Owning My Image
INtrinSicliValud
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Owning My Image
By INtrinSicliValud
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
OWNING MY IMAGE
First edition. September 30, 2021.
Second edition. June 26, 2024.
Copyright © 2021 INtrinSicliValud.
ISBN: 979-8223721550
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permissions contact: intrinsiclivalud100@yahoo.com
A yawn erupted from my cracked lips as the door thumped behind me, closing off the endless hubbub of the convention’s last day. From the river beyond a small outdoor patio, a languid, humid breeze swept rolling paper cups and discarded trash across a dozen ancient, discolored plastic tables. The combined stench of stale cigarette smoke, cheap nachos, burned popcorn, and sickly sweet, spilled soda flooded my nostrils. Sigh slipping from me, I plonked my tired frame into a cheap molded chair on the stained concrete.
With a groan, I stretched out a taut calf. After leaning forward, I tried not to spill from the ridiculously tight, strapless short dress that Allen, my boss, insisted I wear. He always insisted my outfits be revealing.
At least he was honest. Dressed as I was, it brought in more clients, one almost nipple-slip at a time.
Why do I even listen to him?
The money.
And maybe, deep down, something else.
“No, fuck that. Allen is a sexist bastard,” I muttered to myself while massaging an achy ankle.
He always seemed so happy, though. His smile, even as he ogled me, was somehow reassuring. At my age, to get such stares from him and others was conflicting. On the one hand, it was condescending. On the other, it was kinda nice to still be worthy of being ogled.
A heavy breath escaped my lips.
No matter, it had been another long day of walking, smiling, and avoiding bending too far. Not to mention surviving the crowds of sales and marketing “geniuses” as they tried to sell me useless crap.
The aches of spasming muscles flashed as my fingers dug into the swollen leg. Also, Allen liked to show me off more than my husband, Dave.
And I let him. It got me what I wanted, more clients for him and… Well, it kept Allen happy. Why that was important to me, I didn’t know.
Really?
Just as I slipped from the well-worn heels and leaned further to dig my fingertips into both ankles, the door opened again, unleashing the cacophonous roar. With a quick tug at my dangling bodice, I sighed. Whoever it was, they took the flimsy chair across from me. Shiny gray silk suit trousers. And expensive leather shoes.
Great! After three days of being hit on, one more jerk has to try.
“I’m married,” I said. My tone not taking any pains to hide my frustration at turning aside yet another asshole.
“I know.”
He knows? So, what the hell? I swallowed and raised my chin. The most amazingly brilliant gold-flecked, light hazel eyes met my gaze. Oh! Oh, wow!
Although married, I wasn’t dead. My mind froze as those gorgeous pools bored deep into me. When the bright white teeth of a wide smile gleamed, my breath seized. Only then did my brain process the swarthy, chiseled features of the beyond handsome younger man sitting motionless before me. Air caught in my throat as I licked my upper lip and sat upright.
“Sorry to intrude.” His smile somehow widened. “But today is the last day…”
Here it comes. Boys only want one thing. My fists balled as his shiny lips moved. He had such pretty, full lips.
Focus, Laura!
He’d want to take me to dinner or something else. With a sigh, I braced for the usual dull pickup line.
Instead, his hand slid across the table toward me. “I find it best to be direct. You’re beautiful and I’ve been watching you for the past several days…”
Unlike any other guy, when beautiful left those perfect lips, the swarthy man spoke matter-of-factly. It wasn’t a compliment. No, the way he uttered the word, with a serious look on a stony face, he was stating a truth. Even more impressive, he kept his eyes on mine rather than gawking at my barely concealed boobs. And that was nice, for a change.
Wait! He’s been watching me? Several days? Oh.
My mind spun as I tightened my gaze on the mystery man. Hmm, there had been a tall figure in the crowd nearby a few times during the week. As his hand slid away, my view flicked to the table. It had left an elegant business card behind.
“Derrin Hall,” I muttered, reading the bold golden letters.
“That’s me. And again. I’ll be brief. For the past few days, your boss has been using you. You’re also a very intelligent woman.” He paused to let me process what he said. His eyes flicked to the name badge hanging precariously from the almost-overflowing bodice. “Yes, Laura, I’ve been listening as well.”
It was true. With my advanced degree, I ended up answering as many, if not more, queries than my counterparts. Of course, although Allen didn’t appear to notice, I think he did, anyway. He was just toying with me.
God, I want a new damned job. Do I? It isn’t bad being a toy if it results in extra income, is it?
