Nathan was in love with a camgirl.

It’s not what you think.

She was a college girl he randomly found online… and then also found in real life.

It’s not how it sounds.

He’s not one of those creepy guys that can’t tell the difference between flirting and a woman just being nice while doing her job. He didn’t go looking for her, he found her by accident. He didn’t Google her, stalk her, ask invasive questions, or backtrace her IP address. He didn’t use any of his technical skills or connections. It wasn’t intentional.

Nathan didn’t even watch porn very much.

Don’t get him wrong, he was a red-blooded, heterosexual, 31-year-old man with a strong sex drive, and didn’t begrudge himself pleasure. He liked sex the few times he had managed to participate, and he liked women. Liked them as more than sex objects. Beyond being attracted to them, Nathan genuinely enjoyed the company of most women. He had been raised around smart, tough, ambitious women. He had been friends with funny, talented, creative women.

Dating had always been a bit of a minefield, thanks to his family, how he looked growing up, his awkwardness, and how people expected him to behave once he grew into his body, but he had done okay in college. Dated a few young women that were smart and attractive. The relationship ended naturally when personalities didn’t mesh, or in a few cases when they realized sex wasn’t possible. Once he launched his company, he could have done better than okay, but it was always obvious what those women wanted from him.

Although he liked to spend money on people he cared about, Nathan wanted to be loved for more than the size of his bank account, so he didn’t pursue those relationships. He wasn’t interested in being with beautiful women that he didn’t like, and that would end up being one of those trophy relationships for which wealthy men were known. And with his company still growing, he would rather spend his time buried in his computer and didn’t have time or energy for building anything deeper.

Maybe that was why he couldn’t usually get turned on by porn-because his mother raised him to respect women so he couldn’t unsee the rampant exploitation and objectification in traditional porn.

So, when he discovered cam-girls, it became his one secret vice. His small private comfort in a life that could afford much more. He didn’t indulge often; it was rare he needed more than his imagination to jerk off and be satisfied. Camgirls were more real than traditional porn. Less scripted and predictable. Watching them didn’t make him feel creepy and abusive. He could see that they were not being abused and could ensure the money went to them.

The videos and streams he liked had a similar style. They looked voluntary and amateur, so it was unlikely there were several men off-camera directing the young women. The girls seemed happy, healthy, and natural. Their surroundings looked safe and comfortable, usually with low lighting and soft blankets and pillows. They oversaw their pleasure, and it was their choice to give that control to their viewers.

Of course, he didn’t know for sure that any of that was true, but he preferred to think it was.

Even though he was paying to watch them take off their clothes and do very erotic and sexual things to themselves, he tried to be a respectful viewer. He was polite with requests, never asked for anything too outrageous, and his requests were always accompanied by a generous tip whether the girl agreed or not. He was never aggressive in the chats, never inappropriate… well, it was probably inappropriate in a day-to-day sense, asking a girl to do things on camera, but he was never insulting or lewd.

So, when he was struggling with some code on a summer afternoon, his head aching and his brain feeling like oatmeal, he logged into a camgirl website he’d visited sometimes. None of his bookmarks were currently streaming, and none of their previous recordings interested him. He resigned himself to searching for someone who could help him relax, clear his head, and maybe give him some inspiration.

“SunshineSunflower.”

That was her online name. It was a far cry from the “BustyBazine”s and “Wetgirl286”s that populated the website, and it didn’t exactly roll off the tongue or type out easily.

But something about it, and the dim and grainy thumbnail, made him click on her stream.

For a long moment, he looked at the video, watching as a slim, long-limbed girl arranged herself on camera. She was… He scanned the stream to see how long she had been broadcasting… only fifteen minutes in and new at camming. The tension in her wasn’t from the pleasure of an impending orgasm, it was from nerves. Despite already being naked, except for a black lace mask that obscured half her face, her stream only had a few people in it, none of them tipping or interacting.

