Georgia Moonbeams

Mark S. Elias

All rights reserved © 2021

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental. All rights are reserved by the author, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.

Product names, brands, and other trademarks referred to within this book are the property of their respective trademark holders. Unless otherwise specified there is no association between the author and any trademark holder, nor are any expressed or implied. Nor does it express any endorsement by them, or of them. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any trademark, service mark, or registered trademark.

January 2021

Published by Mark S. Elias

E-book ISBN-13: 978-1-716-21285-7

__________________________________

Dedications

Wayleri

deviantart.com/wayleri

Thank you for the wonderful cover art for this book! You did an amazing job and I hope to be giving you work for many years to come! You’re an amazing artist who takes all of my jumbled thoughts and puts them into an absolutely stunning picture!

__________________________________

TeNderLoin

My amazing editor! Thank you! Not just for countless hours of reading and correcting my mistakes, but also the time you’ve taken to become my friend. Thank you for knowing when to give me guidance for a scene and when to let me talk it out myself. Thank you for seeing something in my writing that I sometimes don’t even see myself!

__________________________________

Patreons

Greg Shields

Emmeran

PROLOGUE

“Max,” the young woman sighed as she looked across the small field, “we weren’t prepared for this.”

“What do you mean, you weren’t prepared for it?”

Max Hunter, a tall good looking gentleman in his early thirties, was dressed impeccably for the setting in which they found themselves. The suit he wore had clearly been custom made by a very talented tailor. It fit him like a glove. His hair had been well groomed, cut short on the sides but leaving enough length on top to show his brown hair had a natural wave to it. All of that could be overlooked, but the most telling sign that Max Hunter was out of his element were the shoes. Patent leather shoes looked great on television or walking down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, but out in the middle of a horse farm in the 'deep south' parts of Georgia, they were anything but useful.

“What I mean is that we don’t have the lighting we need and we don’t have the power supply.”

“Well, why the hell not?!” Max was clearly upset.

His job was not to focus on the hows of things. He wasn’t supposed to worry about lighting, sound, or any of those other petty things. He had one job and one job only. He was here to conduct an interview and look damn good while doing it.

“Because we weren’t told we’d be outside. We thought that we’d be inside somewhere. We didn’t bring the lighting or any of the equipment we’d need to do this.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be prepared for anything? That’s what I’m paying you for.”

She growled through gritted teeth, “No! You are paying me to record an interview inside of a studio! You said nothing about being on location. I know they didn’t teach you much at that posh little preppie school you went to - other than how to comb your hair, and what foundation looks good for your complexion on camera – but, those of us who actually know what we are doing need to be told certain things. If I carried around enough equipment to handle every possible situation, I’d have to bring a big rig everywhere I went.”

“What do you need?” he sighed in exasperation.

Max had jumped at the chance to get this interview done. This one-hour special would be broadcast around the world. It could be the big break he needed to take the next step in his career. No more of these backwoods locations. After this, it was the glamorous lights of studios where people waited on you hand and foot. Where people brought you coffee instead of you having to make it … in a pot. Disgusting!

“I’m going to need at least a full day to track down everything we need.”

“A full day?! Kendra, I can’t wait that long. I need to have this footage to the studio by tomorrow morning.”

“Then we need to get somewhere inside.”

“But this is the perfect location!” Max pointed to the old run-down barn behind him.

The barn had clearly seen better days. The paint, once bright red like any other southern farm, had long since chipped away leaving the gray weathered boards beneath it. The two large doors that marked the entrance were hard to open now, but they still worked. There was no doubt this barn had many stories to tell. That is, if anyone ever bothered to ask what those stories were.

“I get that, Max. Trust me, I do, but please listen to me, and try, for once, to actually understand something other than how good you look in the mirror. We are in the very deep south. I mean less than two hours away from the Gulf of Mexico, and it’s the middle of July. It feels like its seven hundred degrees outside. You’re wearing a full suit, you’re already starting to sweat, and it’s only going to get worse. I don’t care how cool that barn looks. If your precious mascara is running down your cheeks there is no studio in the world that will want the footage. Do you get that?!”

“Fine! But we have to do this today. I can’t wait until tomorrow. We’ll have no time at all to get it back to the studio.”

“Max,” I finally stepped up, “if you want, we can go inside the barn for the interview.”

“Inside that thing?” he asked petulantly. “It looks like it’s about to fall down.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. In years past I would have taken offense at his attitude or the way he acted.. Now, that all seemed so trivial.

“Oh, I think you’d be surprised. You see, Mr. Hunter, unlike the way they do things these days, this barn was built to last multiple generations. In fact, a lot of my story has happened in or around this barn. So, if you want your interview, I’d suggest we head inside.”

Max huffed and walked away from me towards the barn to see what was inside.

“Thank you, Mr. Jackson,” Kendra said with a smile. “I’ve worked with Max for a number of years now. I wish I could say this isn’t how he normally acts, but he’s more 'high maintenance' than anyone I’ve ever worked with.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re welcome. Besides, I grew up on this farm and there ain’t no way on God’s green earth that he was going to have my wrinkled old butt sitting out here in the middle of July. Stupid dumbass.”

Kendra chuckled, “Is there power inside? We’ve got lights and everything. We can run in and get a generator if we need to.”

“Kendra,” I laughed, “I may be old, but I’m not that old. There’s plenty of power in the barn. I’ll get one of the boys to bring over some hay bales. We can make some sort of seating area. I may even be able to find a horse blanket or something for the princess to sit on.”

Kendra laughed again, “Don’t tell him it’s a horse blanket. He’ll break out into hives.”

“Deal,” I said with a grin.

An hour later their crew had turned the inside of the old barn – the same one I had grown up with – into a full-fledged studio. There were more electrical extension cords, and video cables running around the floor than I could remember having seen before. We’d brought over several bales of hay to use for seating along with a TV tray of sweet iced tea to sit between myself and Max. Of course, Max Hunter never lifted a finger.

“God,” he said with a sigh, “this place is disgusting.”

I’d had about as much as I could stand of him now. I had patience, but there was only so much I could take. The years had taught me to take what people said with a grain of salt, but that wasn’t always the case. Max Hunter had officially pushed me to the point of saying something.

“Listen here, Max, if you want to do this interview, I suggest you shut the hell up and start acting like you appreciate something for once in your life.”

“I …” He tried to say something, but I stopped him.

“Shut it. Ain’t nothing you can say that'll explain the way you’ve been behaving. You’ve had everyone else around here running around doing whatever they needed to do to help you out and all you’ve done is act like a spoiled little bitch.”

“If you …”

“If I what? You gonna threaten to walk out of this interview if I don’t apologize to you? Here’s a newsflash for that little prissy pea sized brain of yours. I didn’t even want to do this interview, much less have you be here. In fact, the ONLY reason I agreed to do this interview is because a very dear friend of mine, your father, called me and asked me to do this interview as a personal favor. He wanted to help you in your career despite the fact that you're a pretentious little jackass.”

Max was silent at the rebuke.

“You come up here, into my home, and all you do is insult me, my family, and my entire way of life. It’s very clear you have no respect for anyone, not even yourself. You insult this tiny little town and this old run down barn – but this place saved my life.”

“It what?”

“Yeah. It saved my life. And not just once. I nearly died - three times - before I even made it into high school. It was thanks to this barn, and the people who bought it, that I lived. This barn, this town, these backwoods people, are the reason you have a job right now. So, whenever you want to stop acting like a ten-year-old little spoiled brat princess, and start acting like a professional journalist, you just let me know. I’ll be happy to talk to you. Until then, y’all have a nice day. Make sure to lock the barn up when you leave.”

I turned and started to head out the door when I heard him call me back.

“Uncle Alex, wait!” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

“It’s okay. You’ve been out of line your whole life,” I smirked to give him a hard time.

“This place really saved your life?”

I shook my head. “Your dad never told you?”

“I think he tried a few times, but I never really gave him a chance.”

“Too bad. You’d have heard some great stories. Sit down. Let’s do this interview.”

What I didn’t realize is that Kendra had already gotten one of the cameras rolling and had recorded my entire berating of my nephew. For a moment I felt a little bad about the things that I’d said, but only for a fleeting moment. Max was the type that needed a good kick in the pants every now and then. Overall, he was a good person. He’d never been in trouble, at least from what I could remember, but he thought very highly of himself.

“So, how old is this place?”

“The barn?” I looked around at the old structure, “I’d have to look to be sure, but it was originally built in the late 1920’s or early 30’s. We can’t be sure because the original owners weren’t that great at keeping records.”

“How old is the farm?”

“The farm goes all the way back to just after the Civil War.”

“Wait, seriously?”

I nodded, “Yeah. I had to do some research on it for a class my freshman year of high school. Guy by the name of Thurlow Warren was in the Battle of Natural Bridge in Florida. I won’t bore you with the details of that battle, but I’ll say it was one of the few Confederate victories. Anyway, after that battle Thurlow Warren moved up to Georgia and settled this farm. It passed down through the years and stayed in the family for quite a while.”

