Chapter 1

“When was the change in orbit noticed?” I asked.

“Noticed? Last week. The ICE Explorer rendezvous heading was badly off course. When it actually happened was sometime around three to four weeks ago. It took the guidance computer and ground stations a while to figure out the satellite hadn’t changed course, the comet had.”

“Give me a moment, Bob.” I closed my eyes and concentrated. I still didn’t detect anything. “Okay, this has to be totally on the AI, because his shivalingam aren’t any more active now than they were. Which means what?”

“It means the AI found out all it needed to learn in the initial meteor shower. I’m going to make a guess, but the information gathered from the probes in the Eta Aquarids told it Irhaal had succeeded in her plan to have someone ready, and maybe even capable. You know, I hesitate to guess, but if the damned thing was somehow or other monitoring our television or radio signals, it may have seen something about the Messenger, and then him leaving, and that made it decide to act. The problem is, we’re entering the Orionids now, so our plan to keep ... certain things secret is still applicable.”

Sighing, I said, “Well, fuck. Let’s try to keep this as much under wraps as possible for now. I’ll contact Walter, because this definitely qualifies as one of those bad things that comes under both our job descriptions. See if you can politely - or impolitely, I don’t really care - persuade a couple of the larger planetary bound telescopes to get us more data, so you can refine it and let us know.”

He snorted. “I’m a bit too old for anyone to reactivate my commission, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like I’m back trying to do research to help with the war.”

“That’s exactly what you’re doing, Bob. Thanks for letting me know. You’ve got my authorization to spend whatever you need from the Federation budget. And Bob ... thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, how are things in Mexico?”

We spent a couple minutes talking about that, then said our good-byes and hung up. I had locked my thoughts off when he first started talking to me. I looked at the television screens where Mycroft and Pahto were sitting. I could tell from their expressions they’d been listening in.

I took a moment to compose myself. “Eve, it was brought to my attention that when you and I register for classes tomorrow, we both have to register for an undergraduate class. I have to sign up for 138V, which is Varsity Football. You’ll have to sign up for 136V, Varsity Basketball. Your practices will start tomorrow, sometime after registration, is what I’ve been told. Congratulations on making the team, by the way.”

I sighed. “I bring that up, because I think Dora’s cousin, Virginia, is going to be learning some more secrets. I believe you said that the Arc Jet should be able to melt the metal from my ship and from the container that carried the water lorquats here. Let’s make sure we don’t get rid of something we might need later. Like, being able to hook up the engine from their spacecraft and send it on a collision course with Shiva’s ship. It appears the AI made a decision a few weeks ago, and is now headed this way.”

“I thought it was coming this way anyway,” Jennifer said.

“Orbital mechanics comes into play here. The orbit of Halley’s Comet is pretty well fixed. Yes, it crosses Earth’s orbit. Sometimes it gets pretty close, even. That’s why Earth flew through the tail of it back when Hugo was conceived. The Comet itself had crossed our path already. For simplicity, think of two sets of train tracks. Earth is on a circular - well, close enough for imagination’s sake - set of tracks at a fixed distance from the Sun. Halley’s Comet is on an elliptical set of tracks, and while it’s been coming back every seventy-five years, the difference in speeds means that sometimes the Earth is near it, and sometimes it’s pretty damned far away. It’s ninety-three million miles from the Earth to the Sun, for example. The way things work, the Comet is supposed to pass Earth by thirty-nine million miles on this trip.”

“I don’t like the way you said ‘supposed to pass,’ Cal. Doesn’t it have to do that?”

I sighed. “Orbital mechanics says it does. That’s simply a further application of Newton’s First Law, anyway. Of course, his second law gives us force divided by mass equals acceleration, too. How do you change a fixed train track? You put in a turnout, then throw the switch. It doesn’t have to be a very big change. You’re hitting a ball straight down the fairway, straight up and down three hundred yards in a nice arc, if you hit it just a teeny bit off, only off one degree, three hundred yards later, that ball lands sixteen feet from where you wanted it to. The Shiva AI has used something to modify the orbit. Instead of a few seconds, like a golf ball, it has a few months for that change to affect it. Spacecraft use that theory all the time. A little nudge here can have a huge result when you reach your destination. I’ve been guilty ... well, I think we all have ... of thinking of Halley’s Comet as being just a natural comet, and forgetting there’s an interstellar spaceship in the middle of the damned thing.”

My wives nodded at my explanation. Jennifer then asked, “Okay, you’re right. I can even visualize what you mean, because I do just that when I’m driving or hitting my irons; I use the precise control I now have to hit my shots. But what does this mean for us?”

“Not just us. The whole planet. The spacecraft will now cross Earth’s orbit thirty-nine million miles ahead of where it was supposed to. We’ll get better data as they spend more time being able to follow the changes, and being able to refine the numbers. But as of right now, we’ve got two trains on a collision course,” I replied.

Carrie frowned. “I’ve already contacted Cally, so she and Karen will be over shortly. But that doesn’t make a lot of sense. When the sisters were alive, they could all fly in space. So could Shiva. None of them ever flew beyond the moon, but that wasn’t a problem.”

“That may be it,” Eve said. “Perihelion - the closest it gets to the Sun - is about fifty-four million miles, and without speeding up, it’ll be going about a hundred twenty-two thousand miles an hour. We know we can be millions of miles away from Earth without any problems. Shiva doesn’t, and thus, neither does the AI. It’s trying to maneuver the Comet so he’ll only have a short jaunt to get here.”

“Shit!” Beth cursed. “That means we can’t get our shivalingam back in November, and the three of us need to make sure we keep our personal ones locked down from sharing information with all the rest.”

My eyes went wide. “Mycroft! Not just theirs! Lock them all down, now!”

“On it!” he replied.

“What’s going on?” Margie asked.

“Mycroft’s faster with them than I am. He can control the ones that Hugo has, and that also means I’m going for a trip tonight, to get the seven we don’t have and to get them under our physical control, not just mental.”

“Okay, but why?” she reiterated.

“Because just as Cal can tell what’s going on with all the shivalingam here, and on Shiva’s craft, Shiva would be able to do the same if it activated those shivalingam onboard. That’s how it knew what Irhaal was planning, and worked around it,” Beth replied.

“What was my former self planning?” Karen asked as she, Cally and Mike walked in.

“She used her shivalingam to spy on Shiva, but he did the same with hers. We need all of our shivalingam locked down, to prevent data transmissions, from now until the comet actually gets here. That means we can’t have thirteen of them even after the danger from the Orionids passes,” Beth said.

“Why?” Karen asked.

“Oh, because there’s about two hundred forty-three billion tons of rock on what currently appears to be a collision course with Earth,” I said. “Fucker started changing the course of the comet gradually a few weeks ago, so it won’t pass thirty-nine million miles from here in mid-April. It’s going to be a lot closer.”

“Well, that sucks,” Mike calmly said. “How bad would it be if it hit?”

Eve shook her head. “Based upon some new theories, the crater from the rock that hit Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs is about a hundred ten miles in diameter. Considering what we know of the size of Halley’s Comet, it’d be a little worse, probably making a crater about a hundred forty miles in diameter. About a hundred fourteen million megatons of explosion.”

Pahto said, “I have records of something along those lines naturally happening twice, and older records of massive kinetic energy weapons being used in warfare. Nothing that large, but certainly craters three to four miles in diameter, with energy equivalents of five to six hundred megatons.”

“What happened to the planets where it happened naturally?” Mike quietly asked.

“One was considerably smaller than Earth is, and it simply shattered. The other was a bit larger, and suffered complete destruction of the existing ecosystem. That happened slightly more than three million years ago; the planet was expected to recover sometime in the next two million years.”

“And that’s what we think killed all the dinosaurs sixty some odd million years ago,” Eve said. “So I think having some damned good data to confirm that’s not going to happen next Spring is a good idea.”

One of the features of my watch was that it had an alarm built in. That went off, causing me to glance down at it.

“Okay, brain trust! Not a lot we can do about it now, unless I fly out there and try to fight him. I’ll do that, if that’s what you come up with. Otherwise ... discuss it. I have a press conference to attend.”

Mike actually blinked, shaking his head. “Who are you, and what did you do with my overly angst ridden Cal?”

“You can either fret and worry about it until you’re sick; or you can live your life and when the time comes, deal with the situation, consider that time an incredibly lousy time, and then put it all behind you,” I said.

His eyes widened. “You’re learning from us, too! That was Chuck’s philosophy once he adjusted to being in the jungle. Live life normally, and don’t worry about the next mission until you’re on the next mission.”

“We’ll call Walter,” Diana said. “This is something that’s going to have to be handled very delicately, to avoid global panic. As reassuring as you can be for us, you’re not what a lot of people would call an elder statesman, able to project calm.”

I quickly gave those of my wives that were present kisses, doing the same for all of my children except Toby, who bowed out of that group, and went to the stadium to find out the repercussions from yesterday.

Our press conference was in a larger room than the preseason one, but the whole team was in attendance, as well as twice as many members of the press. I was one of the last to arrive, and took my place at the head table, between John Paye and Coach Elway. Mister Geiger waited another five minutes for the last couple members of our team to arrive, then nodded.

He stood up, then moved to the podium.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the media, and welcome to Leland Stanford Junior University. I’m Fred Geiger, Director of Athletics. At the front table, from my left to right, are: John Paye, quarterback; Cal Lewis, quarterback; Jack Elway, Head Coach; Terry Goodman, Pac-10 NCAA Representative. On the other side are Donald Kennedy, President of Stanford; Pat Dillon, Head Trustee; Sonny Lubick, Assistant Coach, and Dick Mannini, Assistant Coach. I’m going to read a statement, and then Mister Goodman will have one as well. After that, we’ll throw it open to questions from legitimate members of the press.”