His nose wrinkled in annoyance. He believed if you are going to watch, you should tip. Even though everyone watching had to buy access to the stream with a few sparkles, the currency of the site, and only worth about 25 cents each, he knew that for girls that were not very popular, without tips they were only earning a few dollars per stream.

So, without hesitation, he dropped a 50$ tip and heard the stream give its usual chime of jingling change before he clicked on her profile link to open it in another window. He winced when he realized this was only her fourth live show.

*Hi, there! I’ve never done this before so I’m not sure if I should try to be tempting and mysterious or sweet and innocent, but I don’t know how to do either of those things, so I hope you will forgive me for being kind of silly and honest.*

Nathan swallowed, already feeling his neck get hot. This was probably a complete fabrication, designed to make viewers more interested in her. He wasn’t naïve enough to think all cam-girls were sweet innocents or all strippers were secretly working on their Ph.D., some probably were, but at the end of the day, they were trying to make money. Even though it didn’t seem to be working on anyone else based on the number of viewers in her stream, it was doing something to him.

*You’ve probably seen this a thousand times, but I’m the cliché college girl trying to pay for some books and have fun doing it. I’m studying to be a data analyst, which is weirdly expensive. Anyway, I hope to see you in my streams soon!*

Nathan blinked. He didn’t know what he was expecting her to study, but data analyst wasn’t it.

He glanced at his second monitor, where she was playing with her breasts.

She was young. He had a hunch that she couldn’t be more than twenty five. He hated that he noticed. He hated that despite the reality intruding on his guilt-free pleasure, he could feel himself becoming aroused by her.

She was beautiful, even thru her subpar camera. Dark brunette hair, soft nipples, her skin golden and gleaming from the mix of low lighting and lotion she was rubbing all over herself.

His cock thumped the underside of his desk, and he knew he wasn’t going to leave her at the mercy of the internet. So he went back to her active window, dragging her stream to his main monitor, and using the built-in menu that the site provided to its performers, began donating and stroking himself while he pretended, she was doing this just for him.

Before SunshineSunflower, Nathan had only visited the cam-girl website once every couple of months. After that first stream, he had resisted checking on her for a week. But then the strange need for her got the better of him, and he checked her schedule for when she would be live.

She didn’t have a schedule.

He wanted to tell her that if she set an online schedule, it would be more likely to get some regulars. But he also wanted to keep her for himself. So, he built a website and coded it to text him a notification if she went live. He liked that he was one of the only people watching her, and he got to control the direction of her shows. He would have had to compete on more popular streams to make his tips direct the action. Not that he minded a little competition, he thrived on it in many parts of his life.

What was once a rare occurrence, became a once-a-week indulgence, making a rule that he could only attend half of her shows. He resisted for another month before he broke down and began attending both her weekly shows. She was becoming a bit of an obsession.

Maybe he was one of those awful guys…

What if she thought his attention was creepy, but because he was the only one consistently attending her shows, the only one consistently tipping and donating, she couldn’t say anything because she needed the money? The thought made him skip one of her streams, and when he paid to watch the recording later, she looked a little bit disappointed, like she was waiting for something.

Maybe it was okay to pretend she liked him, even if they had never spoken beyond him typing requests in chat. They knew nothing about each other, and their only interaction was him sending her money while asking her to look over her shoulder at the camera, or if she would mind licking her fingers and playing with her nipple, or if could she wear red next stream. Maybe just this once, Nathan Markham could imagine she was his, and lose himself in the casual dominance of the situation. Lose himself in a woman without worrying about hurting or impressing her, or any other shit that went along with his real life.

That’s what he told himself for 5 and a half months.

His world was ruined that fall. October. He usually worked from home. After all, it was his company, and it was all online anyway. But in the middle of October, he had a meeting with some of his team to go over next year's goals, changes, and the overall vision of expanding to different markets. He stopped at a coffee shop because he hated office brew. It wasn’t so much the quality, but the fact that most pots cooked the grounds too hot and made it bitter instead of rich and robust. And then it sat on a hot plate turning into coffee sludge. That would turn even excellent grounds into terrible coffee.

