How to F**k Mom
Igor Pajic
How To F**k Mom
Igor Pajic
Taboo Dreams
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Copyright © 2025 Igor Pajic
All rights reserved
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Cover design by: Taboo Dreams
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Cover design by: Taboo Dreams
Well, no plans for another weekend. Not what I had anticipated from my post-college life.
A brief history. In the first grade, I began to stammer in class. In a note to my parents, my teacher inquired as to what was causing my anxiety. Not at all. American family life in its entirety. I had two loving parents and an older sister. I began to stutter everywhere after a few months. I couldn't hear the lecture because I had fluid in my ears, it turned out. That's what frightened me.
After attempting to dry up my ears using tubes in my eardrums, they had to go all out and remove my tonsils and adenoids. My hearing eventually returned to normal after it worked. My uneasiness, nevertheless, persisted. I even experienced sleeplessness for a while. I would monitor the clock while lying in bed. I became increasingly anxious the later it got. It kind of builds itself up. It was second grade. My mother fixed that by giving me a clock radio as a Christmas gift. For a few years, my mother would come over and turn it off every night as I slept.
My sleeplessness and hearing were eventually "cured," but my stutter persisted. This was severe stuttering that was nearly impossible to understand. I began receiving assistance from a speech counselor in the tenth grade (thank you, thank you, thank you). My stuttering had stopped by the time I arrived at college. However, I believe I never mastered the "rules" of being friendly and missed out on learning how to interact. I lacked confidence in all social situations, particularly when it came to dating. Although I never experienced actual bullying as a child, I always sensed that others felt uneasy around me. Others became anxious and wanted me to simply spit out whatever I was saying. I therefore didn't have many friends in high school. I think I was a bit of a recluse and, to some extent, shy, but I also didn't make friends easily. The 'good guy' in the back of the room was me. I didn't attend any proms in high school and never had a girlfriend.
Mom was one person who always understood me. When I was younger, we had a lot of heart-to-heart conversations. When I attempted to be funny, Dad would occasionally become a bit annoyed, but Mom always understood my sense of humor.
My dad passed away from a heart attack when I was in the eleventh grade. My sister was still in her final year of high school. We needed to sort of pull together. We weren't very wealthy, but we were okay because my mom had everything she needed, and my dad works as a teacher. We also had life insurance. As they say, life happens. We were always a tight family, and it seemed like we became closer for a few years before going off to college.
And there were roughly 60% more women than guys at my college. Even I could date a few women with such odds, but I never found "the one." I was around 6' and 165 pounds when I graduated from high school. I gained three additional inches in college for whatever reason. I ended up becoming a 6'3", blond, blue-eyed, in-shape, 200-pound college graduate who lacked social skills and self-confidence.
Alright, so I graduate, find a job (someday) in programming, move into an apartment with a roommate, and move on. Life is good, then. Bring on the ladies. All right, whenever you want. I'm here. Hi there. Not taking place. I tried.
The night Ketty met Leo at the Holiday Inn bar, I was with her. She 'had to' be married, but they were wedded nine months later because they clicked so well. Three years later, with two children already, they appear content. It's funny because neither of them has likely returned to a dance bar since. One of those things, they simply got lucky.
Alright, the issue as I perceive it. The whole social thing was something I never learned. It was never going to work to approach a woman in a pub. dating website. Despite being 6' 3" and blond, I don't seem to be model material. There weren't many hits for me. Out-of-school women appear to be on the rise. Instead of a snotty adolescent with school loans, girls my age are searching for a thirtysomething with a great car and a summer home. I did manage to date a few different women, most of them were in their 30s and had children. They were probably desperate. I worked with a few ladies, but none of them were interested in dating me.
Let's go back to Thursday night, my weekend. I'm 24 years old and still haven't found a partner. That weekend, my roommate and a few of his high school pals were heading to a music festival. I was alone because the music wasn't my taste. I disliked being "alone," even though I consider myself to be a semi-loner. It was time to give Mom a call to check on her availability. Mom was there virtually all the time. I know what's going to happen; the worst part of the call is always the beginning.
"Hello, Mom. To find out what's going on this weekend, I just thought I'd contact you."
"I'll venture a guess. Nothing is happening, and you need to do some laundry and cooking at home. How will you ever find a woman who comes home so frequently, honey? You must be fighting out there.
"As you are aware, Mom, I never change my clothing; instead, I wear them until they are worn out and then discard them. That way, no laundry. However, cooking at home does sound delicious. The 'good fight' is also exhausting me.
"All OK, go home. As usual, nothing is happening for me either. Bring your laundry as well.
For Mom and me, the final bit was somewhat of an inside joke. During breaks while I was in college, I would do my laundry as the final step before leaving for home. I never brought any to her because it's something I can do and there's no need to force it on her. After all, I am, in theory, an adult. On the way, I'll stop and buy some wine and beer. The drive home takes roughly two hours.
"All right, I'll pack tonight and head out tomorrow. Around 7:30 is when you should be home.
"OK honey, see you tomorrow."
A little about Rachel, my mother. 46, a few pounds over her marriage weight, and she's currently estimated to be around 150, 5' 4". with an incredible personality and a lovely face. I've never really looked at her to determine her bra size, so I can only guess. It's obvious, not very big. She seems to relax a bit after Dad passed away. She also wore her hair in an extremely messy, unfeminine way. It's probably easier to care for, but in my opinion, it's also kind of giving up.
When I arrived at Mom's, she had prepared ravioli with meat sauce for supper. On a Friday night, she doesn't have time to prepare the pasta or sauce from scratch because she still has a job, but she does a fantastic job of complementing the premade ingredients. Excellent, in my opinion. accompanied by bread and one of the wine bottles I brought. After putting the beer and other wine away and putting my suitcase in the guest (my former) bedroom, I sat down to eat.
"All right, big boy. Tell me about your dating situation as it stands right now.
Another twenty-minute speech about how attractive I am and how, with a little more work, I would have ladies swooning over me. Although I genuinely adore my mother, she is starting to sound like a one-note recording.
I tried another strategy.
I'm hitting the ball worse now than when I started after a big bucket of balls. I just serve to reinforce negative behaviors. That's how dating is. I'm not skilled enough for it. I only end up seeming more pitiful when I try harder. I'm your favorite son, so you can't see it. We get along well, and I'm not attempting to date you. Bars are just a depressing place to be. Dating apps don't work for me either, though I've tried them.
"So that's it, you just give up? Ketty found a husband. I wonder if Ketty could give you the lessons you need."
"Yep, was there that night, 3 years ago. I remember being shot down twice just asking women to dance. Does Ketty even still know what's going on out there? It's just harder for guys. Women get to choose who they like and don't like; they just seem to be there. Before even dancing with one person, let alone letting someone take them home, I've witnessed attractive women at a bar snub eight or ten men in a row. Which brings up another topic. It will soon be eight years since Dad's death. When will you resume your hunt? You are still of dating age, but I also loved Dad.
"I'll wager that those guys were shot down by a young, attractive woman. Unbelievably, I attempt dating once. Do you believe that being a woman is easier? Try being a 40-something lady who is out of shape and has few opportunities. Women in their 20s and 30s are the target of all the reasonably successful and attractive males my age.
"Are you implying that we are both SOL, Mom? Just repeating the same old thing is enough. Let's tidy up, turn on a movie, and forget about our problems. Tomorrow, we'll sort it out. Okay, some tomorrow.
We went to our designated movie positions after cleaning up. Mom and I sit on the couch, wine and beer on the coffee table. I enjoy lying back and letting Mom rest her back against my chest. She occasionally rolls up on my chest on her side. We have been seeing films like this since high school, even though it seems a little personal. I believe that we both simply like being in human contact. If it's cold, I'll put a blanket over us and put my arms around her middle.
Tonight, Mom let me operate the television. I started watching a few Netflix films, but I stopped when I reached Summer of 42.
"A decent film. Mom, what are your thoughts?
"I don't believe I've ever seen it, but I have heard of it. "Any good?"
Yes, I just stated that it was. This is the feature film for tonight. Before I begin, are there any preparations I need to make?
"I'm good."
The widow brings Hermie into her bedroom during the consoling, which develops into an extremely intimate moment. Hermie has been pursuing her throughout the film, and she simply needs someone right now. The only background sound is the crash of waves. There are no sex sounds or scenes, but you are aware of what is happening. The widow leaves the following morning, moving on to another life. For me, it was more of a fantasy. Much more erotic than anything on Pornhub, in my opinion.
"Well?"
"All right, I suppose. That part at the end made me uneasy, and it was a group of foolish youngsters.
"Uncomfortable? "Why is that?"
"Well, the woman was exploiting the boy from the standpoint of a mother. Then she's gone. That would influence a young boy.
"Mom, are you aware that every adolescent male dreams about that precise scenario? The author's actual experience served as the inspiration for this film. After all these years, he gave it enough attention to write the story. The writer eventually managed to reach the woman. She was worried that she had permanently damaged him, as she was aware of the book and the film. He hoped her life had gone well and was overjoyed to finally meet the woman who had given him such a wonderful memory.
"So doing an older woman is one of your fantasies?"
"Yes, that really does it for me when you include the feeling, the scene, and the sound of the waves breaking. Not so much doing a 50-year-old hooker in a bordello. You have fantasies, don't you?
"I'm not supposed to talk about my fantasies."
"But you have them?"
"Of course, I'm just not going to tell you about them."
I don't think it's fair. It's still early, anyway. I thought we were supposed to be drowning our sorrows, so let's find another movie."
"All right, you fetch more wine, and I'll find something else to watch. There is no more of the half bottle from dinner.
I opened the other wine for Mom and bought two beers for myself. She chose a romantic comedy, most likely to lift her spirits. Then it was back to viewing the movie. To loosen Mom up a bit, I started refilling her glass whenever I could because I was inquisitive about her hidden fantasies. By the end, she had consumed most of the bottle. For a movie night, it was more than she usually would have.
"So, what did you think?"
Though there was no fantasy content, it was simple enough to enjoy. Two wealthy, attractive individuals fall in love, break up, and then fall in love again. has little bearing on our lives. How was the wine I brought to you? The second bottle was not tasted by me. I'm not too fond of wine, and I'm not sure what's good about it.
"I thought it was okay. Should I just finish the bottle, or did you want any? Tonight, I'm not going to drive."
"Go ahead, Mom. Could we just sit and chat for a little while you're at it? I've moved out a bit.
"All right, Mom, go back to your dreams. You may tell me, or we can play 20 questions. That can't be that strange. You can't really choose what makes you hot, anyway. Either something works or it doesn't. We could talk about anything, you always said. This is anything, then.
"Well, I guess I'm half-looped because you asked so politely. It could turn out to be TMI. I had a wonderful sexual life with your dad. created two wonderful children. But in other respects, I believe he was like you. He was merely a kind man. A woman occasionally enjoys a little risk-taking and a little bad boy in her life. I am aware that kind guys are the best in the long term, of course. stable, helpful, and dependable. Everything is fine. I was lacking a little thrill every now and again.
"You want it rough, don't you? "Difficult?"
"Well, not exactly painful. It was more like being carried away, beyond my control. Not dangerous, but risky. It's absurd; it's more of an emotion or idea than anything else.
"If I'm going too far, Mom, don't respond. Your kind of skirting the issue. Is getting raped, well, your dream?
Mom simply sat and contemplated for a long time.
"Well, I suppose so. Of course, a daydream is one thing, but the real world is quite another. All your father's other positive traits were more than sufficient to control my "darker side" when I was with him. I now spend a lot of time here by myself, letting my thoughts wander.
"You seem to have thought about this a lot. It's not that unusual for some women to fantasize about being raped, in my opinion. That's a little difficult to accomplish in real life without going overboard, so it's best left alone. Of course, it's probably as unlikely for me to fulfill my goal of doing a gorgeous older woman on a beach with emotion and waves.
According to Mom, I was a kind guy—perhaps too nice? For females? Did Mom have a "dark side" as well? It made me think a little. Returning to the age-old dating topic, why do women choose the "bad boy" when they know that a steady, long-term "good guy" is a better option? The wine eventually took over and Mom dozed off while we lay there thinking about the chat. I was content and at ease enough to remain on Mom's couch. After reaching over and extinguishing the table light, I cuddled up with Mom and soon fell asleep. Even if (or especially if) it was Mom, it felt good to be close to a warm body.
The following morning, we were still sitting on the couch. No morning wood, no unauthorized touching. Only two individuals are untangling. After spending the night that way, we were both a touch stiff. Mom would ordinarily have gone to bed sooner, but this isn't the first time we've spent the night on the couch. I suppose it's just the wine working. Saturday was a pleasant day. That evening, I even took Mom out to dinner. She was entitled to occasional outings, but nothing spectacular. We watched another movie after supper. Mom wasn't going to last long because she had consumed some wine during and after supper. She caught me off guard at the end of the film.
"Ian, this couch hurts my back in the morning, so I want to go to bed. But I don't want to move because I'm enjoying having you at my side so much. Can you come up with a way to solve our problem?"
"I understand your question. Are you certain? Is the wine speaking?
"Ian, I'm not asking you to fuck me, just lay with me in my bed overnight, tonight, with me."
"Mom, language! This young person is impressive. Are both of you asking if you intend to rape me overnight?
"That's not your imagination; it's mine. I would have to be raped by you. Furthermore, how can a mother rape an adult male? Particularly a somebody your size? Not feasible.
"Well, I think my fantasy is also ruined because I don't hear any waves. I'd love to share a bed with you, Mom.
We therefore rose, parted ways to prepare for bed, and reassembled in Mom's chamber. Mom was wearing what I believe to be a long t-shirt without a bra. I have no idea about underwear. I didn't want to think about underwear. Mom's underwear. Why is Mom's underwear on my mind all the time? I was only wearing my boxers.
Mom was the first to lie on her side. I switched off the light and positioned myself behind her, spooning. It was pleasant. Comfortable, cozy, and personal. I didn't know where Mom was taking this. Was she looking for more than simply a place to sleep? Has she become more sensitive because of all this discussion about fantasies?
I had to find out, and I was experiencing the moment, even though it's a little perverse. Mom was a woman, of course. A lovely woman with a full physique. A wonderful individual. Was it more than a son that drew my attention? Was she drawn to someone other than a mother? The mere thought of what might happen was turning me on a bit. I sensed that my member was beginning to pay attention. It's not really my fault. To check if she noticed or cared, I did, however, get a little closer to her ass. Trying things out.
"Ian, get that thing off me, or you go back to your room."
Simple, direct, and to the point. Just sleeping. Good enough to know.
"Sorry, Mom, it kind of has a mind of its own. Something about going to bed with a beautiful woman."
Mom sighed, then turned over facing me, then turned me around so she could spoon me from behind with her arm hanging over my chest.
I am aware that Mom only wants what's best for me, just like any other mother. I'm already independent and have a job. For me to be happy in her eyes, I need a wife and most likely children. In my opinion, Mom needs someone other than Ketty and my visits to keep her going now that Dad is gone. Even though Mom and I get along well, being "together" was never really an option because it doesn't address either of our long-term needs. Even if Mom wanted to be with me, you know. However, we both have other, more immediate demands in the short term. Additionally, I am certain that Mom would never act on any incestuous feelings she might have toward daughter.
I heard her breathing slow down as she drifted off to sleep after a few minutes. However, I couldn't immediately that evening. It seems like Mom has romantic cravings and demands that would never materialize in real life. I had a lot of questions, assumptions, and potential outcomes running through my head. Could I please Mom?
Was Mom joking when she said I attacked her? Could she fulfill her fantasy in any way? Could I help Mom come out of her shell, or has she given up on ever dating again? Could she be secretly interested in doing more with me? I was in her bed tonight, but why? Is a 24-year-old sleeping with her mother considered normal? How recently did Mom get laid?
Was I planning an incestuous relationship more for Mom or myself? Why was it that I couldn't ask Mom so many questions in a civilized setting? I always had this tendency to overanalyze everything and consider all aspects at once. But a strategy was being developed. A terrible, wicked, foolish, unlawful, and perhaps, ideally, brilliant scheme. I was unable to acquire my mother's opinion on the plan or get her consent in advance. It was going to be exciting, one way or another.
I was going to be a bad, obedient, appreciative, and generous son. My mother will be raped by me. I must give this some thought.
2 weeks pass.
"Hi, Mom, wanted to call and see how you're doing."
"Hi, honey. Doing the usual. Assume you're coming in? You know what I'm going to say."
"Actually, Mom, I do have plans, just checking in, and I'm still not bringing laundry home. Roger wants to check out a new bar across town and wants a wingman. If I'm lucky, he'll find someone that has a needy friend."
"We talked about this. You are a wonderful catch; you just need to get your confidence up. Promise me you'll go for it this time."
"OK, for your sake, I'll give it the old college try this weekend. Take it easy and let me know if you need anything. I'll see you in a while."
"Good, just don't make it too soon. Keep trying. Momma needs more grandkids."
"OK, Mom, love you, later."
"Love you too. Bye, and good luck."
OK, so far so good. Mom will be home and not expecting me. This is a huge risk. What if I have Mom figured wrong? She could freak out, disown me, call the cops, or have the most exciting night of her life. Or all the above. Am I turned on as well? Absolutely. A couple of 'accessories' for ambiance. I haven't shaved for a couple of days to give me a scruffy feel when I rub my face against hers from behind. Also, I'm going to have a beer just before and have a cigarette. I don't normally smoke, but I thought having it on my breath would somehow add to the wrongness, the rawness. Make me a 'bad boy.' And make her question a little if it's me.
I know Mom's nightly routine from my frequent stays. She will be asleep by 11:30, even on a Saturday night. Give her an extra hour to make sure. Leave my place at 10:30 and drive straight there.
Saturday finally got here. Bruce is off doing his thing tonight; I'm by myself as usual. I'm getting nervous, and excited. Can't believe I'm going to do this. I've even been online trying to find how-to hints on how to rape your mother. Sounds creepy just thinking it. This is just her fantasy, not a 'real' rape. If she tells me to stop, I will. But what if she says stop but really wants me to keep going? Will she know it's me? We talked about this fantasy. She needs to know it's me logically but think it's a stranger emotionally. If I can get into bed, behind her, and she never sees me, at least part of her can pretend it's not me. Very tricky tightrope. God, am I really going to do this? What will this do for my 'good guy' persona? My self-image? I decide to keep going till (if or when) she says my name and breaks the spell. I really love my mom and don't want to hurt her. Thoughts keep swirling in my head. Enough already! I'm, we, are really doing this, tonight. Intense.
10:30. I load a 6 pack of beer and my just bought pack of cigarettes in the car and take off for mom. My thoughts are still swirling. My arms are shaking. Got to get a grip. After 45 minutes I pull over into a rest stop to have a smoke. I messed around with smoking a little in college, but thankfully it never became a habit. I think having one now will calm me down. I'll have another, with a beer, just before I get there.
OK, in town, 5 minutes from moms. I pull into a convenience store parking lot and down a beer with a second smoke. Help take the edge of, a little. One beer is good, but I want to 'fully' experience whatever is about to happen.