“So, are you part of that family?”

I laughed, “No, nothing like that.”

“Wait, so … how did this place save your life?”

I laughed and reached over to the TV tray to get my glass and take a sip of my sweet tea, “Sit back, Max. This is going to be a long story.”

CHAPTER ONE

I remember the first time I saw her. We were barely six years old, when this little elfin girl walked into Mrs. Sanders first grade classroom. Her family had just moved into our small southern Georgia town. She was the same age as me, but even then, she was smaller than the rest of us. She had this wild hair that reminded me of a lion’s mane. Her blonde hair was thick and curly and ran all the way down her back. She had these pretty bright green eyes, and this shy little smile. Even then, she commanded the attention of the room.

“Class, I want you to meet a new friend,” Mrs. Sanders began as she paraded the new girl up to the front of the room. “This is Allison Moon. She and her family just moved here from Kentucky. Y’all be nice to her and make her feel welcome.”

I swear I heard Mrs. Sanders talking, but it was almost like her words weren’t registering with me. I couldn’t take my eyes off the girl. What struck me the most were her eyes. Allison had the brightest green eyes that I had ever seen. Granted, at six years old, I didn’t have a lot of experience with paying attention to a girl’s eyes. I really had nothing to compare them to, but I remember just staring at her. She had these eyes that you could just get lost in. As I said, Allison commanded the attention of any room she was in, whether she was speaking or not.

It wasn’t ‘love at first sight’ like many of the stories you've read; but truthfully, I was very infatuated with her from the start.

However, there was a problem. There is always a problem, right? This should be the part of the story where Mrs. Sanders assigned her a seat right next to mine and Allison and I immediately struck up a friendship. That didn’t happen. Perhaps this is the part of the story where I tell you how I went up to Allison at recess and started playing tag with her and immediately the two of us became best friends. That didn’t happen, either.

The truth of the matter is, I am painfully shy. I have been that way all my life. My parents used to tell me stories that when I was a baby, I had only a select few people I would let hold me or comfort me. If you weren’t one of the select few people that I was comfortable with, then I’d cry and struggle until you put me down. They thought that it was just a phase that I would grow out of; but apparently, I didn’t.

As I started daycare, it took me weeks to get comfortable enough with my teachers that I wouldn't immediately begin crying when my mom or dad dropped me off. It would be another few months before I got comfortable enough with the other children to begin playing; but even then, I was reserved and had to be practically pulled into whatever game the other children had going.

During nap time, the teachers would give us all little pallets to sleep on while they caught up on whatever they had to do. As I have been told several times over the years, the first few times we went to sleep I gave the teachers a real scare. It seems that when they weren’t looking, I took my blanket, and went off on my own so that I wouldn’t have to be around the other children. When nap time was over the teachers ran around trying to find me. It took them nearly an hour before they realized that I had taken my blankets and gone to sleep in the far corner of the room beneath some crafting tables.

For the first few days this happened every day with me managing to find a new spot to sleep in so that I wouldn’t have to be near the other kids. I even found my way into a supply closet down the hallway. That day my parents were called up to the daycare because no one could find me. After that, it seems the teachers caught on to me and were more aware of what I was doing. I had also been talked to by my parents. I don’t remember any of those events and can only tell you now because of all the times I have been the brunt of family jokes. It doesn’t bother me when my family laughs at the stories. In truth, they are funny; but I am extremely sensitive about my family telling other people about them.

So, you see, when Allison walked into the classroom that day, I had everything working against me. My seat was always at the front of the class so that the teacher could keep an eye on me and force me to get involved in the classroom activities. That, along with being painfully shy, meant I was doomed from the start. At lunch that day I sat in my typical seat, all the way at the end of the long row of tables as far away from everyone as I could. At recess Allison went off to play with several of the girls in our class who immediately seemed to adopt her as if they had known her for years. Allison just had this way with people. It was like magic. She never met a stranger and could draw you out of whatever shell you were in.

It wasn’t until March, nearly 6 months after Allison first came to town, that I had my first real interaction with her. Despite staring at her whenever I could, I never had the nerve to talk to her. All the other children adored her, so her attention was always with other people. The few times she did take notice of me she always gave me a smile before I quickly turned away. I was never sad or lonely, at least not at the time. No, I was just content. I was comfortable in my own little bubble and didn’t need anyone else to come in. It was Allison who forced her way into my personal bubble when she ran up to me at recess.

“Hey, Alex!” she began, with a slight giggle in her voice.

“Hey, Allison.”

“Why are you always by yourself? Don’t you want to come play with us?”

“I …” Part of me wanted to join in whatever game she was playing. Part of me, even at seven years old, wanted to cling to her and let her pull me through life, but that just wasn’t my nature.

“Well?”

“I’m fine.” That was it. She would accept my answer and go back to playing with the other kids. That way the fear that gripped my chest could relax; but then, THAT wasn’t Allison’s nature.

“Come on! Please?” It was her eyes that made me want to do whatever she asked, and if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Sanders calling an end to recess, I might have done it. “Aww, man!” she added.

I quickly stood up, and hastily made my way to the single file line hoping I could avoid another interaction, but I was doomed from the start. Once Allison set her mind to something, she was determined to see it through, and she had set her mind to getting me to talk to her.

“Alex! Wait up!” She hurried after me, managing to stand in line right behind me jumping from foot to foot. “Will you come to my birthday party next weekend?” As she was asking me this, she handed me a Disney princess invitation. Once again, I was saved by Mrs. Sanders, who led us silently down the hall to our Art class.

I hadn’t planned on showing my parents the invitation at all. I didn’t want to go. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Allison, I did. Part of me wanted very much to get to know her and become her friend. That was what scared me the most.

I didn’t really have any friends. There were a few kids that I was more familiar with than others. Some of them I would even hang around with at recess when one of my normal spots had been taken by others, but I never had any sleepovers. I never had anyone over to my house to play during the summer, and I don’t even remember going to any other birthday parties before. My parents were usually really good about not forcing me to do something. They worried about me and wanted desperately for me to come out of my shell, but they also knew they couldn’t force me to do it. I had to do it naturally. One person who did NOT know that … was Allison Moon.

At the end of the day, we were all standing outside in line waiting for our parents to pick us up from school. We were made to stand in line along the wall. One by one, as parents drove up, one of the teachers would call our name and take us to our parent’s car. As I said before, we lived in a really small town, so this precaution was probably unnecessary since everyone knew everyone. But that day, when the principal called my name to take me to my mom’s car, Allison bounded off of her place along the wall and made a beeline for my mom. She was bouncing from foot to foot as she leaned into the window of my mom’s car.

“Can Alex come to my birthday party next weekend?!”

I could hear my mom laughing at the bundle of smiles and laughter that was already working her magic.

“I’m not sure. He’s never been to a birthday party, before.”

“Then he HAS to come! PLEASE?! Everyone will be there! I gave him an invitation! I’m having it at the park. It’s going to be so much fun!”

“Maybe,” my mom laughed. It was really the only word she could get in because Allison didn’t seem like she was going to stop talking.

“Allison,” Principal Lunsford said as he placed a guiding hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you go get back in line and let Alex get home?”

“Okay.” She turned to me with her smiling green eyes. “Bye, Alex!”

The rest of the day seemed to drag on. My mom never asked me anything about who Allison was, or if I wanted to go. It wasn’t until dinner time that night that everything came out. Growing up in the deep south there was a tradition. You ate dinner, together. At least, in our small town you did. No matter what the make-up of your family was, everyone had some semblance of a family dinner. So, as I sat quietly pushing around the spaghetti on my plate, silently praying that my mom wouldn’t mention anything, my prayers went unanswered.

“So, Alex, tell me about this new friend of yours,” my mom began, giving my dad the first inclination that something had happened that day.

“Alex has a new friend?” It wasn’t right to say I had a NEW friend. If I had considered Allison my friend at that time, she would have been my ONLY friend.

“That’s what I was hoping Alex would answer. When I went to pick him up today this girl came running up to the car before Alex could get there. She was practically sitting in the front seat asking me if I would let Alex go to her birthday party next weekend.” My mom had been talking to my dad, but finally turned to me.

“What’s her name, Alex?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alexander Jackson. Don’t sit there and tell me you don’t know the name of someone in your class. She certainly seemed to know who you were. Now, what is her name?”

My mom wasn’t scolding me, nor was she mad at me. Her tone wasn’t harsh when she spoke to me, but there was a finality to it that let me know she expected an answer and it had better be the truth.

“Her name is Allison.”

“Why haven’t you told us you had a friend?”

This time it was my dad, who was always the gentler of my parents. His voice was deep and carried across the table. I swear my dad could have made a fortune as a voice actor. His voice was like something you’d hear at the beginning of a fairytale movie that started out with, ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land.’

“She’s not really my friend.”

“It didn’t seem that way to me when I picked you up.”

“Her family moved here before Thanksgiving. I haven’t really talked to her a lot. She’s always playing with the other kids.”