I noticed Ray Ratto wasn’t present.

“During yesterday’s pregame activities, the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band and the Stanford Cardinal football team coordinated in an activity which resulted in the ejection of Coach Elway prior to kickoff. The administration of the university and the athletics department does not condone such actions. Camaraderie and team building activities do not actually violate university policies if performed at an appropriate time and place. Less than sixty minutes prior to the kickoff is neither. We are officially placing the band and football team on notice that we will not tolerate further violations of this policy, and there will be severe repercussions if it ever happens again.”

He smiled, then shrugged. “A couple of you look disappointed. Keep in mind, we’re Stanford! We didn’t blow up their stadium, we just poked fun at them using something that’s current and brand new; a video game. These are college students, not priests! Lighten up, Francis! And on that note, here’s Terry Goodman.”

Geiger sat down to applause from the entire football team, while Goodman took his place at the podium.

“Thank you, Mister Geiger. I met the team and band when they arrived back on campus this morning. I’ll repeat now what I said then. The NCAA is officially shocked and appalled at the behavior of the Stanford Cardinal football team and the Leland Stanford University Marching Band. It is considered a Level III Breach of Conduct, and will remain on file for the remainder of this school year. Any further unsportsmanlike conduct by any Stanford team will take this event into consideration when being considered by the NCAA. For this particular event, at this time the penalty imposed by the referee, the disqualification and ejection of Coach Elway, is considered sufficient punishment. College humor has an appropriate time and place; this was neither. At this time, the NCAA considers the matter closed, presuming there is no further misbehavior that requires us to reconsider this matter. Now, I’ll throw this open to questions from the audience. Mister Walker?”

“Thank you, Mister Goodman. Wayne Walker, KPIX 5. Is the NCAA aware at this time of the actual audience for the game yesterday?”

“Not specifically, no. We’re quite aware of how large the audience was for the Cardinal game last week, at something like seven hundred million around the world.”

Apparently, a lot of the other reporters in the room hadn’t been aware of that fact. Wayne followed up. “That’s correct. This week, even though Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip weren’t in the stands, the worldwide audience numbers went up. We’re showing there were seven hundred twenty-five million people around the world that watched the Cardinal game, including the pregame festivities, as we were already broadcasting them. My question is, did the NCAA take into account the popularity of the Cardinal football team around the world when determining this punishment?”

“Actually, no. In the discussions I had with NCAA headquarters ... well, let’s face it. Stanford has a reputation regarding stunts. It’s not necessarily a good reputation, either. At the same time, we realize that student athletes are going to pull pranks. Stanford isn’t the only university that does so. Quite frankly, the only reason we got involved in this one, is that it happened so close to game time. The jurisdiction of the officials begins sixty minutes before scheduled kickoff and ends when the referee declares the score as final. Therefore, the referee had to take official notice. There is no disagreement that this was not a Section Two, Article One, Section a, paragraph one, subsection b and c violation. There’s normally a fifteen yard penalty from whatever succeeding spot the ball is to be placed at, but as kickoff had not actually occurred yet, the referee simply chose to consider the disqualification and ejection of Coach Elway as enough punishment. Yes, Jule?”

“Jule Campbell, Sports Illustrated. Two questions. Under NCAA rules, the field must be clearly and appropriately marked. We all realize that outdoor football fields can’t be perfectly flat, simply due to the requirement for water drainage. On a natural surface, having the very center of the field being about ten inches higher than the sidelines is standard. On artificial surfaces, though, the standard is five inches. The center crown at Autzen Stadium is more than fourteen inches higher than the sidelines, even though it’s artificial turf. Does the NCAA plan any rules regarding the actual field of play, and not just the size of it?”

“That’s an interesting question, Jule, that has come up in the past, and will probably come up in the future. We’ve discussed it more than once, but with the variety of locations where colleges are located, the actual composition of the field of play is more dictated by the local climate than anything else. Keep in mind that Autzen Stadium originally had a natural surface, and the weather there really pretty much meant their field was destroyed at the end of every season. I’ll admit they didn’t change the drainage slope when they switched to artificial turf, but at that time, it was still new for colleges to even consider using artificial turf. Currently, so long as the field is in playable condition and is marked according to our rules, we have no other requirements.”

“Thank you. My second question is for King Lewis. Your Majesty, do you feel that it was a deliberate slight by the Oregon Band to not play your national anthem prior to kickoff?”

I had a slight smile as I shook my head. “Let’s keep this informal unless we really need to, Jule. Especially since Bruce is here today, as are others who report to a broader outlet than regular American press. So I’ll just go by Cal. Or...” I paused, my grin getting wider, “ ... the magnificent and totally modest Stanford Quarterback.”

That got the laugh from everyone I had hoped it would, because I could tell things were a little tense.

“Okay, in all seriousness, it actually doesn’t bother me, one way or the other. I wasn’t expecting it at our first game, but I did appreciate the touch. With Her Majesty the Queen of England in the audience, playing ‘God Save the Queen’ was appropriate. While I am royalty and a King, I’m also a participant in the activities. Let’s face it, I was holding a rubber chicken in my hand just like the rest of our team. Now, if you really want to do some investigative journalism, find out why our band already had rubber chickens in their trailer, when we didn’t come up with the idea for this prank until literally just before we came out of the locker room. It’s almost enough to make you wonder about them at times.”

“It is at that. Thank you, Cal.”

“Bill Dwyre, LA Times. Coach Elway, you must be proud of the job your assistant coaches did in running the offense when you were ejected. How long have they been practicing with the team, to be able to do that?”

A smile on his face, Coach Elway said, “We started organized practice two months before the start of our first game, as per NCAA rules. We had no organized practices before that, as we discussed at a previous press conference. That was also the first day any of our players, or for that matter, any of my assistants, saw this years’ playbook in full. I’d worked with Tony, Sonny, Otto, and Dave in designing some of the plays, but they hadn’t seen the whole thing until our first day of practice. However, you’re also wrong in who I’m proud of, for running our offense while I was absent. The Cardinal offense was completely run by our four quarterbacks.”

Dwyre looked puzzled. “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

Elway glanced over at John and me. I tapped John’s foot to answer.

John stood up. “Mister Dwyre, when Coach Elway was ejected, Cal had us huddle up as a team. He told us to be on our best behavior, no celebrations when we scored or made big plays, just hand the ball over to the referees because we have the expectation that we will do that. What I don’t think anyone realized after last week, when each of us was in for an entire quarter, is that all four of us called our own plays. Coach Elway didn’t tell us what to do, other than to win the game. It’s our job as quarterback to do that. San Jose State was, nothing against them, an easy win. Oregon was different, so we had Fred and Greg watching in case any substitutions were needed, and they’d send them onto the field, once we started taking more than one play to score. At halftime, Coach Mannini told the defense he wanted Cal out of the game, and me in, so it was up to them to stop Oregon. Coach Lubick told the offense that if the defense couldn’t figure out how to stop Oregon, we were just going to blow their doors off every single play. It took our defense a little while to figure things out, so Fred and Greg were still running substitutes in and out for us for most of the second half, even when I was under center.”

His brow furrowed, Dwyre asked, “Coach Mannini, why did you want Cal out of the game?”

Mannini laughed. “That’s our goal, every single game, Mister Dwyre. How quickly can we get Cal out of the game? Once we’ve done that, then we know we’ve got the game won, and we can let John, Fred, or Greg get some playing time.”

“Bob Espinosa, San Francisco Chronicle. Mister Paye, you’re telling us that you and Mister Lewis were calling all of your own plays? You weren’t getting anything called in from the sidelines?”

“That’s correct, Mister Espinosa. Coach Elway told us, from the first day of practice, that Cal and I would be calling our own plays, and as Fred and Greg gained more experience, he potentially would allow them to do so as well. There’s no mercy rule in college football like there is in high school football. At the same time, there’s no reason to completely embarrass your opponent. I admit at halftime I told Cal to keep kicking their butts, because it was fun watching them try to figure out how we’re calling our plays without even bothering to check the sidelines. We just don’t need it.”

“Todd McKim, sports director of KVAL 13, from Eugene, Oregon. You’re telling us that Coach Elway is allowing a freshman quarterback to run his offense?”

Elway chuckled a little. “Todd, apparently you didn’t see footage of a previous news conference we held. We don’t have any freshmen on our team. Doctor California Lewis is a postgraduate student at Stanford, as well as the Spatial Defense Minister for the Federation of Terran Nations. You’re confusing his youth - he is, after all, now just seventeen years old - with his ability and intellect. I think when Presidents Mondale and Reagan came to visit him - and then came to one of our practices because of him - that we don’t even think about him that way at all. I do apologize to the Ducks and their fans about our incident, and take full responsibility because I knew they were going to do something and I didn’t take steps to stop it.”

I said, “Keep in mind we are Stanford, after all. You can’t tell me that no one at Oregon made any connection between the Nintendo video game and your team mascot before us. However, I have talked to our Dollies as coordination with our band and they promise to behave during our games. Or else, actually. Having said that, under official NCAA rules, things that happen more than sixty minutes prior to the start of a game are not subject to the jurisdiction of the referees. Certainly no one has mentioned doing anything that the Texas Longhorns might object to, such as a calf roping contest, at least so far. Heck, they might even enjoy participating in that. Then, if they don’t have to leave so soon after the game, we could even have a cow and pig roast, to show no hard feelings after we beat them.”

McKim snorted. “You sound awfully arrogant about that, considering you’ve only played one season of high school football.”