I pull up to the house, get out with the beer and smokes, approach the front door, get my key out, wonder four more times if this is a bad idea, say screw it, of course it's a horrible idea, and go inside anyway. I close the door. The house is as dark as I knew it would be. On the way to Mom's bedroom, I pass the kitchen and set my stuff down. Still quiet. Shoes off, then I take my clothes off and set them on the table. Nude, in Mom's house. Instant erection. Feels very wrong and good. Electric.
Mom's house is on the edge of a little town, nobody for several hundred yards. If she gets too loud, or starts screaming, it would be bad. A little noise would be OK. I decide to cover mom's mouth initially, to see where it goes.
There is a little night light in the hallway to her room. I walk to her room, and the door is half open. With the light from the hall and a little light from outside, I can see Mom lying on her side, facing away from me. Perfect. She seems to be asleep. OK, big boy, now or never. Last chance to back out.
Mom's wearing a t-shirt and probably panties. Her normal sleepwear. The covers are half off her; it's a warm night. I cross the distance to her and just look down. My lovely, needful mother. It's time.
In one motion I lay on the bed behind her, spooning her, my right arm going under her body, trapping her two arms, the other hand covering her mouth. I'm trying hard to restrain her, not hurt her. A muffled scream comes from Mom's mouth, and she starts to struggle. I just hold her. For 20 seconds, Mom is thrashing, then settles down. I could see her mind start to make connections. What's going on, and who is beside her?
Mom stopped screaming, so I took my hand off her mouth.
"What are you doing? Who are you? Please don't hurt me!"
I don't say anything, just hold her. At least she's not screaming. She keeps asking, pleading, but I keep silent, my right arm still holding her arms. I reach down mom's backside to her panties and yank down as far as I could; they are kind of trapped by lying on her side. Then I reach around in front and pull down further. Back and forth. Holding Mom's arms, I couldn't reach down all the way. Once her panties reached her knees, I twisted a foot up between her legs and pulled them down and off. They were caught up in my foot. I flip them off, over the side of the bed onto the floor.
My left hand reaches up to her breast. God, they feel good. After a few seconds, I reach back down under her t-shirt and back up to her breast, feeling them for real, wondering what they look like. I find a nipple, tweak it, and play with it. It's hard instantly; Mom's pleadings are turning towards moans. All my pent-up emotion and energy has me going full-on.
Next, my hand starts heading down. Down Over her little belly until I feel her pussy hair. I stop there for a while. Running my hands over the little tuft. Playing with it, even yanking it, again wondering what it looks like. The shape, the color, the smell. The whole time, Mom is squirming, twisting under my right arm, holding her. Then onto her pussy. My god, she is wet. Warm and inviting. I move one of my knees between her legs to open her up a little more. I put one, then two fingers into her opening. In and out for a few seconds. I'm losing track of what Mom is doing and how she is reacting.
Enough foreplay. Using my hand in front to direct me, I enter mom from behind. Forcefully. Then I roll Mom onto her stomach. My full weight is lying on her back, pinning her to the bed. My face is up against hers. Breathing into her ear. My face scratching hers.
I then lift off mom, my arms on either side holding her arms, or start pounding. The energy level is incredible. In and out, in and out. Not caring what mom wants or needs. Just letting myself go into the moment.
Mom's pleas for me to stop have slowed down and then stopped. She never says my name, acknowledging that it's her son doing this to her.
After a while, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, who knows, I feel Mom shudder and moan. Her sound is soft and quiet, like she is trying to hide her pleasure, not letting her attacker know she is loving this treatment. A few seconds later I let loose. I knew I was not going to last long this first time.
I never deflated all the way, stayed semi-hard, and kept inside Mom. I rolled us back on our side to be more comfortable, back to a spooning position.
Then it hits me, hard. Doubt. Shame. Revulsion over my act. The earlier emotions fade away. This is not me. I always considered what limited sexual experience I had to be a shared thing, giving to each other. This was something else. What have I done? Can I get out? Run away? If I get up now, Mom will know it's me.
After a couple more minutes just lying with Mom, I can feel her weight shifting against me, rocking. Subtle, then more forceful. Mom is trying to get off on my semi-hard still inside her. Mom wants this. Mutual. Together.
Instantly my dick reacts, coming back to attention. I start moving with Mom, in rhythm. Slowly. My left hand reaches back down her front to her pussy. I can feel my dick with my hand, going in and out of Mom. I can't see anything, so I must imagine. I start playing with her clit, even reaching in a little way inside her with one finger, past my dick. All of this seems to awaken Mom. She speeds up, and I go with her.
After some time, I can feel Mom moaning again, another shudder. I'm doing better this time, lasting longer. 5 minutes more, 10 minutes more, who can say? Time doesn't mean anything. Just being with mom sharing this. Mom might have, probably did have another orgasm; not sure. Eventually I do reach my limit, and I cum into Mom's pussy for the second time that night. Kind of a crude way of describing an act of love.
My earlier shame and revulsion pushed back in my mind, replaced with a happy afterglow. I did it to her, but this time we did it together.
We just lay there, me spooning mom. Each to our thoughts. Mom had stopped talking, and I never said anything from the start. I was still in, still semi-hard. Every once in a while, I could feel Mom shifting again, feeling me inside her. In my mind, she was smiling.
Now I was getting myself ready for the third act of my play. If not for the loving second act, I would not have tried this. It's going further. Will it be too much? Can I go through with it?
I move mom and I across the bed to the edge so I can reach the nightstand. I could just reach over and open the drawer with my left hand, still holding mom tight with my right. I knew from the last time I stayed in mom's bed that she keeps her toys here. While she was in the shower, I had checked out the contents and figured out how to turn on her dildo. I pulled it out and set it beside us on the bed, then moved us back to the middle.
Still spooning, my excitement level was coming back, and I started getting hard again. I felt Mom start to shift her weight back and forth again, anticipating. Not my plan this time.
My left hand reached around in front as I pulled out from behind. I fingered Mom. Then two fingers. God, she was wet and slippery. Lots of bodily fluids everywhere. My dick was covered; my fingers were covered.
Then I pulled away from Mom to give me room from behind. I brought my hand around behind Mom's ass. I moved my hand around, caressing, even putting one finger inside. Then two. Trying to get Mom lubricated. Mom stopped moving, got stiff. I positioned my dick over Mom's back hole and pushed. Slowly, easily, with a steady force. Harder. Harder. I could feel Mom pushing back into me; I kept going. Then I felt the head pop through, into Mom. Slowly, push further, then out, in one inch. Back almost out. Two inches. Three inches. Far enough. Back, out, then in. Mom started shaking. Moaning. Again, she never told Ian to stop. I then found the dildo with my left hand and turned it on. I rubbed it against her pussy from the front. Up and down. Getting it wet. Mom is still shaking. Mom is feeling the vibration. Up and down. The only sound is coming from the toy. After 5 or 6 passes, it was time to get it in. Mom knew what was coming; she opened her legs wider, giving me better access. I slowly pushed the head in, out, and back in deeper. Back out, then deeper. I didn't stop at two or three inches; eventually, I went in as far as it would go, but gently. I most certainly didn't want to hurt Mom.
OK, now I'm using the dildo to screw Mom from the front, and I resume screwing Mom from behind. I had thought about this moment ahead of time. I knew it would be exciting for Mom. What I didn't anticipate was the feeling of a vibrator inside Mom, alongside my dick. The sensation was incredible. My dick could feel the dildo moving in and out, the vibration intensifying the feeling for me. I lost track of what Mom was going through and just lived the moment. Through all the third act, Mom never stopped shaking. Soft moaning.
After a short time, five minutes? I couldn't last any longer and had the best orgasm of my young life. Incredible. I stayed inside, Mom, at half-staff again. I left the vibrator on for Mom. For another 10 minutes. I could still feel the vibration; it still felt good, but I was spent for the night. Mom's arms still pinned, she could not reach it to remove it, even if she wanted to. At that point I was in control. I honestly didn't know what she was feeling, and I couldn't ask.
Eventually I did take out the dildo and toss it on the floor. We were both spent. Laying with each other. A shared experience. Mom's shaking settled down and eventually stopped. I was no longer restraining Mom; I just had an arm over her side, stroking her breast in an idle way. The play was done.
Now here is the part I never quite figured out. The fantasy is over. Acting is done. How can I leave? Does Mom want to know it was me? Will she let me go without looking, to prolong the play, never knowing, for sure, who was behind her? Is this the part where Mom sees it's me, gets irate, and never wants to see me again?
Amazingly, after about 30 minutes I could hear mom start to make her steady 'I'm asleep' sounds. I got out of bed as easy as I could. I stepped on the soiled panties laying on the floor, a souvenir from the day. I picked them up, closed the door and headed to the kitchen. I put my clothes on. Next, I pulled a saucer from the cabinet to use as an ashtray and had one more cigarette and beer sitting at the kitchen table. It felt good, and I wanted to give mom something more to think of. When she smelt the smoke in the house for the next couple of days she would think of me, think about what happened here in this house. Prolong the experience. Well, that was the idea anyway.
I was emotionally and physically wiped out. By this time, it was after 2:00, and I had a long ride home. Did I fulfill her fantasy? How was I feeling about what happened? Was she calling the cops? Well, hopefully yes, conflicted, and I sure hope not. Mom never broke and said my name, so she kept to the game. A game she probably didn't think she would ever get to play. Would smelling my mom's panties, putting them to my face, help keep me awake for the drive? So now, how to handle this next time we are together. Haven't thought that far ahead.
Waking up on weekends is great. No pressure to get ready for work, just chill. Why is it so wet down there? Oh my god, did I wet the bed? We wet the bed. Wait, we? Ian? Was that a dream? Where are my panties?
Based on how large the wet spot is at my butt; it was no dream. Then it all came back in a giant hammer blow. Somebody, (Ian?), came to my bed last night and raped me. Is rape even the right word? I'm sore down there, but it feels good? Nobody hit me or hurt me. He was rough, but in a gentle way? Is it rape if you wanted it and loved it? Is it rape if it's your son fulfilling a dream? My dream? And I know I could have stopped it. After 30 seconds, a minute, logically I knew exactly what was happening. How many overweight women in their 40s get raped in their own bed by strangers? Emotionally, it was like being on a roller coaster, going down the first big hill. You know it's really a safe ride, but the thrill speaks otherwise. That bugger got me and pulled all my buttons. And that part at the end, with my ass and my toy. Doing both holes at once never occurred to me; it was never a part of the fantasy. Now it could be a future need. I've never had, or even thought it was possible to have, a 10-minute orgasm. Then he just left it in me, that tingling going on and on. Way past normal. Well, the first time anal for me, Ian took my anal virginity. We never talked about that part either. Could it have been a part of his fantasy? He left me a bowl full of jelly. I must have passed out in the afterglow; I don't remember him leaving. On top of that, it was my son. Oh god. I was so worried if it was a real rape or not; I forgot about the alternate, real incest. Either a stranger raped me last night, or my son performed incest rape on me. Neither with consent. Well, sort of, at least the first part.
OK, take stock. Am I upset? Well, yes and no. Do I have an afterglow? Absolutely. Is there any proof it even was Ian? Well, probably DNA, but I don't need to go that route, so no actual proof. Do I want to know, for real? I can't pull down any one emotion; it's all wrapped up into a tornado of thoughts. Do Ian and I need to have 'a talk'? Play it by ear for now? Honestly, looking back, it was the most exciting, emotional, scary, and incredible night of my life. Does Ian feel the same? Will this scar him, or me, for life? Will Ian want to do this again someday? Would I want him to, or let him? One part of me is grateful Ian never gave me the option last night to chicken out; another part is furious at him. The lonely, horny woman half and the scared, protective mother half. Just how sure am I it even was Ian? Of course it was Ian, probably.
I walked out to the kitchen after taking off my soiled T-shirt and putting on a robe. I could smell the cigarette smoke right away. And there on the table lay the cigarette remains, a mostly full pack of smokes, and half a six-pack of beer. Ian knows I hated smelling cigarettes on him when he was in that damn fraternity, and he never did smoke in front of me. I'm glad it never became a habit for him. Looks like he was leaving a calling card. It even let me pretend a little more that it was someone else. Coarser, and not my son. Bad boy Ian, bad boy. I do remember smelling the beer and cigarettes on 'the attacker' last night, with the bristles on the side of my face, and it was a nice touch, added to the experience in a way I would not have expected. I put the beers in the fridge and went to throw away the remains of the pack. But then I stopped, took one out, and lit up. Like Ian, I went through a cigarette phase in college but never got hooked, and I never wanted Ian to start. Smoking this one seemed a little like being naughty, a little forbidden, adding to last night's activities. And kind of made another connection with Ian in a weird way, both smoking from the same pack. In the old movies, the couple would light up after sex, but they would do it in bed. Weird, nothing about this situation seems normal anyway. Sitting down, I realized how sore my butt was. But, in a good way?
Later in the day, still thinking (obsessing) about last night, I realized whatever the causes, motivations, and consequences, I wanted to remember. Every detail. So, I pulled out my laptop and tried to put it down, best as I could. Not like in story form, just actions and emotions, reactions. Writing it down felt a little like it was happening again. I could feel myself getting excited. I'll probably have to change my panties by the time I'm done.
So, mom never called me after Saturday night's activities. I'm glad I had Sunday to sleep in, calm down and gather my thoughts before going back to work Monday. Nothing left but to deal with the aftermath, whatever it ends up being.
Wednesday at work we had a big general meeting in the cafeteria, the largest open spot we have. The CEO was talking about a new sales promotion for our store owners. If they increase their sales over last year, they earn points to take their families to Hawaii for a week. That part didn't mean much to me, as a programmer on the financial side. However, the company is going to triple charge our suppliers to go along. That way the suppliers could interact directly with the store owners, getting lots of good feedback on trends and needs. Anyhow, with the extra money the company is going to send 6 regular (not part of the sales dept) employees to go along as semi ambassadors for corporate, and to help at some of the events. Really, just show up at the events and have a good time.
There was a general lottery, and as luck would have it, I won one of the spots. OK, a free trip to Hawaii. Jump for joy, yeah. The employee trips were for 2 people. See the issue? Right away I was not excited at work, at least not as excited as I should be, and people didn't understand why. Well, who is my and-one? The trips were for after the promotion, in 6 months. So, I had 6 months to find someone of the (hopefully) female persuasion willing to spend a week with me in a hotel room in Hawaii. Crap, I can already hear the lecture from Mom. On the good side, it's taking my mind off any lingering guilt from Saturday past.
The next night, I I called home. The usual.
"Hey, Mom, what's going on this weekend?" It had been a few weeks since I made it home for a visit.
"I'll be here. Usual time?"
"Yep, 7:30. And still no laundry."
"OK, dinner will be ready, love you."
"OK, Mom, tomorrow. Still love you. bye"
Very short conversation, and no mention of my dating issues? Or Saturday?
Got to Mom's at 7:30, on time, and dinner was waiting as usual. I put the beer and wine away and started back to my bedroom.
"Honey, after what happened last time, you were here, do you want to just put your stuff in my room?"
OK, I guess we are going to have 'that conversation' earlier than hoped for.
"Yea, I really enjoyed sleeping next to you. Way better than the couch. Of course, if you feel weirded out sleeping with your mother, I understand."
OK, THAT last time, much better, all around. If she wants to pretend Saturday never happened, I will too. For as long as it takes.
"Sure mom, and it saves you having to do more bed sheets when I leave. You know how I feel about you doing my laundry."
So, this is the new normal. Me and mom sleeping together. But will she want to SLEEP together? I guess we'll see tonight.
Over dinner.
"So, mom, how was your week?"
"My week was well my week was, a week I suppose."
An odd response, to be sure, but I was not going to touch it.
"I had a good week. And something happened at work Wednesday. Kinda good, kind of bad."
"What's that, honey? Did you get a promotion or something?"
"No, no promotion, but I did win a work trip to Hawaii."
"Wow honey, that's great. Details. And what's the kind off bad"?
"Well, I get to bring an 'and-one.' Must bring, I should say. What are my chances of finding someone to take? One hotel room. Gotta finds a woman comfortable enough with me to spend a week in the same room, same bed probably. With my recent history, the odds are not great."
"Ian, stop that talk. Maybe this is just the encouragement you need to get out there and find 'the one'. How much time do you have?"
" About 6 months, it's the second full week in March next year."
While watching yet another rom com on the couch later, Rachel kept thinking about stuff. Funny how thoughts swirl around.
Second full week in March is during spring break. I would not even have to take off work. But that's crazy talk anyway. Ian is going to find someone to take besides this old fossil. I need to get Ketty involved in this. Her and Ian used to be close, she might have some dating advice, or willing friends. Something to help. How would I look in a bathing suit on the beach? Would Ian be ashamed of me? Should I start shaping up, just in case?
On another topic, why am I so insistent on having Ian in my bed? Sleeping with Ian does feel great, intimate is probably the best word. At this point in my life, it's about the only thing I truly look forward to, and Ian seems good with it. But he must understand it's just sleeping. After last Saturday will Ian be content with just sleeping? Will I be? Can we keep playing this game where I pretend, I don't know it was him? If push comes to shove, if he grabs my boobs or crotch, I know I'll crumble, and he will have me. Incest out of the blue, forced, is one thing, incest planned and approved of is something else. Well, kind of something else. Anyway, that's the way I'm looking at it. However, if it came to Hawaii, well, we'll have to see how it goes. Vacations can do tricky things to libidos. Am I playing with fire? Course I am, and don't kid yourself. But sometimes fire can feel warm and cozy.
"OK Ian, I've about had it. Ready for bed?"
"Sure mom, I'll clean up a bit and be in a few minutes."
"God, you really are a 'nice guy'. We'll get that stuff in the morning, just brush your teeth and get in here. I'm getting sleepy."
"Yes mam."
By the time I got back to her bedroom mom was already in bed. I turned off the light and joined her. Now is the time to find out what the new normal was. I didn't want to do something as overt as feeling her up, so I did the tight cuddle from behind move again. And, right on cue, my supporting cast was upright and accounted for.
"Ian, put that thing away or it's back to your room. You know the rules."
OK, so same old same old. Still, I'm sleeping next to a woman I love. Not all bad. And I'm NOT going to force anything, as much as I would like to.
*****
Next week.
"Hi, Mom."
"Ketty, good to hear from you. What's up?"
"Nothing in particular. Leo's playing golf tomorrow, and I thought I'd drop by with the kids for a spell."
"Great, honey. I wanted to talk to you anyway. I'm a little worried about Ian and was wondering if we could come up with something for him. And any chance to be with the little ones is a great excuse for a visit."
"Ok. I can get there by 1:00. I don't know how much I can help Ian, but we'll see."
"Great, and I'll plan on dinner before you leave. Any requests"?
"Something simple. Should I bring anything? Kind of inviting myself for dinner."
"Just get here; we'll figure something out."
"OK, we'll talk tomorrow. Love you, Mom."
"Love you too. Give Leo my love too. Later."