Besides, Dave and I needed that money. Two boys in college ate through cash as fast as they’d plowed through the refrigerator. Our older home, almost as ancient as our cars, and a growing mountain of debt was proof of that.
The hunk’s pretty lips moved again. “I’m offering you the chance to control your own image.”
For the first time, his gleaming eyes roamed my exhausted, aching frame before returning to my face. That relaxed inspection wasn’t unpleasant, unlike the usual ogling.
“Rather than give away almost all of your exquisite beauty, as you’re doing now, I can help you monetize your natural assets.”
“Oh, so you want me to be a model?”
About to chuckle at the thought of a thirty-seven-year-old mother of two being any such thing, it died at his serious visage. No, he wasn’t kidding. Instead, I gulped as my chest tightened. While Derrin’s eyes remained fixed, that pretty grin reappeared.
“All I’m saying is that a woman as remarkable as you”—with a quick cough, he cleared his throat—“could earn a substantial sum of money. Should she choose to do so.”
As my brow scrunched and lips pursed, he folded his hands on the table and looked around the dozen or so drab, stained plastic tables on the patio. It was a nasty place to take a break, yet still better than back inside the main hall.
“Also, you’d decide what’s too risqué. Control the marketing and distribution of those images. I can help with that.”
My mind whirled. My bullshit detector clanged as the swarthy man idly twirled his fingers.
“Hmm, so, not just modeling, but more like lingerie shots?”
“Look, the website is on my card. There are several free example photos and some basic info.” His stunning eyes returned to me, though the grin now dissipated. I missed it already. “I travel a lot, but I’m here all day tomorrow doing other shoots. If you’re interested, I can squeeze you in. If not, I apologize for intruding and wish you well.”
As much as I wanted to spew something snarky, he unfolded from the squeaking chair to tower over me. And I became lost in the shadow of his imposing, muscular frame before he turned and walked away. The crowd noise came and went as his impressive bulk disappeared through the door and a pair of men stepped out. They stared. Not at my eyes. After gripping the bodice, I jerked it upward and sighed as they sauntered past, whispering.
What the actual fuck had just happened? That had been the most elaborate attempt to do…
What?
Earnest, the guy had been as businesslike as if he were selling time shares. With a grimace, I slipped my feet into the worn stilettos and adjusted the overwrought bodice once more before standing to return to the convention. Even as the door clanged behind me, heads turned, grins widened, and eyes inspected me. But not like Derrin. No, these were coarse, lingering, ogling stares.
He’d been correct in his assessment. Out there, back at the booth, I was practically naked. Besides, Allen, for damned sure, wasn’t paying me as much as my lower-level counterparts. With a sigh, I shoved the card into my purse.
Of all the things, the lack of pay hurt the most. While I smiled and babbled on about our products or listened to clients, the shoes gouging my feet were purchased ten years ago for a New Year’s Eve party. As I finally headed back to my suite, the safety pin under the hem rubbed against my nylons. The subtle dragging reminded me the only reason I fit into the tattered dress from pre-kid times was intense dedication to the gym.
At long last, I collapsed against the inside of the hotel room door and exhaled. A group of men in the elevator had been very drunk. Also, very verbose. As my chest pounded, I listened for voices or staggering footsteps. They hadn’t followed me. Still shaking, I showered the sweaty conference stench away and ordered room service for dinner.
Allen had invited me out to dine with some prospects. But my usual excuse, a video call with Dave and the boys, worked once more. Besides, he could hire one of the many booth bimbettes or escorts to be the evening’s toy.
Though it smelled promising, the meal’s flavor was dull, and I forced down only enough to quiet the grumbling in my stomach while checking Derrin’s website. Not distracted by the remarkably tasteful photos, my focus zipped right to the company’s details and its offerings. My gaze flicked from image to image. All the while, I couldn’t help it. My brain was calculating how much each topless or nude woman might be earning.
Plus, there was a pay-walled area. Turned out the site also hosted videos. The few quick snippets I reviewed had my pulse speeding.
After closing the laptop, I readied for bed and lay on the cool sheets. However, my mind continued running the numbers. With our middle-class life sliding ever lower, the hard, cold math had become more and more familiar. Although the website photos ranged from sexy and suggestive to downright raunchy, not to mention the short films, Derrin had been clear. It’d be my choice. If I did anything, the image to be projected would be my own.
Me? Really? I slid from bed to wander into the bathroom. Then I eased the pajama cami from my chest and glided white cotton panties to my ankles. Not that I’d be doing anything like that, but…
“Thirty-seven?” I whispered.