I smiled back. “Mister McKim, if you haven’t done so, go ask Chris Miller what he and I talked about at midfield after the game. He thought I’d made an arrogant comment. I told him that arrogance means you think you can do the job. Confidence means you know you can do the job. I know the Stanford Cardinal is the best NCAA Division I-A football team this year. That’s not arrogance talking, that’s knowing that with John, Fred, Greg, and me as quarterbacks, Coach Elway as head coach, and the rest of those guys sitting behind you to help make the plays, no matter what someone else’s opinion is, at the end of the season, we’ll have proven we knew what we were talking about. There’s a reason we’re the highest ranking academic university in the nation, ahead of Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. We really are the best. Note that I’m not saying that MIT, CIT or Rose-Hulman might not be better engineering schools. They probably are, because that’s what they specialize in. That’s fine. Arrogance or confidence? What do you think?”

“You sure you’re only seventeen years old?” McKim asked in disbelief.

Everyone at our table laughed. “Don’t worry, Mister McKim,” President Kennedy said. “I effectively asked the same question last year when Mister Lewis said he planned to attend Stanford. Damn, that wasn’t even a full year ago!” He snorted, then continued.

“Not a lot of incoming students find errors on the MCAT, either. Mister Lewis found one. A reason that Mister Dillon and I pay very close attention to anything that Mister Lewis does is not because we’re concerned it’s going to reflect poorly upon Stanford. On the contrary, we’ve now received more applications from international students seeking admission to our university than ever before. I spoke with President Fullerton of San Jose State on Friday. Gail told me the admissions department there is busier than ever, and she expects at least a fifteen percent increase for their spring semester. I want to talk to President Olum this Friday. If Paul doesn’t see an increase in interest, I’d be very surprised.”

McKim shook his head. “Why?”

“Bruce Wilson, Melbourne Herald. Normally someone in the press doesn’t answer the question of someone else in the press, but this one is easy. Your American football games, and thus the commercials for your American colleges, have now each been seen by more than seven hundred million people around the world. Live. That means people in New Delhi were up at midnight to watch the game. People in Tokyo were awake at four on Sunday morning. In Melbourne, it was five on Sunday morning. In Riyadh, it was ten on Saturday night. They didn’t care. I wondered if the audience would go down for the game yesterday, without Her Majesty in attendance. It didn’t, it went up! The world is watching the Stanford Cardinal, Mister McKim, and it’s watching the schools they play. You Americans ... nothing personal, Your Majesty... do tend to be arrogant when viewed by the rest of the world. His Majesty, King Lewis, is showing the rest of the world how confidence and ability can and will overcome arrogance. Wayne, my friend, do you have the final numbers from both our interview with His Majesty and last weeks’ game?”

Wayne stood up. “The preseason interview that you, Jule, and I had with Cal has been rebroadcast on television stations in sixty-seven countries, with an estimated viewing audience of one point two billion people. The final numbers, with delayed and repeat broadcasts, put the total audience for the Cardinal-Spartan game at one point six billion. That’s an estimate, as many countries where the game was viewed don’t have individual television sets. For example, in many parts of Africa, India, and Pakistan, people gathered at local schools, with crowds of three or four hundred people, all watching one television.”

“I’ll have to see what we can do about that,” I said. “I know we’re getting affordable electricity to places around the world that’ve never had it before, but I hadn’t considered some of the other things that go with it. I know Pakistan and India will gain additional trade due to my Punjab factories; I’ll talk to the Federation representatives for Africa to make sure that those nations that are part of the Federation get appropriate assistance in becoming economically more stable. We’re a little busy right now, with all the CEDEM Emergency Rescue Teams from North and South America, along with some of my military forces and heavy equipment, working in Mexico to assist with the rescue and recovery operations from their devastating earthquake.”

I paused, then shook my head. “Sorry about that. This isn’t a press conference about that, it’s about our football team.”

Goodman shook his head. “I don’t think we have to worry about that. You just showed these members of the press and the entire NCAA that you’re upholding the finest traditions of what we would hope our student-athletes will do and have when they finish college with your concern for and fair treatment of your fellow human beings.”

I don’t think the NCAA rep was supposed to lead a round of applause that turned into a standing ovation. I know my face was almost as red as our jerseys at the end of it.

Once everyone sat back down, another reporter stood up. “Billy Loomis, The Sporting News. I was at the game yesterday and ran into some people I know that are NFL team owners. They mentioned that they are business partners with Mister Lewis. I’m legitimately curious as to how Mister Lewis can maintain his amateur standing when he’s working with professionals?”

Goodman stood up. “That’s actually a good question, and one we at the NCAA have had to discuss ourselves. There’s actually no conflict of interest or violation of our rules regarding amateur athletes earning income. Allow me to explain. First, Mister Lewis has specifically made sure that he complied with NCAA Bylaw 12.1.2, regarding not taking any pay for playing any sport, specifically when he won a golf tournament that was sponsored by his former security team. None of our financial aid bylaws come into play, as he rather obviously doesn’t need financial aid. Even though his business is planning on building a casino and theme park in Las Vegas, that doesn’t violate NCAA Bylaw 10.3 regarding ethical behavior, because he’s not gambling.”

He looked at me. “Oh, yes, I had a very long phone call with Margie about that. How’d she phrase it? Ah, yes. You come up with all of these ideas that simply sprout money, and then leave it to them to figure out how to make them work.”

Turning back to the reporter, he then said, “One thing that we did have a serious discussion about were Bylaws 12.5.2.1 and 12.5.2.2, which is pay for endorsing commercial products or services, or use of the student athlete’s name or picture for promotion of a commercial product or service. The only use of any images has been for charities, such as the Marine Corps Toys for Tots program, which is acceptable to the NCAA. Especially with other world leaders involved in those images and endorsements. In addition, just like every other student-athlete, any earnings from either on- or off-campus employment that Mister Lewis has are exempt, so long as they’re not related to his reputation or fame from his athletic ability. Mister Lewis is business partners with, well, a lot of people around the world. His compensation has to be at a rate commensurate with the going rate in this locality for similar services. What’s the rate of pay for someone who was already a multi-millionaire before he graduated high school, because of the things he’s invented?”

Loomis looked puzzled. “Please don’t take this the wrong way at all, but ... why? Why are you risking yourself playing football, then?”

I grinned. “It’s fun. Hopefully, I’m helping the members of the Cardinal become the best people they can be, not just as football players, but later on, after they graduate. Mister Loomis, why does Paul Newman race cars? Wouldn’t you consider that to be a risk for his acting career? Yet he also has his own food company that donates the profits to charity as well. The energy company I founded with those three NFL owners has directly affected, and I hope helped, at least a million or more people in Texas already. My turbines and the completely safe nuclear reactors I’ve helped design will help, quite literally, billions of people. The ‘No Regrets’ pill I created has already helped thousands of women, and ... sorry, can’t say where it could lead to, not yet. I’m in college and I want to have some fun out of life. So ... I play football.”

That got another standing ovation, which also ended the press conference.

“That was actually a pretty good press conference,” Mike said as we headed home.

“Thank you. I’m trying not to be the self-centered asshole that everything I’m doing could turn me into, you know.”

“Save the world and I don’t think anyone will care, one way or the other. I won’t. I want to have a world where my wife is safe and my children can grow up without worrying about some ancient alien asshole.”

I chuckled, saying, “So, it’s okay if it’s a young alien asshole they have to worry about?”

“You know, there are times I completely forget you’re not from here. Bringing not just Karen’s body back, but her as well...” he paused, while he got his voice under control. “In my head, I know you didn’t do it alone, the Sacred Souls helped. But in my heart ... there’s a reason I never remarried, or even tried to date anyone else. I don’t know if they used this term on Star Home, but even as young as we were, I knew Karen was my ‘soul mate,’ the one I would spend my life with. She felt the same way. That’s why I went nuts in that bar in Saigon, and why Chuck cut me some slack with the Military Police.”

“Different life spans and all that, people didn’t tend to stay married for more than five or six hundred years as a monogamous couple, sometimes only a couple of hundred. Till death do us part doesn’t work well when you live thousands of years. An extended family, sort of like what I have with my wives? Yeah, definitely. The longest ‘marriage’ like that I was aware of was over six thousand years old, and was still going strong up until Star Home was destroyed. Now, Margie, Marcia, and I have really ancient souls within us, but I honestly don’t know that they were there from the time we were born, or if they were wandering around trying to make something work, when Gormer Heloran latched on to me. I suspect he could tell just how much of an asshole Shiva was, which is why he didn’t do it ten thousand years ago.”

“That sounds reasonable, which is disturbing. You’re making sense, even to me.”

I laughed, then got out as he shut the Suburban off. “It could be worse. Our entire calendar of planning for early Spring has gone out the window. Now I have to plan for late Winter. Come on in, I’m sure I’m going to have to explain it.”

I wasn’t actually prescient. While I’d been at the press conference, Diana had contacted me and told me to expect a conference call when I got home. I walked in, was handed a glass of tea, and then directed into my office, where Diana and Helen already had the speaker phone set up. Jasveer brought in a pitcher of iced tea for me, so I could refill my glass as needed.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Cal just walked in the door. I’m going to put you all on hold for just a moment, while I update him on who’s on this call,” Diana said, then pushed the button. “Bloody hell, that snowballed quickly!”

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I was on the phone to Walter and Shimon, when Ronald called here. When Bob called Mount Palomar and the Mauna Kea Observatories, it turns out they already knew about the course change. There are amateur astronomers who noticed it within a week, and talked to all the big observatories around the world. Having NASA officially call them to ask about using telescope time to observe the same thing they’ve been looking at for more than three weeks set off some alarm bells. Damned amateur astronomers started calling the press, who started calling national leaders asking for information.”

I looked up at the ceiling. “Mike called you an ancient alien asshole on the drive home. I completely agree. Who’s on the phone?”

“Walter and Shimon, of course. Pretty much most of the top national leaders around the world. You met most of them in Geneva. Those that don’t speak English have their own translators on the call, so you don’t have to show off for them,” Diana said with a smile, while Helen moved over so she was sitting behind me and started rubbing my shoulders.