Ketty arrived on time the next day, and the two adults spent an hour playing with the kids. An 11-month-old baby girl and a 2-year-old boy. You can't really play with a baby, but the boy was doing his best to get into mischief. The whole grandkid reality was new to Rachel, and her house was not exactly childproof yet, so they had to keep a pretty close watch on his antics. Eventually both kids crashed at about the same time, and Ketty put them to nap in the spare bedroom.
"Should be down for a couple of hours, hopefully. I think the drive helped wear them out. So what did you want to talk about?"
"Well, first you, since you're here. How's life going?"
"Hectic. Being a new mom, dealing with daycare, going back to work. It's all a lot. Two kids can really change your life. But I'm loving it. Everything I'd hoped for."
"Well, I wish I lived closer, could help out more. Of course I must work too, so I can't really help with daycare duties. I do miss being with the kids. They grow up so fast."
"OK, so we both know I'm good. What's this about Ian? Is he in trouble or something?"
"Ketty, you and Ian were close for a long time. After your father passed you seemed to bond even more. What is your impression of him?"
"A super nice guy. Big, goofy sense of humor. Stable. Good looking. All the right things."
"OK, he's perfect. Then why can't he find someone? You've seen him in bars, on the prow with you. What's the deal?"
"Well, it's kind of weird. I've seen women looking at him, giving him signals, and he has no clue. I would see it and try make him go up and talk to the girl and he just couldn't do it. Even when he did try, he came off as awkward and shy. Women want someone with confidence. You must get to know him, I guess, then the real Ian comes thru. He dated a couple of my friends over the years, and they liked him fine, but the connection was never there. He was the one to break it off, usually. And then there's the whole stuttering thing, I think it kind of puts off some woman, at least initially."
"Stuttering? I thought Ian was over that? A little stammering occasionally when he gets nervous or upset. Is it that bad?"
"It can be, when he's trying to talk to a woman for the first time. He gets flustered and starts to stutter for real. There's not much I can do about that; I'm not a speech therapist or anything."
"Ian told me he tried the dating apps, and they didn't work for him."
"No. From what I hear, 80% of the women are after 10% of the guys. Really a weird situation for both sides. Most of the guys never get dates, and the other 10% get women all over them and become conceited jerks. I tried to give him advice and confidence over the years, but it never really helped."
"Do you have any friends now that might be interested?"
"Not really. Most of my friends, that I could see with Ian, are married or dating someone already. And with two kids, lately I'm not hanging around my friends that much anyway."
"Well, Ian got some news at work last week. Apparently, his company is having a sales promotion thing and are sending store owners on trips to Hawaii. And they are sending some employees along, and Ian got selected. So, in 6 months he is going to fabulous Hawaii, on a trip for two, with someone unknown. He's embarrassed to go alone. So now what should have been a great adventure becomes a problem."
"Well, of course I won't go, for multiple reasons. It might have been fun back in the day, but now I have the whole kids and husband thing. Would be weird to take a sister anyway. He could take his roommate, but that's almost as bad. A public admission that over 6 months he could not find one woman willing to go to Hawaii, with him."
"Mom, you said the trips is in 6 months. Do you know the dates?"
"Second week in March."
"Is that near your spring break from school?"
"Yep. I'm on break that week. Kind of makes you think. If Ian, or we, can't find someone by then his only options will be his roommate or his 46-year-old overweight mother."
"Ian seems to be spending a lot of time with you lately. Are you two getting closer? It sounds like you've already considered going to an island paradise with him."
"Well, he comes in every 3 or 4 weeks for the weekend. I think we just keep each other from being so lonely. I always tell him not to come, go find a daughter in law for me, but he comes in anyway."
"Do you think you two are closer than you and I? When we were kids, I would watch you and Ian together on the couch. Dad never held me that way. Then when Dad was gone, it even made it worse somehow. Ian had someone to hold onto through all the stress. I guess I was even a little jealous back then. Lately it's been tougher to spend time with you, with the kids and all."
"Closer than us? No. Different? Sure. I see you as an extension of me. I know what you are and what you want from a woman's point of view. I see Ian as an extension of your father. Not as a husband, but as the man he was. I also see you each as a son and a daughter. Very different relationship, and the same. I love you both very much. I also know your father loved you just as much. We never talked about it, but I think he was a little afraid of himself getting too close, physically, with his daughter. Afraid of being a little wrong somehow, ever the good guy. I'm truly sorry you missed out on the other part Ian, and I have. Of course, you have the kids and Leo to make up for it now."
"And, before you change the topic to me, I'll have you know I've decided to get myself back out there dating-wise. At least start the process. How can I constantly beat on Ian when I'm just as bad? Lately every time I harp on him about dating, he fires back, it's time for me to get out there. How long has it been since your father passed?" I know I've let myself go; it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to join that gym downtown, maybe hire a trainer even."
"Mom, that's great. Good for you. While you're getting your body in shape, don't forget about your hair. What you have now is not working for you, kind of butch really. Way too short and masculine. Would this have anything to do with getting ready for the beaches in Hawaii?"
"Well, sometimes a woman needs a little motivation. Of course, we know I'm the last resort, assuming Ian would want to take me at all. Still need to see what we can do about finding 'the one' for Ian in the meantime."
Ketty went into the kitchen to see about the bottle and food for the kids. She saw mom's laptop open on the table and decided to do some browsing. She noticed a word document minimized link at the bottom and opened it, just general curiosity to see what mom was up to these days.
"Sunday, August 12. Woke up at 12:30 AM, screaming into a hand around my mouth, with a strong arm wrapped under me, holding both arms, pinning me. I could not move. I was terrified."
What the heck was this? The more Ketty read the more it sounded like a rape encounter. An erotic play by play. Sounded like whoever this was about was enjoying it, eventually. Enjoyed it a lot, by the end. How could any women enjoy being raped? Not being in control, being violated, can't imagine anything worse. Was mom into this kind of thing? At the end was just the word 'Ian' with three question marks after. What did that mean? Just then mom walked into the kitchen to see if she could help with anything.
"Mom, what's this?"
"Ketty, what the hell are you doing, looking at my private writings!"
Mom walked over and closed the member, and shutdown the laptop.
"Sorry mom, just got curious. I want to talk about this."
"None of your business. It's... private."
"Mom, we are going to talk about this. Are you really the person I thought I knew?"
"Of course I'm the person you thought I was. I would never lie to you or try to be something I'm not. There might just be a little more to me that you don't need to know about."
"Like having fantasies about being raped? And why was Ian's name at the bottom? You wrote this, right? It didn't come off one of those story sites?"
Rachel sat down at the table and just thought for a couple minutes. Ketty, in fact nobody, was ever supposed to see that word document. It was her way of saving a special memory, like a souvenir from a good vacation, but of course much more personal and emotional. But privately, not something to put on a shelf. And now it was out. Ketty would not know if it was just a story, or something that happened. But Rachel didn't want to lie to her daughter. Rachel was a lousy liar, and her daughter always saw right thru. She could just say she is done talking about it, but Ketty seemed insistent, she wouldn't just let this go. She could come clean with the truth, that wouldn't go well. Or give as much truth as she can, but not the whole truth.
"Ketty, when you were a little girl, did you have fantasies about your future?"
"Of course, every girl does. Just the normal ones. Grow up, go to college, meet the perfect guy. I always liked thinking about my wedding. Who would be there, what the dress would be like, what the church would look like, where the reception would be, how many kids I would have."
"How many of these fantasies came true for you?"
"Well, all of them, I guess. The reality was not always the same as the dream, but filling in the details just made them even better."
"You fantasized about your wedding. Do you need to have another? If the dream was so good, do you need to get married again?"
"Of course not. I got to live the real thing."
"So, by living them, you fulfilled your dreams of old. So, they are no longer fantasies; they are now memories."
"Beautify memories, yes."
"Ian came by for a visit a few weeks ago. We ended up on the couch watching a movie, Summer of 42. After it was over, we started talking about the ending, where the widow takes that young boy."
"Yah, I've seen that movie. The ending kind of bothered me."
"Well, it bothered me too, as a mother. The woman is taking advantage of the boy. Ian told me that he loves that movie, especially that part. He said that what happened to Hermie was a fantasy for most guys that age, and especially for him. That really happened to the author; it was based on a real event. The boy was not scarred and eventually met up with the woman years later. She was afraid she had hurt him; he was just grateful for a touching, emotional memory and hoped she was doing well in her life."
"So, then Ian asked me about my fantasies. I told him it was none of his business. Well, most of a bottle of wine later, and a lot of prodding, I finally opened up to him."
"You had dreams growing up. One of them was having kids someday. What if, after you got married, you had found out you could not have kids? You'd live with it, still be happy with Leo, the house, and all that. But there would always be a hole in your soul, dreaming of what might have been."
"God, I just had this conversation with your brother. OK, your father was a great man and a very nice guy. Provider, partner, lover, friend, parent. Everything I should ask for. In some ways he was almost too nice. You had your fantasies. Remember, we don't always get to choose what excites us. One of mine involves, well, something of a sexual nature. Sometimes I desired a little excitement, a little danger. Or, even, a little more than a little. Your dad was too safe sometimes to satisfy those urges. Just like never holding you on the couch, safe. Nothing wrong with that; he was what he was. And I am what I am. I opened to Ian about some of my desires and how these dreams have passed me by. I was happy still; it was not a big thing in the grand scheme. It's just something that was never going to happen. When your dad passed, all those good things about living with him were gone, so I started feeling those old emotions a little more. Ian finally came out and asked me if I had a secret desire to be, well, for want of a better word, raped. I had to tell him yes. Not a true, out-of-control, smash-mouth beating of a rape, but kind of an idealized, take-me-to-my-desires romance novel kind of thing. That, of course, would be very difficult to set up in real life. A little danger and the unknown could turn me on. The thought of being traumatized and used horrifies me, just like you. Since that night I've kind of been thinking about it. A lot. What it would be like. What it could be like. So, I wrote it down."
"Mom, I'm trying to understand, but being raped is the furthest thing from enticing for me. It's one of my biggest phobias. I guess I'm lucky Leo is my everything. Nothing is missing for me in the bedroom, as they say."
"And that's why I didn't want to have this conversation. Now you think I'm a sex pervert or something. Your mother, the slut."
"Mom, you know I love you regardless. Wait, that didn't come out right. I don't think of you that way. OK, I can see your point, I guess. Sex fantasy. So, what about Ian's name at the bottom? How does he fit into this? And, to take your wedding reference, that didn't read like a fantasy. It read more like an after-the-fact retelling, with all the details filled in. The exact date, the exact time. Specific actions and emotions."
Rachel just sat there for a few moments. Gathering her thoughts. Come clean? Lie? Just change the subject? Same bad options as before. Telling half the truth was not going to do.
"Look. I decided to write out a fantasy of mine. (True) The talk I had with Ian kind of got it going (true), and I was wondering if I should show it to him when I finish (white lie). I was not sure if that was a smart move, hence the question marks (sort of true)".
Unfortunately, we were now into half-truths and half-lies.
"Mom, why would you show that to Ian? To what end? Get him thinking, what? Ian is the nicest, best guy I know. Don't you think it would upset him at least as much as me to think of you being raped?"
"Honey, there was a lot more emotion in me than logic when I wrote that."
"You know, the way it was written like a real event, and the conversation you had with Ian, it almost sounds like he could have been involved somehow. But that's crazy. I think I know him about as well as anyone, and he's the last person in the world that would do that to anyone."
"Ian is my good son."
"OK, but I still think there is something else here I don't get. Gotta thinks about it. And can I have a copy of your write-up?"
"No."
"Just, no? OK, I guess I've pushed into forbidden territory enough for one day. I think the kids are about up anyway."
.
Not that Ketty was going to let it go in her own mind that easily.
Later, after dinner was over and Ketty had left for home, Rachel pulled up the Word document again. At the bottom, she added:
"I was raped by my son Ian. I was given a gift of a dream fulfilled. I experienced the most thrilling and emotional sexual encounter of my life. My dream is now a treasured memory. Ian is a good son. Thank you, Ian."
Rachel then saved the document and stored it away in a safer place, finally at peace with what happened that night.
A couple of days later
"Ian, how's it going? Hey, we haven't seen each other for a while. How about coming for dinner Thursday after work? If you're not busy."
"Like I'd be busy any day of the week. Thanks for the invite, Ketty. I could be there by 6; can I bring anything?"
"We're good. Just get here."
Ian got to Ketty's on time and got right into dinner. Always interesting trying to eat with 2 little ones. After dinner and cleanup, Ketty sent Leo and the kids into the family room so she could have a talk with Ian in the kitchen.
"So, I had an interesting talk with Mom on Sunday. We spent most of the time talking about you. She is hoping I can help you find a woman. We both know how that goes. Are you really going to Hawaii in March?"
"That's the plan. Could be solo if I can't find someone to take. Kind of puts added pressure on the whole dating situation. I thought about taking my roommate as a last resort, but that's a lousy option. Are you free that week?"
Ketty laughing "Right, could you see Leo by himself with the kids for a week? I love him to death, but that would be a disaster. Mom tells me she is going to get back in shape, back in the game. Join a gym, get a trainer, and get new hair. The whole thing."
"Really. Interesting. Good for her."
"And maybe good for you? If you can't find someone, would Mom be an option for Hawaii?"
Tread lightly here, Ian. Mom is an option from my point of view. And if she is trying to get in shape, it could be an option from Mom's point of view. Still, I know Mom and Ketty are going to keep pushing for me to find someone.
"Ketty, I have a few months to figure things out. Ask me again in January or February."
"Something else she brought up. You and Mom were talking about your sexual fantasies?"
"Why would Mom bring that up to you? Kind of a private thing."
"Private, between you and Mom. You two seem to be getting closer somehow lately. I kind of feel left out at times. When you're at Mom's, watching a movie, do you still sit together like in the old days?"
"Ketty, if you want to ask something, just ask. I'm not sure where you are going with this."
"Trying to picture you and Mom in Hawaii, together, in one hotel room."
"No, Mom and I are not having sex. She is my mother and my friend. I'm going to do everything I can to find someone else to take to Hawaii. If at the end I don't find someone, as is likely, and Mom is willing and able, I would consider taking her. Not because I want to screw her, I just don't have a lot of other options. And mom is a valid option in my book, pathetic as that may sound to you. How many times have you taken Mom on a vacation? Doesn't she deserve to go with me?"
"Right. I guess I forgot to see this from Mom's side. Her going to Hawaii, even with a son, would be a gift. Brings back memories of us going to Florida for vacation back in the day. OK, consider me scolded. Now, about you. We both know I can't change who you are; God knows I've tried, but at least we can change what you look like. We're going shopping for some new clothes soon."
Over the next few months, life happened. Ian had a couple of dates that didn't go anywhere. He was inspired by his mom and started hitting the weights again in his gym. He kept to his schedule of visiting Rachel every 3 or 4 weeks, with the same routine. Ian looked forward to those weekends, especially the sleeping together part. Just sleeping; nothing ever happened further. Ian didn't even try to push the boundaries anymore; it didn't seem right. It's like there was a silent agreement with Mom; the intimate feeling was too good to ruin by going further. That feeling was complicated by the changes he saw in Rachel. Ian always thought his mom was beautiful, in general, but now she was recreating the body she had in her 20s. Losing weight and getting toned. And her hair was getting shaggy, growing out.
Rachel was going to the gym 4 times a week, and she did hire a trainer at the gym. She had a goal of losing 20 pounds by March and letting her hair grow longer. It looked kind of unkempt for now, but she had plans to get it styled by March. It just had to get long enough for a stylist to work with; she really didn't care how it looked in the meantime. If she did have to (get to) go with Ian, she didn't want to be an embarrassment. It's one thing to show up in Hawaii with a cougar on your arm, and another to show up with a 40-something dumpy housewife. Those weekends with Ian. She scolded him every time she got the phone call but, of course, was happy to have him with her.
2 weeks before Christmas, Ian called Ketty and set up a date to do some Christmas shopping. Ian always did rely on Ketty's help buying any kind of clothes. Ketty just liked to spend time with Ian, and it was fun to go shopping with somebody else's money.
At the mall.
"OK Ian, you got me here; what are we after today?"
"Well, it's December, and the whole dating thing is still not working for me. It's time to face reality; I'm going to ask Mom to go to Hawaii and make it official. Mom needs time to get ready; I'm done being stressed out over it. You are going to help me buy some clothes for Mom, for Hawaii, for Christmas. I know she's been losing weight, and she has set a loss goal by March. Do you know what size she is, or what size she will be in March?"
"Mom and I are almost the same size or were before she gained the weight. If something fits me now, it will fit her at her goal. Pretty convenient. I get to try on a bunch of pretty clothes, and you get to buy them. This could be a great opportunity for a combined gift. Neither of us is exactly rolling in extra cash, and I've had a hard time coming up with something for her on my own anyway."
We spent the next 3 hours shopping, Ketty trying on various summer beachy clothes. She also picked out two swimsuits. One a one-piece and the other a little racier bikini. I got to at least pick out the colors. The one piece is bright yellow, and the bikini is deep blue. A pair of leather sandals and another pair of more formal beach footwear. I'm glad Ketty was there; it was fun. Ketty and I had been a little strained since our last conversation involving fantasies. It felt like we were bonding again. And I got to split the cost in half. I thought we ended up with more than one woman could wear in a week, but Ketty kept finding one more 'perfect' item, and she thought Mom would be wearing more than one outfit per day. I would be happy in shorts and a t-shirt every day, but I had to attend some of the corporate events there, so I needed some real clothes. A luau, an evening meet-and-greet, one more formal dinner, breakfast, and lunches at the hotel. Ketty helped with that also but, of course, didn't pay half for my stuff.
After we finished shopping, we stopped in the mall food court for some lunch. After getting our food, we found an empty table and sat down.
"Ian, thanks again for inviting me today. It was fun. Brings back some good memories."
"Agree, sis. It's tough to find time for us, what with the whole husband and two kids thing you have going."
"Ian, we need to talk. OK, just so you know, I think we are in a good place right now, before you hear what I want to say. I've been thinking about something with Mom for months now, rolling it around in my head, and I realized my original impression is dead wrong. I've been thinking about dreams, fantasies, and how they relate to real life. I'm finally ready to open to you about it, and this is as good a time as any. I think you raped Mom."
And there it was, lying right out there in the open. I felt a cold shudder down my spine. How to handle this. How could she know? How could any son admit to doing this to his mother?
"I was at Mom's a few months ago and happened upon a Word document on her laptop, by accident, of course. I will never forget the first line of the document. It is seared into my brain."
"Sunday, August 12. Woke up at 12:30 AM, screaming into a hand around my mouth, with a strong arm wrapped under me, holding both arms, pinning me. I could not move. I was terrified."
"Does that sound familiar? Something happened to Mom, and she wrote the whole thing down. She caught me reading it and became upset, shutting down the laptop. Mom tried to pass it off as a fantasy she had, but I think it really happened. There was just too much detail. She had to explain how you were watching that movie, and the subject came up, how she ended up telling you, her desires."