That made it seem like Allison ignored me, but at this point in my life, my parents knew full well that it was far more likely that I was avoiding Allison than that Allison didn’t want to be my friend.

“Well, I think you should go to her party. We can go into the city this weekend and get her something.”

“BUT, MOM!”

“Alex!” There was that tone that all mothers get when you knew there was nothing more to be said, so I stopped resisting. “I know you don’t like to be around other kids, but you are going to have to learn to get over that. Your dad and I have never made you do anything you didn’t want to do. We’ve never forced you to make friends, have we?” I could only shake my head no. “I won’t force you to be this girl’s friend, but it would be very rude to ignore her. She really seemed to want you to come to her party. You don’t have to be her best friend, but you WILL go to that party. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Two weeks later I found myself at Reed Bingham State Park, trying desperately to avoid people but being forced into public by my mom. In my hands I clutched the gift we had picked out for Allison. Allison’s mom met us and smiled. Allison’s mom was the exact opposite of her daughter in terms of looks. Allison was beautiful in a simplistic way. She wasn’t exotic, nor was she homely, but she was undoubtedly a beautiful girl. Allison was also very petite and was the shortest person in our entire class, something that would never change as she grew older.

Debbie Moon was the exact opposite. Debbie was a tall woman who towered over all the other mothers. Her height was a good thing because she was also a hefty woman. At one time she may have been a moderately attractive person, but time had not been kind to her. Allison may not have gotten her looks from her mother, but she did get her personality. Debbie Moon was just as warm and welcoming as her daughter was. Her smile immediately made me relax a bit around her.

“Hey, there!” Debbie’s thick southern drawl was something else she seemed to have passed down to her daughter. “I’m Debbie, Allie’s mom.”

“I’m Teresa, and this is my son, Alex.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys could make it! You can put your present on the table over there and then go down to the water with the other kids.”

“I don’t have to swim, do I?” I asked my mom, but it was Debbie who answered.

“All the other kids are, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to, buddy. Allie’s just happy you came. She was so excited you agreed to come.”

I didn’t know it then, but that would be a real turning point in my life. You see, up until that point I never minded that I didn’t have friends. I didn’t care that I never went over to someone's house to play. It never bothered me that I didn’t get up on Saturday mornings and go out riding bikes with all the other kids in my neighborhood. I kept to myself and that was always enough. It also helped that none of the other kids really gave me a hard time about it. They accepted that I was a loner and gave me my space. Allison had been the first person to ever really try to bring me out of my shell.

All the kids had gathered by the lake at one of the sandy beach areas. I had known there would be swimming, but I didn’t know how to swim. So instead of wearing my swimming shorts I was in just a normal pair of shorts and shoes. Allison spotted me right away and came bounding out of the water.

“Alex! You’re here! Come on and swim with us!”

I shook my head. “I don’t really feel like swimming, but thanks anyway.”

“Come on, please?” With just one word, please, she seemed to be able to bend me to her will. I started to get up but remembered I couldn’t swim. I wasn’t going to tell her that though.

“I didn’t bring my swim trunks. I’ll be okay.”

Allison just sat down beside me in the sand. I can’t help but imagine how odd it must have looked. Allison, sitting in her swimsuit and me looking like a curly headed Forrest Gump sitting beside her. I wish I could remember any portion of the conversation we had then. I’m sure it wasn’t anything deep or meaningful. We were, after all, only seven at the time. The conversation wasn’t memorable or life altering in any way. What WAS life altering was what happened later that day. We were called back to the picnic area where we had hot dogs and hamburgers followed by the traditional cake and ice cream. I stayed back as Allison tore into the gifts we had brought her.

Unlike most kids, Allison didn’t attack it with reckless abandon. She would take the time to see who gave her the present, and if there was a card, at least try reading it. But once she had done that, she tore into the present with the enthusiasm you’d expect of a seven-year-old. She got a wide array of gifts from movies to clothes, but the one gift that she seemed to treasure the most was what I had brought her. Her eyes lit up when she tore through the pink wrapping paper and saw the nearly 3-foot-tall Cinderella doll. The doll came with several dresses she wore in the movie, but the crowning jewel was the iconic blue dress she wore while dancing with the prince. I had been quiet while she was thanking everyone for the gifts and tried my best to stay clear, but Allison wrapped me in a tight hug and thanked me more than she had the others.

We were all herded back to the beach area and told to play a bit more while the parents cleaned up and talked. I had a feeling something bad was about to happen. I couldn’t say why, but I knew I didn’t want to go. My mom was having nothing of it though and told me, as sternly as she could in public that I was to go back and play with the others, or at the least, sit by the water. Once again, I found Allison sitting beside me on the sand trying to have a conversation with me.

“Allie! Come on! We’re playing water tag!” It was Jennifer Hansen, another first grader, though in a different class than Allison and me.

“But Alex isn’t swimming.”

“So? He’s weird anyway!”

“Hey! That’s not nice!”

“He probably wants to play with that doll he got you!” This time it was Jake Pollard joining in. Jake was a year older than us and in second grade but just down the road from Allison.

“Don’t say that!”

“He only came cause his mommy made him! I’m surprised you asked him to come.”

“I bet he can’t even swim. That’s why he won’t come in the water. Only babies can’t swim!”

“Leave him alone!” Allison was doing her best to defend me, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

There were some other things said, but I didn’t hear them. I had tuned them out. At that moment I retreated into my own little world, placing my hands on my ears to drown out the jeers of the other kids. I was trying not to cry, but I felt the tears coming long before they started flowing down my cheeks. I knew Allison was trying to defend me, but the other kids were relentless. In truth, it was probably a long time coming. I had never really been teased despite all my weird intricacies.

“Look at him! Crying like a little baby!” Jake laughed.

They were really tearing into me and I couldn’t take it anymore. With massive tears running down my face I stood up and ran.

“Alex!” I heard Allison calling for me, but I didn’t slow down.

I didn’t know where I was running to; I simply ran as fast I could to get away from the torment of the other kids. I wasn’t sure if any of the parents saw me or not. I wasn’t even thinking about my mother. I just needed to escape. I ran from the beach towards an area that was marked off for hiking deep into the surrounding woods.

“Slow down, Kid!” An older gentleman yelled at me angrily as I blew past him on the trail.

Even though I couldn’t hear the kids anymore, they were still yelling at me in my mind and that made me run even more. I stopped trying to stay on the trail and by the time I stopped running because my lungs were burning, I was completely lost.

I had only been to the state park once and had never gone onto the hiking trail. Had I stayed on it, I would have been fine, but once I got off the trail and just started running into the woods, I knew I was in trouble. I turned around trying to see if I could find a trail, but there was nothing. Being just seven at the time, panic started to set in quickly and my mind began to shut down. Tears, which had started to dry up, began to spring up once again and the only thing I could do was to sit down beneath a tall oak tree and cry.

My mind started playing up all the fears in my heart. I turned my head quickly as I heard a bear coming at me. Was that a mountain lion I heard in the distance? I felt the rattles of a snake coiled up and ready to strike me. The howl of an imaginary wolf made me once again bring my hands up to my ears to block out all the sounds. At the time I couldn’t have told you how long I sat beneath the tree, but it was long enough that despite still crying, I had no more tears to shed. I almost didn’t hear the game warden as he came towards me.

“I FOUND HIM! I GOT HIM!” He shouted before looking towards me and lowering his voice to try and calm me. “It’s okay, Son. You’ve got a lot of people worried about you. Everyone is looking for you. Why don’t you come with me and we will take you back to your mom?”

I couldn’t help but run to him as he bent down to pick me up to carry me back. When the trail finally came into view, I was shocked to realize how far I had gone off the trail. I could see a lot of people standing around having heard that I had been found. I had stopped crying until I looked into my mom’s eyes. They were blood red from crying as she stood on the trail with Debbie and Allison Moon by her side comforting her. When the game warden handed me to my mom I was sobbing inconsolably on my mom’s shoulder.

The only thing I could get out was “I’m sorry, Momma.” I said it repeatedly despite my mother’s assurance that everything was okay.

“Thank you, Debbie.” My mom said as she wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry we’ve made such a mess of Allie’s birthday. I should get him home.”

“I understand. And don’t think anything about the birthday. It wasn’t his fault. Damn kids can be little demons sometimes.”

I couldn’t even look at Allison as we said goodbye. I had ruined her birthday. There was no way she would want to be my friend now. She probably hated me and would never forgive me. That day should have been a day for me to really come out of my shell. I should have started to open myself up to others beginning with a new friendship with Allison. Instead, I felt the shell harden around me. I had always known there was a reason I didn’t like to be around others, and that day had shown me exactly why. Come Monday morning I would have to go back to school. I’d have to see all of them again, including Allison. I would have to see her hate me. I would have to hear all the others making fun of me. This was the reason I didn’t have friends … I couldn’t trust them.

Dinner that night was quiet. I don’t ever remember our family dinners being that quiet. Both my parents wanted to say something, but neither of them knew what exactly that something was. I knew they had questions, but I wasn’t sure I had any answers to those questions. Even at seven years old I knew I shouldn’t have just run off like I had. No one said anything for a long time. It was my dad who finally broke the silence.