I took a sip of tea, then carefully set the glass down before I pushed the button.

“I’m going to wish you all a good afternoon, since it’s still late afternoon here, no matter where on Earth you actually happen to be right now. I’m also going to presume that you’re all on here, hoping I can reassure you that this won’t change anything, and that I’ll still be able to do whatever I need to do to save Earth in the Spring. Technically, I can’t say that now.”

I paused for just a second, to see if anyone would take the bait I’d just dangled. A fish nibbled at it.

“Monsieur, why do you say that?”

I grinned while Helen smacked me lightly on the back of the head before going back to rubbing my shoulders.

“President Mitterrand, it’s pretty simple. Instead of Spring, it’ll be late Winter so far as the seasons are concerned. That’s why I can’t say that.”

Several people laughed at the same time, but for some, it was almost a hysterical laughter. More than one made the same statement, at effectively the same time. “I don’t understand.” The conversation continued to be garbled as some of these national leaders continued to try to talk over each other. After a few seconds, I loudly whistled.

“Folks, I can always just tell Walter and Shimon, and let them try to explain things to you. Or, you can all just shut up, and listen. Then, when I’m done, we can go in a round robin where, one at a time, you can ask something if you want, okay?”

Walter said, “I’d prefer that, actually. I have a list of who’s on this call, so I can direct the question and answer session afterwards. Cal ... well, literally, the world is listening.”

“No pressure, then. Even if you’re already an astrophysicist, astronomer, or scientist, I’m going to presume you know nothing about what’s going on with orbital mechanics. At the same time, I’m also going to, politely, dumb this down from that level, so it’ll be easier for everyone to understand, and for you to explain to your press. I’ll discuss later what a pain in the ass this is, because the one thing I’d specifically told Bob in our phone call this morning was to try to keep this under wraps while we refined our data, to avoid panic. I’ll blame the amateur astronomers for now. At least you’ll all get the right information, straight from the horse’s ass, er, mouth.”

The sound of chuckles that weren’t hysterical showed that’d worked.

“Okay, for purposes of my verbal explanation, we’re going to take some liberties that a professional would scream about, but they’d just confuse the hell out of the average layman as they got deep into things. So, the Earth orbits around the Sun. We’re ninety-three million miles out. That’s an average distance, but like I said, I’m simplifying. Use a really big compass and pencil, and draw a circle on a table eighteen point six inches in diameter. Simple math says that means for one complete orbit, the Earth travels five hundred eighty-four point three million miles. There are eight thousand, seven hundred sixty hours in a year, so that tells us Earth is moving at sixty-six point six thousand miles per hour. If you’re looking down from the North Pole of Earth or the Sun, our orbit is counterclockwise.

“Now, Halley’s Comet doesn’t orbit on the same plane as the Earth. Instead of drawing a circle, you draw a big ellipse on another piece of paper, cut it out, and stick it upright so it crosses the circle you’ve drawn. For our purposes, that’s how Halley’s Comet dives in and out. If you’ve ever spun a weight on the end of a string and quit putting energy into it, you know that the weight will increase speed going down, and slow down going up. That’s what Halley’s does, so when it’s the furthest from the Sun, it’s going a quite slow two thousand miles an hour. When it’s at the closest to the Sun that it gets - which is between the orbits of Mercury and Venus - it’s going more than a hundred fifty-seven thousand miles an hour. For point of reference, the circumference of Halley’s orbit is seven point six billion miles, so it goes out to Pluto before diving back sunward. And what’s very important from our perspective is that it is orbiting clockwise, so it’s going in the opposite direction of the planets.

“It does effectively cross Earth’s orbit twice on its trip every seventy-six years, once on the dive in, and once on the trip out. There are two meteor showers we get every year courtesy of the junk the comet has sprayed out over the millennia, and in 1910, we passed directly through the comet’s tail. But the closest it’s ever been is three million miles, or twelve times the distance from here to the Moon, and that was over twelve hundred years ago. On this trip, the orbit showed that it would miss Earth by about thirty-nine million miles. That’s what we all expected, because a comet by itself cannot change orbit like this. However, since we know Halley’s Comet has Shiva’s spaceship in the middle of it, that means he’s nudged the thing now and changed the orbit so it’ll pass considerably closer to Earth.

“Before you all go off about it being on a collision course with Earth, keep in mind what is known as limit of accuracy or margin of error. Anyone that had missiles in their military knows what I’m talking about. I’ll pick on the US and Soviet Union here. You can aim a missile from Moscow so that it’ll hit the US Capitol Building when it launches, but the actual accuracy of the missile is such that you would draw a big circle around all of the District of Columbia and hope it hits somewhere in that circle. That was the whole point behind nuclear warheads, because you didn’t have to actually have pinpoint accuracy. You could miss by five miles and still destroy your target. In this case, right now it’s aimed dead-on for us, or so it appears, but the margin of error is two million miles. Based upon some information I’ve gotten from our deceased but active helpers, I figure he’s planning on passing Earth about half a million miles away. So, it’s going to seem like it’s coming down our throats, but it’s going to miss.

“In case anyone is morbidly curious, I suggest you read ‘Lucifer’s Hammer,’ by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. That’s not going to happen here. At the same time, I started my CERT groups because I expect there to be some of what the military calls ‘collateral damage.’ Those of you who’ve seen the tapes from my previous, in-person conference, know what I’m talking about. It’s going to be ugly, but ... what a good friend of mine who knows everything told me is this - and I’m going to pass it on to all of you, to help reassure your people - live your lives normally. You can make preparations, but don’t get stupid; because you could zig when you should’ve zagged. Then, when he shows up, we deal with him, then consider it a couple of pretty bad weeks, and afterwards, get back to living our lives. Mexico and the people of Mexico City are having a couple of pretty bad weeks right now, but they’ll recover. Nepal had a couple of pretty bad weeks earlier this year. They’re already almost recovered. Dealing with Shiva is my job, and you all know I’ll die before he wins again. I’m still playing football, and Diana still has our baby in her womb. I plan on watching all of my children grow up.”

“Cal, I think we all understand that,” Walter said. “But you haven’t explained how it’ll be later Winter instead of Spring.”

“Ah, okay. The Earth is that train circling the sun at the center of that really big circle. Halley’s Comet is another train that just threw a switch and changed tracks, so instead of missing by thirty-nine million miles, it passes within five hundred thousand miles. Remember I said how fast the Earth was moving? Divide thirty-nine million by sixty-six thousand, six hundred, and you get five hundred eighty five point six hours. Divide that by twenty-four hours in a day, and you’ve got twenty-four point four days. So instead of around April 10^th, we’re looking around Saint Patrick’s Day. At this point in time, I simply can’t be more accurate than that. That’s why I say late Winter, because in the Northern Hemisphere, Spring starts March 20^th, or about three days later. It could be earlier, and I don’t want to dig into the science too much, but ... imagine an ocean liner, going directly across the ocean from Liverpool to New York, since they just found Titanic. It’s going in a straight line. But two hundred miles from Liverpool, they change course just slightly. Instead of New York, they now dock in Miami. If they waited until they were halfway across the Atlantic to change course that same amount, they’d dock in Norfolk, Virginia. If they wanted to change course to make it to Miami, it’d have to be much more drastic, and since we’re dealing with spaceships and not cruise ships, it also takes a lot more power. We already knew he was planning on coming back this year, we just didn’t know it was going to be by making a flashy entrance, is all.”

I recognized Mister Dhawan’s voice. “Esteemed Mister Lewis, both my Prime Minister and I understand the cruise ship analogy, as far as changing course. But neither of us understand why this moves the timetable up, if he is no longer going to New York, but to Miami.”

Prince Akihito from Japan spoke before I could. “Because the analogy of the cruise ship assumes a fixed globe. If the globe was cut in half vertically and rotating around itself, the United States would continue moving north. The cruise ship would have to actually travel on a curve to make it to New York, and go further to do so. Miami is actually coming up to meet it, so it will get there quicker than if it were going to New York. Our own space scientists used a similar analogy to explain this to my father and I when they discovered this from our space probes. They waited until yesterday to actually tell us, as they didn’t believe their own data. The Emperor had just made the decision to have me contact Minister Lewis when we received notice of this phone call.”

I spent another hour on the phone, helping to explain that nothing from our preparations would actually change. Presidents Mondale and Reagan both made impassioned pleas with the rest of the national leaders to help control any panic that an uninformed press might stir up, while at the same time making sure that they didn’t say too much.

The unified press statement was going to say that we were all aware Shiva was residing within Halley’s Comet, we simply didn’t know that his spaceship would change course to reduce the amount of time he would have to travel. We were still planning on dealing with him when he arrived, so get ready for some Saint Patrick’s Day fireworks in the sky.

I asked Walter to call me back when we were done, which he quickly did.

“What did you want to tell me that you didn’t want everyone else to hear?” he asked.

“Oh, just something simple, in case some of them call you. Of the thirty leaders on the call, twenty of them were recording the whole thing. They’re going to wonder why, when they go to play their tapes, the only thing they’re going to hear for the hour and a half is the Stanford fight song.”

“Well, you know I wasn’t. This is what we’re not paying you to do, anyway. More or less out of curiosity, who didn’t record it?” he asked.

“The leaders that really know me: Ronald and Jeane, Elizabeth and Margaret, Akihito, Indira, Benazir, Fahd, Mikhail, Xi, Hugo, and Cris. I really don’t blame the others. I’ve not had the interactions with them other than what effectively was a simple meet and greet in Geneva when we started the Federation. I’ll take half the blame for that, because they know where I am. I had a discussion with one of my US State Department minders about this before. They’re national leaders; we’re world leaders.”

“I heard about that,” Walter replied with a chuckle, then he sighed. “Is there anything else about what we’ve found out that I should know?”