"So that's why you asked me about Mom's fantasies a while back?"
"Yep. At the time I was really upset to think that someone would do that to her. Getting raped is about the worst thing I can imagine happening to someone. The thing that didn't jive was the rest of the Word document. It started off as a horror show, but she ended up getting into it. She wrote how exciting it was, how it was her dream. At the bottom was your name with three question marks. Mom said she was just questioning if she should show you the write-up or not, since you inspired it. I've seen how Mom has changed since that day. Far from being scared, like I would be, she was invigorated. She's getting back in the game. And you and she seem closer than ever. If you had raped me, not that you ever would, I would do everything in my power to avoid you or put you away."
"The thing that really didn't make sense is I know you. You are the last person I know who would do something like this. A nice guy, a good son. Then it hit me. You didn't do this for you; you did it for Mom. This was about the only way possible for Mom to ever live this dream. How could you do that? Not like you're evil doing it, like in somebody with your personality doing this? It must have been crazy hard. I've seen you around women enough to know."
How to respond. Ketty didn't seem upset. She wasn't calling the cops on me or anything. And she didn't have any real proof, just a lot of details she was putting together. But all in all, she was pretty accurate. God, I hate lying. If I came clean, would Mom be upset?
"One thing stood out to me. Fantasy or real, I wanted to know who did this to my mother, who was the evil man. She had so much detail in the writing; the name had to be there. I kept reading, hoping to see. But no name. It's not like she was protecting somebody; nobody else was supposed to read this. Could be in her fantasy there was no name, just some generic man. But if it were real, she would know who it was. Or would she? She never gave any description, outside of the feel of his face and smell. I don't think she ever saw the guy, if it was real. She wrote he was to her back the entire time. So, your name with three question marks. I don't think she was ever thinking about showing you. I think she was wondering if you were the man."
"Why do you need to know this?"
A question back, not an admission or denial.
"Because she is my mother too, and you are my brother, and I care about both of you. If something did happen between you, does it change your relationship with Mom? Our relationship? Are you going to be my new daddy? I must tell you, a part of me is disgusted with what might have happened between you and Mom; another part is jealous. I'm struggling with this; I have been for months. But now I think I'll be OK either way."
"OK Ketty, as honest as I can be. Something may or may not have happened between Mom and me. If it did happen, it was planned on one side, without the knowledge of the other. Crap, this isn't working. OK, after Mom and I had our talk about fantasies, we fell asleep on the couch overnight. The next night Mom decided we should sleep together in her bed instead of on the couch. Much more comfortable and no more illicit than the couch, still just sleeping. So that next night we slept together in her bed. Nothing happened beyond holding each other; I would call it being intimate. Not sexual. No fondling of body parts. No kissing. That's pretty much how we spend nights together ever since. I think we both look forward to the human contact. Anyhow, lying next to Mom in bed that first night, I got inspired about how to help her with her fantasy. The rest you pretty much know. And Mom and I never talked about it afterward. Mom had to know it was me; it happened just 2 weeks after our talk. It's just kind of the game between us. Always on the sideline. If we ever talked about it, finally admitted it was me, it would somehow ruin the spell, if that makes sense. That's why I need you to drop this, and please, please don't talk to Mom about it."
"OK. Are you ready to go?"
"That's it? OK?"
"Yep. I get it now; I just confirmed what I already knew. And I think what you did for Mom was... good. I'll leave it at that. Just one more question. Are you planning on having any more 'fun' with Mom? I would really feel left out then."
"As far as I know, it's a onetime deal."
"OK, now I feel like I'm back in the loop. Thanks. Hearing about your sleeping arrangement, I should feel left out, but I figure you do it some weekends; I get Leo in my bed every night. And another thing, I don't have any unfulfilled sexual fantasies I need your help with. Just saying."
"Hey, Mom. Coming in Tuesday night for Christmas. I can be in through the weekend. Will you be around?"
"No, I think this year it's Paris for Christmas for me. You'll have to get all my presents shipped there."
"Do you have some new guy taking you? Are you going to show off your new bod overseas?"
"I can dream, I guess."
"Would be nice, someday. When is Ketty getting to your house?"
"She has something with Leo's family Christmas Eve but will be here for Christmas Day."
"OK, can I bring anything?"
"Just your laundry."
"OK, laundry it is, and some beer and wine, as usual."
"Wait, you have laundry this time?"
"You'll see. See you then, love ya. Bye."
"Back at ya."
I waited till Christmas Day to give Mom my 'laundry' so Ketty could be there.
"Mom, here's my laundry."
In a large pillowcase were all the clothes we had bought for Mom for Hawaii. Mom looked inside and pulled out the top to the bikini.
"Ian, if this is really your laundry, I think we need to have a little talk."
"Mom, you know what they're for. I've given up my chase for the ultimate woman, for now. I'm asking you, officially, if you want to go with me to Hawaii for a week in March. I feel like I should be down on one knee when I do this. And in case you are wondering if Ketty thinks this is a bad idea, the clothes are from both of us. We went shopping together. And I know you set a weight goal for yourself. Ketty sized them for your goal weight, a little extra incentive. I have an itinerary of the events. Ketty tried to get clothes for everything."
"Thank you. Both of you. This really gives me something to look forward to. I just wish you could have found someone to take besides your old mother."
I noticed she left out the 'overweight' part. Way to go, Mom, feeling it.
Meeting at the airport.
"Mom, I'm liking, no, loving your new hair. That's called a bob, right? Very feminine. With your new body, you are looking 10 years younger. And nails? Did you get your toes done too?"
"Of course, toenails too. Gotta looks good for my favorite son with those new open-toe sandals you guys got me. Listen, Ian, do I really look that much younger?"
"Honestly, Mom, you could pass for 40, or even mid-30s. I'm so proud of you. I hope you did this for you also, not just to look good for me. Most women your age doesn't have your ass. My god, you got tightened up!"
"Talking about your mother's ass? Well, I was thinking about, you know, when we get there. I know you can't be all that excited to take your mother on a trip like this, but I'm glad I get to go. And I don't want to keep explaining why your mother is in a hotel room with you for a week. Anyway, you can either be on vacation with your mother or, in your words, with a younger-looking older woman. If it's OK by you, I want to be just Rachel and Ian for the trip, not mom and son. We don't have to lie, but hopefully we won't have to explain ourselves either. Would that make me a cougar?"
"That makes you, my cougar. I was kind of thinking the same thing, but I didn't want you to think I was not proud of you, being my mom and all that. Ok, when we get off the plane, it's Rachel and Ian for the duration. And I wouldn't tell Ketty about that. She is already feeling a little weird about us getting so close, feeling left out."
"Yep, we had that conversation too. Our secret."
Mom and I got into Hawaii, Maui. That is a LONG flight, the longest I'd been on. It was good having Mom next to me the whole way. What was nice is I'm a big guy, 6' 3", remember, and I had an accommodating smaller person sitting next to me. I don't really fit in the economy plane seats so well. I could take up some of her space, and she didn't mind. We even put up the armrest between our seats. Mom did make her magic weight, 130 pounds. Not model thin but looking good for 46. I'm proud of her and told her several times. I was feeling pretty good myself; all that weight training gave me some definition. We were in one of the big hotels on Kaanapali Beach.
We got to our room Sunday evening. This was a quick vacation. Fly in Sunday, fly back next Saturday. Can't really complain when it's free. It was a decent room, facing the water, with a little balcony. 8th floor. This whole trip was on the company dime, so we probably got the lowest price room. One queen-size bed.
"Rachel, are you sure this room works for us?"
"Why are you suddenly ashamed to sleep with your mother? Sorry, I mean cougar? You know, it sounds a little naughty when I say it like that."
"No, I like you OK to sleep with. I was wondering what happens when one of us gets lucky. Will it be a threesome on the one bed? Is it big enough? King size would have been better."
"In your dreams. Or is that in your dreams?"
"No, I guess I'm more of a one-woman guy, if I could only find a woman. Getting into a threesome would involve 2 women. Yeah right, I would have to find 2 women."
"According to the schedule, we have the meet and greet in 45 minutes. Can you be ready?"
"I'll do my best. Do you want to jump in the shower ahead of me? I know you're quick."
"Rachel, how would you know?"
Mom just sighed and shook her head; Ian got a chuckle.
They got to the ballroom a few minutes ahead of time. The 6 employee couples selected to go had a little meeting to discuss ground rules and responsibilities. We didn't have to do much. Being here for us was more of a prize than work responsibility. One thing they stressed was that we were representing the company and to remember that when around any of the store owners. Getting drunk and rowdy or doing something sexual with an owner's daughter would not go down well, for instance.
Mom really looked great. She had kind of a little black dress style, but in beach colors. Her legs, arms, and ass were perfect. And based on my shopping trip with Ketty, I now know she's a 36B. Just right, as far as I'm concerned. Every guy has a preferred breast size. For me, A and D are great; B and C are perfect. I never did appreciate anything larger, even though some women assume all guys think bigger is better. Even after everything Mom and I have been through the last year, this is the best look I've had at her body. I'll hopefully get to see more of her this week, being in the same room. And then there's that blue bikini; I can't wait to see Mom in that.
I recognized most of the other employees, but not their and ones. There was Sally Smith. God, have I lusted over her. She is every bit of 6', with long blond hair. Polished looking. Prim and proper beautiful. Reasonable C bra size, if I had to guess, and I have guessed. I didn't know her; more knew of her. And, of course, she is with a rich old guy. Figures. Probably rich, but who knows. He looks rich to me, anyway. Bastard. I knew I didn't want to try anything with any of the store owners' families, so it kind of limited any meet-up potential in our group. I guess Mom will be my date for the week.
The meet and greet lasted a couple of hours. Finger food and drinks. Mom and I stayed mostly to ourselves. I knew a couple of the employees there, but they were mostly actually working. Afterwards, Mom and I were just worn out. Went back to the room and crashed. Mom went into the bathroom to change into her usual t-shirt and panties; I just had to strip to boxers.
"Rachel, you looked tremendous tonight. I'm so happy to be here with you."
"Not looking too shabby yourself. Ketty help you with your clothes tonight?"
"Of course she did. You gave me a lot of things genetically, but having fashion sense got left out."
Fell asleep with Mom in my arms that night, again. Somehow it just felt right.
The next day, Monday, was an open day. Give everyone a chance to get out and do the Hawaii thing before scheduled events.
Breakfast and any event meals were included in the trip. Lunches and off-day dinners, we were on our own. Breakfast, for the group, was served on the beach each morning. Mom and I ate late as allowed and made it kind of a brunch deal. We had both been working on our bodies, and skipping a meal felt normal. Not that I needed to be that cheap; I just didn't need to spend the extra time. The usual morning drinks, pastries, meats, and eggs. Buffet style. There was even an omelet bar, made to order. In the afternoon, Mom went for a long walk on the beach by herself. I asked if she needed company; she told me she needed to clear her head, but that she is good and happy. We rented snorkel gear for the week, so I went off the beach looking at fish and coral while Mom walked. Mom got back later in the afternoon; still time for her to get in her suit and spend some time at the pool, getting some sun. She wore the yellow one-piece. God, I was proud to be with her. I could see other guys checking her out.
That night we had dinner at the hotel. We didn't have a car, so it was just easier to stay local. It was not cheap, but since the trip was free, we felt free to splurge some. We went for a walk on the beach at sunset. Just walking in the surf, our shoes off. Kind of romantic, but again, nothing happened.
The next day, Tuesday, was an event day. We could either go golfing, fully paid, or go on a scuba diving trip, again fully paid. Mom is not a golfer, and we both like snorkeling, so the scuba was an easy choice. Mom let me know she had plans for us that evening, but she would not let me know what they were. She just wanted to do something to show her appreciation, a chance for her to pay back for taking her on the trip.
We got to the dock where the scuba left from. There was a pretty good crowd. People were getting in a line, and every twelve or so people were ushered to a dive boat and took off. Probably took 10 or 12 boats, so it was popular. When we finally got to our boat, I noticed Sally was also getting on board, but I didn't see her and one. I did notice Sally was not wearing a ring, so maybe the guy wasn't her husband. Who knows? Mom wore her one piece again; probably afraid something might fall off a bikini while diving. She was still looking great.
When we got to the dive site, the instructors paired us off (easy for Mom and me) and then gave individual instructions for each pair. After about 45 minutes of instructions topside, it was time to get in the water.
Mom and I had a great time underwater. As her dive buddy, I stayed close; most of the time we were holding hands. I was trying to point out interesting things. Fish, coral, and we even saw an eel. The dive master was leading us on a trail, probably 20 or 25 feet deep. I got lost as soon as we could not see the boat anymore; I just followed along. Eventually the boat appeared magically in front of us, and the trail was done. We could stay down at the boat anchor till our tank air pressure went down to a certain level and then had to get out. I, being larger, used up my air faster, and I had to leave Mom down there. 10 minutes later she surfaced, and I helped her get on board, then helped her with the dive stuff. Sally got paired up with a kid, probably 14 or so. He looked happy to get with someone like her. He would have been a store owner's son. Several times that day I saw Sally checking us out. Not sure why. Did she think it was weird I was with an older woman? Was she disappointed to be paired with a kid? Who knows? That's women.
We got back to the hotel, and we each took a shower, separately, getting cleaned up and dressed for dinner. We did eat in the hotel dining room again, so doing dinner was not the surprise Mom had in store for us. Back in the room, Mom said she wanted to go for another evening walk on the beach. Good by me. Back to shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and beach sandals. Mom came out of the bathroom in her blue bikini top (finally) and a beach wrap around her waist, looking like a loose skirt. Yep, Ketty was right, 34B. Fit perfectly. She was also carrying a beach bag over her shoulder.
We walked along, getting our feet wet along the shore, hand in hand. Kind of a perfect setting. Mom seemed to have a destination in mind; she kept telling me we're almost there, whatever there was. Probably a perfect spot to watch the sunset from.
"Ian, I need to ask a favor of you."
She looked nervous, kind of excited, but very serious. She was looking directly at me.
"For the next hour, can you not say anything and do exactly what I tell you? It's kind of important. You can trust me."
"You want me to not talk for an hour and follow your instructions. Not sure what kind of game you're getting me into, but sure. For you, anything."
Mom led me off the beach towards a stand of bushes. Behind the bushes was a little open area, still sandy. She set her bag down and got out her phone. She started playing a slow song from the 80s and set the phone on the bag. Mom looked at me and told me to dance with her. Sure, dancing with Mom sounded about right.
We just stood there, slow dancing to the music, Mom's head on my shoulder. Holding each other. I was loving looking down at her. After the song, she played another slow one. This time, as we were dancing, she looked straight at me, pulled my head down, and kissed me. Fully on the lips. More magic. This is the first time Mom, and I had kissed, beyond a quick mother-son peck. First just a light flutter, barely touching. Slowly, softly. I could see Mom's eyes were closed. Then the passion started rising, and the kiss got a little firmer.
Eventually the song was over; we broke, and Mom put the phone away. I was, obviously, interested to see where this was going and kind of getting a little turned on. How could the barest of a kiss be so erotic, so sensual? Dare I say intimate? Mom then took a large beach towel out of her bag and laid it on the sand. Mom laid down on the towel and motioned me to lie beside her. Mom wrapped her arms around me, and we were kissing again. I could feel Mom's tongue pressing against my lips, and I let her in, and our tongues swirled together.
As I lay there, it suddenly occurred to me the only sound I could hear was the nearby surf. I had an instant flashback to the scene from Summer of 42. My god, is Mom really going to do this for me? My fantasy? She went for a walk yesterday, looking for this spot. How long has she planned this? Mom could see my recognition. She looked at me and nodded; I just smiled back. My excitement level went up even more. I was going to say something, but Mom shushed me. No talking. Mom then sat up, took off her bikini top, and lay back down. There was not a lot of light by then, but there was enough to see her breasts, her erect nipples. Magnificent. Mom placed my hand on her breast, and I held it softly. Eventually I found her nipple and explored it. She was hard. I was getting ever more excited, erect. Mom then started to unbutton my shirt. When she got to the end, I sat up and took my shirt off. Mom didn't say anything, just looked directly into my eyes, the contact unbroken.
I reached down to her beach wrap at her waist, but Mom held my hands back. She wanted to be in charge. She would tell me, through touch, what I could and could not do.
Mom then had me lie back, hands to my sides; she was on her side next to me. Her eyes locked on mine. With her free hand, she started exploring my exposed chest. Swirling her fingers through my hair. Eventually finding a nipple, lightly playing across, sending a thrill through my chest downward. She started moving her hand down. Slowly past my flat belly to my waist, to the top of my shorts. Then lower still, till I could feel her hand lightly caressing my full member. Up and down, through my shorts. Up and down. Then holding me. Gentile squeezes.
Eventually her hand moved back up, to the top of my zipper. Slowly pulled down, giving access inside. Her hand, reaching in, finding me, finally skin to skin. All I could do was lie still, shivering slightly, not from the cold. Mom was in control. And the sound of waves, a constant reminder.
Abundant lubricant is already spilling from me. First Mom just held me, feeling my size, my heat. Then a slow, tender motion of her hand, stroking up and down. The moment. At that point the universe was Mom's eyes, the sound of surf, and the feeling of Mom touching me.
Mom then moved her hand back up to my waist, working my belt off. Then popping the top snap of my shorts. She then moved down, getting in position to pull my shorts off. I had to lift, and Mom removed my shorts and boxers.
Mom didn't come back beside me. She lay down next to me, lower. Closing in. Reaching my member. I couldn't see what was happening now; I just lay back, looking at the stars above.
I could feel Mom's lips touch my tip, just a feather. Then lower, along the sides to the base, then back up again. Then I could feel the wet of Mom's lips, parting around the tip of my head. Then over the whole head, then lower on the shaft. Mom was trying to swallow all of me, little by little. I could feel her tongue, playing, caressing. She didn't get all of me in; it didn't matter. What she was doing to me was like fire. Electric. Then she started moving up and down, in and out. I would not, could not, last long. After just a couple of minutes, I could feel my climax coming, rushing towards me. I wanted to warn Mom, but she didn't want me to talk or move. She was all about pleasing me, giving to me. What a gift. So, I came and came. Mom just kept with her motion, never letting go with her mouth. Finally, I was done, and I started to relax, going to half-mast. Mom released me and came back beside me. Kissed me. I could taste myself in her kiss, but at that moment it just made it more erotic.
For the first time since we started, Mom spoke in a barely heard voice.
"Ian, I want to give you this option. Some guys like this. If you want to, if you choose to, you can taste me."
I smiled and nodded yes, and Mom smiled back.
Now it was my turn to move lower. From her mouth to her breast. To her other breast. Playing, using my tongue. Then lower, licking where I choose on the way. Mom was still wearing the beach wrap. I got down lower still, below her, between her spread legs, looking up. I started caressing her legs, her thighs. Then between her thighs. Then up, pushing the wrap up as I go. When I got high enough, I found Mom didn't have panties on. She left the hotel with no panties, the whole walk on the beach to get here. That hit me as erotic, just thinking about Mom and what she was thinking leading me here. I remembered how I felt before our first experience. The excitement, anticipation.
