Alice in Dragonland

by erotic scribbler

©Copyright 2017 erotic scribbler

A woman seeks help uncovering the meaning of a disturbing dream that could be linked to a childhood trauma. Shocking details come to light.

Chapter 1

The dream

Drink me, I think or was it that pink thing that stinks? Confusion seems an illusion, yet my brain can't come to any conclusion. Did I do something to cause this? I'm feeling tired, or I'm dizzy or dazed. Did I fall and hit my head? For a moment, I'm sure I did slam my head into a tree or a brick wall or on concrete in a fall. Then, like I never thought that at all, I'm distracted by something furry. It gives me a great burst of energy, and I feel like I'm running.

No, wait, wait a minute, I'm on a ride at the fair, or maybe I'm just flying through the air? Shouldn't I care?

Yes, yes, I do care because I have to be somewhere. When, I wonder. “What time is it?” I ask, but nobody answers. “I better go,” I say, but then I wonder where it is I'm supposed to be. I don't even know where I am. “Who are you?”

“I'm the Gypsy...The acid queen...”

It's dark, and one of them barks. I'm afraid, but it's not the black of night that is giving me that fright. It's the thought of arriving someplace that I'm not supposed to be. Why won't my mind show me the place I know I don't want to go? “Shouldn't we have a key?” I ask?

Someone sings, “To tear your soul apart.”

“Stop singing,” I plead.

There is someone here, and now I have a great fear, oh dear. Something is near, I think, isn't that queer? Now I'm not afraid because I'm laughing at my mind for thinking in rhymes. Sensing a grasp, I gasp and ask, "Who are you?"

Bayard replied, "Welcome to my castle," and lit a candle without a flame.

The first thought that came to my brain was the dog isn't supposed to be in the garden. Next, I was perplexed because gardens don't have walls, windows, and ceilings. I turn to the Gypsy, and in the bright light, she gave me a new fright.

I don't know anybody with such a bush of wacky red hair or a top hat that reaches the ceiling. The room is too small, and I'm going to fall. Stop thinking in rhymes I demand of my mind, but that only brings on a fit that shakes my tits. My tits? “Where are my clothes?”

I look for the door but fall to the floor. I'm by a window that's as tall as the wall. Before I can jump, there's a scream which reminds me of a dream. “Is this a dream?” I ask the cat with the black hat. Please be a dream.

---

Cathy Evans pulled a file folder from the cabinet, turned toward the receptionist, and said, “Janis, send my ten o'clock in when she gets here.”

Janis nodded while dialing the phone. Cathy walked into her office and sat in a large leather chair. Once she had her right foot tucked under her left thigh, she opened the folder on the red skirt stretched across her lap.

27 year old, female.

Education: High School. Some college. Incomplete.

States drugs and alcohol, “used liberally," during college contributed to not finishing.

Note: Substance use started in H.S. Currently doesn't drink or use drugs.

Reason for treatment: Reoccurring dream. Wakes up afraid to go back to sleep. Problem started 10 years ago. She thought they would stop eventually, but they seem to be getting worse.

Client has never been treated for mental health issues.

No family history.

No military service.

Does not suffer from depression.

Does not hear voices.

Has never had suicidal thoughts or a desire to hurt herself.

Family Structure intact.

Two siblings, an older sister and an older brother.

Relationships are, “Good, were always good. We all got along great.”

Session notes, July 11, 1985.

Appearance: Medium-length brown hair, fair skin, blue eyes. Cheeks are always rosy.

Disposition: Curious, pedantic, easily flustered, sweet, clumsy.

Clearly disturbed by dreams, but not yet prepared to give details or talk about the subsequent “disturbing” thoughts.

Requested she write down the details as soon as she wakes up, then go back to sleep.

Write every time she wakes up from a dream.

Weekly visits.

Chapter 2

Session notes, July 18, 1985.

Big smile. Eyes are tired looking.