“Alex, your mom and I want you to know that we aren’t mad at you for what happened today, but we do need to talk about it. You really scared everyone.”

“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t crying now. I had managed to calm down, especially since I was back in the comfort zone of home.

“Son, I want you to know something. People will always find a way to make fun of you. No matter how old you get, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you. There will always be someone who will try to put you down. You don’t have to run. You are strong enough to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to worry about what other people say about you.”

I wished I could believe him.

Monday morning at school things went about as well as could be expected. Most of the first grade had heard about my episode and I was ridiculed to no end. Jennifer seemed to be making it known that I liked to play with dolls. All these years later it still amazes me how vicious children can be, even in first grade. Jake was doing his best to make life hard for me. The only respite I had came at lunch. I took my typical spot at the far end of the long table, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and the other kids. I had just settled down to see what my mom had made me for lunch when Allison came to sit across from me.

I just knew she was going to hate me. She was going to try and yell at me for the horrible mess I made of her birthday. I put my head down, not wanting to even look into her eyes. But there were no harsh words coming from her. In fact, she didn’t even speak to me. She simply took out the sandwich from her bag and began to eat, all the while humming some song I’m sure she had heard on the radio. When Mrs. Sanders called an end to the lunch period Allison stood up and smiled at me.

“Thanks for letting me eat lunch with you, Alex,” she said, and then turned and left. It was as if, to her, nothing had ever happened. It was just another day and for some reason she had decided that she wanted to hang out with me. I swear I’ll never understand her.

CHAPTER TWO

The more things change, the more they stay the same. That’s how the old saying goes, at least, and that’s exactly how it was for me. Time went by and my classmates all seemed to change and grow into bigger versions of themselves. They all tried new things and made new friends. New people came into the small town of Judson, Georgia, where I lived. Yet despite all the change, I didn’t seem to change much. Physically I changed just as any child would. I grew, but stayed the tall lanky kid that I always was. But despite all the physical changes that happened over the years, mentally and socially things never changed. Standing next to another kid I looked just fine. I wasn’t too fat, I wasn’t too tall, I wasn’t too short. Physically I was fine, but if you asked me to try and meet a new friend, I just couldn’t do it.

The summer after I met Allison my mom decided that I needed to be enrolled in a day camp. She claimed it was to help me socialize with other kids my age, but in truth it was because she had no other place for me to go. Both of my parents worked full time and the summers were always rough for them with trying to work and manage the home. My mom worked as an accountant at Wild Adventures, a theme park in Valdosta. My dad, McKenzie, or Mack for short, was a veterinarian. That summer the local YMCA began offering a summer long day camp program for all ages of children. It offered cheap childcare for parents and gave us kids something to do during the summer instead of sitting around home all day long. One of the activities they offered was swimming, and for those who couldn’t swim, free lessons. I actually started enjoying swimming once I got the hang of it and by the end of July, I was fairly decent at it. It was one of the few things I could look forward to during the day. That is until Jake Pollard decided that I was having too much fun.

While everyone was swimming Jake slipped into the boys changing room and managed to steal all my clothes from my cubby hole. That day I was the last one out of the pool and went to go change before joining the others for the rest of the afternoon's activities. I kept looking for my clothes but couldn’t find them. One by one all the kids left the changing room until I was the only person left. I was a smart kid and rather meticulous about my things, so I knew where I had placed them, but they were nowhere to be found. I knew Jake had done something, but I didn’t have the courage or the willpower to actually try and confront him. It was several hours later that one of the workers found me huddled in a corner, my head buried in my hands crying.

“Alex?” I heard the voice of the counselor at the YMCA.

“Yeah.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but it echoed in the cavernous brick building.

“You want to get changed and come back inside?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” She was coming towards me, but was being cautious with her steps.

“I don’t have anything to change into.”

“What happened to your clothes, buddy?” She asked as she knelt down in front of me.

I wasn’t naked. After all, I had been swimming. But my shoes, socks, and clean clothes were all gone. The only thing I had was the swimsuit I was wearing.

“I don’t know.” I sort of lied. I had a feeling I knew what happened, but I couldn’t say for certain.

“You just stayed in here all afternoon?”

I nodded wordlessly.

“Okay, well, why don’t you come with me, and we’ll get you a shirt you can wear. You can wear your swimming shorts until your mom gets here. Are you hungry? You missed snack time.”

Again I nodded, but wasn’t making a move to get up. She stood up and held out her hand. She was trying. Even though everything in my mind said to stay where I was, since I’d be safe there, she was in charge, and my mother had always taught me to obey the people in charge. So I took her hand and went inside. She found a YMCA shirt that was far too big for me, but it was the smallest size they had. The shirt came all the way down to my knees. After she found me a snack, she sent me back to the main room with the other kids. I heard a few snickers at how I was dressed. Jake was the final straw. When he walked by me, he muttered so that only I could hear him.

“Nice dress.”

As he walked away, I went to one of the far walls and just sat there until my mom came to collect me an hour later.

Things like that were always happening to me. Every time I turned around, I was the brunt of some sort of prank or the wrong end of a bully’s fist. In third grade one of the new kids decided he needed to make a name for himself. Mark Green found me on the first day of school and cornered me at the far end of the playground and proceeded to kick the shit out of me. By the time he finished with me, with everyone either watching him or keeping an eye out for the teachers, I was bleeding from my nose and lip and my shirt was only hanging on by a thread. Once again I did the only thing I knew to do to protect myself… I hid. I stuffed myself behind a half wall that blocked off the air conditioner. I waited there until I heard what seemed like the entire teaching staff searching for me.

In 5^th grade I was invited to my first sleepover. I remember begging my mom not to make me go, but she wasn’t going to listen to me. She and my dad had a dinner that they needed to attend for my dad’s job. It was an adult party for my dad’s boss. He was retiring and had decided that he wanted to go all out to thank all his employees throughout the years. My dad had been with him the longest and was being honored. They had to go so when the invitation came for me to be a part of a sleepover it was a blessing in disguise for them. David Taylor was the son of Jack Taylor, the manager for a local bank. Jack had made David invite all the boys in his class for a sleepover hoping that it would encourage their parents to invest their money at his branch. David used the opportunity to strike at me.

All the boys had gathered in David’s basement while his dad was upstairs watching something on television. David, being the host and star of the show, had decided that we were going to play a game, but like everything else, when I’m involved it can’t be just something normal. David’s basement had a big screen television on one wall, and his dad had gotten both an XBox 360 S and a Playstation 3. David had a huge collection of games as well. It was clear that whatever David wanted his dad would get.

David had decided that we were going to play one of his favorite games, UFC 2009. It didn’t surprise me that he liked the game. David had been doing martial arts for as long as I can remember. David didn’t just want to rotate in and out though. His idea was that we would do a tournament and if you lost your match, not only were you out of the tournament but you would be “punished” in some way. I was automatically nervous just from being there, but when he said what the plans were, I was panicking. The first few people went and the punishments weren’t too bad. The worst thing that I think someone had to do was drink a shot glass full of hot sauce.

“Alex! It’s your turn!” David said as he looked to me with an almost evil grin. “It’s you and me!”

“That’s okay. I’m not good at video games,” was the only response I could muster.

“If you refuse to play, your punishment is worse.”

Shit! Reluctantly I took my place behind one of the controllers, and it was no surprise that David steamrolled me. It wasn’t a fair fight at all, and he knew that. That’s why he chose me.

“Alright, Alex, for your punishment, you have to run to the end of the road in just your underwear.”

“What?!” I was shocked, “No! Besides, it’s raining.”

David’s demeanor changed suddenly. It was enough to make me a little scared.

“Either you do it, or I make you do it.”

I stood up and started towards the stairs to get away, but before I could do anything David and Mark grabbed me and held me down. They stripped me of all my clothes then tossed me outside. David’s house had a walkout basement, and I now found myself standing outside of it in the pouring down rain. I could hear all the laughter from the other boys and could see some of them staring out of the window at me, wondering what I was going to do. I did what I always did… I ran and hid.

David lived at the back end of the only real subdivision we had in Judson. Thankfully, it backed up to a large forest. I ran deep into the trees and didn’t stop until I could no longer see the lights of the houses. Being naked, I didn’t want to just sit on the ground and standing around didn’t seem like a good option either, so wiping away the tears from my eyes long enough for me to see straight, I found a nearby tree and climbed it so that I could at least be away from anything that may come for me. The cold rain pelted on me and made me mostly go numb. Numb enough at least that I never felt the ant bites that covered me the next day. I had fallen asleep in the tree for several hours before I heard my dad’s voice carrying through the tree. I heard him before I saw the light of his flashlight.

“ALEX?!” Thankfully his voice was deep enough to carry across the silence of the forest that night. Usually, my dad’s voice was rather soothing and peaceful, but there was an urgency about it, and I hollered back at him.

“DAD!”

When my dad found me and wrapped me in a blanket there was an intense fury in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Dad! I didn’t know what to do! I was so scared!”