“At this point ... nothing that I can think of. I’m a bit surprised that the Angels didn’t respond to Mexico, but at the same time, it makes sense. The last sighting of them that I’m aware of was just before Shiva’s ship changed course. They would’ve known it before we did, and anything else they did now that he’s committed to this trip might be seen as interference by them, or the Galactic Council, on their part. I suspect we’re pretty much allowed to sink or swim on our own as far as he’s concerned.”

“More or less for my own piece of mind, will you be able to meet him in outer space, so we’re not destroying the planet piecemeal like apparently has happened before we were so heavily populated?”

“You saw some of what I can do. Has Ronald told you everything we took from Area 51?”

“Not the complete list, no. I’m curious about those eels,” he said.

“The proper name for them is water lorquat. Karen knew that. I wonder if that’s why the Angels went and played with Nessie, since they’re the same creature. Anyway ... once I’m done with Shiva, I plan on fixing what the Messenger did to the Moon. In person. I’ll bring you back a souvenir.”

“The Loch Ness Monster is a big eel from another planet?”

“I’ll let you release that information. I bet that’ll surprise a lot of people.”

He snorted. “Are you kidding? The conspiracy nuts and UFO people are having a blast right now, because it turned out they were right. All the ‘journalists’ are having fits!”

“Good. That’s basically all I had. I have to register for fall classes tomorrow, and we’re still having football practice four days per week.”

I hung up and then gathered with as much of the extended family as were present in the living room.

“Well, I think we all know this was a bit of a surprise. I’m open for thoughts from anyone and everyone,” I said.

Karen shrugged. “I didn’t know anything about the operation of his ship, and I doubt the other three did, either. I don’t think anything other than what you’d already planned to do today, which was gather the last remaining shivalingam, is needed. We discussed personally flying in space this morning after you left. Shiva and the girls all grabbed whatever rocks they needed from the surface of the moon. Eve’s trip sunward showed she could easily fly forty million miles an hour. Cal, how long were you in space when you were defacing the Moon?”

I felt the light bulb go off, and looking at some of my wives, they did, too.

“A total of almost four and a half hours. I didn’t notice a damned thing. I didn’t need to breathe, either. I’ve been just as guilty, myself, of thinking that he’d have to be close to Earth’s orbit. I could cut across the solar system and deal with him now!”

Two television heads shook at the same time.

“No, you couldn’t,” Mycroft said.

“Why not? I’m still more powerful than any of my wives. Now that Karen’s been fixed by the Sacred Souls, I actually think she’s as powerful as I am, if not more so. I had our Scout training; you’ve got thousands of years of real life experience,” I said nodding at her.

“Mycroft is referring to something the Planetary Defense Units had; the power draining field. While we know that the units here only required thirteen shivalingam to overcome that for Beth, Dora, and Eve, and you didn’t need any, look at this file,” Pahto said.

She changed her screen to show something that only four of us could read.

Helen shook her head. “That math is above me head.”

Karen did the same. “I can read it, but I don’t understand it.”

“Fuck! I do.” I cursed. “Where did you find this?”

“The file headers are slightly corrupt, so I’m not certain if it was downloaded in 998 or 1074. It doesn’t matter, either way. It knew how the power draining fields the planetary defense units use worked, courtesy of Machapuchare. Mountain Guardian couldn’t affect you any more than he could Shiva, with power draining. But having a few thousand years to figure out how to create a draining field that would work is something that it had time to do. That’s also why and how the shivalingam the Thug had were able to affect you.”

Marcia frowned. “Let me guess. Since Shiva and Cal both draw their power from the Sun, whatever amplifier the Shiva AI has would overpower whatever Cal could do if he’s far enough away from Earth.”

Mycroft nodded. “That’s also a good distinction, one we’re going to have to start using. The AI controlling the craft is based upon Shiva’s personality, and will inhabit the created body, probably leaving a copy in the ship itself. We need to start calling them by two different names. Cal will have to fight the Shiva body when it comes to take over Earth. If we simply allow the Shiva AI to pass Earth and continue on, we’ll have seventy-six years before we have to deal with it.”

“Presuming he’s not actually slowing his velocity, or doesn’t undock the spaceship from the comet and land it here, like he did when he brought the sisters here,” Carrie said.

Mike shook his head. “That’s leaving a wounded animal. You don’t want to do that. What would prevent it from deciding to suicide, by literally ramming the Earth at that point? If it can change directions now, it can increase velocity.”

Toby said, “Grandpa just raised a point with me. He was on a troop transport that was attacked by a kamikaze. When the cruisers and destroyers were shooting at the enemy planes, they started shooting before the planes were even in range. That was to calm the nerves of the gunners, because someone was intent on killing them by killing himself, and also to try to throw the aim of the pilots off. They didn’t have to actually shoot the Japanese plane down, they just had to make it miss the ship.”

“If I’m understanding you correctly, what Tobias means is that once we know for sure where he’s going to go now, we start sending love packages back his way, in the reverse orbit. The AI has changed course now, because a very slight course correction now makes a huge difference, changing arrival from April to March. Once we know it’s going to miss, we shoot back, so that it hits him, maybe at perihelion. It’ll be on its way back out, suddenly having who knows how much damage,” I said.

“Maybe even more than one shot at him,” Beth said. “There are still nuclear weapons that haven’t been destroyed. So far as the AI knows ... and yes, I realize I may be doing wishful thinking here ... but we know it knows about Irhaal and her plan. It doesn’t know about Cal, or us. It probably knows about Hugo, too, for that matter. Sending a rocket with a couple of warheads to blow the Comet up, or to nudge it off course, would be what the governments would do normally. Oh, they’d bicker about it until it was probably too late to do any good, but ... that was before the Federation.”

Diana nodded, then frowned. “How long have I been a part of this family?”

That comment made me give her a double take, while the rest of my wives grinned. “Um, March 9^th of this year. Why?” I asked.

“I think I want to register for a class or two tomorrow as well. If I’m early with our daughter like everyone else, I can have her during the Thanksgiving recess, so I’ll be able to attend finals. Elizabeth apologized for her treatment of me before I met you. She has no idea that if I were still that Diana, no apology would be needed, because I would still be the same person that allowed herself to be manipulated into providing an acceptable heir to the Crown. It really wasn’t until I was sitting here, listening to what was being discussed that I realized seven months ago, not only wouldn’t I have understood any of it, I would have been bored and probably made a scene so I could escape it all. I realized today, when I was helping set up the conference call, just how much I’d changed. I knew most of those people before; I was in awe of them, because they were the leaders of the world. While I had hoped that Charles and I would still be wed when Elizabeth passed away, so I could be Queen, I didn’t truly expect it. I was just a party girl that didn’t know any better when they talked me into marrying him.”

Beth smiled at Diana, saying, “The three of us had him to ourselves for a full month. Since then, we’ve had to share. Remember we mentioned how we went from regular high school juniors to something more than college freshmen in four months? We knew it was happening to us. We could see the changes we were making, as it were. The six months you’ve been with Cal, you’ve never taken the time to sit back and think about how he’s changed you until just now, have you?”

Diana shook her head. “I heard what Elizabeth said, but I didn’t understand it, if that makes sense. Now, I do. Cal, you need to gather the remaining shivalingam on Earth tonight, without being seen since the Messenger is long gone. Helen and I will call Xi, Mikhail, and Ronald, to get at least a couple dozen of their best remaining nuclear warheads transported to Vandenberg Air Force Base. That way, they can simply launch them, then you can tell them you’re using your mental powers to send them on a collision course with Halley’s Comet. It’ll make them feel better, so they can show the people of the world they’re doing something, while still keeping you secret. It’ll take a bit, so Robert Heinlein will be home by then to supervise and make sure things are done both properly and sneakily.”

Helen’s smile lit up the room. “Now, I’m not your only Queen, Cal. Royalty has shown that with the proper motivation, it can actually do the proper thing and make the proper decision. My sister-wife, I agree with you. We’re not going to launch the warheads in the next couple of weeks, maybe not even in the next couple of months. But we can get things going, so our husband can concentrate on more important matters.”

Mike put his hands on his knees, then stood up. “I think I’m going to take my family out to dinner. You’ve got some work to do tonight, and I also think we’ve got as much of a plan as we need at the moment.”

I started to argue, but caught myself. Mike noticed it, giving me a questioning look.

“It’s a military issue. You’re my General. I’m paying you to give me the best advice you can, so I’d be an idiot if I ignored it. Especially since I think the horse is about dead right now, so I’ll quit beating him.”

Mike smiled at me. “Damn, son, you really are growing up.”

“Unfortunately, I have to agree with your assessment of our husband,” Margie said. “It’s actually not bad, all things considered.” Her smile when she said that took some of the sting from her words, especially as my other wives were nodding as well. Granted, it was just a little sting, but annoying to me, nonetheless.

I put the shivalingam I normally carried in my backpack into my uniform pouch, so I could carry them with me while gathering the rest. My wives lined up to give me a kiss for luck, then I headed out.

While it was still too early in a normal year for either the Draconids or the Orionids, I was still paranoid about Shiva sending something early. Since it was after dark now in California, I tried to follow the night by heading west. The first was buried under a lake in Siberia. As I approached it, I realized where I was, and chuckled to myself.

‘What’s wrong, Cal?’ Beth asked, since I was linked with her just in case.

‘How well do you know your Russian and Soviet History?’

‘Some, why?’ she asked, puzzled.

‘If nothing else, this one is proof that Shiva can send stuff here. Ask your sisters about Tunguska.’

‘Oh, wasn’t that the meteor that hit Russia in 1908, but nobody visited for decades, because it’s in such a remote area?’