For a while, my fingers played in my hair as I stood before the mirror. Time wandered as my glossy nails eased the wavy auburn mass from one side to the other. Nude, I shifted around, letting the light shine across my curves. At last, I returned to bed. Cool sheets warming beneath my stomach, I dialed Dave. We rambled on for a while. Me sharing the gory details of being eye-fucked by strangers. Then he described another shitty day of drudgery in a dead-end job.
That humdrum call, overflowing with an absence of hope, sealed it. My heart raced.
“Sweetheart.” A finger wound tighter in my hair. “I, uh… I got the strangest offer today.”
“Some competitor finally gonna snag you from Al?” He chuckled.
Allen despised the nickname “Al”, so we always called him that. Amid the struggle to slow my breathing, my chest tightened.
“No. Uh, I was on break and a guy offered me a modeling job.”
Focused on the faded wallpaper pattern, I braced for one of his snide remarks. But no comment arrived, and the silence stretched on. Would he ask me about Derrin? How should I describe him other than tall, dark, muscular, and handsome? That wouldn’t help my case.
Did I have a case? Would I… Should I tell Dave it isn’t exactly modeling?
“It’s only pictures, right?” His response had the air catching in my throat. Even as I gulped and struggled to form a response, he added, “I mean, we could use the money.”
“Well…”
Just as my fingers moved, about to send him the website link, he spoke once more. “It’s your body. If….” Although I expected a belated, offhand remark about being too old to be a model, instead, he sighed. “If you’re comfortable enough, I say go for it.”
A gasp of surprise flew from me.
“You are gorgeous.”
Yes, he was my husband, but at that rare honest compliment, a wide smile exploded across my face. The reflection in the room’s black flat panel TV screen was that of a woman unleashed. That maybe should’ve given me pause.
“Just be careful, okay, darling? Could be a scam.”
It could’ve been. I hadn’t told him Derrin had observed for three days before approaching me. Perhaps that should’ve also given me pause?
After hanging up with Dave, I lay there for the longest time. The only sounds in the hotel room were my slowing breaths as a finger traced the business card’s gold embossed lettering. At last, with a loud, long exhale, I rolled onto my side and lifted the phone. A short text later, and I was on my spine, staring at the dark ceiling. Not expecting an instantaneous response, the sudden dinging startled me.
I have attached the contract. We can discuss when you arrive.
What should I wear?
For now, whatever you’re most comfortable in. You’ve seen the website.
For now?
As my gaze swept the glowing screen, I couldn’t help thinking that he was betting on a long shot. With a sigh, I sat upright and retrieved my laptop to review the document. What made him think anyone would be so interested in my pictures that it’d be worth my return?
The contract was straightforward. While any photos or videos were owned by him, I approved all uses. A few sections had me raising my eyebrows, and I came away with a better estimation of what lay behind that pay wall.
Despite being keyed up about the next day, exhaustion won over and I finally dozed off to Derrin’s laughing eyes and broad smile. Funny, he hadn’t laughed at me. Then again, my cami and panties were still folded on the bathroom counter. Hadn’t slept naked in a while. A long while.
In the morning, after a curt text to Allen, lying about an early departure, I scoured the clothing in my suitcase. Was there anything close to what I’d seen the models wearing in the photos? Those that had worn anything.
Oh, I wonder?
With a growing grin, I unzipped one of the inner pockets. There it was. What little there was of it. My stomach fluttered as I shook out thin black strings and tiny triangles.
Am I really going to wear this for Derrin?
Well, when I revealed myself, I’d know right away if he was serious about wanting to work with me.
The swimsuit was beyond small. A gift from my dear, horny husband on our tenth anniversary. Never worn because one of the boys had fallen sick before we could leave for the resort. Then, several trips ago, it had ended up in the suitcase pocket when he’d planned to accompany me. Except he hadn’t. They needed him at the plant. Blah, blah, blah. So, the sexy suit had drifted from my memory. As my stomach fluttered, I held the minuscule triangles before my naked frame and sucked on my lips.
I’d have to shave.
“A lot,” I mumbled, then eased my hips around. “Okay, everything.”
Later, as I paced the suite, the rubbing of my near naked body beneath the thin hotel robe was driving me mad. Plus, the anticipation. Busy as he was, Derrin couldn’t give me a specific time. The rest of the morning dragged. When it buzzed, I nearly dropped the phone in my haste.
Room 834. Now.
My legs were already moving as my glossy nails pecked on the screen that I was on my way. After a last glance in the mirror to ensure my wavy auburn hair still behaved, I stepped into the hallway. As I waited for the elevator and did one more “last glance” in the nearby mirror, my knees trembled. Too much mascara? Blood-red lipstick too shiny for pictures? Was it too red? Plus, God, the freshly shaven skin was sliding against the silken bikini every time I moved.