I could keep pushing the wrap-up out of the way but decided to just go under it. So, I moved up, my tongue feeling, exploring on the way. Inside my little tent, with Mom at the top. I was thinking, was hoping, it would concentrate mom's smell. She was intoxicating. Mom was having little shivers and soft moans. It was pitch black under there; everything was by feel. Eventually I reached her pussy. I haven't had the most experience with oral sex; my usual method is to just keep moving around with my tongue and see what gets a response. First, I moved around the edges, up one side, then down the other. Then closer in, finally finding her opening in the middle. I pushed in with my tongue as deep as I could, going up and down. Her taste was as good as the smell, and she was very wet. Mom was reacting, little twitches and sounds. When I got to the clit at the top, she seemed to speed up, so I stayed there, just jotting around with my tongue. Sometimes using my lips to suck on her nub. Whatever stimulation I could devise. Mom wasn't giving me any instructions, but she was not complaining either. Mom had to be as keyed up as I was, and she didn't last much longer. All at once she started shaking harder, and her legs clamped around my head. I kept going as long as I could until she sat up and pulled me out. She looked right at me with a huge smile and kissed me. It was getting late, but there was a little light from the resorts, stars, and a partial moon.
We lay down together again, arms wrapped around each other, just holding on, in the moment. My mother, her son. Together. Tiny kisses from her. From me.
Mom reached back down to my member, stroking me. It didn't take long, and I was hard again. Mom then positioned me on my back, legs together, and then she got over me, on her hands and knees, her legs on either side of mine. In position, over my erection. We were locked into each other's eyes. Mom moved the wrap out of the way and lowered herself onto me. Me into her. She screwed me. She made love to me. All I could do was lie under her and enjoy the experience. Still locked eye to eye. Still the sounds of the surf. Mom started slow, loving. Eventually she sped up. She was tight, slippery, and wonderful. I needed to save the moment, the experience, and take a mental image. I then had to act a little. I grabbed Mom and pulled her firmly to my chest. Kissing. Her thrusts shortened in that position but became more rapid. Mom went off first. Taking a couple of seconds break, then she was back at it. I could feel her insides clamping, getting wetter. It was starting to drip onto my belly. Mom kept going. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, then I was done in. I went off on Mom. Did she get another climax then? Not sure. Mentally zoned out for a bit, but I hope she did.
Then Mom lowered herself onto my chest, me still inside her. Just resting, still saying nothing. Nothing with words, everything with shared emotions. I reached up and cupped one of her breasts. Mom looked at me, then let it go. I guess it was allowed.
We just lay there for a time. Experiencing, recovering. Eventually Mom said it was time. We put our clothes back on, gathered our stuff, and walked back to the beach. Mom sat down in the sand, and I dropped beside her.
"OK honey, the hour is up."
"Thank you, Mom, thank you for my fantasy."
"You're welcome, honey. I tried to get as close as I could. You're not 15, and I'm not 22, but there is no way to bring that back."
"Mom, I never really explained all of the reasons that movie scene affected me so much. Sure, the surf, the beautiful girl, the intimacy. All of that was important. The part I didn't talk about was the illegal part. The guy was only 15, so it was probably some kind of pedophilia. An older woman with a younger man doing an illegal act. The older woman is in total control, leading the boy to, well, somewhere. In the world today, right now, how many older, beautiful, desirable women could I do an illegal act with? OK, not counting prostitution, but you know what I mean. Comes down to you and Ketty. And Ketty already let me know, in no uncertain words, she is not an option. So, you probably did better than you know."
"So, I guess the game is over. No sense pretending it was not me last August.
"Yep, that bird has flown. But now we have a new shared memory to compensate. It's all good."
"Mom, I wanted to warn you. Ketty cornered me about the Word document she found. Eventually I admitted it was real and about me. She was originally horrified but has come around. She is good with it now, kind of, even a little jealous. So, she knows, but I don't think I would bring up the subject with her. And I'm NOT telling her about the last hour."
"Well, I wanted a memento. Which reminds me, have you seen my panties from that night?"
"All the time. Got them right in my bedroom. I'm not going to tell you what I do with them."
"Good."
"Ian, our encounter last August. Can we talk about it a little now?"
"Sure, Rachel. I just didn't want to be the one to break the spell. That was a pretty big deal to just pretend it never happened."
"I get the first part, playacting a rape. You did that well. Just enough excitement and uncertainty. How did you figure the last part? Honey, that took me to places I didn't know existed."
"Yeah, your kind of were just shaking; I had no way of knowing if I was doing it right or not."
"That shaking was basically a 10-minute-long orgasm, or many small ones strung together. I passed out because of it."
"And that gave me the opportunity to get away. I hadn't quite figured out that part."
"Honey, WHY did you do it?"
"Well, I just figured if not me, who? Nobody else would have. Well, not the same way anyway."
"How did you feel about acting out a rape on me? That seems to be far away from your comfort zone. And I want your true feelings; this is important. Be honest, please."
"Well, in my mind it was a three-act play. I came really close to bolting after act one. I had just raped you, my mother. I thought, hoped, you liked it, but I didn't know for sure. Or if you knew for sure it was me. And I was doing something to you, not something we were doing together. Guilt, uncertainty, shame. Then you picked things up in act two; we were back together, connected, and everything was good, wonderful. I was finally making love to my mother, my best friend. Then, act three. Well, we were together but got kind of disconnected. I mean, it was an incredibly erotic, exciting, sexual experience, but I lost sight of you, and you of me. At the end, it could have been anyone beside me, and that saddened me a little. Not that I was revolted or anything, just that it, somehow, was not intimate. I don't want you to feel guilty about me going through that. Overall, it was good, wonderful at times, and you really didn't have much to say about it beforehand. How do you feel about the last hour?"
"Ian, I loved giving this time to you. Connected, loving, intimate. Exciting, because it was with my son. And, like you, my best friend."
"But it felt safe? A little ordinary? Mom, you don't have to answer but, somewhere in the background, was dad with you tonight?"
"Do I see your father in you? Probably more than I should. Yes, he was here tonight, a little, through you. And for that I am grateful. A woman can have more than one dream."
"Would Dad have liked what we had tonight?"
"Certainly. I can tell you, though, your father could never have given me what happened in August. That was all you, and I will be forever grateful."
"OK. Some relationships start slow and build up to see where they go. Passions building over time. It seems like we skipped all that and went straight to 11. To the peak. And, as it turns out, our peaks are on different mountains. I'm good with that. We don't have to worry about where this could go; we already know. Mom, I don't know if we are ever going to repeat tonight or last August. But I think we could handle it if we did. What I don't want to end is how I feel about you. Just being with you. Watching movies, lying in bed, just talking. Being just a little more than mother and son. Maybe we could set some new ground rules. For instance, after tonight, could you trust us being nude together and taking showers together? If I get too excited, well, I've already raped you once, so we know how that goes. And we both really want us to find someone else, so jealousy should not be an issue down the road if either of us does get lucky."
"Ian, you are perceptive. We both know the two of us need to find other people. I agree we can keep the status quo for now. Combined showers? I'll have to think about that. You and Ketty used to go out looking together. Could you see yourself going out on the hunt with your cougar mother when we get back?"
"Sure. That's what best friends are for."
That night, back at the hotel room, Ian and Rachel stood facing each other. Neither sure what the new normal was. Rachel seemed to reach a conclusion in her mind. She reached around and unhooked her bikini top, letting it fall to the floor, then removed the wrap, leaving her nude. Ian then removed his shorts and boxers. They then just stood there a while and looked at each other, finally seeing each other in the light. Neither sure what comes next. Then Rachel walked to the shower, and Ian followed. They got in the shower and washed, hands flowing over each other. Then they got out, dried off, and went back to customary sleepwear. Mom in a t-shirt and panties, Ian in boxers. Some things should not, could not, change. Then went to bed. Now, however, if Ian 'accidentally' brushed against one of Rachel's breasts, or Rachel could feel Ian pressed against her back, well, these things happen. Both fell asleep, content with the remains of the day.
Wednesday. The group loaded onto buses late afternoon for a ranch, with an authentic, well, as much as possible, luau, After the Hawaiian beach dinner, after the hula and fire dancers, things settled down, and a soft rock band started playing, mostly 70s and 80s classics. There was a bonfire with chairs over to the side of the party area. Rachel and Ian sat by the fire, talking about nothing. Just in the moment, comfortable. Rachel got up to use the lady's room and get a drink. Ian didn't notice she was gone. Just staring at the coals, letting thoughts drift where they go.
After about 15 minutes, he felt Rachel sit back down next to him. Glancing over, surprised, he found it was Sally.
"Hi. Ian, right? I've seen you around work, but I don't think we've ever actually talked."
"Hi Sally. Yep, us computer nerds don't get around much. Just keep to our cave."
"Wasn't that great doing scuba? I had such a good time."
"Well, I noticed you got paired with a kid; I'll bet he had a great time being with you."
"He was nice, not really my dream date, however."
Occasionally, Sally would glance sideways, towards the dance area.
"I think I heard you call your friend Rachel. The two of you seem close. I was watching you; I was even a little jealous. You were great with her, attentive, touchy, and loving. Nothing like the crud I've been with lately. Getting to share the ocean with someone you obviously care about. Have you been with Rachel a long time?"
"Oh yes, it feels like my whole life."
"Do you trust her?"
"Nobody I trust more. Curious, why are you asking me this?"
"You love her?"
"With all my heart."
"Well, I just wanted to warn you. My dad has been dancing with Rachel for the past 15 minutes, and they seem, well, pretty close."
I glanced over and saw Mom slow dancing with, I now know, Sally's dad.
"Good for her. So that was my first time scuba diving, but Rachel and I have been snorkeling for a long time. A few trips to Florida. Of course, there isn't much to see there till you get out to the keys."
"Are you happy Rachel is slow dancing with someone?"
"Of course, I am. I love her. Look, we had a conversation the other day. The one thing in the world we want for the other is to find someone to be with."
"So, you love Rachel but are not in love with her?"
"Well now, love is a tricky thing. What does it mean to be in love with someone? Having sex? Being connected? Being intimate? I think love is love. Being in love is just a reflection of the boundaries you set between the two people. You and your father look closely; you came all the way to Hawaii together. Are you two in love?"
"Wow. Isn't that a little personal with someone you just met? In love with my father? Why would you ask that?"
"Sally, Rachel is my mother. No reason to hide it. If you can be here with your father, I can be with my mom. You asked if we were in love; it's the same question. And, unless I know what your definition of in love is, I'm not sure I can give you an answer, but I'm not going to rule it out."
"Ian, how old are you?"
"I'm 24. And I know what you are thinking. After college, at 21, she had my sister Ketty, and at 22, she got me, her favorite son. I'll let you do the math. And no, I don't think Rachel looks her age either."
"Wow, that's what threw me. She looked too young to be your mother. Mid-30s, 40 tops. She is in great shape for, well, any age. Way to go, girl."
"Just wondering, is your dad a good guy? Rachel is, after all, my gal. Gotta look after her."
"I would not be here with him if he wasn't. And I know what you are about to ask. Dad is 50. Mom had me when Dad was 22. You can probably do the math too."
"I'm curious as to how you came to be here, with him. If it's not too personal."
"Well, I had been seeing this guy for a few months, and he was going to be here with me this trip. Just before Christmas I found out he was seeing two other women at the same time. There was time to find someone else, but I just got kind of disgusted. Everywhere I looked, I just saw copies of my ex. My dad was available, so I figured it would be a nice, low-stress, enjoyable time with him. Dad had been dating a younger woman for years and thought they might make it permanent. In October, she up and said he was too old for her and left. And he deserved a vacation more than the jerks anyway. How did you end up here with your, well, Rachel?"
"Let's just say she ended up being my best option. And, like your dad, she deserved a vacation. She would have preferred I had found someone else, but that was not likely. You seem close to your dad; don't take that for granted."
"What do you mean, not likely? And yes, Dad and I are close."
"I don't have the best luck with the ladies. That sounded almost crude. I don't have luck finding women to date, or who want to date me."
"I find that hard to believe. Why would you say that?"
"When I was a kid, I stuttered, really bad. And it kind of marked me. I never developed confidence, never had the moves or pickup lines. Just going up to a woman is terrifying. Not knowing what to say. And then I would start stuttering; it would come flooding back after all those years. Women really don't like it when that happens. If I get past that, I have kind of a weird programmer's sense of humor. Not everyone gets me. So, 6 months ago, when we found out about the trip, Mom and I both knew she might be my best option. I really didn't want to take my roommate. Mom didn't want to embarrass me, I guess, so she joined a gym and got into shape in case she had to step in. My god, did she shape up. Hopefully this all spurs her to keep going, get out there. Dad died when I was in high school, and it kind of set Mom back."
"Funny thing, I don't hear any stuttering. I'm enjoying talking to you, and you seem to have a lot to say. I still don't get it."
"Well, with you it's easy. You came to me, not the other way around. Then there's what, 4 levels difference between us? Makes it easy to talk to someone if there is no chance of anything happening. Takes the anxiety out."
"4 levels? I'm confused."
"Well, I figure you're a 10. I don't know you that well, but I don't see anything to mark you down for. Tall, beautiful, and good body, if you don't mind me saying so. I figure I'm probably a little better than average. I'm tall, not fat, and all that. So, I give myself a 6. So that puts you 4 levels above me. Pressure is off all around. And there are not a lot of other options on this trip, so Rachel is my gal, at least till Saturday. Even though, at the moment, she is dancing with your dad."
"You think you're a 6, really?"
"It's confirmed. I tried those dating sites. I select lots of women that look ok, and I get maybe 1 hit a day, and they never work out. So, the internet has decided I'm not top tier. If you saw me on a site, you would just skip me, like most women do. It's not like I've never been with a woman. I had some success in college, but the situation was way different there. My odds were better, we'll say."
"Ian, those dating sites are a bunch of crap. I honestly liked watching you with your mom. You really treated her nice".
"All part of being a good son, I guess. And Mom and I kind of understand each other; she gets me. It's easy for us to be together."
"You never did answer me, by the way. Are you and your dad in love?"
"Well, come to think of it, I guess I'm not sure either. My mom left us when I was 12; Dad and I stayed close. Dad dated a few women off and on.
4 years ago, Dad met Mia. That kind of complicated things. Two women and all that. And she really was not that much older than me, not really like a mother-daughter relationship. I can't say I was really upset when she took off. There is no way Dad could have gone with me if she was still around; she would have been jealous. Let's just say we are comfortable around each other. And, like your mom, he needs to find someone."
Kevin and Rachel, done dancing for the moment, are moving towards Ian and Sally.
"Sally, can your dad take a joke?"
"Yeah, pretty well, why?"
As they meet up, Ian stands up and approaches Kevin.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"You do know I came here with Rachel? You were dancing for quite a while. Are you putting the moves on my girl?"
Kevin looks confused.
"Well, it seemed like Rachel was just hanging out. She didn't say anything about anyone else being here?"
"Are you saying Rachel put the moves on you?"
"Well, no, kind of. Look, I didn't want to cause trouble."
"Rachel, I thought you said I was your guy through Saturday."
"Ian, you were ignoring me; I got bored and wandered off."
"Do I have to watch you every second?"
"What, you don't like looking at me?"
"How could anyone not like looking at you? Do you need protection? Or does he need protection from you?"
"Well, that remains to be seen."
"Are you going to introduce me to your new 'friend'?"
Giggles from the two women.
"Kevin, this is Ian, my, at the moment, very bad son. He's just playing with you."
"Oh, ok. Good. So, Rachel, you are available, as it were?"
"Unless Ian comes to my rescue again, I guess I am."
"Mom, this is Sally, Kevin's daughter. And, before you get any weird ideas or get your hopes up, she came over to talk to me, not the other way around. She just wanted to warn me my girl was getting hit on by her dad."
After a pause, Sally turned to Ian.
"You know, you are about the tallest guy here tonight. I seem to be kind of tall too, which limits my possibilities. I think right now you are about my best option. Do you want to dance?"
And they did dance. A lot. Ian even got in a couple with Rachel and Sally with her dad. Sally was easy to talk to, even laughing at Ian's sense of humor. By the end of the night, the 4 were together on the bus back to the hotel. It felt good, expecting. They agreed to meet up again for breakfast the next day. The elevator in the hotel stopped at the 6th floor. Rachel and Sally both got a quick goodnight kiss; somehow it didn't even feel awkward, a mother and son together that way. Then the elevator continued to the 8th.
"OK, Ian, I still don't get it. All this time I hear how bad you do around women, but you did great tonight. Watching you and Sally together just looked right.
"Well, it's like I was telling Sally. It's a lot easier to be around someone you have no chance with. I don't have to try to be something I'm not. I'm really Sally's only option on this trip; I guess I'm tall enough. And she didn't seem to hate being around me. I do like her. At least I might have found a friend back at work, someone to eat lunch with or something. And, being seen with someone that good-looking, it might up my standings with the other women."
"Honey, I was watching Sally with you. I think you're doing a little better than you think."
"Let's just say I had fun today. What about you and Kevin? How is that going? Seem to be hitting it off from my vantage."
"I'm enjoying the moment, possibly a little vacation magic?"
Ian and Rachel took a shower together and got ready for bed. Comfortable, routine.
The four met up for brunch the next day and then decided on a beach day. That night was the formal dinner, so they went swimming soon after eating, leaving time to get ready for later.
All 4 had snorkel gear, so they were off looking for whatever underwater marvels were to be seen. After a while, Tracey started back for the beach, and Sally followed her back to the towels.
"Rachel, I was hoping we could have a talk without the guys."
"I kind of figured you might."
"I have a question about Ian. He's not gay, is he? Or does he not like me? I like him, but I can't get a read on him. I thought I was, you know, trying to show interest?"
"Honey, I was watching you, and yes, I saw that last night. You are wondering if he's fake; is he playing you or something? The simple answer is no; what you see is what he is. Ian is not good at, well, let's call it relationship games. Last night we talked about you, of course. Mother's prerogative. Ian does like you. He said he thought he found a friend, but that you are out of his league."
"Yah. He told me he thought I was a 10, and he was a 6. I keep trying to find something wrong with him, to understand why he would think that."
"His sister and I have been telling him that for years; we just can't get through to him. Sally, I like what I know of you so far. For what it's worth, if you have designs on my son, you have my blessing. All I can say is, if you do like him, you are going to drag him to you and make him see the light. Talk to him directly; tell him what you want; it's as easy as that. But if you are looking for a bad boy, someone with an edge, you might be disappointed. He is the ultimate nice guy and a good son to me. And, once you get him to your level, once he finds out what you want, I think he might surprise you."
Later, as the guys were coming back from the water, Rachel stood up, grabbed Kevin's hand, and led him for a walk on the beach, leaving Ian and Sally.
"So, did you have a nice talk with my mom?"
"Yep. Very informative. Sit, let's talk."
