’s get Mhairi working on starting a German company as well. Creighton will cry when we tell him but he’ll figure it out.”

Andrew’s solution to every business problem, get the lawyer and the accountant involved.

“No Andrew, they want to buy it from a proper German company. As a German state government they have to be seen to be buying German. They love the product but we have to license it to a German company to clinch the sale.”

Rarely was Andrew at a loss for words but he was tired, hungry and totally confused by this requirement.

“Let me get some dinner while I think about this. What do your two dads and Mhairi say?”

“Julian’s dad thinks that they have a buyer in mind. They want the product, but procurement want to buy German. One of the big German conglomerates probably.”

“Is an order of 200,000 copies realistic? That is way more than we ever thought we would sell. £7m, it just doesn’t seem likely. What’s that DM30m or something close to it?”

Leslie nodded.

“Dad thinks that 200,000 is the real number. This is the largest state government but if we sell to a German company then they could sell it to the other states. Dad said to sell it for £10m and a fiver a copy of any other sales.”

Andrew had stood up to go through and get some food but had to sit down again at that point. Julian jumped back in.

“Dad also said we should only sell a licence for them in Germany, nowhere else. The North Rhine-Westphalia government is a major feather in our cap and could lead to sales in France or Italy or wherever. We should find a bunch of guys like Dieter to handle the translation.”

Leslie could see Andrew was flagging.

“We will be back tomorrow and I’ll drive you down to get your car, but then we have to go and see Mhairi and figure this out. In some ways we are back to our usual stumbling block of having a product to sell and no one to sell it. But this time in Germany on top of everything else.”

It was good that Andrew was tired and he quickly fell into a dreamless sleep. The numbers that were being bandied about were fantastic, and fantastical, but the last 18 months tempered his excitement. He wondered how real this would all be when it came time for the Germans to spend the money. What he really needed was a swim but had to settle the next morning for a long hour and 20 minute run. He ate a huge breakfast just to remind his mother he was home and then Leslie and Julian turned up, in separate cars. The three of them were going to end up convoying it to Mhairi’s office. After picking up the car he never even got a chance to savour it, Leslie had them heading straight to the city centre.

As they drove in Andrew thought about the corporate structure they had created. After Julian learned of the Faith and how she was the reason Andrew and Leslie were working on the business, he spent a long time thinking about what he wanted to do with his share. He finally came to them one day and said that he was already doing better than he ever thought and that he wanted to be part of the solution as well. Cancer affects every family, nobody escapes its touch and he had relations who had suffered and died from the disease. So Julian proposed that 70% of the company be owned by a trust that would be the long term vehicle to fund the research and that the three of them retain 10% each personally. It capped the amount that any of them saw personally but it did give them some freedom and flexibility. Both Leslie and Andrew had hugged and thanked him at the time and so that was how it was laid out. At the top was the trust that owned 70% of Jullesand, with each of their three individual companies holding 10% of the shares. Leslie had given back the 10% in Andrew’s company when she set up her own. The old JA computer company was made inactive once they were sure there was no more income coming from ComputerCom. If they really sold the program to a German company then Creighton assured them they would only be taxed on the non-Trust portion. The Faith Campbell Medical Research Trust could suddenly have a huge amount to invest. It was daunting.

That was a preview of Living Two Lives - Book 6. To read the rest purchase the book.

Add «Living Two Lives - Book 6» to Cart