“It’s okay, Alex. I’m here.” I’m sure it looked awkward for my dad to be carrying me, but I had no strength to stand or walk on my own. As we got closer to David’s house, I could hear my mom long before I saw her.

“Jack, I can’t believe you would let this happen! What kind of parent lets a bunch of eleven-year-old kids have an entire house to themselves?! Just how much beer were you drinking anyway?! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t call DHS right now and have them come down here!”

“Teresa! Calm down!”

“DON’T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, DAMMIT! MY SON is outside in the pouring down ran with NO FUCKING CLOTHES ON! All because your little hellion decided it would be a funny joke!”

Jack Taylor was saved as my mom spotted my dad carrying me and immediately ran toward me.

“ALEX!” She pressed herself to me, bringing me and my dad into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Momma! I didn’t know what to do!”

“It’s okay, Alex. It wasn’t your fault. I swear I’m going to grab that David by the …”

“Teresa!” My dad cut her off quickly before she went any further.

Every year, at least once, there was an incident. Somehow, I would be on the wrong end of a prank or a bully’s fist. Each time it happened my reaction was always the same. Take whatever was being done to me and then run and hide. I would hide away for hours. Each time something happened I could feel myself getting closer and closer to a precipice. I didn’t know what it would take for me to reach the edge of that cliff, or what it would take to push me over, but there was something inside of me that knew a day of reckoning was coming.

With all of the bad things that were going on, it would be easy to assume that my life was always a nightmare. At the time I thought it was, but even nightmares have their occasional bright spots. There were times when I actually managed to forget all of the bad things that were happening in my life. One of those times came just before I started fifth grade. My dad and Peter had decided that they needed a guys weekend, and they wanted to go fishing. The plan was for them to head out to some place Peter had found up in Tennessee. The fishing was supposed to be the best. To top things off, they both decided they wanted to rough it. I think this is because Mom and Debbie had been giving them a hard time about how manly they were. Dad and Peter had decided they were man enough to go camping for an entire weekend. Mom and Debbie decided it would be a great weekend for them to have a getaway as well. Allison would easily be able to stay with one of her friends which left just me to deal with. My dad didn’t hesitate in saying that I should go with him.

What I didn’t know at the time was that neither my dad, nor Peter, knew a thing about camping. I just assumed that they knew what they were doing. Even when we were stopping at Walmart on the way up to Tennessee to buy tents, sleeping bags, camping stoves, and a ton of other things. I just assumed the adults knew what they were doing. I didn’t realize that we could be in trouble until we actually got to Tennessee.

The problems started right away. My dad graduated at the top of his class. He’s extremely smart and is wonderful with animals, but give him directions to set up a tent and he’s clueless. Somehow the flexible rods that are supposed to keep the tent up snapped clean in two. We ended up having to go to the local dollar store and buy some string. We tied the tent to a tree branch and had it rigged as best we could. That is until about eleven that night when the string broke and the tent came crashing down on us.

Peter wasn’t much better. I’ll give him credit - he at least managed to put up his tent, and thankfully he bought one big enough for all of us, because we ended up having to use his tent the rest of the weekend. What started the whole idea of the camping trip was Peter talking about fishing. To hear the man talk, you’d think he was some world renowned angler. Come to find out he’d never baited a hook in his life. Peter was an excellent businessman. He’d come from very humble roots and managed to buy a working horse ranch, but give him a hook and he suddenly became the world’s biggest klutz. It wasn’t until after Peter had managed to get about three or four hooks stuck in various parts of his body that he managed to successfully bait his hook and cast his reel. You’d think that things couldn’t get any worse, but hilariously they did.

We got to Tennessee on Friday afternoon and got set up. Dad and Peter managed to get a little fishing in, though I use the word fishing very loosely. Saturday things took a turn for the worse. Neither my dad, nor Peter, had given any thought to what we were going to eat.

“What are we going to do for breakfast?” I asked as we all started to move around in the morning.

Both of the adults looked at each other and I could tell they were having an unspoken conversation. I just held in my laugh. Peter was the one who spoke up.

“We’ll run into town and get some biscuits or something. Then we’ll come back and catch our lunch and dinner. I bet we catch enough to take back home and put in the freezer,” he said as he also realized that we were going to go into town after not having had a shower for over twenty-four hours. Thank God for Axe body spray.

By the time we got dressed, went into town, ate breakfast at McDonalds, and came back to the campsite it was just after eleven. We grabbed our newly bought fishing gear and headed down to the river to try and catch our lunch, which we’d be wanting to eat in the next hour or so. Three hours later we were all hungry and none of us had caught anything. Peter was getting frustrated and reared back to cast his line out as far as he could.

The problem was that he snagged it on something. He yanked several times to free the line. Just as it came free though, he was jerking again. The hook flew through the air and embedded itself into his shoulder. Admittedly it wasn’t as funny when it first happened, but after my dad pulled the hook out and put some antiseptic ointment on it, they both decided that we were just going to grab a hotel room tonight, maybe go see a movie and head back home Sunday afternoon.

Both men had sworn me to secrecy on the way home that Sunday afternoon. Peter dropped us off at the house and my mom came out to greet us. She had a big smile on her face. I could tell that whatever they’d done that weekend had refreshed her a lot.

“How was it? Did y’all catch anything?”

I started to say something, but my dad jumped in very quickly. Probably too quickly.

“It was great! Just what we needed. A little male bonding and some great fishing.”

My mom had a suspicious look on her face, “Y’all didn’t bring home any fish for us? We could have had a fish fry next weekend or something.”

My dad was already heading towards his room, but spoke quickly. It was clear that he and Peter had discussed what they were going to say because he’d obviously rehearsed things.

“We were going to. Peter had his cooler ready to go, but the game warden came by and told us for some reason they were only allowing you to catch what you could eat. They wouldn’t let you take anything home. It was weird.” He then disappeared into his room.

My mom looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I just shook my head in a negative manner and headed to my room. I could hear her laughing even as I shut the door to my room.

Allison and I were growing up and becoming better and better friends. She was still the only person I ever really talked to. I learned about her parents and what they did. I learned about her father and his horse ranch. She told me how her father had been the manager for a horse farm in Kentucky. He was in charge of the entire place, second only to the owner. When the owner died of a massive heart attack, his children didn’t want to deal with the farm and decided to sell the whole thing. Allison was initially upset because they were selling all of the horses and turning the farm into some sort of new subdivision. When Peter was let go, having been very well taken care of, he looked around and found he ranch in Georgia.

I also took the time to learn about her. Allison made it happen, really. She just started sharing herself with me. She told me things she liked and didn’t like, and occasionally I would respond in kind with something I liked. I learned about her love of Disney. She had been fascinated with anything concerning the House of Mouse ever since she was a baby. She collected all the movies, even the ones that were targeted for boys. Allison would give me as much information about herself as I could absorb, but not once did she press me for anything I wasn’t willing to talk about.

She would ask me about the many incidents that I’d had that pressed me closer and closer to a looming darkness, but never once did she join in the ridiculing. Several times she stepped in to stop something before it happened. Allison was one of those people that everyone seemed to like. She had this incredible warmth about her that drew everyone to her, so when she said something … people listened. But even Allison, and all her kindness, couldn’t stop everything. No amount of goodness in a single person can overcome the hatred and coldhearted callousness of others. Still, those few days a week that I got to sit with Allison was a respite of warmth in the otherwise constant rain that was my life.

I even started going over to her house on occasions. That mostly started because her mom and my mom struck up a friendship after the incident at Allison’s birthday party. It seemed at least once a week our moms were hanging out at one house or another. Before too long that started to include me or Allison tagging along to keep each other company.

The foaling season starts in May and runs through September at the latest. Foals can be born at other times, but it’s not the standard. A few weeks before we were supposed to start sixth grade Dad got a call from Peter Moon to see if he could come check out all of the new foals just to give them a clean bill of health. This wasn’t anything new since Dad was probably the best horse veterinarian in the county. He worked on other animals but horses were his specialty. He asked me if I wanted to tag along and I didn’t mind. I had already started developing an eye for horses. It started by reading.

You see, I am a nerd and I make no bones about it. Allison wasn’t just my best friend, she was my only friend. We hung out all the time, but unlike me, Allison had lots of other friends. She’d have sleepovers all the time, or go to other people’s houses. Anytime she had company she would try to get me to get involved but I always had some excuse. I was always good in school and got my homework done fairly quickly. Of course, I played video games but I could only do that for so long before I wanted to do something else. So I read – a lot! The first book I remember falling in love with was The Black Stallion. From there I moved on to other horses in books and mythology. I read about Tug from The Ranger’s Apprentice, and of course, Shadowfax from The Lord of the Rings. All that meant that I really did enjoy spending time around the horses. It wasn’t something I loved right away. My first time riding on a horse, I quite clearly remember being terrified; but that changed, pretty quickly. I learned to ride and I learned to love it.