When the elevator doors creaked open, it was empty, and I once more inspected my reflection. Last chance to chicken out. Dave would understand; especially once I showed him the website. The same Dave who’d bought me the itty-bitty swimsuit and said we needed the money. And we definitely needed the money.
Plus, Derrin was up there expecting me. He had such pretty eyes.
While biting on the lower corner of my lip, I walked inside and tapped “8.”
Once on the eighth floor, I walked along the plush hallway. A door opened ahead of me. Still strapping on a glossy black pump, a young brunette stepped out. While making her way towards me, she swept battered hair from her face and flashed me a tight grin. When passing me, more details clarified. The prominent red stripes around her throat, flushed high-boned cheeks, and her skin glistened.
Unsurprisingly, the room she’d left was 834. After a peek at the swaying woman, reapplying lipstick as she waited for the elevator, I paused before the entrance.
“Okay, really, Laura.” My waxy lips pursed. “Last chance.” With a lengthy exhale, releasing every molecule of air from my body, I knocked.
Right as the elevator dinged down the hall, the door swung open. Derrin stood before me. The most amazing grin spread across his face. In only loose black silk trousers, a well-defined torso was left bare. As my chest fluttered, he gestured me inside. Even as that stunning smile broadened, the scent of sex assailed my nose. Behind the swarthy hunk was an unkempt bed.
After entering further, I noted a young basalt god. In only shorts, his dark, muscular form overflowed a chair, tapping on a phone. At the clacking of my heels, a chiseled, rugged face looked up. But after a brilliant grin that had my pulse pounding louder, his attention returned to the device.
Beyond the seated figure, a diminutive Asian girl attended several tripod-mounted cameras. Both lithe and stunningly beautiful, she had the shiniest long, straight black hair. While gesturing me towards a table, Derrin ignored the man and nodded at the woman.
“That’s Mia, my girlfriend.”
Well, of course he’d have a girlfriend. And a drop-dead gorgeous one at that. All for the better, as I’d no desire to do anything but get the pictures taken. Really. Though he still had the prettiest eyes. They gleamed at me as he opened a folder on the table.
“Here. We’ve got time before the next appointment. Did you have any questions or concerns?”
“Concerns?” A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “Yeah, a million of them.”
The sudden bright flash of his white teeth and the way the corners of his eyes crinkled made me stagger. With a quick sigh, I looked at the notes jotted on my phone.
“Rochelle?” I murmured.
“Well, you don’t want to use your real name, right, Laura?”
Although I hadn’t really thought to use any name at all, his glance at the seated man gave me pause. After a swift lick of my lips, I nodded.
“Um, interactive?” I pointed to a sentence in the document.
“Oh, sorry.” He cleared his throat and glanced at my wedding ring. “You, uh… That wasn’t supposed to go to you, since you’re married.”
Despite my chest tightening, my brows narrowed. “It pays a lot more money.”
“Yes, but that’s, um, beyond modeling.” His perfect lips smacked. “And you didn’t even seem too keen on that.”
Those stunning pools reflected the slanting sunbeams and flashed gold at me as I considered his answer. Okay, so from the rates, it paid much more. But for what?
“Solo, really?” I slid my nail to a subsection.
“Uh, well”—while trying not to make it too obvious he was scanning my body under the short terry-cloth robe, he licked his lips. The studly man was actually nervous—“gorgeous woman like you playing with yourself is popular. Which translates to, as you noted, more money.” He glanced over at Mia, who nodded. “Anything else? We’re losing the light.”
Eyebrow raised, I looked around the room. Derrin pushed his chair back and stood. Mia was adjusting a large white reflector beside a camera outside.
“Thought we’d make these a little risqué.” He pointed beyond the swirling curtains beside open glass doors. “And do the shoot on the balcony. That way, if these are all you do, they will earn you the most.”
Heart racing, I scanned the other tall buildings in the distance and swallowed. Rather than await my response, he moved towards the tripod on the narrow patio. Nobody in those towers knew me. Worst case, they may spot the sexy model, Rochelle. At the sound of my heels as I stepped out onto the concrete, his eyes lifted from the viewfinder. After sliding from the robe, I tossed it to a chair.
It was his eyebrows’ turn to rise. A silent wolf whistle betrayed his approval of the tiny swimsuit straining to keep me covered. Despite the heat, I shivered. While I sucked on my lips, my shaky fingers slid through my hair. When he glanced at his girlfriend, I stole a glance at his swelling crotch.