‘To paraphrase the movie, that’s no meteor. That’s a shivalingam! Damn thing is buried under the land that’s adjacent to a lake just north of where things really blew up. It almost makes me wonder if he was trying to kill Hugo’s mom before he was conceived, because it knew she had so many of the shivalingam, and just missed.’

‘That’s ... a disturbing thought. Dora’s calling her cousin to talk about what NASA actually knows about Tunguska.’

‘I’m going to guess not much. Yuck. Sorry, there’s about ten feet of silt down here.’ I snorted. ‘Funny. You know how a crater is always circular, no matter what the angle? Part of the lake was already here. Geology students would have a ball with this one, because of how the layers are formed. Anyway, one down.’

Five of the next six were rather easily acquired, with two in India, two in Africa, and one in southern Europe. The last one was on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, which in and of itself wouldn’t be an issue.

That it was effectively in the middle of an underwater tomb was.

‘What’s wrong?’ Beth asked.

‘You know I’m not the most, um, careful person in the world at times. I will be, now, because I don’t want to leave any signs that I was here, recovering a shivalingam.’

I could hear her puzzlement in her thoughts. ‘Where’s here?’

I made the connection so she could see through my eyes.

‘Yeah, definitely not. It’s not like someone didn’t just find it three weeks ago.’

I snorted. ‘The question is, why would there have been a shivalingam onboard?’

‘I have an idea. You go get it - carefully - and I’ll talk to Hannah,’ Beth said.

‘She’s still up?’

‘No, but like I said ... be careful.’

I ended up making a few contortionist moves, backing out of some blocked passages, and otherwise taking my time as I worked my way into the wreck of RMS Titanic. I found a safe inside a first-class stateroom. I knew the shivalingam was inside it, but rather than simply rip it open here, I carefully took the small safe from the floor and worked my way back out.

Once I was free of the wreck and let Beth know, Hannah contacted me.

‘Well, you’ve stirred Grandfather up, if nothing else, my love.’

‘I take it he knew there was a shivalingam on Titanic?’

‘Yes, but even knowing that someone found it, and with your abilities, he didn’t even think about letting us know about it, because he considered it lost. You’ll appreciate this, since we’ve had just a few conspiracies to deal with. Are you on your way home now, so I can tell you over breakfast?’

‘Yes, but I’ll have to go relatively slow. I’m bringing the whole safe that the shivalingam is in, because I didn’t want to ruin or destroy the stuff that’s inside.’

‘That’ll work. I’ll let Eve know, so she can get a tub set up to open it in. Then we can look at the stuff you’ve found and talk about it over breakfast.’

I kept my speed down, so the safe itself wouldn’t be damaged, which meant it took me six hours to cross the country, instead of the six seconds that I’d originally planned. When I got out of the tunnel, Eve, Beth, and Dora were waiting for me. They took the safe from my hands. I was ordered to go shower, because I smelled. Some of the water and a few small critters had managed to work their way into my outfit.

Once I was out of the shower and cleaned up for the day, I went in for breakfast. “Those aren’t regular looking waffles,” I said, pointing at something new on the table.

“No. I got two new waffle irons, just for them,” Linda said. “They also use a different recipe for the batter. They take longer to cook, but I like them better.”

“Me, too,” Toby said around a mouthful.

“I’d tell you to not talk with your mouth full, but it’d be wasted,” Jennifer said. “Especially considering I like them better, too. Try one with peanut butter and strawberries.”

I gave her a look, then took one of the new waffles. There already was a light dusting of powdered sugar on it. I spread some creamy peanut butter on it, then poured strawberries on top. Cutting into it, I took a bite.

“Oh, my. What is this?” I asked after I swallowed.

“It’s called a Belgian waffle. These are closer to Brussels waffles, because of the recipe, but they also use a different waffle maker than regular American waffles, with deeper holes. They’ve only really been in the US for a couple of decades,” Linda explained.

“Yeah, I think you can serve these every breakfast from now on. Yum!”

“Thank you, I will. I’m hoping this weekend Cally can come over. I also have whipped cream, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, and half a dozen different varieties of maple syrup for toppings for breakfast Saturday, before your game.”

“I will not invite the whole team over, because we wouldn’t be able to move! This is good.”

Linda smiled. “Thank you. And now, I can see Hanna is about to explode because she wants to tell you something that’s above my clearance level...”

“It’s not, Linda. I mean, it is, but ... there’s nothing the three of you don’t know about any or all of us that we don’t want you to know, and you’re part of the family, too.”

“Thank you,” Linda replied, still going into the kitchen to start cleaning up and begin lunch. The Menlo kids finished up, put their dishes in the sink, and headed out.

Hannah chuckled. “Something grandfather mentioned is that servants have eyes and ears, too. They’re not our servants, they’re part of our security forces, to make sure we don’t get poisoned, and they have their own weapons cache in the kitchen, but I think it applies.”

“Poisoning doesn’t affect me, as far as I’ve seen, but I was scared for you and Jennifer.”

“For which we thank you,” Jennifer said. “Now, this gets complicated.”

I just closed my eyes and shook my head. “When hasn’t it?”

“True,” Hannah replied. “Especially with the Rothschild family involved. Although we weren’t the only ones. What do a divorcée from Colorado, a tailor and his wife from New York, and a business magnate and his young wife have in common?”

“I’m guessing they were all on Titanic,” I said.

“Okay, that was probably obvious. What isn’t is their other connection. During his mining operations in Leadville, Colorado, one of Jim Brown’s miners found something he couldn’t figure out. What they thought was a little piece of stone ended up in the possession of the Rothschild family, eventually, because it was a shivalingam. That particular stone is one we already have. But, what that meant is that his wife, Margaret - or as she’s popularly known, Molly - knew that a rock like that was valuable. She was vacationing in France and Egypt with John Jacob Astor when he was presented the opportunity to purchase a stone that had been found in a pyramid, and told him to buy it, so he did. Molly had planned to broker the sale to my great-grandfather in England, and make a commission off it.

“Between Astor’s wife being pregnant and not feeling well and Molly’s grandson getting ill, they had to leave for America before the deal could be completed. However, we had a cousin in England who wasn’t actually a tailor, he owned his own clothing company, but you know how grandfather likes to talk. So, cousin Martin and his wife booked passage as well, so they could finalize payment arrangements during the voyage, and complete the deal as soon as the ship docked. Molly Brown was the only woman who knew about the value of the stone, neither of the wives knew anything about it. The rock was in Astor’s safe, more than enough money would be available in New York to buy it - the family was prepared to spend today’s equivalent of up to half a million dollars for it - and everyone would be happy once the ship docked.”

“And she hit an iceberg, sank, and I already know Astor died. What about our family?”

“Martin died as well, so that took care of that. Both of their wives survived, and of course, so did ‘The Unsinkable Molly Brown,’” Hannah finished.

Eve walked into the dining room. “Here you go, one very intricate wooden box, with gold inlay initials on it, containing one shivalingam in velvet.”

Frowning, Hannah asked, “It stayed dry the whole time?”

“Actually, and quite surprisingly, yes. There was some kind of coating between the door and the body of the safe that acted like a seal. I’m surprised, actually. Oh, and we also have a few souvenirs that we can’t display until next year. A couple of gold brooches, half a dozen personalized sets of cuff links, and fifty thousand in very old currency,” Eve explained.

“I would’ve thought there would be more in Astor’s safe,” Hannah said.

“I don’t know. This box says MR on it, and the cuff links all have different styles of the letter R on them,” Eve answered.

I took the shivalingam from the box and put it into the bag with the rest. “Until I beat Shiva, I’m not even going to look into this one. I’ve read ‘A Night to Remember,’ I have no desire to experience it firsthand from the shivalingam. At that depth, it was just ... weird, I guess is the only way to describe it ... swimming through the wreck. Some of the stuff is so well preserved, you could almost see passengers walking the deck. I didn’t look to see if their souls are in the wreck, either.”

“Probably,” Helen said. “But I’d almost guess not that many, because the only ones who would have an attachment to the ship would be her crew. The passengers that died would’ve wanted to go home.”

“Well, this is delightfully morbid, but the four of us have to go register,” Dora said.

“Actually, it’s more than just you four,” Margie said. “For this quarter, I think it’s eighteen. We’ll also register Saryu and Mina for their classes, even though they’re not here. You saw in Nepal how things switch from rescue to recovery. Once it does that, they’ll head home.”

“I thought we’d also help with the recovery, though,” I argued.

“Ah, I see your confusion,” Shinkai said. “While CEDEM will assist with recovery efforts as well, the actual emergency response teams are just that. Respond to the emergency with what’s needed immediately. People who can go in and rescue people or otherwise help stabilize an area, regardless of what’s going on. We’re the immediate people on the scene. Our people are trained to help put out fires, seal off leaking pipelines, or evaluate buildings for safety, not simply to be aid workers. We’ll rescue people that are in immediate danger, but our mission is to make things safer for the regular aid workers, and help provide them with some of the equipment they may not have in quantity. Each of my teams, for example, has three hundred shovels, a hundred axes, a hundred machetes, and fifty sets of block and tackle, with adequate rope, to move downed trees or poles. That’s in addition to their chainsaws and metal cutting saws. Those are things we can simply give to the locals to help themselves.”

“Oh.” I took in a breath, then let it out. “Please don’t let Mike know, but this really, really annoys me.”

“What?” Beth asked.

“I’m not going to say a damned thing. Those are your teams, you’re in charge.”

Margie nodded. “Now I don’t feel nearly so bad about robbing the cradle with you. Mike was right, you are growing up.”

“That’s why I don’t want anyone to tell him. It greatly annoys me.”

I kept as much of my dignity as I could with all of my wives that were present laughing at that statement.

Chapter 2

I met the new women’s basketball coach when Eve registered. She was greeting all of the female players as they signed up.