I brought along several apples with me with the intent to maybe feed some of the new foals or some of the mares. Dad sequestered himself in the barn where I knew he would be most of the day since he had quite a few foals to look over. I started out by watching the foals as they played in the small paddock, I even found myself running around with them. At the time Peter dealt mostly in American quarter horses or paint horses. They were two of the most popular and most useful breeds of horses in the world so he made quite a bit of money off of them. I never formed a real bond with any of them, but I did enjoy playing with them. I was sitting down in the paddock with a chestnut foal practically laying in my lap when I saw him.

Standing alone in the next paddock over was a beautiful bay stallion that I had seen around the farm several times. He wasn’t just brown, he was a rich chocolate color that, if you looked at it just right, you’d think he was black. I had one more apple that I was going to feed to the foals, but something pulled me towards that horse. Whiskey was his name, at least that’s the name I had heard Peter calling him when he spoke with Dad. They’d been working on saddle training him though I wasn’t sure how far along they had come. I swear it was like the horse was looking into my very soul. I didn’t run to the fence where he was, instead I walked casually as I made my way over to him. When I was getting closer I held out the last remaining apple.

“You hungry, Whiskey?”

He stomped and snorted so I stopped for a few moments and when I thought he was relaxed a bit I got closer – all the while I was talking to him as calmly as I could. Finally I was leaning on the wooden fence trying to give an apple to this magnificent creature. With one hand holding the apple so he could take a giant bite I started running my hand along his neck. Then I just went with my gut.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I decided then and there that I needed to ride Whiskey. However, I didn’t want to risk Peter or my dad telling me no. I didn’t want to waste the time trying to go get him saddled. Something called to me. It was as if the horse itself was begging me to go riding. So I climbed up on the fence, grabbed a fist full of mane and slowly eased my way onto his back. I was only on him for a split second. It was just enough time for me to reach up and take another fist full of mane with my right hand. Before I had time to mentally check to make sure I was ready, Whiskey was ready to go. Suddenly we were off like lightning.

Now you have to understand something about the American Quarter Horse. It’s one of the most popular breeds of horses in the world and it got its name from being able to outrun most any other breed for short distances. If you are running a quarter mile or less, the American Quarter Horse can probably beat you. It’s been clocked at up to fifty-five miles per hour. Whiskey was probably the fastest horse that we had, a fact that I found our very quickly.

I had to squint my eyes because the wind was making my eyes water so much I could hardly see. I was using my knees to try and keep myself balanced on the horse. Whiskey was just having fun. We ran along the fence for a bit before he turned and ran towards some of the other horses that were also in the paddock. He ran right through them and they split so that we could come through. It reminded me of God parting the water so that Moses and the Israelites could get away from Pharaoh's army.

At that moment I felt more alive than I ever had. I could hear my heart beating and feel the blood rushing all over my body. This right here, this moment, it felt right. The paddock we were in at the time was one of the larger paddocks and ran along the main road from the barn towards the main house where Allison and her parents lived. I wasn’t sure where Whiskey wanted to go or even if he was trained enough to take commands, but I tried. I gently pulled on his mane with my left hand. Not enough to hurt him but enough to try and signal where I wanted to go. Thankfully he responded like I wanted to. He turned and headed towards the house. Debbie was off with my mom doing only God knows what, which left Allison at home. She had a friend over. I didn’t know if they’d see me or if they’d even care, but for once I wanted someone to see something I had done.

As I got closer to the house I saw Allison and her friend Natalie doing something in the front yard. Natalie was a year younger than we were but she had known Allison for several years. As I was rushing past them I saw Allison and registered that she was trying to say something but I was gone too quick to grasp what she was saying. The only thing that I did see was a look of surprise on her face when I raced by her. Suddenly, in my mind, I was transformed. I was no longer Alex the Pathetic, a scared little boy who didn’t like to talk to people. I wasn’t a wimp who was constantly bullied. Now I was Alexander the Great riding Bucephalus into battle. It wasn’t just my horse that I heard. Now I heard the sound of a thousand horses rushing into battle behind me. I was no longer a coward who ran from everyone. I was the bravest hero who led the most powerful army in the world. I was invincible.

I turned Whiskey back towards the direction of the barn and as the barn came into view I could see both my dad and Peter standing outside. They weren’t looking for me, at least it didn’t seem that way. They were focused on the small paddock where the foals were being kept, but when they heard the beat of hooves against the ground - when they heard the sound of Alexander the Great’s army riding behind me, they had to turn and look at me. I couldn’t register their faces either, but I needed to tell them how happy I was. I pulled back on Whiskey’s mane to try and bring him to a stop. He was more reluctant to do this than he was to turn where I wanted him too, but eventually he came to a stop and allowed me to hop down off of his back. I was immediately rubbing his neck and forehead, showering him with praise.

“That was so good! Whiskey you’re awesome!”

He accepted my praise, but when he noticed my dad and Peter jogging towards me he turned and headed the other way. I didn’t waste any time though. I rushed towards my dad and practically leapt to give him a giant hug.

“DAD! DID YOU SEE ME! HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME!”

I registered it for a brief second. My dad wanted to yell at me. Peter wanted to tell me how stupid I was being, but in my excitement I threw them off their game. They didn't know what to make of it.

Dad finally sighed, “What were you doing? You could have been really hurt.”

“Alex, your dad’s right. Whiskey hasn’t been completely broken yet. He hasn’t had a rider before. What possessed you to get on him? Bareback no less!”

I thought about it for a second and the answer just seemed natural to me, “It’s what he wanted.”

“What?” Dad asked.

“Seriously, it’s what he wanted. I mean I was playing around with the foals when he came over to the fence. It was like I could hear him in my head. He wanted to go running. He wanted to run with me. So I gave him an apple, got on his back and we just RAN!” I laughed.

Both Peter and my dad were still trying to be mad. Peter was trying to be a responsible horse owner, and in hindsight it was a stupid thing to do. But he couldn’t be mad at me. My dad was trying to be a good parent and let his only child know that he was doing something irresponsible and stupid. But he couldn’t be mad at me because for perhaps the first time in my life I was excited about something.

“I want to do it again!”

I saw my dad’s face turn into a smile first, with Peter right behind him.

“Why don’t you let Whiskey relax a bit and maybe next time use a saddle. I told you, you can go riding so long as Peter says it’s okay and we know where you are. If you get hurt your mom would kill me.”

We all laughed and Peter finally spoke up, “Okay, so tell me. Was he fast?”

“I COULD BARELY SEE!” I was jumping up and down practically coming out of my shoes. “I don’t think I’ve ever gone so fast in my life! That was the most amazing thing EVER!"

Peter smirked, “Damnit, Alex, you realize you just rode my horse before I got to ride him for the first time?”

“Wait, really?”

He nodded, “Lou and I have only been working with him for a few weeks. We haven’t even put a saddle on him yet.”

I laughed, “Just ride him without one. He likes that better.”

“He does, does he?” Peter laughed, “Well, I think I’ll stick to a saddle for now. But at least I know he can be ridden.”

“You’ll love it!”

“Alex,” he got serious for a second, “I’m very happy that you had fun. I’m also very relieved you didn’t get hurt. If something had happened and Whiskey had gotten injured that would have been bad, but if you had been hurt in any way then I would never have forgiven myself.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I don’t mind you riding horses. In fact, I think it’s great you want to ride more. Any time you ever want to go riding you just let me know and I’ll be happy to help, but promise me one thing. Promise me that you will never do something like you just did. Always let someone know that you’re going out and for God sakes, use a damn saddle.” He finished with a hearty laugh that got us all to laughing.

“I promise,” I said with a laugh.

I was twelve when I first got to see the inside of Allison’s room. It had a lot of things you’d expect to find in a young girl’s room, but it wasn’t overly girly. The walls weren’t pink, but instead a soft blue color. She didn’t have pictures of teen heartthrobs covering her wall, but pictures of various Disney characters she had drawn over the years. I was impressed by how good she was at drawing. She saw me looking at one of the pictures and laughed as she saw which one it was.

“I drew that one last year. I was watching Snow White again and my mom made a joke about how hard it must have been to clean up after seven people. She said if it were her, she’d be on strike. That’s what made me think of that drawing.” I looked back at the picture that had Snow White marching with a sign over her head. Don’t get me wrong - the drawing wouldn’t have won any sort of awards, but it was still really good for an eleven-year old.

I was almost afraid to walk around her room. I knew about girls. After all, I had reached the advanced age of twelve. I knew about the strange feelings that happened in my chest when girls talked to me, not that many did, other than Allison. I knew all about the male and female anatomies. I knew where babies came from and the basics of how they were made. We had all endured health education classes. We all knew about the hormones that were beginning to make themselves known. I was shy, but that didn’t mean I was immune to the tendencies of a growing boy. Allison was a girl and the only one who was ever kind to me. I didn’t want to do anything to upset her. So, as I stood in the center of her room looking around, I was taken by surprise when I spotted a doll on one of her shelves.