Growing more concerned that the dreams will affect her relationships. Sometimes she wakes up screaming. Has never lived with anyone and worries she won't be able to. Dreams are increasing.

Possible triggers: Seasonal, shorter days, relationship stress?

Claims dream is a bunch of strange, twisted-up events, but she knows it's one continuous dream.

Need more details for analysis.

Admits to being sexually active in high school. First partner in H.S. She was vague. Almost resistant. No name or age given. Withholding or repressing?

Session notes, July 25, 1985.

Big smile, cheeks rosy, but dark rings under eyes.

Dreaming more often.

Details: In water, the woods, a field, and a strange house. Scenes change frequently, but she maintains that it is one continuous dream. Thinks she is a little girl. There is dialog.

Still need more details for analysis. Still unclear if she is withholding or repressing?

Instructed her to continue writing the details as she gets them.

Session notes, August 2, 1985.

Dream: Teacup is empty. Has no idea who the other people are or if they're even people, but they are telling her things. She has a sense that she needs to get someplace or be somewhere important but never finds out where. It's also possible that she is trying to get away from someplace or person.

None of that warrants fear.

She seems reluctant to give all the details.

Possible connection with drug use and dreams?

Admitted being promiscuous in H.S.

In college she had multiple partners at the same time.

Heavy use of alcohol was not always involved. Seems to be trying to prove something or use sex as a coping mechanism.

***The client's disposition is inconsistent with my character profile. Still withholding or repressing details. Need to know the scary part that wakes her up.

Session notes, August 8, 1985.

Dream: Teacup isn't empty. They're not people, but they are talking to her. One of them has the face of a person but the body of an animal. Thinks that's what scares her.

She follows a rabbit through a small hole.

The hole seems too small for an adult.

August 15, 1985

Cathy Evans, Psychologist and Ph.D., sat across from a woman in a blue denim dress with bright yellow daisies on the chest.

“I sense you are leaving something out. Is there a reason you wouldn't want to tell me all of the dream? You trust me, don't you?” Cathy asked. “It's important that you feel like you can tell me anything.”

“You're gonna think I'm crazy."

"No, I'm not going to think that,” Cathy said firmly. “You came here for my help, and I want to help you through this, but I need to know everything to do that.”

"I know. I'm sorry."

“It's okay," Cathy said with an encouraging smile. "Why don't you walk me through the dream from beginning to end. Give me every detail."

"It's a little nuts."

"That's fine," Cathy said. "The meaning of dreams can be very elusive. Your brain is filled with billions of memories. It knows exactly how something felt, smelled, sounded and what you saw, plus the feelings and the thoughts and the emotions experienced. During a dream, two or more events can be twisted together."

"But I wake up thinking-It's bizarre. If anybody-I don't even want to think about it."

"I understand," Cathy lied. "It's important that you feel safe telling me everything."

"I do, Ms. Evans, I do."

"Good," Cathy said and picked up her pen. "Go ahead." The pen scratched on her pad.

"There is a rabbit."

"Is that what scares you?" Cathy asked.

"No, he's funny. The rabbit is always first. Then there's a huge hedge. I go through it. I go through a hole that seems too small to fit."

"Does the hole scare you?"

"No. I think I know I should be afraid, but I go through anyway. Like when you're hitchhiking, you know it's dangerous, but you get in anyway."

“Do you ever have the sensation that you're falling?"

"I might trip and fall. It's not clear. I'm dizzy, I think."

Cathy pushed her glasses up and said, “Keep going.”

Ten minutes later, Cathy reviewed her notes and said, "Alice, do you know what it sounds like?"

"Yes, of course," Alice said. “Alice in Wonderland. You think I'm dreaming about a fairy tale?”

“No,” Cathy said and put both feet on the floor. “Did you read that story when you were little?”

“Of course,” Alice said. “My name is Alice.”

Chapter 3

Cathy leaned forward. “Did the story scare you?”