"You told me I was a 10 because you could not find anything to mark me down for. Ian, I feel the same way about you. Look, I have dated lots of other guys, pretty boys, and bad boys. Everything is superficial, or people are using or lying to each other. No matter what happens to us, I would like to think I made a friend on this trip, and for that I'm grateful. But more than that, I want to try dating a nice guy for a change, a real person. You. Starting tonight. I'm asking you to be my date for the dinner tonight. Not just as friends, as a couple. What say you?"
"OK, that clears that up. Yes, absolutely. I thought things were going well; at least you were not running away screaming. And I have to admit, I have been thinking about you a lot, actually."
"I feel like I got to see the real you, and I like what I saw. And Ian, the best part of going to the ball with Prince Charming? I get to wear heels! It can be hard for me to find someone that I don't tower over."
"Well, as long as I meet all your requirements, good deal."
After dinner, after many dances, Sally left me alone for a few minutes. I just sat there, looking at but not seeing the remaining crowd. Thinking about everything that had happened this week. This year. Thinking, sometimes magic does happen. Then I saw Sally gliding back, elegant as ever.
"Well, I just talked to Dad. Apparently, we, or at least I, have a problem. Seems my dad found a hussy somewhere and wants to ask her back to our room for the night."
Reflecting for a second.
"Good for him. And good for you. You get to be in a threesome, and on vacation no less."
"Well, Dad's a little weird that way. He would think a threesome on a first date could be a little awkward."
"I can see that. Well, I can lend you a pillow. You could camp out on the beach or on one of the lounge chairs around the pool."
"Thanks, but what if it rains?"
'Well, then you get wet, I suppose. Or you could come up and stay with Mom and me, slipping in between us. Of course, with just a queen-size bed, there might be a lot of contact. Touching and whatnot.'"
"There might be more room left in your bed than you realize."
"Oh really. Cool, then we wouldn't have to touch, lots of room to spread out."
"Ian, one thing I can guarantee you. If I spend the night with you, in your bed, there will be touching."
"Sounds like a proposition. Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me? Are you trying to pick me up?"
"Sure."
"Well, OK then. Let's hear it."
"Hear what?"
"Your pickup line. Look, you're used to dealing with assholes and jerks. You are dealing with a nice guy here. I need to hear your pickup line to decide if you are worthy or not. I don't go home with just anyone."
"I'm more used to getting those lines than giving them, but OK. Your mom told me to be direct. Ian, do you want to take me back to your room and screw my brains out?"
"No."
"No?"
"Look, try to understand. A nice guy would never take you back to his room and screw you. Now if you were to take me back to my room and screw my brains out, well, that's a different story. I could go for that."
"So, you want me to take you to bed. You get to be the nice guy. Wouldn't that make me the bad girl?"
"God, I hope so."
Both laughing.
"You know, it has been a long day. Suddenly I'm feeling wiped out. All the beach, all the dancing. Are you ready to head up?"
"Now that you mention it, I'm kind of ready too. We better let the kids know."
Sally and Ian, holding hands, head over to the parents, who are slow dancing. Ian gets their attention.
"Well, Sally and I have had a long day; we're going to head up. We'll see you two in the morning. Brunch at 10:00?"
"Oh really, Ian?"
A smirk on Mom's face. Mom looks over at Kevin. Kevin just looks back, a sly smile, saying nothing. Mom's smirk turns to a smile.
"Oh, um, ok. Good. See you kids in the morning then."
"And Mom, I'll just be two floors away. Give me a call if you find your honor needs defending."
"Right, ever the good son. Get you two and have fun."
Woke up with Sally in my arms. She was looking at me, smiling.
"Well, it's about time. I didn't want to wake you, but I really need to go."
Sally got up and walked to the bathroom. Naked, of course, after last night's antics. It struck me that it was like watching a statue from a museum come to life. I could see her dress from last night's dinner party draped over a chair. After a few minutes, I heard the shower turn on.
"Ian, I need your help. I can't quite reach the middle of my back."
Now THAT is a good reason to get out of bed. I hurried to her side. After testing the water temp, Sally got in the shower, and I followed. We started off washing each other. After all, there was 'some' residue of last night on both of us. I then got into the stream and shampooed, rinsed, and then let Sally get in the water to do her longer hair. I took a couple of minutes to rinse. Standing behind Sally, I wrapped my arms around her waist, then moved my hands up to her breasts. Everything was slippery and warm. Sally leaned back into my chest. It didn't take long for me to be fully hard, fully excited. Sally could feel the attention on her behind. She reached around and positioned me lower, between her legs.
Sally, also being tall, was the perfect height for this. I started moving back and forth along her pussy, with Sally getting into the motion. Eventually she reached between her legs and positioned me against her opening and pushed back. I slid in easily; Sally was already wet. I held her tighter. We were slow and easy, not frantic like the first time the night before. A steady connection, enjoying the moment. Over time the rhythm sped up, and eventually I could feel Sally shudder and let out a satisfied moan. I kept the motion going and had my own orgasm a couple of minutes later.
We got out and toweled off. My phone went off, a call from Rachel.
"Morning, Ian. Hey, last night you said you wanted to meet for breakfast at 10:00. Well, it's 9:00, and I'm having a little issue getting ready. Seems you have all my clothes and makeup in your room. I didn't want to barge into you, but I think Sally and I need to swap, at least for this morning."
"OK, give us 10 minutes and come on up."
"Sally, I think you have to go. Rachel's coming up in 10."
"So, you screw my brains out all night and then kick me out in the morning. I see how this goes."
"Well, you could stay and explain what evils you did to her favorite son all last night. That would be interesting, especially if we're still naked."
"OK, getting dressed, I see her point. I'll leave and see you back at breakfast. I really don't want to wear my dress from last night; people might get the wrong idea. Can I borrow a t-shirt and some shorts?"
"You mean people will get the correct idea. Anyway, sure, t-shirt and shorts coming up."
The shorts fit Sally OK, if a little loose. Just have to cinch up the belt. The t-shirt is one Ian just bought at the gift shop. Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be, Sally was not wearing a bra with her dress last night, and she currently fit VERY well in Ian's t-shirt. Something about seeing Sally in a too-tight t-shirt, braless, was more erotic than seeing her naked. Yet another mental image from this trip Ian wanted to keep. In fact, he got his phone and took a couple of quick pics of Sally, showing all her assets.
Sally gathered up her clothes from last night and headed for the door, barefoot. A quick kiss, and she was gone. A couple of minutes later, Rachel knocked, and Ian let her in.
*****
Sally and Kevin had decided before the trip to extend the stay a couple of days. They saw Ian and Rachel off at the airport shuttle stop at the hotel. The trip back had a quick stop in Honolulu, then an 8-hour flight back home. Plus, a 5-hour time difference. The flight from Honolulu left at midnight, getting them home early Sunday afternoon. The intention was to sleep as much as possible on the flight. Ian had a window seat, with Rachel next to him, with a woman in the aisle. They put down the armrest between them, with Ian backed up against the window and Rachel lying against him. This gave Ian more legroom. It was a little chilly on the plane, so they draped a blanket over themselves.
At this point they were not talking much; other people were trying to sleep. The position was a little convoluted, but they managed to get relatively comfortable. Rachel closed her eyes, using Ian's shoulder as a pillow. After Rachel settled down, Ian was surprised to find his hand positioned over one of Rachel's breasts. He gave a little squeeze. Rachel opened her eyes for a couple of seconds, looking directly at Ian, then closed them again, a smile forming.
Ian's thoughts were swirling, as they usually did.
It feels nice being this close to Rachel, comfortable. I have a new relationship with Sally and am excited to see where that will go. Am I cheating on Sally, holding Mom like this? Or is the relationship with Mom something different than with Sally that can exist alongside? Just what is my relationship to Mom? How does she feel about me as something more than a son? Well, play it out; see where things go. But no lying to anyone. Well, maybe to Ketty. THAT truth would just make everything even more complicated.
The plane landed, and after retrieving luggage and a goodbye kiss, they went their separate ways. Normally at the end of a vacation, you feel happy about the trip but a little sad that it's over. This time, for both Rachel and Ian, there was that, plus the anticipation for the relationships just forming.
Sally did make it back to work by that Thursday. They had lunch in the office cafeteria and decided to do dinner that night, where it would be easier to talk.
"Wonderful trip. I didn't want a bunch of people to overhear us at work; this works much better. I checked out the community college. In June they have a scuba certification class. I'm thinking about going; I would love to go diving in more places, go deeper, and stuff. Plus, the exotic places you get to go. Beach life might just be for me."
"Agreed, I might just tag along. I really liked the scuba too. Ian, I know there's no ban on employees dating at work, but I really don't want 'us' to be common knowledge, at least for now. Not that I don't want to keep going. Everything happened so fast in Hawaii; I almost feel like I need to take a step back and get to know you. No matter what happens, I want to keep you as a friend. That, in my dating experience, just about never happens. Eventually someone does something to the other, tempers flare, and the relationship ends. Very sad, actually. So, can we just date for a while? I'm not saying we will not 'get together'; I'm just not ready for you to move in with me. I mean, I've only known you, been with you, for what, 3 days?"
"Yep, I get that. Vacations can be like that, or so I'm told. People let loose a little more; things happen. If everyone knows we're a couple, it just gets more complicated. Especially if we don't make it. So, Sally, are you available, say, Saturday night?"
"Let me check my social calendar. Yep, looks like I can squeeze you in. I'll let you figure out the details."
"So, what do you think about my mom and Kevin?"
"They seemed to have fun, a good connection. The biggest issue I see is Dad lives a half hour from me, in the wrong direction for your mom. If they want to keep it going, it'll be long distance."
"After dating a younger woman for years, will your dad think Mom is too old?"
"Actually, we talked about that. I think Dad is done with younger women. Of course, your mom kind of looks like a younger woman anyway. I don't see that as an issue. That's not something we can fix or do anything about anyway. Up to them to figure out."
"What about the other elephant in the room? Are you OK dating a younger man?"
"4 years difference? I think I can handle that."
"Just to let you know, I've always had a thing for older women. Just saying."
"We get to see each other every day at work and date when we like. I'd also like to stay tight with Mom. I've been going home for a weekend about every 3 or 4 weeks. I'd like to keep to that schedule, depending on if your dad is visiting, of course."
"When I saw you two diving, it looked like two honeymooners. It was so obvious you were in love. Then you let me know she was actually your mom; that surprised me. You intimated you are a little closer than a normal mother and son, that depending on the definition, you are in love. I also saw how you reacted to Dad and your mom dancing. Happiness, not jealousy. You really do want the best for each other. I've been thinking about this; I don't want to get between you two. Whatever you have going on, I don't need to know about. Everybody has baggage in their past. What I DON'T want for us is to lie to each other, ever. What I'm saying is there are things you don't need to know about me, my past, and probably things in your past I don't need to know. Whatever relationship you had with your mother, have with your mother, is not a threat to me. And I don't need to know any details if you choose not to tell me. We both ended up in Hawaii, sleeping with a parent, for God's sake."
"Wow. Now that's the way to start a relationship. Get it all out there from the start. And I really agree about the no-lying part. Of course, I may not ALWAYS volunteer the full details. But if you ever ask me a direct question, expect the truth back. One more good thing about being with you. If you ever ask me how you look in anything, I have no reason to not tell you the truth. Fabulous."
Three weeks later.
'"Mom, time for a visit. Are you free this weekend?"
"Actually I am. So, Sally is not keeping you busy enough? Need some home cooking? And is she doing your laundry now?"
"Finally, no lectures about finding a woman. Sally is going to spend some family time with her dad this weekend. All good."
The next night, Ian got to Rachel's.
"Mom, where do you want me to put my bag?"
"Well now, that's a loaded question. I guess my room; I don't see any reason to change for now."
"I was hoping you would say that. Seems like every time we are together lately, it's a new normal, new rule."
Over dinner.
"OK, Mom, time for the lowdown on you and Sally's dad. I've been trying not to pester you too much, but I'm here now. Details? Have you been together much? Sally said he was out of town last weekend. Is your house out of town?"
"Yes, Kevin was here last weekend, and we had a good time. We're still getting to know each other. He calls a lot, but last weekend was the first time we could reconnect in person. I'm really starting to like him. The distance is good and bad. Good that we can slow down things, bad that he's not here."
"So, when you say slow down, does that mean he put his bag in the guest room?"
"No. After the last two days in Hawaii, any guest room stuff is out the window. We're just enjoying each other, seeing how things play out. Not making any plans. How are you and Sally doing?"
"Great. We get to see each other every day at lunch. And she also wanted to back off a little. So, we are kind of dating now, but exclusively. Not that we don't SEE a lot of each other. We only live about 10 minutes apart, so that's convenient. Mom, does Kevin talk about Sally at all? Did you ever get a vibe that there might be something between them, more than fatherly? I know we have no room to talk in that regard."
"Well, they do seem close. Hard to tell. Do you know something"?
"We had a 'we need to talk' conversation, but in a good way. Sally just wanted to clear the air before our relationship. She is big on having no lies between us, which I agree with. She said we both probably have secrets in our past, better left there, that the other might not need to know about. Then she talked about you and me. Our relationship. Whatever we have going is not a threat to her, and she is OK with it and does not need to know any details about it. Most women would feel threatened, could feel threatened, about a close mother-and-son relationship. But if she had the same deal with her dad, would she be more understanding about us? And we had another conversation at the luau that was interesting. Talking about the difference between love and being in love. We both agreed that, depending on the definition, we could not rule out being in love with our parent. I know you have thought about this; I know I have. Just what is our relationship, currently?"
"Well, you found Sally, but here you are back home, right on schedule. And I found Kevin, but I'm always happy you're here. So, Sally suspects something between us but is OK with it. Makes me wonder if Kevin is like-minded. Our current relationship? I would say, in development. Things are happening, changing, so fast. In the past I had a set of barriers between us, keeping us on the level, as it were. Mothers and sons are not supposed to be more than intimate; we both need to find someone else. What happens if Ketty finds out? One by one the barriers are coming down. There is nobody left to feel guilty or ashamed. One detail about last August, I never told you about. You said you were sad we were not more connected that night. After I woke up that morning and remembered what had happened, I went out to the kitchen. I found the calling card you left me. I was going to throw the cigarette pack away, then on a whim I took one out and lit up. It was mostly a way to connect with you, even after you left. Kind of like people used to light up in bed after the fact. I thought a lot about that night these past few months. Playing the game, pretending we didn't know. Part of me was hoping you would push the issue, make love to me again. But, as always, you were the good son, and I was trying to be the good mother. And what happened in Hawaii was payback, so that was OK. Well, OK in my mind anyway. So that leaves us here, now. Like I said, we'll see what develops."
As is customary, Friday night was movie night. After dinner, Ian and Rachel assumed 'the position' on the couch, beer and wine close by, and started a movie. Ian lay back, and Rachel curled up on his chest. Both just felt right. Ian's arm wrapped around Rachel.
15 minutes into the movie Rachel's hand started to wander. Idly stroking across Ian's chest. Eventually her hand happened across a nipple. Little strokes, back and forth. Not lost on Ian. Encouraged, Ian started some wandering of his own, landing on one of Rachel's breasts. Rachel looked up at Ian, moved up the couch, and kissed him. Slow and long. Then more kisses.
"Ian, I was thinking. If we ever decide to be 'more than intimate' again, can you call me Rachel? While it's going on? Like in Hawaii. Mom just doesn't seem appropriate."
"Sure, Mom."
After a few more kisses, a little more wandering hands, and a little more thinking.
"Rachel, I'm thinking I'm about ready for bed."
"Sounds like a fine idea." Whatever barriers were left between Rachel and Ian were now gone. "Can you give me a couple of minutes to get ready? I'll call you in."
Rachel had thought about this possibility, this moment. She knew she and Ian had enjoyed their previous encounters, but that he needed to stay connected with her. What better way to connect and interact than to play games? Role-playing games, if possible. And she wanted to connect with the previous sessions, bring them forward, but altered. Ian really seemed to enjoy being under her wrap on the beach. And Rachel had really enjoyed her time with her toy and Ian.
Rachel took off her jeans, blouse, and bra, leaving her panties. Then put on a tight, short-sleeve sweater top and a long, flowing, pleated skirt. Then she called Ian in.
Rachel commanded, "Take your clothes off. Now."
Ian stripped. They were now standing, looking at each other.
"Down on your knees."
Ian knelt in front of Rachel.
"Do you like my panties?"
"Yes, Rachel."
"How do you know? Can you see them?"
"No, Rachel."
"Do you want to see them?"
"Yes, Rachel."
"I'm going to show you, my panties. In fact, I want you to take off my panties. Would that be fun?"
"Yes, Rachel."
"Do nice boys touch girls' panties?"
"No, Rachel, nice boys don't touch panties."
"Well then, how are you going to take them off?"
"I don't know Rachel."
Rachel moved in closer to Ian. She lifted her skirt, and Ian moved in, up against Rachel. She let the skirt go, trapping Ian under. Memories of Hawaii came back to him. The intoxicating smell of Rachel.
"Ian, take off my panties. Remember no hands."
Ian maneuvered up to Rachel's waist. On one hip, he used his tongue to get under the panty waistband, then could use his teeth to pull the panties down, 2 inches on one side. Then the other side, 4 inches down. Ian worked, back and forth, till at about her knees the panties loosened and fell to the floor. Ian then moved back to her pussy, using his tongue where he could reach.
"Ian, stop that. I didn't say you could do that. Who gives the orders here?"
Rachel stepped back from the kneeling Ian.
"You do, Rachel."
"Good boy. Now get up and lie in bed, on your back, head on the pillow."
Ian did as request. Rachel got on the bed, on her hands and knees, and maneuvered her pussy over Ian's face, spreading out the skirt all around, again trapping Ian. The lights were still on in the room, and enough light shone through the material that Ian could see what was coming.
She then lowered herself onto Ian's mouth. Gently. Ian couldn't really move much, so Rachel did. Moving her pussy back and forth, up and down, in and out. Whatever felt good. Ian assisted as well, extending his tongue as far as he could. Then she stopped. Ian was liking this more and more. More aspects of their last meeting, but different. Why did she stop?
"Ian, that is a very little penis."
"That's my tongue, Rachel."
"I see. Then where is your penis?"
"It's behind you, Rachel."
Rachel turns. "Very nice, Ian. You really are a big boy. Are you a good boy or a bad boy with your penis?"
"I'm a bad boy, Rachel."
"That's what Rachel wanted to hear."
Rachel, still on her hands and knees, moved back down the bed. She positioned herself over Ian's, now, very erect member. She again spread the skirt around herself as far as it would go, covering Ian's lower chest and upper legs. Staring intently at Ian, she slowly lowered herself. Eventually resting on Ian's crotch and her ankles. She moved her hands to Ian's chest, starting a slow, long rhythm. Every time she moved up and out, the skirt would tent around Ian. When she moved down, inside, the skirt would lie flat.