I knew that doll! It was the gift I had given her in first grade. It was what set off a chain reaction of events that shaped who I currently was. There on her shelf, encased in a glass box that I didn’t remember giving her, was a nearly 3-foot-tall Cinderella doll adorned in the classic light blue dress made so popular by the movie. The doll had a little age on it, and it was clear that as a little girl Allison had played with it often, but there was no mistaking what it was.

“You kept that?”

“Of course I did!” Allison crossed the room and took the doll from the glass box. With her back to me I couldn’t see her face, but she was looking down at the doll.

“Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I keep it? It was a birthday gift from you.”

“Yeah, some gift it turned out to be. Everyone made fun of us for it.”

“No, they made fun of you. I was okay.”

I grimaced as she said that. She had never said anything unkind to me and though I didn’t think she was trying to be mean, I couldn’t help but be hurt by her statement.

“I’m sorry, Alex! I didn’t mean it like that.” She turned around and looked at me, her smile gone as a look of concern washed over her. “I just meant that… I mean…”

“Don’t worry about it.” I tried to make it seem like I didn’t care, but as the old saying goes, the eyes never lie.

There was a strange silence that crossed between us as she reached up to put the doll back in its glass case. I didn’t know what to say, and for the first time since I had known her neither did Allison. The other strange thing was that it was the first time I found myself not wanting to be around Allison.

“Allison, I should go.”

“You really scared me that day.” She was ignoring what I said. I could tell by her eyes that she had an agenda. In that split second, she had set herself a goal and nothing was going to stop her until she achieved it. I just didn’t know what that goal was.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to ruin your birthday.”

“You didn’t ruin my birthday.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Alex, I promise you, you didn’t ruin my birthday. I mean it’s not exactly the birthday that I’m going to be telling my kids about one day, but you didn’t ruin it for me.” There it was again … The Silence. Seconds seemed to stretch into minutes. Minutes became hours. At least that’s the way it seemed to my twelve-year-old mind.

Something else happened in that moment. For the first time since that first day she walked into my first-grade class … I saw her. I mean I really looked at her. Her hair was still this blond mane of thick curls. She had thinned it down some over the years, but it was still a mass of curls that came down past her shoulders. She had lips that were naturally red and slightly plump. She had a smattering of freckles across her cheeks and delicate nose that, to me, only made her more beautiful. But still, the most striking thing about her were those eyes. They were the brightest green I had ever seen. You couldn’t even call them emerald green because that would be too dark. If a diamond were green that would have been what her eyes looked like. I was staring at her and couldn’t stop. I wanted to look away but couldn’t. She was going to think I was some weird pervert, but I’d have to live with that. She was just too beautiful for me to stop looking at. I didn’t know what to say or do. Thankfully, it was Allison who broke the silence, her smile shrouding the seriousness of what she was about to ask me.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?” I shook my head and looked down at my feet.

“That day, at my party when you ran, why did you do it? I mean … I get that everyone was making fun of you. And I was trying to stop them. I was trying to stand up for you, but you wouldn’t say anything. Then the next thing I know you just ran away. I thought you hated me or something.”

“I couldn’t ever hate you. You’re one of the only people who doesn’t seem to hate me.”

“Then why did you run?”

“I don’t like people.”

“But you like me, right?”

“You’re different. Ever since I was a baby, I’ve been shy. My mom used to tell me all the time that I only had like two or three people I would let hold me. If anyone else picked me up I would cry until they put me down. I get shy around people.”

“Don’t you want to have other friends? I mean I never see you with anyone else. The only time you sit with anyone at lunch is when I sit with you.”

“Of course I’d like friends!” I yelled, though I didn’t mean to, but I got a little mad at what she was saying. I wasn’t some charity case. I didn’t need her to grace me with her presence so that she could feel better about herself. “You don’t think I’d like to have people I could hang out with on a Saturday afternoon? You don’t think I’d like to have a friend I could call and go ride a bike with? I’d love to have someone I could talk about the newest video game with. Who doesn’t want friends?”

“Then why don’t you…” her voice was soft, as if she had been reprimanded, but she wasn’t going to give up. She wanted a little glimpse of me, and for some reason, consequences be damned, I was going to give it to her.

“Because I CAN’T!” The Silence overtook us again. Allison looking down at her feet now as I stared at her. I was mad now. “I can’t say anything to anyone because, when I do, I freeze up. I try to make myself get up and ask to join someone else’s table but for some reason my feet won’t work. And God forbid if someone else comes over to me and tries to say something! You can’t POSSIBLY understand how terrifying it is!”

“Then tell me!”

“It’s like someone reaches up and grabs me by the throat and just begins to squeeze. They squeeze me so hard that I can’t breathe. Then it’s like I feel something wrapping itself around my chest. It’s like a giant anaconda is coiling up around me, trying to crush me so it can swallow me whole! What makes matters worse now is that no matter what I do, I’m always the outcast. I’m always the one that people like Jake and Mark and David and hell, even Jennifer, look at and immediately hate for no damn reason!”

“If you just let me…” I stopped her cold again.

“Let you what?! Let you introduce me to someone? Like I’m your fucking pet? Oh, yeah! That’s a great idea.”

I didn’t usually swear, but Allison had unwillingly unleashed a torrent of emotions that I had been holding back for six years. It wasn’t her fault, and someone as sweet and kind as her didn’t deserve the verbal assault I was unleashing, but I couldn’t stop. I could only hope she was the type of person who would eventually forgive me and somehow … understand.

“I don’t need to be a charity case for you! I don’t need anyone to do anything for me! I’ve come this far by myself and didn’t need anyone else! In fact, every time someone has tried to do something for me, it’s backfired. Every damn time someone has tried to force me to make new friends I end up being the one hurt! At your birthday party it was my mom who made me go. I was going to make the best of it, though. She took me to pick out a gift. We were walking around the mall trying to find something. Then I saw that Cinderella doll and I remembered you had Disney Princess invitations. So, we got that. What did that get me? That got me laughed at and bullied until I ran away.

“My mom made me go to David Taylor’s sleepover last year. I BEGGED her not to make me go. I knew something bad was going to happen, but she made me. She said it was going to be a good thing for me! And what happened? I got stripped naked and made to stay outside. I ran away again in the freezing rain until my dad came and found me sometime after midnight. So, no, Allison … I don’t just need to let you do a damn thing! I’m tired of people trying to do things for me. You don’t know me. You can’t possibly understand a damn thing about me!”

The Silence once again returned with a vengeance. There was a pregnant pause in the air as Allison tried to come to terms with what I had just said, and I tried to fully grasp the fact that I had let everything out all at once. I couldn’t even look at her. Not because I was mad at her, but because I was ashamed. Allison had never been anything but kind to me, and yet I had unleashed my own personal hell on her. Part of me wanted to immediately apologize, but another, stronger, part of me needed to unleash things that I had been holding back for years. Allison had unwittingly, and unfairly, become the focus of my ire. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to take back everything I said, but my life is not that easy. The next words we heard came from my mom.

“Alex! Come on. We have to go.”

There was a brief moment when I almost apologized but the darker part of me hardened. Allison, no matter how sweet she had been in the past, was just like everyone else. She was trying to make me do something I wasn’t willing to do. She didn’t understand how hard it was for me. She had no clue how difficult my life was. And now she was telling me what I needed to do like she was some lofty angelic messenger sent from God himself to deliver some divine revelation about my life. Well … no matter how breathtakingly beautiful she was, I didn’t need someone else in my life to do that.

“I gotta go.” And with nothing else said I stormed from her room, walking past my mom and Debbie, ignoring Debbie as she told me goodbye. “I’ll be in the car.”

CHAPTER THREE

The ride home was quiet for the first few miles. Allison lived on one side of Judson and we lived on the other. It wasn’t a long drive, but all of Judson was a speed trap. So you had to be careful when driving. I could feel my mom’s eyes boring into the side of my head every time she glanced over at me.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Dammit, Alex. What in the hell is going on?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” I knew not to yell at my mom, but she was also part of the problem.

“Don’t you DARE raise your voice at me, Alex! I am your MOTHER and you WILL respect me! Now I have NEVER been one to force you to do anything, but …”

“That’s a fucking lie …”

I could see the words coming from my mouth as soon as I spoke them. I wanted desperately to grab them and force them back into my mouth before she could hear them, but that wasn’t possible. If you didn’t grow up in the deep south, then you may not know how mothers down here act. Mother’s in the south don’t abide by the law that says you can’t inflict cruel and unusual punishment. Southern mothers don’t believe in timeouts. Southern mothers were raised with bible thumping parents who fully believed in the old adage, spare the rod and spoil the child. As soon as I heard those come from my mouth, I knew I was royally screwed.

Her reaction was quick. It was a slap across my face like I had never felt. I had been beaten by kids my own age, but never had I felt the heated sting of my mother’s hand across my face. She wouldn’t say anything else to me until we pulled into our driveway. The car was barely turned off when she was around to the passenger side, yanking me from the door by the arm. She pulled me into the kitchen ignoring my dad’s questions for what was going on. My dad, usually the one who could call my mom back from her tempers, knew this was a moment he was powerless. I wasn’t sure what she was doing when she pulled me through the living room and into the bathroom. I tried pulling away, but that only seemed to feed her anger. My eyes went wide when she grabbed a bar of soap, wet it beneath the faucet, and shoved it into my mouth. I seemed like she was trying to make me swallow the whole thing.