“So, I hear you’re my basketball team’s new star. I’m Tara VanDerveer. These are two of my assistant coaches, Amy Tucker and June Daugherty.”

Eve shook hands all around. “Sorry, I’ve got a bit of a crew with me today. It seems like most of the family is getting registered for some classes this fall. I think we’ve given the admissions department fits since none of us came through the regular admissions process, but that’s part of the fun. It’s a pleasure to meet you, ladies.”

“Hopefully, your teammates will think the same, regarding you. We’re only allowed to carry a roster of fifteen players, and I thought I had things pretty well sorted out until Mister Geiger and President Kennedy said you wanted to play, so I had to make it happen.”

A pained look on her face, Eve said, “When we came out here last October, President Kennedy overheard me tell Cal that I enjoyed playing basketball, so he had me do a little scrimmage against Judy Griffith and Leslie Crandall. It pissed Coach McCrea off when President Kennedy pretty much told her if I wanted to play, I could. But he also said she was on her way out.”

“Well, I think what pissed McCrea off was when I said I doubted Stanford would complain about winning the NCAA Championship in two sports,” I said. “I think she was insulted. Ladies, I’m Cal Lewis, Eve’s husband.”

That made all three women do a double take, with VanDerveer speaking first. “Are either one of you old enough to be married?”

Beth and Dora came over, each taking an arm. “This is Beth Watson and Dora Menendez, two of my other wives. I think the other dozen or so are running around here somewhere.”

Beth laughed. “You know, that’s the first time you’ve ever referenced us that way, but what makes it funny is, you’re right. I don’t think any of us ever thought about it like that before.”

Amy Tucker said, “That means you’re not only the Cardinal quarterback, you’re also a King.”

“Guilty as charged; but since I have diplomatic immunity, I can get away with it,” I said with a smile. “The fun part for you is, I’m certain you sometimes have girls on your teams with attitudes thinking they’re Princesses. This year you really will have a Princess on your team.”

VanDerveer blinked, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Eve, but I need to see you in action on the court before I make my actual decision.”

“Oh, I understand. Cal’s lucky, he doesn’t have practice today due to registration, and because he really doesn’t need it. I was told our practice season starts today. What time do you want me at the gym?”

“Are you done registering?”

“Yes, Coach.”

VanDerveer nodded. “Then now would be good. What you’re wearing is good enough for today.”

Since I was done, as were Beth and Dora, the three of us tagged along. I’m not sure what the three coaches thought of our four golf carts - two for us and two for our security - tagging along.

While we were riding to the gym, Eve said, “By the way, the ‘other dozen or so’ thought that was funny, as did the three who aren’t back in country yet. But they’ll be home by this weekend. Do you have a problem if I steal the bullshit story you came up with for Coach Elway, about helping others?”

I tried to give her a look like I was offended by that remark, which made her laugh. “Fine, be that way,” I answered with as much dignity as I could, which wasn’t much.

We got to the gym and went inside. There were several girls already present, doing warm-ups. They stopped what they were doing when we walked in, with two of them coming over.

“Hi, Judy, Leslie!” Eve said.

“Hi, Eve,” Judy replied. “Bringing us some more talent?” she asked, looking at Beth.

“No, I’m the only one that wants to play basketball.”

“Cool. Coach, if I can say so, I think our chances of having a winning season, and maybe taking the whole thing, just improved drastically,” Crandall said.

VanDerveer frowned. “We can only play fifteen, so I’ve already got two girls I’m going to have to red-shirt. What makes you think Eve even deserves a place on this team?”

That got both of them laughing, with the other girls that had also played the previous year laughing as well. “Coach Plank! Toss me a ball!” Crandall yelled. A shorter, dark haired woman in sweats that was talking to another woman, also in sweats, looked up when her name was called. She grabbed a ball from the rack next to her and tossed it to Crandall. The ball bounced once before reaching her. She handed it to Eve, then motioned with her head for Judy to go out to the foul line. “Jill! Sara! Go down to the other end, guard under the basket!”

I looked, then did a double take. I was used to looking up at Beth when I first landed here, then meeting and finally surpassing her in height. One of the girls was the same height I was now, while the other was easily three inches taller than me. Both of them ran to the other end.

Crandall laughed as she joined Griffith at the foul line. “A little one on four, Eve?”

“What is it Cal always says? He’s not here to win the games by himself? But if this is what it takes, then ... let’s do this.” She immediately started dribbling, putting on a burst of speed around to the right. That got Griffith moving that way, so Eve bounced the ball between her legs and switched to going left, now dribbling with her left hand. Crandall was already running backwards, trying to get into position to slow her down. Eve did another body fake, this time to the left, switching back to her right hand with the ball, so Crandall was out of position. She then went low, split between the girls that had their hands up to block a regular jump shot, leaped a good four feet into the air, and dunked the basketball through the hoop behind them.

“Son of a bitch,” VanDerveer softly said.

“It could be worse,” I said. “Eve! Toss me the ball!”

She threw it full court to me, with it bouncing once. I had to jump a little to catch it, then came down with it just inbounds. “A basketball court is a lot shorter than a football field,” I said, tossing the ball back to the other end, where it hit the backboard, then went right into the net.

“Holy shit!” Tucker exclaimed. “Are you going to play basketball for the Cardinal, too?”

“No, I mostly was just curious to see if I could do that. To me, football is more fun. Plus, there’s too many basketball games, which would take away from my family time, since I do have seventeen wives, five babies, two toddlers, and Diana pregnant.”

Leslie Crandall frowned. “Seventeen? When you did Sports Illustrated, you only had sixteen.”

Beth smiled. “That’s our Cal, he’s always been an overachiever. I guess you didn’t come to his first home game, when the grandmother of the two toddlers visited. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth. Diana got custody of William and Harry in the divorce, so she’s one of our sister-wives.”

Eve said, “Which does bring up one minor detail for me. I had this problem in high school, and I’d prefer to not have it at college. I’ll be your teammate, I can be your friend, hell, I may end up teaching you in a class or two before I finally leave Stanford, since I’ll be getting at least two doctorates this quarter. I have sixteen other women I love, okay? Oh, and fair notice. If you see someone that you think is me taking a class with you this fall and she seems to ignore you, that’s because it’s not me.”

Judy said, “That’s cool! I didn’t know your mother was going to be taking classes here, too! Coach, Eve’s mother won this year’s PGA Masters Tournament. Jennifer Patrick.”

VanDerveer looked stunned. “Jennifer Patrick is your mother? She looks like she’s seventeen!”

“Good genetics,” Eve said with a chuckle.

Beth, Dora, and I took seats in the bleachers then, while watching Eve and the rest of the Cardinal women’s basketball team figure things out, and get things sorted for starting their practices. They would have three women red-shirt now, meaning they’d keep a year of playing eligibility. Since two of them were on what was going to be a five-year degree plan anyway, that didn’t matter to them. The third needed more practice before being able to play at the college level anyway, and this would allow her to get that practice time in without burning a year of playing time, when she’d have ridden the bench.

After a couple of hours, practice was over for the afternoon and we headed home. As Eve didn’t bring other clothes, she didn’t shower with the rest. I did see her having a talk with Judy and Leslie before joining us.

Once we were in the golf carts, Eve shook her head. “I swear, some girls are so fucking stupid!”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Like you couldn’t smell them when I scored that bucket,” she replied. “Judy and Leslie are going to have a very long talk with them in the locker room.”

“You know what they’re missing?” Beth asked. “They didn’t get the training that the football team did. Are you still planning on having a barbecue with Texas after the game on Saturday out at Moffett?”

“So far, yes,” I replied. “Coach Elway said they’re not stuck up pricks, and actually have a sense of humor. We got permission from the NCAA so they can land their plane at Moffett and save on airport fees, without it being considered any kind of bribery. That’s just us being nice. What are you thinking? Invite all the Cardinal teams out so they can see what the football team already knows?”

“Si, that is a good idea. It’ll give my cousins a chance to properly cook the beef and pork for afterwards, and with so many people eating, we shouldn’t have to worry about the State of California giving us grief because we won’t have leftover food.”

When I showed up for practice the next morning, I found Coach Elway before getting dressed. “What’s up, Cal? You normally wait to drop bombshells on me until after you’re ready, and I’m totally in coaching mode, so you make me freak out.”

“Well, yeah. I admit that is how things sort of happen. Um, Coach, can I ask you for a favor?”

“Okay, now I’m really worried. What is it?”

“Can you talk to Mister Geiger, and make it mandatory that every member of every sports team - including all their coaching staff - are at Moffett Field at eight on Saturday morning ... the day of our game?”

“I could do that, but I’d like to know why,” he said with a puzzled look on his face. “We’ve got an early afternoon kickoff, so Texas is going to be landing at about nine. You’re not planning on pulling some stunt with them, are you?” he asked with some worry.

“Not in regards to Texas, no. We simply have to get the cows butchered before Dora’s cousins can cook them. Apropos of nothing in particular, the only team that knows not to fuck with me or mine is the football team. And by the way, Eve made the basketball team, and she’s not a lesbian or available for dating, even if I do have sixteen other wives that share my marital bed. Also, all seventeen of them are enrolled in classes here now, too. Oh, and I’m not interested in playing basketball, either, although I’m sure at some point with classes starting Wednesday, Coach Davis or one of the other men’s coaches are going to ask me about it. I made a ninety-three and a half foot one handed bank shot, mostly because I was just curious to see how aerodynamic a basketball was compared to a football.”

He drew in a deep breath, then let it out. “We’re the only ones who really know Sayel. Hell, we’re the only ones who know about you and what you can do with a sword. Fuck! Come with me,” he said, heading for the locker room at full steam.