Okay, maybe not so bad for a thirty plus woman.
A grin cracked my face when he swept his eyes over me once more. If it wasn’t obvious before, standing with my arms dangling at my sides, I’d never modeled. Least of all, wearing less than twelve square inches of thin, black Lycra. And that taut material had been rubbing against my freshly-shaved mound the entire morning. A tickle slid down my inner thigh to remind me.
“Okay, I’m set. You ready?” he asked.
After a nervous peek at the other man who paid us no attention while engrossed in his phone and Mia, moving equipment, I nodded.
“Alright then. Show me what you’ve got.”
What I possessed were the graceful moves of a drunken gazelle as I flailed around, trying to act sexy like the girls half my age on his website. At last, he popped his head up from the viewfinder and held up a hand. He’s gonna send me packing. My shoulders slumped. Instead, he smiled at me.
“Priceless,” he murmured.
My lips pursed.
Is he mad? Me? He’s calling me “priceless?”
“Stop forcing it. You don’t have to act like you’re sexy. You ARE sexy. Pretend it’s just us alone. Or your husband’s here. Put on a show that would make him fuck you right here in the open, before the world.”
Not sure Dave would do that, but something glittered in Derrin’s eyes. He might. Then I glanced at his cute girlfriend, who sat reading her tablet. Okay, maybe not. My view returned to him.
“Believe me, you’ve got what men, and not a few women, desire. Now, just show it off.”
After the pep talk, he patiently guided me through more and more ever-sultrier poses. At last, I stood before him, hip cocked and fingers in my hair, while my other hand cupped a boob.
“Nice, Rochelle.”
That’s right. It was Rochelle playing out there. He waited, and the firm bulge in his trousers pulsed. Made sense; him wearing loose pants. A smile slid across my face.
“Yeah, now we’re talking. That ‘fuck me if you dare’ look is amazing.”
Though I’d no idea I had any such look, every part of me involved in fucking fluttered at the calm words.
“We can stop here if you want?”
Anything else would involve showing what little the tiny swimsuit didn’t cover. For a million years, a trickle of not just sweat slithered down each inner thigh. Oh, my mind was spinning. But the website was clear: more skin equaled more money. And Dave had said to do what I felt comfortable doing. While nodding, I lifted a hand to the rear of my neck.
When the top fell away, my shaking arm barely covered my boobs. A gulp echoed from Derrin. Other than doctors, my husband, and the boys when they were babies looking for food, nobody else, not even Allen, had seen them. Cute little Mia appeared next to her boyfriend. Under a tight t-shirt poked a small, pert chest. Probably also cute.
But I’m not cute. No, I’m sexy Rochelle.
My arm slid lower to cup my full chest as I moved slowly, rotating my hips. Soon, in response to his calm directions, I was flashing smiles, or what I hoped were sultry looks. Heat raged through me at the silence from both of them. The only sounds were my breathing and the shutter that kept snapping away.
It happened so fast. Before I knew it, my fingers found aching nipples, and I arched skyward, moaning while gasps came from my audience. The trickles between my legs turned into rivulets and I was sure from Mia’s wide eyes that the camera was capturing the glistening streams.
“Hey, Dave!”
The image of my husband’s face appeared before I rolled my head at the grunt from the black man from inside the room. As the dark giant stood, tossing aside the phone, my chest tightened. God, he’s tall. His towering frame kept on rising from the chair.
Wow, a basalt mountain!
Yet, without sparing me a glance, he strode to Derrin. Under languidly twisting fingers, my nipples throbbed as the two men conversed in whispers.
Not gonna lie. As soon as I’d glimpsed Dave, an old high school fantasy flashed into my memory. Okay, one of many, but by far the filthiest—and kinkiest. It involved the football team—and me. Only me. Plus, all of them. On a very long bus ride home from a victory. When a yelp fled my lips, Mia gave me a curious look as I lifted the teeth from my bleeding lip. Yeah, it was a fun fantasy—back then.
All of that meant, when the chiseled giant turned towards me, my heart tumbled into my fluttering stomach. So many nerves tingled within me, the room blurred in sync with my rising pulse.
After a slow nod at Derrin, the sculpted god glided behind me. His body heat was jarring, and his scent matched the smell of sex from the crumpled bedsheets. Well, half the scent. The potent male half. The extremely potent male half. Every muscle tensed when the first hands other than my husband’s gripped my hips in a long, long time. From beyond the tripod, Derrin watched, wearing an intense expression.