Ian had always had a thing for seeing women in skirts and dresses. Something about the feminine aspects. The being was exposed, not knowing what was underneath but, from the right angle, could be seen. A game between man and woman. He was thinking about what she might be hiding, whether she was wearing panties, what they would look like, hoping to catch a fleeting glimpse. She is doing everything she can to hide herself. Crossing legs, holding the hem in a wind, being oh so careful sitting or standing, getting into a car. Sometimes letting him get a glimpse on purpose. Seeing Rachel on him. Him in her. All hidden by the skirt, but knowing, at this moment, exactly what she is hiding. The tight sweater, with no bra, added to the experience. Ian could see the true shape of her breasts, and they would jiggle every time she went up and down. Hidden and exposed at the same time. Yes, this was working for Ian. He would not, could not, last long.
Rachel sped up, then she sensed Ian getting close and stopped. Lifted and pulled out.
"Has Ian been a good boy?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Does Ian deserve his reward?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I'm Rachel, not your ma'am."
"Yes, Rachel. Please, Rachel, more?"
"OK. You have been good and respectful."
Rachel lowered onto Ian again. Renewed her rhythm, faster. She reached down, under her skirt, and felt Ian enter her. Leave her. She was in control. She could feel her climax coming on the edge. Building. Hold off, slow down, and try to match Ian.
"Rachel, it's coming. I'm close."
With the first feeling of Ian letting go, up into her, Rachel could let herself go. 5 or 6 pulses from Ian, and her climax was still happening. Ian stayed hard enough, long enough, to finish Rachel. She collapsed onto his chest. Both satisfied. Rachel stretched out her legs and lay full length, Ian still inside her.
"Wow. That was amazing. I love you, Rachel."
"Love you too, baby."
Felt so good to just lay there. Content. Happy. Satisfied. However, Rachel was not done. She was hoping Ian could keep going. Keep playing games. She remembered what Ian had said about their first encounter and had felt unconnected. Let's see if we can fix that.
10 minutes later.
"Ian, do you like playing games?"
"Loved playing that game, for sure."
Softly "Can we play another? Please?"
Rachel moved over to her nightstand, where she kept her toys. She pulled out her dildo and a little tube of lube and handed them to Ian. She was trying to look innocent, demure. Ian could sense the change. Rachel wants to go from being in charge to Ian taking the lead.
"Stand up."
Rachel got up and stood near the bed.
"Lift your skirt."
Rachel lifted the skirt over her waist.
"Rachel, you don't have any panties on. Good girls always wear panties. Are you a bad girl?"
"Yes, Ian, I'm a bad girl."
"What is that running down your leg? Is something leaking out of you?"
"Yes, Ian. I was a bad girl with a boy.
"Take your dress off. And your top."
Rachel got naked.
"Rachel, you've been dirty. Dirty girls need to take a shower. Get in the shower and wash yourself, your girl bits. Don't get your hair wet. I'll watch to make sure you get clean enough."
Rachel started the shower and got in, leaving the door open. She positioned herself at the back, the water only hitting from the waist down. Ian stood just outside, watching. She got a soapy sponge and started to clean herself.
"Make sure to get everything that got dirty. And your backside."
Watching Rachel take a shower, cleaning his remains off her, was a bit erotic. Rachel really did try to clean herself well; she thought she knew what was coming.
"OK, clean enough. Are you still a dirty girl?"
"No, I'm a clean girl now."
"Good. Dry off and get in bed. Lay on your back."
Ian picked up the dildo and turned it on. He didn't start at her crotch; he wanted to stretch this out. He used the dildo as a massager. Started on the side of her cheek. Down to the side of her neck. Slowly stroking back and forth. Lower then, to her heaving breasts. Moving around, just the tip. Her breast sides. Then moving to the center, her nipple. He could sense Rachel's excitement growing. The other breast, same treatment. Then lower. Her flat stomach. Her belly button. Rachel could feel the vibrations all the way inside of her. Tingling. Building. The dildo is now flat on Rachel. Ian kept at that spot. Moving in circles. Rachel is smiling. Obvious pleasure. Then Ian moved lower, down to her thighs. One side and the other. Then inner thighs. Back and forth. Moving closer. Closer. Moving up. Then Ian stopped, turned off the dildo, and placed it aside. Rachel gave a look of longing, begging. Please.
"OK, get on your hands and knees; inspection time."
Rachel turned over, ass as high as she could, legs apart. Her face is now buried in a pillow. She was fully exposed to Ian from behind. Ian lowered onto her sex, his tongue exploring Rachel, tasting. Moving around and finally inside as far as he could reach.
"Rachel, I thought you cleaned your pussy. It's wet and dripping. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry, Ian. I guess I'm still a bad girl."
Ian went back to his explorations. He was not sure exactly how this game was going to work, making it up as he went. He stopped kissing her pussy and moved up from his position. Up, till his tongue could feel her back hole. Her rosebud. It tasted clean, slightly of the soap she used. His tongue swirling, tasting. He even thought to push in, just a bit. Still tasted good. Rachel was moaning, enjoying. Ian had a sudden flash. He was tasting his mother's asshole. And somehow it wasn't weird or awkward. Just in the moment. He picked up the lube and put generous amounts on her rosebud and on her pussy. Everywhere. Then he picked up the dildo, turned it on, and lubed it. He moved it to her pussy, just the tip touching. He teased Rachel, moving the tip around. Inside a bit, then back out. Teasing. Then Ian positioned it over her and pushed. Rachel arched back, trying to impale herself on it. It went all the way in easily. Ian let Rachel control how far. Then out, all the way. Toying with Rachel. Then back in. Then he left it.
"Rachel, do you like your toy there?"
"Yes, please."
"OK, you can hold it now. You play with you."
Rachel grabbed the dildo and started to fuck herself with it, legs spread; ass still high in the air. Ian got the lube and put a generous amount on his member and more on Rachel's hole. She was so slippery back there now. He moved his fingers up and down, then inside. Tight and warm. He could feel the vibration with his fingers. Ian then positioned himself behind Rachel, his dickhead resting on her hole.
"Please, Ian."
Enough encouragement. Ian pushed in; Rachel pushed back. It went in easier this time. A couple of inches.
"Please, all the way."
Ian pushed in; Rachel pushed back. Ian could feel the dildo, feel the vibration. Further. Easily. Gently. All the way in. God, it was tight but smooth. Slippery. Ian could feel Rachel clamp down. On the dildo. On his dick. She kept pumping the dildo in and out. Her speed. Ian tried to match from behind. He could feel Ketty shudder again. And again. Finally, he could feel it getting nearby. The vibration, the feeling.
"Ian, baby. I'm here. Let it go. Please."
Ian reached around and grabbed Rachel's breasts. Hugging her from behind. Pinching the nipples. Then, he let loose. Shot after shot entered his mother's ass. Eventually, he collapsed on Rachel. She lowered herself to the bed, and they just lay there. Ian still inside her, the vibrator still going. For five more minutes.
"I'm done, honey. Please, release me."
She pulled out the dildo as Ian pulled out from behind. They sat up and just looked at each other. What can you say? What should you say?
"Let's get a shower; we need to clean up again."
They took a shower, just washing each other. They dressed for bed. Ian in boxers, Rachel in a t-shirt and panties. Then went out to the kitchen and sat around the table. What a comfortable, erotic feeling. Sitting with his mother after whatever it was that just happened.
"One more detail, if that's ok?"
"Sure, Rachel. Whatever."
Rachel went over to the cupboard and pulled out a saucer. Then he went over to a drawer and pulled out a lighter and an unopened pack of cigarettes. She opened the pack and gave them each one. She lit Ian's and her own.
"After the first time, we both had an after-the-fun smoke, but not together. It kind of helped me feel connected. I'd like to continue the tradition. But just one, you understand. We don't need to make it a bad habit."
"A bad habit, like a son doing his mother. What we just did, that could get to be a habit."
"Agreed. I've been thinking about that night. A lot. Wondered if we could recreate it, with you feeling better about it this time. I admit the playing was a little, well, simple and clunky, but we can work on it."
"Rachel, now mom, I suppose you were successful; it was wonderful. It's going to be really hard to top our first two times because they were unexpected and new; tonight was a good start."
They sat and smoked, just watching each other, finished, and went to bed.
2 months later. 9:30 Wednesday night.
Ian was wrapped in Sally's arms, lying on her bed, naked. They were currently in recovery mode, resting between lovemaking sessions. With Ian having a roommate, it was easier to meet up at Sally's one-bedroom place. Ian's phone went off.
"Hi Ketty, what's up?"
"Ian, I really need your help. Are you very busy this weekend?"
"Sally and I don't have any real plans. What do you need help with?"
"I'm going to Mom's with the kids this weekend. I expected Leo to come with me, but he has some kind of work function Friday, so he can't make it. No big deal. My friend Patty just happened to call me tonight; she works in the same department at Leo's office. I asked her if she was stuck at the work event too. She didn't know anything about it. Leo doesn't have a work event; he was lying. I don't know how to deal with this alone. I decided I'll drop the kids at Mom's and come back to town to see what is going on. Can you come up here Friday? If it's just a misunderstanding, you can probably go home that night. If it's bad, I might need someone to be here longer. I want the kids to stay with Mom, in case I get emotional."
"Ketty, that's some tough news. Sure, I'll be there. What time at your house?"
"Let's meet at the Target parking lot. I'll switch cars with Mom, so I'll have hers. I want to see what's going on before he knows I'm in town. I should be back there by 9:00."
"OK, target Friday at 9:00. I'll be there. We'll figure this thing out. Don't worry."
"Thanks, and bye."
"What's going on, honey? Is something wrong with Ketty?"
"She thinks Leo might be cheating on her. She wants me with her Friday to help figure things out. Might end up being there all weekend."
"Crap. I hate cheaters. Yes, you need to be there with her. And if it ends up being bad, do whatever it takes to get her going again. It can be devastating, and I never had kids and marriage to deal with. The couple of times we were around Leo, he seemed OK, I guess you never really know about people. I know how close you and Ketty are. I'm serious, whatever it takes. I really like what I know of her. And she's your best friend; she can't be all bad. I'll be here when you get back."
"OK, whatever it takes."
I met up with Ketty at about 9:00 in the Target parking lot near her house. She parked, locked up Mom's car, and got in the passenger side of mine.
"Ketty, are you sure you want to do this? Some people would say you would be better off not knowing."
"I think you know me better than that. Well, let's go find out."
We first drove past Ketty's apartment building to see if Leo's car was there.
"OK, I don't see his car. I know he was lying about his work event, but he could be out shopping or at a bar. Lots of legitimate places a guy, free from his family for a night, might be. Do you want to drive around and see if we can find him?"
"That's the plan, and I have a best guess to start with. Go back to Main Street and head east. Turn left at the 7-11."
Two blocks up the side street, there was Leo's car. No bars or restaurants nearby, no bowling alleys, no work events. What was nearby was a small apartment building. Ketty just sat there, tears forming. She had suspected it but didn't want to believe it. She reached over and grabbed my right hand, just holding it in both of hers.
"I can't stay here. Let's go somewhere; I want to get drunk. I need to get drunk."
"Ketty, who lives here?"
"Connie McCoy. Well, Connie Hazen now. You remember Connie; you dated her the summer before your senior year in college. Connie. She is, well, used to be a friend."
"Could Leo be visiting her husband?"
"No. Leo met Sam at their wedding, but just briefly. I doubt that they are friends. Sam's a truck driver and spends a lot of time on the road. That's one of the things Connie was complaining about last time I talked to her."
"OK, you know this town. Where do you want to go?"
"Leo and I don't go out much, never to bars. Just drive downtown and find a place with neon beer signs. One is probably as good as another."
I could tell Ketty was struggling to hold it together. I didn't know if being in a public place right now was a good option or not, but it's what she asked for. I went back to Main Street, towards downtown. A few blocks later I pulled into the parking lot of a bar that didn't look too bad, and we went in. It was Friday night, but only 9:30, so the place was only half full. We found a booth near the back. Should I sit across from her, or together, on the same side? I got in first and let Ketty decide; she slid in next to me. Would this be a good time for a hug? Ketty answered that too, pressing me to her, tears running into my chest. I just held her. Whatever just happened to Ketty's marriage, her life, I wanted to fix. Make it all better. That, of course, was wishful thinking. After a few minutes, her sobbing slowed down, and she released me. Eventually a waitress came by, and I ordered two beers for us.
"What was Connie like when you were dating her?"
"She was a little unstable, I guess. She could be a lot of fun, then blow up on some little thing. And she was impulsive. It got to be too much for me, eventually, and we broke up before I went back to school."
"What do I do now? Is my marriage over? Do I want it to be over, or should I give Leo another chance? What if Leo has a valid reason to be at Connie's place?"
Well, there was not much to be decided then and there. Ketty would have to talk to Leo and see where things went. Hear his side of the story. I just sat and listened, adding supporting comments where I could. Eventually she was asking the same questions over and over. No way to answer them in a bar. After 4 beers for Ketty and 2 for me, we decided to go back to her place to await Leo coming home. We didn't see any use in going back to Connie's to confront him there.
The apartment seemed weirdly empty to Ketty. Normally, if she was here, the kids were here too. They would be an emotional support if they were here. Now all she had was me.
"Ian, I used to watch you lie on the couch with Mom. I know you still do. Can you give me that tonight? I really need someone to hold me."
"Sure, baby. Whatever you want."
We both had jeans on. I had a t-shirt, and Ketty had a blouse. Not super comfortable, but that was not the point. I laid down first, with Ketty curled on top of my chest. Ketty and Rachel are the same size, same shape, so it felt comfortable and normal for me. I turned on the TV, not really caring what was on, and just wrapped my arms around her.
I could feel Rachel, me spooning her behind. My arms wrapped around her, one hand cupping a breast. Rachel backed into me. I could feel her ass up against my erection. Lately Mom likes this position; we seem to melt together. The motion is slight, but Rachel has a rhythm starting. We both know where this is going.
"What the hell is going on here!"
In an instant I'm awake. The TV is still on. Ketty is on the couch next to me. Her blouse is halfway unbuttoned, my hand cupping a breast inside. And, thankfully hidden from view now, I'm sporting a very hard erection. Light is coming through the windows. And there is Leo, standing over us.
Ketty just lay in front of me for a few seconds, trying to take stock.
"Ian, can you, please, move your hand?"
I pulled my hand back, and we started to untangle. Ketty stood up and re-buttoned her top. I stood behind her, hiding myself as much as I could. At least we still had our clothes on.
"So, Ian and my wife are doing it in my house. And where are the kids?"
"The kids are at Mom's, and this isn't about me and Ian. Where were you last night? Did your work function last till dawn?"
"Why are you even here, and why is he here?"
"I found out your work function was a lie. I went to Mom's and dropped off the kids, then had Ian meet me back here. I wanted to find out what was going on and needed his support. I was hoping it was something, well, not devastating. We were here last night, waiting for you to get home, and must have fallen asleep."
"Yeah, I see how you sleep. Looked intimate to me. What was that on the couch? Groping my wife? Looked way more like a brother helping a sister. I did always think you two were, well, close."
"Leo, again, where were you last night? And lying about it is only going to make things worse."
Leo seemed to slump into himself. Lying was not going to fix this. Putting blame back on Ketty was not going to work. His anger melted into a realization that this could be the end for him and Ketty, and that was never his intention. It had started off just helping out a lonely friend. Things escalated.
"I can't tell you where I was. I'm not going to destroy two marriages over this. But I saw you two."
Part of me was very angry that someone would cheat on my sister; another part kind of admired that he would take the blame himself and protect the other person. Could he still be an OK guy, who just made a mistake? Well, that was for Ketty and Leo to work out.
"Leo, if I don't get to know who you were with last night, you don't get to know anything about me and Ian. Live with it. Now I want you to get some clothes and find somewhere else to be. And it had better not be wherever you were last night. I have to think about this."
Leo packed a bag and left without saying another word. Ketty seemed to be cried out, at least for now. She was angrier and scared.
"Shit, shit, shit. What am I going to do? Is my marriage over? A single mom with two kids. Now what?"
"The first thing you need to do is not panic. You have two kids to think about. Whatever happens to your marriage, Leo is their father for life. If you think you can forgive him, and you both still want to be together, that's best for the kids."
"I know, but right now I'm just so angry. Can I ever trust Leo again? I need to call Mom and let her know what happened."
"Hi, Mom. Ian is here; I'm putting this on speaker."
"Is it good or bad news?"
"The worst. We found Leo's car across town last night, then went home to wait for him. He didn't come in till just a few minutes ago. He admitted to being with someone. I had him pack some things and get out."
"Honey, I'm so sorry! Well, thank God Ian is there to support you. Did Leo say why he was cheating on you?"
"No, just admitted there was someone, then he left. We didn't get into the whys."
"Did he even say if it was over? Is he done with that woman?"
"Didn't talk about that either. I need to calm down first. Ian already gave me the 'what is best for the kids' speech."
"Yep. Don't burn your bridges just yet. You need some time to cool down and figure things out. I'm going to give you another day to give you a little more time to recover; I'll drop the kids off tomorrow afternoon."
A half hour later, Ketty got a message from Leo. It just said, "I'm sorry." No lies, no feeble excuses. Well, probably a step in the right direction anyway. Ian also called Sally and let her know the situation. As expected, she felt bad for Ketty and the kids and wanted him to support Ketty any way he could.
Later that day, Ian was trying to find a distraction for Ketty. This problem was not going to be resolved today, but at least he could try to get Ketty a little peace. It was a nice May Saturday; Ian took Ketty to a state park about 30 minutes away. A little hike, on a nice day, is never a bad thing. The park trail was an easy walk through a wooded area, breaking out at a lake. The way was wide enough to go side by side; Ketty held Ian's hand as they walked.
"Ian, what do you think? Can I ever trust Leo again? Should I give him another chance?"
"Ketty, as much as I don't like Leo right now, as much as I want to protect you, I don't think you have a choice. There is too much at stake for you, for your marriage, and for your kids. Do you still love him, through all this?"
"I think so. Is it possible to hate someone and love them at the same time? I, well, we need to have a talk to see where this goes. Can you be there with me, for me, when I do?"
"Might be a little awkward, but sure. I can be there. How much time do you need to think beforehand?"
"Can't wait forever. I don't even know where Leo is staying, and he will want to see the kids, and the kids will want to see him. Gets complicated fast. OK, Wednesday evening sounds about right. Part of me wants Leo to stew for a while, anyway. Think about what he did, what he might have lost, or what he has lost. I'll send Leo a message. You can be there for dinner at 6:00?"
"Sure, if you need me, I'll be there. I don't think Sally needs to come; it's kind of a family matter."
As they came up on the lake, there were benches along the shore. Ketty and Ian sat down on one, watching some ducks playing in the water.
"Ian, this morning, right before Leo came home, you were having a dream?"
"Yep. And I apologize for how things looked when he burst in, for groping you. Not very brotherly. Didn't really help your cause at that moment."