He was regretting the stop as he waited for his drink, scrolling through emails on his phone. The shop was full of college students since the campus was only a few blocks away, smelled like burnt nutmeg, and was already playing Christmas music. Christmas music in October. What kind of monsters did that? He had just taken a swallow of his coffee, large, black when she walked in.

He promptly choked, hot coffee spraying out of his mouth, snorting into his sinuses, and dripping onto his shirt.

He had never seen the top half of her face until now, and yet he knew it was her. He knew the tilt of her mouth as she smiled at one of the baristas and slid an apron around her waist. The line of her neck was intimately familiar to him, and the curve of her waist as the apron strings cinched tight.

She spoke. She had a British accent. A cute accent with a feminine and husky voice, and he could feel his lungs trying to throw themselves up his throat and out of his body, while his cock tried to punch out of his slacks to get to her. All these months watching her stream and she had never spoken on camera. It was only moaning and panting and occasionally typing out responses and nodding.

Luckily, she didn’t notice him and his body’s attempt to betray him. The people around him on the other hand were horrified and inching away as he tried to subtly use napkins to mop up the coffee mess, he had made on himself and the long bar-style table.

He went to his meeting in a daze and promised he would never return to that coffee shop.

Nathan broke that promise in under a week. By the beginning of November, he had a regular table and spent time there a few afternoons a week, coding and testing while drinking way too much coffee.

Nathan did not want to be that guy, but he had no idea how to stop.

Kelly was hungry, but she hardly noticed it anymore. She couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t hungry. This was it. After this, she was never doing this again. Camming was supposed to be an easy way for girls to make money. Kelly was cute, lacking in the breast department, but she was slim and considered fairly attractive. Yet somehow, she had only made thirteen dollars and forty-eight cents in four hours. She would do better picking up shifts at a bar. She was already working herself to death; a full course load, a job at the coffee shop, and a job in the library didn’t leave her with very many spare hours to get a third job. After tuition and rent and books and her computer, she didn’t have much left to live on. Anything. She didn’t have anything left.

Not even her pride at this point. She had resorted to camming because she could fit in an hour or two a week, didn’t have to leave her home, and it seemed safer than stripping. Plus, she couldn’t dance. It was supposed to be easy money. She didn’t need much, she just wanted to be able to eat every day, even if it was the cheapest food possible.

Seemed she couldn’t cam either.

So, after this stream, she was done. Only 3 people were watching anyway, men and none of them were chipping in. She should probably just call it now.

*Ching*

The strange noise got her attention. She glanced at the stream details and had to keep her eyes from bugging out of her head. Fifty Dollars? Someone tipped FIFTY DOLLARS! Sucking her lip between her teeth, she held back tears of joy. Fifty dollars meant she could buy enough food to last her through the month, maybe even into the next. A mental list and a running tab started in her head: a 24-case of ramen for 15$, 2 jars of peanut butter for 2.50 each- No, she had to focus, she was still streaming.

Her eyes flicked to the list of viewers. BigDicDav3, no. MrGuy3827332, no. NathRoth…

It was him, whoever he was. She would have to investigate after the stream was over. She didn’t have enough experience to check out his profile while also… while… Kelly didn’t know what to call it. Was it still masturbation if you were doing it on camera for other people?

She finished the stream, still not quite getting the timing right, too nervous, and not quite able to get turned on for a keyboard. She knew she was supposed to stretch it out and tease more to get more tips, but it seemed like she would need more practice. At least she didn’t have to worry about food for the next few months.

237.75$

Two hundred and thirty-seven dollars. After the initial fifty, he had tipped in five and ten-dollar increments, and she tried to keep doing the things he seemed to like. After a small orgasm that she played up a bit, it had been unsatisfying because she couldn’t relax, he put in a final hundred as she ended the show. Kelly hadn’t had that much money in her bank account after paying for rent since… well, she couldn’t remember a time she had that kind of money.