“I don’t EVER want to hear you talk to me like that again! You wanna talk like an adult and act like a little child then I’m going to treat you like one. You use that sort of filthy language to me and I’m going to clean your mouth out!”

I tried to spit the soap out, but she kept pushing it back in. I was gagging and nearly choking when my dad finally managed to get her attention. “TERESA! That’s ENOUGH!"

She seethed in anger as she simply pointed to my room and moved out of the way so that I could get by. Once I was safe inside my room I went straight to the trash can by my desk and immediately began to throw up everything I had ever eaten. I stopped only for a brief moment to catch my breath before I started again. With the contents of my stomach now completely empty I went to my bed, curled up onto my side and pulled my knees to my chest. It was nearly an hour later when I heard the door to my room open. I could tell just from the way he walked that my dad was coming to try and talk to me. He sat on the bed and rubbed his hand along my arm.

“Alex, tell me what happened today.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Son, something is bothering you. Your mom and I are worried about you.”

“It’s nothing.”

He sat in silence waiting in vain for me to start telling him whatever was on my mind, but words never came. After he left the tears finally came. I cried in silence, not wanting to make any sounds. The last thing I wanted was for my parents to come in and try to talk to me. They couldn’t possibly understand what I was going through. They were just like Allison. They were trying to force me to do things. They thought they knew what was best for me, but every time they made me do something, I was the one who ended up hurt, crying, and lost after running away.

That night I heard my mom call me to dinner, but I never got up. When I heard her coming down the hall to get me I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. My back was still to the door so when she opened the door all she saw was my curled up beneath my blankets. There was a part of me, small though it were, that was trying to talk. That part of me, buried deep in the recesses of my mind, was trying to be logical and call out for help, but logic and emotion are like oil and water. The two things just don’t mix. My emotions were way too poignant for logic to play a part in any of my actions. The sad part was that, the longer my emotions took hold of me, the harder it was for me to hear the logical side of my brain.

I gave her a few moments to get back into the kitchen before the logical part of me won out. I started to head towards the kitchen, with the intent to talk to them about what happened. I was still fighting with myself about what to say and how much. I knew they worried about me and the last thing I wanted to do was make them more scared. It had been a practice of mine to be as quiet as possible. Our house was old and would creak and moan if you walked in certain areas. During the day that wasn’t an issue but at night if you were trying to sneak in and get a snack, it could potentially wake up your very light sleeping parents. So I knew how to walk and where to step to keep the house from making those sounds. I heard my parents talking and right away I knew they were talking about me.

“I know I went too far, but I just don’t know what to do!”

That voice belonged to my mom. I could tell she was tired, physically and emotionally.

“We’ve tried everything we know of. We’ve tried getting him involved in things. We’ve sent him to camp. We’ve forced him to go out with people. Every time we do something it backfires!”

She was trying to keep her voice down, but you could tell she was at the end of her rope.

“It hasn’t all been bad. He met Allie. That’s been the best thing that’s happened to him.”

“A lot of good that did him today. Debbie called me. Allie won’t tell her what happened other than to say Alex yelled at her for no reason.”

“She won’t say what they were arguing about?”

“No, she won’t.”

“I’m sure they’ll work it out.”

“I hope so. What are we going to do with him? We can’t keep going like this.”

There was a long bout of silence and I almost went in, but then my dad started talking.

“Maybe part of the problem is that we’ve pushed him too much. He’s shy. He’s always been that way. Maybe part of the problem is that we’ve pushed him farther and harder than he was ready for.”

“So what do we do? Nothing?”

“That’s exactly what we do. Nothing. Let him make his own path. Maybe he’ll come out of this.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“We watch him. We have to understand that things are going to happen. We just have to let him make his own choices. If he screws up we’ll be there.”

“What if he doesn’t get better? What if we keep dealing with this?”

My dad sighed, “Then we’ll do what we have to do. We’ll get the help we need. We’ll send him wherever we need to send him.”

I had heard enough and as quickly as I could, and with the same practiced silence, I slipped back into my room. Send me where I needed to go? What were they talking about? Did they want to send me to some sort of military school? That was the last thing I needed. Whatever they planned to do, I needed to avoid it. I had to play my cards right. They couldn’t know anything that was going on with me. Whatever was actually going to happen, they’d know as little as possible.

The Monday after that incident with Allison I waited for her at lunch. It was probably the last little part of Logical Me, that was trying to get a hold on the situation before it got much more out of hand, but the emotional part of me was too strong. Yes, I wanted Allison to sit with me. I wanted her to talk to me, but SHE had wronged ME. It wasn’t my job to apologize to her. She had to say something to me. Only then would I accept her apology and things could maybe go back to how they were before. When she came into the lunchroom, I saw her. Everyone did. It was hard to miss someone with such simplistic beauty and strong warmth. Yet when her eyes met mine the smile that was always on her face seemed to melt away.

Instead I found myself looking at a face that was dueling emotions. Her lips were taught in anger, and her brow furrowed as if saying, YEAH! I AM PISSED AT YOU JACKASS! But her eyes, those brightly shining green diamonds, had dulled. They weren’t angry. They were hurt. There was a sadness both for me and because of me. She didn’t walk to me though. Instead she turned towards a table of her other friends. She gave me a pointed stare as if letting me know she was punishing me. When I looked at the table, I could see Jennifer Hansen sitting across from her. The two seemed to strike up a conversation as if they were the best of friends.

I could have maybe dealt with that, but it was the side glances I kept getting from Allison that somehow helped me put a permanent muzzle on the logical part of my brain. I grabbed my lunch bag and stormed out of the room. I didn’t know where I was going, but I couldn’t stay there. We had a courtyard where some of the students would go to eat, but that would put me too close of a proximity to Allison. I had to go further. So instead I headed straight for the woods that bordered the western part of the school. It was far enough away that no one would know where I went and wouldn’t be able to see me without looking really hard. However, it was close enough that I could hear the bell to end the lunch period and still have enough time to get to my P.E. class right after lunch.

I should have known something was going to happen right from the start, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was too lost in my own emotional state of mind to pick up on the clues. Truth is that I’m a smart kid. I’ve always made straight A’s in school. Not having any extracurricular activities, or friends to occupy my time outside of school, I would read. I’d read anything I could get my hands on. It didn’t matter to me whether it was the latest Harry Potter book or a textbook, I loved to read. Information was one of those things that people couldn’t take from me. Once I had the information safely stored away in my brain, it was there forever and nothing that anyone could do could change that. It was a bit of a comfort for me. I wasn’t one of those geniuses who had photographic memory and could remember what I ate on a random day when I was seven, but I was smart. However, no amount of knowledge can make up for the emotions of a twelve-year-old boy lost in his own self-deprecating torment. I failed to pick up on the subtle clues that should have been obvious.

“Alright line up on the line!” Coach Thompson called out to us. We always started out class the same way. We had a five to ten-minute warm up routine that Coach said would make sure we didn’t get hurt, but we all knew what was coming today. The two metal racks of red rubber balls let us know. Today was a game of dodgeball.

“Green! Taylor!” Coach called Mark and David. Why he never called us by our first names I’ll never know. “You guys are captains today. I’m not putting you two on the same team again. Pick your teams, boys.”

Oh, that process was about as cliché as you could have gotten. Mark and David just looked at each other with a shit eating grin. It was another one of those clues I was missing. I knew I would be the last one picked so I wasn’t paying attention to what they were doing. I wasn’t noticing the silent communication they were having between themselves. When the teams were chosen and we went to opposite ends of the gym I had the wonderful privilege of being on Mark’s team, and Mark was quick to make sure he put me one the front line. I was actually okay with this. I could get hit first and be able to sit most of the class, but that wasn’t the case. It was another one of those signs that I missed.

When Coach Thompson blew the whistle to start the game everyone ran to try and get a ball. I just stayed where I was at. I knew I’d be thrown at first so what was the point of even trying? One by one I heard the bright red balls bouncing off of the floor, walls, or even other kids. What was shocking to me was that not one of them was being thrown at me. That was the first sign that something was up. I was EXPECTING a ball to my face from David or someone on his team. What I WASN’T expecting was Mark to have thrown the ball as hard as he could right into the back of my head. I stumbled forward and nearly fell on my face, turning around to look at Mark.

“Sorry, Alex. It must have slipped.” Mark was laughing. Mark was dumb, there was just no other way to say it. He should have been in the grade ahead of us, but his parents had held him back. He was just as tall as I was, but he was also fat. I don’t mean obese like some of those women you see in Walmart at two in the morning, but he was the type of guy who would be a great offensive lineman in high school if he could manage to keep his weight under control.

That was a preview of Georgia Moonbeams. To read the rest purchase the book.

Add «Georgia Moonbeams» to Cart