"I have, well, kind of a confession to make. I woke up 10 minutes before you. I could feel you on my back, feel your hand start to roam. I heard 'Rachel' once, so I figured you were dreaming. My first thought was amusement that you could confuse me for Mom. Of course we are the same size; you could never confuse me with Sally. Then I realized this was happening to me. I had to stop this. Almost immediately I thought, Screw it. If Leo gets to cheat, why can't I get some revenge? And I was also thinking how great it felt. How protected I was in your arms. And we were dressed; it wasn't like we were about to screw in your sleep. So, I took the enjoyable way out and just let it happen. Now I feel like I used you, in a way."
"No harm done, Ketty. I will say Leo interrupted a very enjoyable dream. And yep, I probably was thinking about Mom at the time."
"Still thinking about Mom that way. I know you and Mom did it last August; you said it was a onetime thing. But then you and Mom are in Hawaii. Was there any "island magic?"
"Ketty, Sally, and I made kind of a pact when we started dating. We don't have to tell each other every detail about what we have done in our lives, what we are currently doing, but we will not lie to a direct question. I want to extend that pact to my whole family. Lying just makes life more complicated, and not in a good way. Be careful what you ask me; you might not like the answer, but it will be the truth."
"I like that pact; it works for me. I'll never lie to you either. I thought Leo and I had that kind of pact, more implied. But I guess not. If we do try to keep our marriage going, that will be part of the agreement. So, Ian, back to Hawaii. Did you and Mom do... more? I'm not going to get mad either way."
"Just will not let it go, will you? If I don't answer, you'll just think we did it anyway. OK. Stop me if it gets to be TMI. In the months after our first 'encounter,' Mom and I played a game of pretending it didn't happen. I didn't know she got raped; she didn't know it was me. It worked as a barrier, keeping us a, mostly, normal mother-son couple. We were still sleeping together, in the same bed, but just sleeping. Holding each other, not even kissing. Which I admit is decidedly not normal, and we both knew it wouldn't take much for things to progress. But it kind of worked, living on the edge. We were getting human contact with someone we loved. Mom took the opportunity in Hawaii for, I guess, payback is the best term. A fantasy for a fantasy. The third night there, after our scuba trip, she led me to a secluded spot off the beach she had scoped out and made love to me, in every sense she could. Remember my fantasy about Summer of 42? Well, there was an older woman, the beach, and the sound of surf. It was tender and beautiful. Afterwards we walked out and had a talk on the beach. The pretending about the first encounter was kind of blown up then, and we didn't know where we went from there. But we didn't make love again on vacation. The next day, at a luau, Mom and I connected with Kevin and Sally. So, our attentions were diverted for the rest of the trip."
"OK, so Mom paid you back; I can deal with that. That's twice. I've seen you with women before; how did you manage to get through to Sally? She seems, well, out of your comfort zone."
"Probably a good way to put it. On the trip we decided to be Ian and Rachel, not mom and son. Just seemed easier, no explanations required. Sally was on our dive boat on the scuba trip. She was watching Mom and me, kind of forming an opinion about our relationship. Older woman and younger man, obviously in love. Later she told me she really liked how I treated Mom; she was even a little jealous. The next night at the luau, there was dancing after all the Hawaiian stuff. At one point I was just sitting, staring at a bonfire, my mind off somewhere else. Sally sat down next to me and introduced herself. We talked about Hawaii and the scuba trip. It was easy to talk to her; I wasn't trying to pick her up, no pressure. And she had come to me. She started asking me about my relationship with Rachel, how tight we were, and whether we were in love, which I thought was a little odd. Eventually she told me her dad had been dancing with Rachel for the last 20 minutes and was worried I would be upset. I let her know Rachel was my mom, and I was thrilled she was with somebody. We ended up dancing most of the night. The next night, at a formal party, Sally was my official date. Later, after the party, Mom and Sally switched rooms for the duration of the vacation. So, it happened quick, with a lot of help from Sally and, as you say, island magic."
"I'm really happy for you and Mom. So now, with Kevin and Sally in the picture, you and Mom can go back to normal. No more mother-son-with-benefits needed."
Ian, thinking.
"Right? Hello?"
"Ketty, let it go."
"Oh my god. You and Mom are still going at it. What about Sally? Are you cheating on her now?"
"Can we please talk about something else?"
"This isn't something I can just let go. How can you justify dating Sally and doing Mom at the same time? This doesn't sound like the Ian I know. World's best nice guy. You are still my best friend in the world. Please, you can tell me."
"So, I'm a nice guy and a cheating asshole. Good combination. First, I was 'with' Mom first. So, in a way, me being with Sally is kind of me cheating on Mom, but of course we don't see it that way. When Sally saw Mom and me together, she was convinced we were in love, like honeymooners. And she was impressed. Later back home, when Sally and I started our new relationship, she had 'a talk' with me. She let me know how she had been hurt in the past with lying assholes, and she needed complete honesty to make this thing work. I agreed with her. Then, an interesting point. She saw my relationship with Mom and did not want to get in the middle of it, whatever it was. We did not need to change it for her; it could be alongside whatever Sally, and I become. She thought it was special and was not jealous or threatened by it. She didn't need to know details. Which is a very enlightened view for a girlfriend to have, I suppose."
"So, implied, a sexual free pass with Mom. Very convenient. Sally was in Hawaii with her father. Those hotel rooms, one bed?"
"Yep, ours was. One bed. Sally and her dad were sleeping together until Mom and I broke them up."
"I'm starting to see the picture a little better now. So, Mom might have her own free pass with Kevin. Did you ask Sally what her relationship was with her dad?"
"Nope. She would have told me, and at this point, I don't need or want to know. I'm certainly not jealous of or threatened by her dad. And no, you don't need to know any more details about Mom and me. I've already said too much. You'll just have to use your imagination."
"My god. You hit the jackpot relationship-wise. Don't screw it up. And, as you already suspect, I'm once again feeling out of the loop with you and Mom."
"Which is one of the many reasons I didn't want to have this conversation. What is it with you dragging my most inner secrets out in the open? Let's just say life has gotten much more complicated this past year for me, in a mostly good way."
And Ketty thought, could it get just a little more complicated for him, in a good way?
They got back to Ketty's place and decided it was time to get ready to go out for dinner. After a few dinner drinks at a little Italian place and a couple more back at Ketty's, they were once again curled up on the couch together, watching a movie. This time Ketty had put the chain on the door; she didn't need Leo breaking in on them again, unlikely as that currently was.
"Ian, did you feel a little crowded on the couch last night?"
"Oh god, I can hear it now. 'Ian, you and Mom get to sleep together in a bed; why can't we'?"
"Well, why can't we?"
"Look, do you really want to go down that road?"
"My marriage may be shattered, my life in shambles. I may seem OK right now, but I'm a mess inside. I really, really need to just hold someone I love right now, and the couch is not doing it for me."
"You sound just like Mom. OK. But put on some proper sleepwear. I don't want to assault my sister in my dreams again."
Ketty went into the bedroom to change. Ian got to his overnight bag and pulled out a pair of athletic shorts to wear for the night. Just boxers would not be appropriate. Ketty ended up with a long cotton nightshirt, reaching down to her knees. Ian suspected, however, that Ketty was braless.
They got in bed together, Ian spooning Ketty from behind. Standard sleep position for him and Mom, but platonic. No more talking; they were talked out. Just reassuring contact. They both fell asleep quickly.
Ian could feel Mom pulling on his shorts. Exposing his erect member. He could feel her on him. Lips parting to take him in. Swirling tongue. Slowly, Ian started coming to his senses, waking up. Shit. That is NOT Mom giving him a blow job now. What is Ketty thinking? Stupid question. Should he stop her? Probably. Does he want to stop her? Probably not. And could he consider this payback for yesterday when Ketty was kind of using his dream for her pleasure? Easier to just pretend to be asleep; accept it. Had to admit Ketty was actually pretty good at the whole blow job thing. Only took a couple more minutes, and she has a mouth full of his cum. It did feel good. A few more seconds of cleanup work, and Ketty moved back beside Ian.
"Well, what did you think?"
OK, the whole pretending to be asleep thing was not going to work. Going to have a real conversation. Think before you say anything. Ketty is vulnerable right now. Shattered, looking for comfort.
"Thanks, baby, that was unexpected. Are you, perhaps, hoping for more?"
"Well, let's say I would not turn it down right now."
"I have to say I was, kind of, expecting something like this. OK, let's see if I have this right. You were fucked over by your husband. You are angry and scared; you need comfort and payback. I'm lying right next to you, readily available. Because of my unusual relationship with Mom and Sally, I'm available, morally. I've already done it with Mom, so I have no problem with incest. Leo already thinks we are doing it anyway. And I'm a nice guy, and I love you, so of course I'll do whatever I can for you. You want to screw me. About, right?"
"Well, I was kind of hoping you would see it that way."
"OK, what about me?"
"Hoping you will be there."
"Ketty, I'm not a sex therapist. I don't fuck people just because they think they want it or need it. We kid about me being a nice guy. As a nice guy, I must be in love and connected with the person I'm making love with. I'm not saying I've never had, call it casual sex. I am saying I can't have casual sex with Mom or with you. I love you too much. It's too important. There are also the long-term consequences. We can't just disappear from each other if things go bad. You just gave me a great blow job, but you didn't ask, and I was not there emotionally. It was you doing me. Not us. Does that make sense?"
"Oh shit. I'm sorry. I thought, well. Did I just violate, my brother? You always said we were best friends. I hope we still are."
"Calm down, I'm not mad. I just need you to understand who I am. And remember, I'm not good at playing relationship games. Try again."
"Try what?"
"Ask me. What do you want? And be direct."
"Oh god. OK, Ian. You are my favorite person in the world, and I love you. Can you give me emotional support and connect with me, make love with me tonight?"
"OK. Just to be sure, it's a terrible idea. It'll make things more complicated with Leo. And Mom, come to think of it. And maybe Sally, but it's a little gray area there. But yes, I love you. I just wanted us to get on the same page and do this together."
Ian removed Ketty's nightshirt and panties. Nude, in the dim light of the bedroom, she looked so much like Mom. Different hair, same body. Ian removed his shorts and boxers. He started exploring Ketty's body. Her breast. A firmer version of Mom's. OK, he's with Ketty now, not Mom. Stop comparing; concentrate on her. Ian's and Ketty's lips met. In the excitement, Ian was quickly erect again.
Ketty's hands moved down to Ian's member so recently on her lips. A little larger than Leo, not that she obsessed about size, but it was a nice bonus. She could feel the pre-cum starting to flow and used it to help her stroke. She was getting wet, more wet. The earlier oral had already gotten her started. They had both anticipated this moment and were already worked up. No games or foreplay. Ian was on his back. Ketty moved into Ian and directed his member to her pussy. Ian was larger, but there was already plenty of natural lubrication. Ketty controlled the speed. The intensity. She held herself up, hands to either side of Ian. No longer kissing but intently looking into each other's eyes. She started slow and easy and had to get used to Ian's size. Speeding up. Because this would be the second climax for Ian that night, he could last longer. Give Ketty every chance to have her release first.
Several minutes later, Ketty tensed up and let out a moan. Back arching. Then she collapsed onto Ian's chest. It felt wonderful. Then Ketty realized Ian was still hard, still inside of her. He hadn't gotten release. She looked up Ian.
"Don't worry, baby. Take a minute and go again. I'll get there, eventually, with your help. You just caught up with me. I'm still right here with you."
Ketty started again. A little faster now, a little more forceful. Eyes still connected, even in the dark.
"Ketty, I'm getting close. Inside you?"
"Yes, baby. Fill me up. I'm almost there too."
This time Ian and Ketty went off together, connected. Then Ketty collapsed on Ian again. Both spent. After a few minutes, Ian had a thought.
"Ketty, I never did ask. Are you on birth control?"
"Well, actually, not at the moment."
Well, that's something that could make life Interesting. Of course, Ketty was married, for the moment. If Ketty did get pregnant, they could always hope or pretend it was Leo's. There was a little part of Ian's mind that liked the thought of having a kid with Ketty. And Ketty planned this; what was she thinking about being pregnant?
"OK. Would have been nice to know, but we'll deal with whatever later."
Next morning.
Ian woke up, Ketty in his arms. No guilt, no regrets. Just someone he loved next to him. They were facing each other, on their sides. Ian just watched Ketty, the peaceful expression on her face. Much better than the fear and anger of the last two days. Eventually Ketty's eyes fluttered, then opened. She smiled back at Ian.
"Morning, baby. Feel better today?"
"I do. No matter what happens, I know I have you backing me up. Last night was wonderful."
"Ketty, I'm not sure what you were thinking, but now is not a good time to get pregnant. With me or Leo. If we do this again, we need to get you on protection. Not that having my baby with you hadn't crossed my mind, but there is way too much to lose right now, for both of us."
"I understand. I don't need to be protected with Leo, so I didn't really think about it. I'll get some rubbers and get back on the pill. So, there might be a next time? Good to know."
"Of course there COULD be a next time; I'm not a one-night stand. I don't want to talk about where we go from here just yet. Too early, too much uncertainty with you and Leo. If you do try to get back together, I don't want to get in the way. We'll see where things go."
Ian and Ketty made breakfast and just lounged around, naked. Neither seemed to want to shower, dress, and break the moment. Ian could finally see Ketty in the light. Mom and Ketty were similar, but now he could see more differences. Ketty's body was a little softer, but her breasts were more erect. And Ketty's hair was the same color but much longer. Ketty was shaved; Mom had a managed tuft. Both are equally attractive to Ian. It would have been weirder if they were more similar, blending in Ian's mind.
Around noon they decided it was time to get on with the day. Mom was scheduled to arrive around 2:00 with the kids. They took a shower together. Starting to get dressed in the bedroom.
"You know, I don't have any protection in the house, but we could still have some fun if you are up for it."
"Mom's not due for 2 hours; I think we have time."
Ian and Ketty got on the bed and kissed for a few minutes. Ian then started down Ketty's body. Past the neck. To her breast. Tongue teasing one nipple, then the other. Then the lips, sucking. Playing. Ian thought he tasted a little milk, left over from Ketty's breast feedings. That was erotic to both. Then Ian reversed his position in bed, his feet pointing at the headboard. Lower still, till his face was level with Ketty's pussy. Ketty was now face to penis with Ian. They attacked each other, each trying to get the other off first. Ketty was taking in as much of Ian as she could. Using her lips as a vagina. Moving in and out, a repeat of last night. Ian, tongue moving, Ketty's outer lips. Her inner lips. Making it to her opening, going in as deep as his tongue would allow. Adding one, then two fingers to the attack. In the end they tied, the best outcome of all. Back in the shower for a second time for a final rinse, then time to get dressed. Ketty went around the apartment, cleaning up, looking for any evidence of last night's activities. Pretty clean, but she did change the sheets. Their condition would be hard to explain.
Rachel arrived around 2, kids in tow. Ketty and the kids spent another 20 minutes reconnecting. Ketty then put on a pot of coffee. Seemed like the thing to have for a conversation she knew was coming.
"OK, so what have you told Leo so far?"
"I called him this morning and told him to be here Wednesday at 7. We would go from there."
"Do you know what you are going to say?"
"At this point I'm leaning towards giving him one more chance. Still working on the conditions."
"What has he told you?"
"Nothing, just that he still loves me. At least he didn't try a bunch of lame excuses or try to blame me."
"Well, shit happens. I never had to go through this with your father, but I did have a boyfriend cheat on me in college. I never gave him a chance; we were through the day I found out. Of course you have a lot more to lose. Ian, you've been here since Friday? Ever the nice guy. Administer aid to the sick and traumatized. Thanks for looking after my favorite daughter."
"Can't say I did that much; I just was here when Ketty needed someone."
"Ketty, Ian let you lie with him, didn't he? Always makes me feel better, comfortable, and protected."
"Yes, Mom, he did. It was wonderful. Just like I always knew it would be."
"Wow. OK. Good luck on Wednesday. Sounds like you have a plan. And Ketty, I know you might want Leo back, whatever the case. Just remember, if he wants to come back, and I'm sure he does, you have him over a barrel. See what you can get out of him before you say yes."
"Those are the conditions I'm working through."
"Good girl. Well, I still have a drive and work tomorrow. If nothing else here, I'm going to head back."
Ian got to Ketty's Wednesday at 6, on time for dinner. They ate and cleaned up quickly, getting ready for Leo's arrival at 7.
"So, have you figured out what you are going to say?"
"Yep, and part of it involves you, so an even better reason for you to be here. Hopefully he agrees with my proposal, and we can get on with life. This being angry stuff is too hard to live with."
Leo arrived on time. It was awkward at first, but the kids were happy to see him; it kind of broke the ice. Half an hour later, the kids were worn out playing with their father and were ready for bed. If Leo was surprised to see Ian there, he didn't say anything.
Sitting around the kitchen table.
"OK Leo, do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Ketty, what I did was wrong, and it will never happen again. This thing was my fault; you never did anything wrong. I truly love you and the kids. I'm hoping you can forgive me, put us back whole. I want you to take me back."
"I don't need to know why you did it. Just know you hurt me. You hurt us. The most terrifying part was wondering if our life was over. My dream husband, dream family. And it's still terrifying that it might happen again. I've thought a lot these past few days. I am willing to try to fix this, but I have a few conditions. Never let me catch you in a lie. I didn't have any problem finding the truth this time. Your relationship with whoever you saw Friday night is over. No friendship, no meeting by accident, no contact. I'm going back on birth control. I don't want to have another baby with you if this is not going to work out, and I'm not sure I even want more children. That's a discussion we can have someday. I don't get to know who you were with. Fair enough, protecting someone else. You were wondering how close Ian, and I are after seeing us together Saturday morning. Ian and I are very close. He was here for the worst 2 days of my life; you were off, somewhere else. I love you, but right now, at this instant, Ian means more to me. You don't get to know how close we are. Never ask about us, never investigate us. Just keep wondering. That's your penance. Whatever relationship we have will continue. You know Ian, what his character is. I'll let you decide what that means. If you decide to come back, I will forgive you but not forget. Most importantly, I want my old life back. I'm not going to put you in the spare bedroom for a while; see how it goes. We will pretend everything is hunky dory for now, like this never happened. Eventually, hopefully, it will be real again."
"Ketty, that's the most I could hope for. Yes, I agree. I'll show you the man I can be, will be. I promise."
"OK. I'll take you back, starting tomorrow. I need one more day to figure things out, think things through.'"
Leo looked over at Ian, just sitting there. Blank expression.
"OK, dinner at 6?'"
"As usual, yes. You can go now."
Leo got up and left.
"Wow. I never want to negotiate with you."
"Well, it's a lot easier when you are the wounded party."
"So now, do WE have a free pass?"
"Well implied, yes. It eases my guilt, well actually. No secrets, no lying. Ian, you are staying tonight?"
"OK, the new normal starts tonight. I wasn't planning on being anywhere else; I'll leave early in the morning. Tonight, will be a kind of celebration, I guess. You get your life back; sometimes everybody wins. I'll see Sally at lunch tomorrow. I think she'll be impressed."
"You just love to make my life complicated. The three most important women, most important people in my life. Every one of them is my best friend. I'm screwing all of them. What does that make me?"
"From my perspective, a good boyfriend, a good son, and, most important, a great brother."
Other works by Igor Pajic
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