He blasted through the door, slamming it open. “CARDINAL! Listen UP! Practice today is CANCELED! Get your street clothes back on, and hustle it up! Sonny! Get on the phone and call Mister Geiger and President Kennedy! I need an emergency meeting of all the coaches of every team and sport on this campus, immediately, if not sooner!”

“What the hell is going on, Coach?” John asked from his locker.

“We’re the only team that understands what meeting Sayel means,” he said, looking at the wall where Sayel was casually standing. “Not only has Eve made the basketball team, but all of Cal’s wives are now enrolled for classes here, not just Beth and Dora. I need all of you to run - not walk, but run - to every athlete you know, no matter what the sport, and give them some seriously life-saving advice. Even if they try to blow you off, tell them that it will be mandatory for them to be at Moffett Field at eight on Saturday morning. Do we have pictures of Cal’s wives with the Dollies? Of their faces, not their butts?”

“We’ve gotten the first run of a thousand of both, Coach.”

“Good. Take some of them with you. It may not do any good, but tell them you’re deadly serious. If they have any questions, have them call Dave or one of the assistant coaches. They’ll be here and ready for phone calls.”

“Jack? Kennedy will meet you at Geiger’s office in ten minutes.”

Elway ran out the door.

“Cal? What the hell was all that about?” Coach Lubick asked.

“Everyone in here knows me pretty well by now. You also know how protective I am of my family, and who all I consider to be family, and nearly all of you know just what I can, and will do if I perceive a threat. Eve made the basketball team yesterday.”

“SHIT!” came from more than one player.

“Don’t worry about putting your stuff away nice and neat!” Marty yelled. “Just get dressed and get out there to save lives! We’ll put it up for you!”

Less than five minutes later, the Cardinal football team was running all over campus.

“Sorry, Marty. Let me help you get this mess picked up,” I said.

“It’s okay, Cal. We got this.”

I went back outside. “Dave, you might call security and...”

“I already did, Cal. All of Stanford security knows the football team will be beating on doors in dorms and fraternities today, and they’re going to help, too. Did the girls really hit on Eve?”

“The coaching staff is all new. The players that were at the practice where the old coach got her ass chewed out by Kennedy knew about Eve, but that was last December. They’ve not had months of team building.”

There was a call on Dave’s radio. Since he was using an earbud, I didn’t listen in. He changed directions. Instead of driving me home, we ended up at the Athletics Academic Resource Office. A Stanford security officer was waiting out front. “Thank you, Sir. Coach Elway contacted me, to have you bring Cal and Sayel here for a demonstration.”

“You did the right thing.” He sighed. “Well, come on, you two. Time to go show some idiots why you don’t fuck with Cal.”

Sayel almost broke a grin at that, as he followed us up the stairs. It was rather obvious where we needed to go, because there was a lot of yelling coming from a room at one end. Dave went in first.

“AT EASE!” he yelled in a command voice, which surprisingly worked. “Thank you!”

At one end of the room was President Kenney, Mister Geiger, and Coach Elway. The rest of the room was a nearly angry mob of men and women that I presumed were the coaches for the other twenty-five organized team sports at Stanford. The only one I actually recognized was Tara VanDerveer, and she looked pissed.

Kennedy said, “Okay, people. Now that Cal and Sayel are here, we can continue to explain why all practices except football are canceled until after Saturday. And Coach VanDerveer, before you open your mouth and say something we’d all regret - you especially - just be quiet and listen up.”

Coach Elway looked at me, saying, “Cal, I quickly told Don and Andy a little bit of what you told me, which is why everything is canceled. They don’t understand,” he said, waving his arm at the rest of the coaches.

“Damned right we don’t, Elway,” one of the men said.

“Then I suggest you shut up so His Majesty can explain reality to you,” Elway said.

I took in and then let out a breath. “Mister Geiger, do you have copies of the pictures taken of us with the Presidents, and later on with Her Majesty, as well as those of the Princesses?”

“Yes, I do. Give me just a moment, I’ll get some and pass them around.” He ran out, and was back in just a few seconds, handing stacks of pictures around.

I glanced at Coach Elway, nodding for him to say something.

“Yes, those are real pictures. I realize that each of us gets a little insular at times, in our own little sporting worlds. I’m sure you all know the football team is two and oh so far. Some of you even know that Cal is our starting quarterback. You may have even seen the Sports Illustrated article about him, with the pictures of sixteen lovely women. Well, he’s up to seventeen, and all seventeen of them are his wives. Yes, that’s President Reagan and Federation President Mondale with our football team. And yes, that’s Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip with our football team. If you look closely at the picture of his wives with our Dollies, you’ll recognize Princess Diana. She’s also one of Cal’s wives.”

“Seventeen wives? How the hell is that legal?”

“Tim, I’m glad you asked. Um, normally I call you Cal, but ... Your Majesty?”

“We thank you, Coach Elway. We are the Absolute Monarch - King - of the Indigenous Peoples of Australia, Alaska, and Washington. We are the Prince of Punjab, absolute ruler and monarch of that region of Pakistan and India, and will be its King effective January 1^st. We are also a member of, but hold no titles with, the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia. All seventeen of our wives are Princesses, with Princesses Helen and Diana serving as our Queens. We are also the Spatial Defense Minister of the Federation of Terran Nations, which means we are the third highest ranking member of the World Government. We have complete diplomatic immunity regarding all things, which includes killing those who either offend or otherwise harm us, or any members of our family. We have a rather broad definition of the word family, such that it normally includes everyone in, on, or involved with Stanford. Please note that we have killed people before who we felt have wronged us.

“The reason your practices have all been suspended until after Saturday is quite simple. Over the course of the summer, various members of the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band, as well as the Cardinal football team, were witness to some demonstrations of exactly what we can, and will, do to protect our own. The man behind me is sworn to protect us with his life, or to kill anyone we tell him to. He has done so, at our word. He is also - tied, if you will - with two other people as being the most deadly assassin in the world. Sayel, draw your blade.”

Without a word, he did so.

“Coach Elway, do you have two quarters in your pocket?”

He reached in, and pulled out a handful of change. I picked up two of them. Holding one of them by the edge between my left thumb and index finger, I held it out. “Sayel, cut this quarter in half.” He took half a step to his left, then swung the blade. I kept eye contact with the other coaches, watching their eyes go wide. I smiled inside, because I cheated a little, using my power to keep both halves together until I dropped them into Elway’s hand. He held up both halves, one in each hand.

Then, I held the other quarter between thumb and index finger, only this time by the face and back. “Sayel, cut this quarter in half.” I did move my other fingers up, so they weren’t in his way. He again made a swift motion. This time, I didn’t hold the pieces, but allowed both slices of quarter, perfectly cut down the middle, to fall to the floor at my feet. The only sound you could hear in the room was the metal tinkling as they rolled in two different directions.

“The Stanford University campus is the safest college campus in the State of California, probably the entire United States, quite possibly the entire world, because the security forces here operate under our authority. Saturday morning, there will be a demonstration upon livestock of what you just saw on metal, for every member of your coaching staffs and your teams. We have seventeen wives that are now enrolled as students here. What you saw happen to the quarters, what you will see happen to several cows, pigs, and goats, is what will happen to anyone that causes upset to our wives. Keep one other thing in mind.” I reached behind me and quickly pulled out my khukuri, the glistening blade reflecting the light in the room at them. “Sayel and two others are the second best assassins in the world.”

I stopped talking, meeting each of their eyes. “We are the best.” I then turned, so they could see the scabbard for the khukuri at my waist, flipped the blade into the air, and allowed it to land in the scabbard, without ever moving. I did cheat a little with telekinesis, but they didn’t have to know that.

Turning back around, I said, “Oh, and to step outside the ‘royal persona’ - because I really don’t like doing it, unless it’s for a state function or absolutely necessary - just as an FYI, you’ll probably find more interest in your own athletic events, simply as a secondary effect of our football broadcasts. So far, our two games have been viewed by over one point five billion people around the world. What’s it going to do for women’s basketball as a sport when one of my wives plays, and broadcasts of those games are viewed around the world as well? Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for ruining your morning and your practices this week, but I think that’s better than finding half your team slaughtered - just the way we will kill the animals at the barbecue this Saturday - because they acted stupidly, don’t you?”

Without saying another word, I turned and walked out of the room.

I stopped in the hallway, just so I could listen. Kennedy yelled out, “Before you ask, yes he is, yes he can, and don’t even bother saying anything. He just turned seventeen, he’s earned four doctorates from us just since last January. If it came to any of your jobs - or any of your lives - there’s nothing the Trustees or administration can or will do. He’s already been investigated by the NCAA, and if you decide to quit, so be it, we’ll find someone to take your place.”

Elway said, “Look, everyone, one of my assistant coaches last year had an impeccable resumé, wonderful referrals, and turned out to be a serial rapist. He raped a nurse here on campus. When Cal found out about it ... I watched him with my own eyes literally cut that man’s dick and balls off using Sayel’s sword, then cauterize the open wound with a blazing hot iron. He was also attacked by eight men armed with tire irons that planned on raping his girlfriends when he was back in Kansas. He didn’t just defeat those eight men in unarmed combat, he destroyed them. Three of his wives are in Mexico City right now because they’re in charge of the international rescue efforts. Oh, and if you heard that during our Fourth of July celebration, we fired live artillery rounds at Fremont - we did. He’s also the nicest kid you could ever want to know. He’s a team player, he’s got wonderful wives and kids, and is the smartest man on Earth. Just...” he snorted as he continued, “Don’t fuck with him. You piss him off, you better have your will made out and ready.”

I smiled at that, nodding at Dave, so we then left.

I’d already been in communication with Eve, so she was waiting for me at the door. First she kissed me, then she slapped me, then she kissed me again.

I wiggled my jaw a little, because even though she hadn’t used any power, my body knew her to be safe, so I felt it.

That was a preview of A True History - Book Five. To read the rest purchase the book.

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