She had to make this last, there was no telling when or if she would ever get another viewer like that. Speaking of- She clicked on his profile, grateful she had chosen the Lady Lust website to attempt camming. It had a lot of features that kept female performers safe, such as profiles on the viewers, with stats and information the performers could use to decide if they wanted a certain viewer to have access. She could see all kinds of information about his on-site behavior.

NathRoth, and he had a little gold star next to his name. When she clicked on it, a popup appeared showing that he was a gold-level member, which meant he tipped on an average of 200 a month. Kelly blinked. He had blown his monthly budget on her. It was only the 7th. She shrugged, deciding it was none of her business how he spent his money, she was just glad she had his money now. She wouldn’t waste it.

Clicking around his profile she found a few more stats about how long he had been a member, how active he was (it looked like he wasn’t active all the time, which made the math on the averages make more sense), and the part that interested her- he didn’t have any warnings, strikes, or blocks.

One of Kelly’s favorite features was the way performers could rate viewers’ behavior, like how uber drivers could rate their passengers, but… for sex videos. If Kelly ever blocked someone, not only would they be unable to see or attend her shows, but if they tried to go to her profile page it would say the user (her) had been deleted. It was intended to protect the performer, so the viewer didn’t know they had been blocked and attempted retaliation or harassment. Warnings and strikes were a site-level punishment, if a viewer had too many, they would be unable to send chat messages or have a time out from the website. If the behavior continued their IP address would be permanently banned. Kelly didn’t know of any other porn site that protected their performers that way.

It wasn’t until the next day that she realized he had sent her a message. Her teeth gritted and she squinted her eyes, trying to spare herself if it was a dick pic. It wasn’t.

*Hello. You are beautiful but improving your stream quality would benefit you. You should make a wishlist and add this webcam and ring light, and anything else you want or need for streams. It helps engagement if you use something a viewer bought. Make sure you click the option to hide your address.*

There was a link to the webcam and ring light, as well as another fifty-dollar tip.

Suddenly it made sense. He must be another performer; it was the only thing that made sense. She smiled, followed his advice, and happily planned her grocery trip. Kelly thought she had it all figured out.

Her mind shifted to more important things. How much is a sack of potatoes lately?

Until she didn’t have it figured out. If he was just another performer who was trying to help out a newbie, why did he keep coming back?

*Can you turn over?*

5$

If he was a performer, why did he have a user account?

*Open your mouth just a bit?*

10$

If he was a performer, how could he afford to drop five or six hundred dollars on her each week?

*We can’t hear you, tip back towards the camera*

10$

He had found her wishlist within a day of her posting it, and 3 days later a package arrived.

*Your new camera and lighting are much better. You look beautiful.*

50$

He gave her money just for existing it seemed. Every time he commented, even if it wasn’t an instruction or request, he tipped her.

*The black lace suits you*

5$

*Did you paint your nails? It looks nice*

5$

*I like the clip in your hair.*

5$

Then there were the little gifts, most of them nonsexual.

One day he noticed the books on her nightstand. Yeah, thanks to him, not only could she afford food and a little nest egg in case he vanished, but she also bought a nightstand. It was second-hand from the thrift store, but still... Kelly was getting fancy thanks to him spoiling her.

*If you like that book, you might like Junipers of Grace*

5$

Two days later, not only did the book he mentioned arrive, but also the next 3 books in the series from the one on her nightstand. And he was right, she did like it.

After a few months of that, after he had given her nearly ten thousand dollars, and in the process boosted his ranking to a platinum VIP exclusive member, he sent her a private message that, for the first time, made her wish she could talk to her friends about the situation. She didn’t know what to do.

*I completely understand if you don’t want to answer this question, and no matter how you answer, it will not change my behavior. There is something I would like to request of you, and you need to be 21 or older. You don’t have to tell me your exact age, but are you over 21?*